Hey Faggots

Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my bitch

Fuck off summerfag your bitch looks plastic

Hi John

Fuck off summerfag your bitch looks plastic

classicpasta

obvious copypasta shitpost dumbfuck

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

The left has a sense of wonder at simple things as well as complicated things, can dish a joke especially if it’s a blatant lie, can’t take a joke or accept when they were the joke, which they always are. The left can change point of views according to circumstance or if the wind blows West and nothing ties them down as individuals except laying awake at night weeping over the plight of the ex-con nigger, and usually want everybody to live their lives however the fuck they want as long as they approve. For instance, they might not be gay, but think if gay people want marriage they should do as they please as it doesn't directly affect them and if you don’t agree there’s laws to make to force you to think like them. The left also laughs more at circumstance than anything, especially when individuals make poor choices or they’re white men.
The right can take a joke, immediately dishes out truth like calling people libtards when they’re libtards and denies libtards sjw bullshit, because in their mindset being a liberal is wrong, and they’re right. The right exposes bullshit when their superior ideology is challenged or things are being destroyed by the nigger loving, tranny loving, faggot loving libtards. (leaving out a wall of unintelligible bullshit) The right is more prone to joke about a person, his/her/it's stupidity, sex (hey don't assume its gender!) and things which you cannot just change like ethnicity, physical attributes, and basically anything the libtards think you can.

My college professor says sex isn't sexual and I was like no way jose and he was like ya baby so I was like okay does that mean like I'm going to get an A even though I like totally shined you on when you wanted to touch my pussy and he was like yehaw! bitch suck that buckin bronco and the fact that he was balls deep in my ass just made me think that it was just a little bit more sexual than he said it was but I got an A anyway lol XXD

obvious newfag is obvious

Dear black people,
I'm so sorry. I mean, I’m really sorry you’re so assfuckingly retarded.
I don’t owe any of you walking, talking hunks of shit reparations because every freedom that I have enjoyed for my entire life has been made possible by wealth that my ancestors earned. I have benefited from this wealth as you also would if you had any motivation beyond slamman da hoes, as my ancestors did, as our nation did before and after slavery. No white people owe reparations because as a white person I sit on the pedestal of humanity and civility that built the wealth of not only this country but the whole European world.
Every opportunity and amnesty I have has been earned despite all the niggers around the world. Everything in this country is soaked and saturated with the success of hard work and teamwork, something niggers haven’t even heard of. Even the times I have had to scrape for dollars in my life, I still worked my ass off for what little I could earn. I know full well that even the homeless white man on the street corner is going to get more head nods and ham sandwiches than the black man across the street because the black man is busy jackin old ladies for their welfare checks. So to every white person, no matter how little you got or you think you got, you don’t owe shit to any niggers. You owe them a bullet to the head right now and you will pay them right now, or they’ll attack a cop.
I'm so sorry. For the existence of niggers.

...

What in the whorly jesus did you just say about me, little rabble rouser? I’ll have you know I graduated just below 3/4 of my class in the Pillsbury Doughboy Sprinkle Cookie Bake Off, and I’ve been involved in numerous raids on the Seattle Mayor’s buttplug museum, and I have over 300 confirmed squirts. I am trained in rainbow pinch wrestling and I’m the top wiper in the entire US portapotty forces. You are nothing to me but just another sweet, soft baby butt. I will wipe your ass the fuck out of poo with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my stretch marks. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet and not smacking my balls? Think again,sweetmeat. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of buttpirates across the USA and your library card is being traced right now so you better prepare for the cultural enrichment, busybuns. The kind that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your Oscar Meyer. You’re takin’ a nap, youngin’. I can’t be anywhere, anytime because I cough a lot, and I’d have to research how to kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands but that’s so icky, let’s just cuddle okay? Not only am I extensively trained in drugged out penis-fencing, but I have access to the entire list of bathroom preferences of the United States Rainbow Coalition and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your wobbly ass. You’ll have to face the continent-sized women of the sjw movement, you little whackanoodle. If only you could have known what baby batter your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held the umbrella tighter. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you tittering furball. I will sprinkle happy juice all over you and you will drown in it. You’re getting a hug, friendo.

Allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.

Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it's a peach of cake

Hey John, haven't seen you for awhile.

