Looks at you
What'll it be user
Looks at you
What'll it be user
A tall glass of purified irony
/r9k/ or 9fag ?
one UMA DELICIA please.
CAN YOU PUT JURRASIC PARK ON THE TUBE PLS
errr ahhh the house ale please, m'sir *tips hat*
Scotch, neat. And I said fucking neat, no fucking ice.
A piss warm changa please my good man.
An Old Fashioned.
Can I smoke cigars in here?
Just a glass of water no ice... I don't deserve any ice.
still water please
What kinda scotch you fags?
Can I get a glass of lighter fluid my man?
Bone hurting juice
Hey man, it's been a long day. *groans* Uhhh, I need get rid of this day from my memory. I'll take the most alcoholic drink please. Yeah, I'm talking about a Blackcurrant and Apple Fruit Shoot.
Glenfiddich, Laphroaig are both good
Two fingers of bleach please.
I'm in the mood to cease existing without dying, would you happen to have any liquid void on tap?
I'll have a Monster, the fifth one's wearing off
n-no thank you
Classy choice user. Bartenders are usually bros and heavy hand that shit.
rum and coke, faggot
Good response 2 ounce pour for you!
What's that? A bottle of JD and 80 Marlboro Red?
And I want a clean mug please
What the hell? user, there are literally 5 categories of Scotch.
t. Bartender who would want to double check your ID then give you some fucking Dewar's.
I'd like Glenmorangie, please
Shirley Temple, on the rocks
Pls kill me asshole.
1 temporary happiness, please
What's on tap?
1 glass of self respect please...
Scotch if i wanna get drunk, Scotch and soda if i am thisrty and old fashioned when i want a classy drink.
Give me something strong
I am still feeling suicidal again, even though I am no longer depressed
making the bartender attempt to discern your feelings so he can decide what you want from a list of 3 drinks
A shot of H202
water on the rocks
A nice steaming hot top of jizz
Got them cash mr outside leaked nudes?
Twippies of twuuf
Man walks in wearing a pinstripe suit, drenched in water
Walks up to bar, sits down and orders a black russian
Pulls out a slip with money and puts down $200
Pulls out an M1911, drops the magazine, pulls slide back releasing a bullet and catches it mid air
Sits the bullet on top of the $200 and sits his M1911 on bar
He looks me into the eyes and says "14 bullets and this ones my last I have only a few choices, I can sit here and finish my drink or try to run or I can chamber that round"
"But in less than 5 minutes from now authorities are going to storm this establishment"
He drank his drink in one swift motion, slammed it down then put his hands out across the bar then authorities came busting through the door
Turned out he was a mobster and just shot an undercover cop who had infiltrated their business. I kept the $200 and the bullet
that mobsters name?
Gimme a 7 and 7
I wish i could drink it. 6 more hours
Bone regrow juice in a pint. A shot of giggle juice. And some berty botts.
Vodka and orange juice.
Also set me up with a gaming comp plz.
I'll take a bullet to the brain. If you can't do that, then white russians will do. That's russians, as in fucking plural. Cheers boss.
Regular guy here here
Decide to go let niggers shit on me
Put on my pinstripe suit and go to meet niggers in an alley
Stick a bullet up my ass just in case and take a gun
Let niggers cum and piss on me
Meeting turns out to be a set-up by the police
Run to a local bar
Some autistic fuck behind the bar
"Whut will it bee?"
Order a black Russian and pull the shit stained bullet out of my ass
Pull out the cum stained $200 dollars I had in my pocket
Set them on the bar along with the gun
"Ah fuck, the cops are gonna be here any minute"
The cops storm the establishment and arrest me
The autistic fuck utters something about a mobster as I'm being dragged out and pepper sprayed.
Turns out it was just regarding some robbery near my house.
a pint of pale ale
and a night long of stalking my ex on facebook
I feel you brother
Whenever youve got your fill id just suggest you delete facebook in general. Ive been much happier since i did that
that's a screwdriver kiddo
its hard, i keep wanting to unfriend her but apart of me says she'll come back
jeesus i wish it were that easy
Don't let yourself think like that. Don't think "maybe if I leave the lines of communication there, she'll-". No. Just no. You need to burn that shit away. Delete, block, take everything she gave you and burn it. It'll suck, but it's for the best in the long run.
I thought it'd be hard to drop the connection to all those people, but after leaving a dozen alternative methods to contact me and deleting I've found it really liberating to find out that none of those people had an obligation to interact with me outside of facebook.
I am way happier now. If you two are ever getting back together let it be because she realized you werent there anymore and went looking for you.
Something gluten and alcohol free, without mint
Baileys from a shoe?
Creepy guy in a tutu leans close and asks..."You wanna go to a club were people wee on each other?"
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