What's your last message from a person of the opposite sex say?

What's your last message from a person of the opposite sex say?

"Okay"

"Guess who's not pregnant"

Not sure if u can find. In a bag in my closet. Go in and to right. Be home in 5

I was just going to text you with. Hey! Chicken Fucker!

"No, I'm done, when you will end being an asshole will be too late"

Well it did not went as I planned

Damn son i got quads. Today was a good day

Ich liebe dich mein schöner Mensch

Your white dick was so much bigger than my nigger husband's.

"How about 3:00? Bring whatever you want. Snacks would be great."

Good morning!

I swear I'm the most indecisive and most annoying person you'll ever meet

It's been a day.

"Im actually on my way to his house right now, you have nobody but yourself to blame for me leaving"

Fucking ex girlfriends man. What a whore.

"yea ill find those, hopefully
ok formating it now"

im n bed keeping naughty lil kitty purring til u gt back

Curtisn rods beds etc

KEK stay single fag

Form (sic) 1-10

"I know you can get dubs"

Ate my wifes ass in the shower this morning.
She blew me a bit
Text me it was a tease and she would have a buttplug in when I get off work.

"ok"

Yes, we should definitely hit up Happy Hour!

>lol

"Hahaha Geeze!"

There's two things I love about my girlfriend:
1- she's a foreigner and the states are amazing to her. My uninteresting life is somehow amazing to her.
2-she's a closet freak who squirts and who grew up in a mysoginistic country/society where women are treated like dirt. She actually appreciates small acts of kindness.

L = Recieved

Why thank you babe

>Yes, we should definitely hit up Happy Hour!
Or from a different female
"Yes, beautiful evening cutie butt "

"did you leave the back door open?" - housemate

I want to do it in her backdoor hehe

Move out already! - Mom 2015

"Ok. It's fine. You can say whatever you want/feel. I'll just let you know what i feel back."

married for 14 years, I feel lucky that she is still playful like that....... sorry your so forever alone that it's hard to believe.....

"If not we have ice cream"

I want to work in the garden tonight, the weeds are awful.

Je passe chez toi auj :) ?

The distance makes missing you like exponentially worse

Fuck, that's rough

some I want to try but not sure if I will like them!
do you have preferences?

Block her number nigga
You don't need that cancer in your life

"Stacco Internet che ho poca batteria porco dio"

>Haha
>Wuhu

"Oki 30 more minutes"

...

>Fucking ex girlfriends man. What a whore.
You only have yourself to blame, faggot.

"did you sleep with anyone else while we were together?"

"user answer me! I might have an STD and it would have been from you because I haven't slept with anyone since our break up"

"Nvm went to clinic, it was just razer burn"

Ex trying to fish around to see what I was up to I reckon.

I didn't answer.
NO WEAKNESSES

Fuck you

Hey! I we haven't talked in a while. Do you still wanna sleep over like planned?

I actually felt so depressed that I couldn't even get out of bed and I didnt want to see her like this.
Wat do.

go to her house
get yo dicc succed

"Haha, Sup Forums is for sinners"
What does this mean anons?

"I can't stop thinking about that gang rape fantasy."

>an account number
>sister wanted a tenner for a group present to Mom and Dad b/c of their anniversary
>mfw I sent the bitch the money

>Do you want to watch me fuck Martin? IDK if you're honry at all lol but since I'm not with you right now figured you might want to see some action for once ;)

Feels bad man...

Happy birthday (autistic smiley)

Ben je wakker liefje?

Hmm....
Wasted quads faggot

"Meep the little foxy is so cute!!! that made me smile baby!"

>Then hopefully we see each other this winter!!

Mkay

>such a shame. I would have loved to see how you take a cock

Dude what the fuck

damn

please

No dudes here. Make more sense now?

"get back in the truck!"

yaaaassss queen

Ich habs eh nicht geschafft. Vielleicht im Bus nach Wien rein heute. bin schon gespannt wie das hinhaut.

I haven't managed to do it. Maybe back on the bus to vienna. Thrilled to see how it works out.

>I don't want to do that to you user. You are awesome and just the sweetest guy and I wish I could be your one but I just don't feel it. as for -----. I could care less about not being with him
That was a week ago, still don't know what she meant by being "my one". I wanted a girlfriend not a wife.

Okay Lucas

Ooo nice

(sent her a pic of my new bbq)

I'd get lonely

wjat (sic) u mean u dont do butt stuff???

fake german detected

" so you just hit me up next time. good night looser." - in reference to me not wanting sex from her.

AH YES!!!

I asked if she wanted to hang out

Hitler did nothing wrong and neither did Stalin

I see, she's retarded and can't spell.

This.

"Kill me"

Pfft its just her way to let you down gently. She isnt sexually attracted to you. You're probably too dull to excite her.

Move on.

>haha ok I hope edibles work for you

>Goddammit you are so fucking immature. If you thought of my needs it wouldn't have come to this. You're so fucking selfish. Sign the fucking papers already and stop acting like a fucking child.


My soon to be x wife. She is trying to get a divorce with alimony and 1/2 my shit. She doesn't know I have hard evidence of her being a cheating whore, so im taking it to court. Cause she can't get shit if the reason for divorce is infedelity..... She's mad I won't sing off on a bad deal.

>"Please take ground beef out of the freezer"

"I've heard a lot of cases where it actually heals people"

Okay, I'll wait for you

"food, now"

It is indeed. But that's her rationalizing me away romantically rather than sexually. She's very prudish, only had 1 long term bf and only ever had sex with him. I was in those pants within a week. According to her she "realized she was excited about the acts and not the person".
In other words, I moved too fast (despite being a virgin myself lol) or you're right and i'm just dull. oh well

"A panda"

only climbs when she duos w her adc

"Idk let's ask her today"

U see how sluthy I am..now u might not want to fuck me again huh?

I said in that position or way I had to get spank or slap...

(Her adress), 10 pm. Have to go now, see you!

"Getting dressed"

I'll call you when I'm un-fat.

Wieso fake? Laber nicht

We've been fucking around since middle school and i think i might love her

"Hey baby!"

"This game sucks." In reference to her trying out No Man's Sky.

She for real? You think you love her and she is asking to bare a child that consists of half your DNA structure. She is asking to bare your child. Convince her to let you fuck her to get it, don't artificially inseminate her, I mean, do it if it's the only choice, but try to get laid. Pass your genes on, broski.

I can't even remeber.
It was about 8 years ago.

>mein schöner mensch

retard detected