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THIS is what’s wrong with American politics. The Democrats are no different. NONE of them are any different yet WE, THE PEOPLE keep voting for them while they throw their lavish Hollywood bashes for their friends-with-money and arrogantly stick their middle fingers in America’s face. Then they give their daily speeches, the conservatives gnashing and wailing about the evil liberals, the liberals gnashing and wailing about the evil conservatives and WE, THE PEOPLE follow lock-step and gnash and wail against each other, our families and friends, our co-workers and neighbors, giving credence to the great divide that THEY created and perpetuate. The reason our countrymen are so deeply divided on everything, not just the proliferation of guns but EVERYTHING is because our government is and that’s the way they like it. Because if WE, THE PEOPLE are neatly divided and cast in the cement of our differences they can just keep sticking their fingers up while lining their pockets with OUR money. There is no difference between the parties other than the spelling. If we do not give voice, loudly and with conviction to our discontent, our magnificent country will always be ruled by the madmen with the money. And it will be what we deserve. Because a nation ruled by lobbyists, corporations, banksters and their puppets isn’t a nation under God, by or for the people.

How exactly does one get pussy while living at the white house as a teenage boy? The secret service always cock blocking you. when you're trying to run game on some foreign prime ministers daughter the news media catches you smiling at her and immediately blows shit out if proportion speculating that you are somehow breaking international law with your awkward teenage flirting, so you have to testify before congress that you didn't give away any top secret documents to her and are made to admit live on C-SPAN that you've never even kissed a girl . Then you get blue balls from some hot conservative girl winking at you and flashing her panties under her skirt and making sexy faces and blow job motions to you while you were going through some airport or public event, and when you passed by and shook her hand she leans in whispering she is going to diddle her clit thinking about you tonight and how much she wants to suck your dick off, just to fuck with you. Then you try to look up some porn when you get home just to relieve the tension but you just know the CIA is monitoring and 3 other govornment agencies are watching you beat off. Then you finally break down and Jack off in the shower which sets off some fucking biohazard drain alarm and the entire place is on lock down until they can find the source of the specimen and you end up getting debriefed by the joint chiefs of staff about your masturbatory habits and how you almost created a national security issue with your dick. Then wikileaks leaks your search history showing you looked up penis enlargement techniques when it was actually just some click bait you'd accidentally clicked and TYT spends all next week talking about your supposed micro penis. So you end up squirming a little since you are so wound up and being judged constantly and now people are saying you look like a fucking mental patient and you start to think you'll never get any pussy.

you feel like punching me in the face? bring it on you ***got. I know multiple fighting styles, and I also carry a switchblade with me at all times. Something ****ing tells me that you'd be better off keeping your arms down at your sides. If you can't ****ing put "cause" and "effect" together in that pathetic brain of yours, I'll help you out here. You'll be standing face to face with me, and let me ****ing tell you, it'll already be too ****ing late to back down at that point. You might decide "well ****, I might as well stay true to my word and throw a ****ing punch". This is where you will go wrong. I hope you don't have a job that requires two ****ing hands, because you're going to be missing one after I'm done with you. I'll casually divert your fist off to the side, as you suddenly realize you may have gotten yourself into something you can't back up. You'll try to regroup and pull your arm back, but that wont be easy when I jab my spear-pointed Benchmade switchblade straight through the bone in your forearm, and proceed to rip your entire ****ing forearm and hand off in one quick pull. At this point, you'll probably spend 2 seconds in shock. I say 2 seconds, because thats the amount of time you'll have before I reverse the knife in my hand, and uppercut it straight through your throat. You'll spend your last few seconds gurgling blood, and wondering where you went wrong. After that, I'll be forced to take care of any witnesses who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nothing a few quick choke slams can't fix, followed by a nice gentle slice across the jugular with the Benchmade.
Now, mother****er, you sure you want to go through with that punch?

Hey Muggles,

My name is Albus Dumbledore, and I am more powerful than every single one of you. All of you are uneducated, wandless, squibs who spend every second of their day failing to cast even the simplest of spells. You are everything non-magical in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever casted a full body Patronus? I mean, I guess it's fun not being able to grasp the concept of basic swish and flick wand motion, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than being sorted into Hufflepuff.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot , and Order of Merlin First Class. What accolades do you possess other than being at the bottom of the quidditch standings year after year? I also own the Elder Wand, and have a banging hot Phoenix(He just blew up and was reborn; Shit was SO cash). You are all worse than Slytherins and should probably hand in your wands. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and Harry Potter

Summerfag just discovered what is copypasta.

...

I wrote some of these fucktard

Newfag trying to be oldfag with a copypasta