So they waited half a year for Professor Sprout's mandragoras to be ready...

So they waited half a year for Professor Sprout's mandragoras to be ready? Couldn't they just get mandragoras from someone else? Buy them, deliver from another country... Students been in snake coma for half a year.

>Students been in snake coma for half a year.

they had to be, otherwise the snake would have to actually kill people, not that it makes it less retarded

>snake simply ignores people petrified for whatever reason

>snake simply ignores people petrified for whatever reason

The fuck is it supposed to do? Eat rock?

>hogwarts
what do you expect from a school where the wizarding equivalents of mass shootings are an annual past time?

smash it or something, it's a big snake

unless Riddle wasn't controlling it all the time, then it would make sense for it to think the petrified victims were actually dead

They sent Hagrid to Wizard-Guantanamo with not a single scrap of evidence.

Wizards are not the best when it comes to thinking, and so nobody would have thought to grow mandrakes for no purpose but to have a ready supply in case it was needed for a potion.

What did you expect from one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises, kid. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

...

>hagrid is one of the people doubledoor trusts the most
>he sends two 10 year olds alone into murder forest during the night

Was Hagrid virgin until he met Madame Maxime or did he have sex with one of his beasts?

>not realizing that this shit makes no sense when you were a kid
>not realizing that rowling was a hack more than a decade ago

The world has no internal consistency. A rule will be established in one book only to be ignored in the next. Sometimes it's chapter to chapter.

Give me some examples

To be fair, the most dangerous thing in there(except for Voldemort... Who Dumbledore obviously wasn't counting on) are those spiders, and they actually listened to Hagrid, if he'd risk taking the kids near their nest. The centaurs hadn't grown sick of humans yet and so they wouldn't have really hurt any kids.

The forest is just hyped up as being this incredibly dangerous place filled with werewolves and other monsters because you don't want your students going off into a big-ass wood to duel, fuck and whatever else they could think of and getting lost. It's bad enough that the castle has so many hiding-places.

>implying he had sex with Maxime

Hagrid is pure. And infertile due to his mixed heritage, with a sex drive to rival his prowess in magic.

What I never understood was how the fuck the Snake managed to move around in the school unseen in the first place. They say it's using the sewers, but how the fuck does it peek out to petrify people without leaving a giant ass hole in the wall?

Could the HP setting have felt as magical if it wasn't just a bunch of strung-along bullshit that falls apart under the slightest scrutiny and everything actually tied back to some kind of rules of magic?

Pretty sure he just commands it via parseltongue, there's nothing to suggest he possesses its body.

Also, why are the sewers in a centuries old building so enormous?

user please, Hagrid is incredibly horny but feels very guilty and unclean for his desires and never acts on them

he busted a gallon of nut in his trousers and cried all night long when he saw Maxime bend over

The entire thing is fucking retarded, what was she thinking

>60ft snake monster
>kills by eye contact
>fucks the job up 4 times
>somehow wanders around the castle unnoticed
>leaves no traces at all

Unless there's some huge ass pipes opening up into corridors it doesn't make any sense.

Unicorns let him heal them.

He's pure.

These types of threads always ruin my memories of HP books. I really loved them back in time.

It always really fucking bugged me that Harry doesn't think Snape understood him when he tells him about the vision he had of Sirius in the department of mysteries. Like he fucking expected Snape to say something to Umbridge about how they had to go check on the situation right now.

Fucking unbelievable.

what if harry was a girl

how would snape treat him

lily 2.0