Fjuck fuck fjuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fucking fuck shit fuck son of a fucking bitch fuck my fucking bullshit life...

fjuck fuck fjuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fucking fuck shit fuck son of a fucking bitch fuck my fucking bullshit life. fuck me for being a fucking bitch, fuck her, fuck them. fuck this fuck it. fucking shit fuck. what the flying fuck is fucking wrong with me sonofa fucking bitch god dammit fucking shit fuck

...

...

every fucking thing about me is fake including the fake fucking "i'm a fucking survivor, I'm strong., i'm cold cause muh dick and muh alpha, and i don't fucking need to be acknowledged as a fellow human being, and it doesnt fucking bother me that the few friends I still consider friends that I went out of my way to help have fucking dissapeared now that their shit is straight and mine is fuck, and my i fuck bitches i dont fall for bitches cause muh dick and muh alpha is fake, and every fucking thing that I fucking like about my fucking self is fucking fake. and i can't post this shit on fucking facebook, and I know no one gives a flying fucking shit here so I can post it here. I sure as fuck can't talk to someone about it because there is no one to fucking talk too because every body else's shit is all fucking gravy and friends are only fucking friends when their shit is fucked and I'm a fucking piece of shit bitch with no god damn idea how to be anything else.

fuck it .. bitch/baw thread.

TODAY I KILLED YOUR DOG

Yeah.....you know who you are. When you called me from out of state to take your dog, I told you that we were no longer able to do out of state rescues. You then told me your dog stood no chance because he had bitten people. I explained that we would not take a dog with a serious bite history because there were just too many dogs out there, that have never bitten anyone. I gave you ideas on how to house him properly as I too own (4) fractious dogs.... And that if you couldn't keep him, then "do the right thing" and let yours be the last face he sees before letting him cross over the bridge.

So you thought you'd "pull a fast one" on me and unbeknownst to me, you sent him to a friend of yours here in Louisiana. When your friend tried to get me to take him, I repeated the same words to him as I did to you. With your dog being a huge, middle aged male Pit Bull that bites people.....this was not a dog that I wanted to send out into the world. I explained that the "non-biting" Pit Bulls have a hard enough time getting a home. So once again your dog's life was up-rooted and your friend turned him loose and called our local animal control and said there was a "stray" outside his house.

The unsuspecting animal control officer went out (we hadn't put the pieces of the puzzle together at this point) and when your dog became aggressive with him, the officer had to put a catch pole on your dog for everyone's safety.

Your dog fought and struggled as the officer put him into a cage on his truck. And in doing the right thing, the officer realized this dog needed special attention and instead of bringing him to the shelter, he brought him to one of our satellite locations.

We gave your dog some time and space. He was empty. There was "no one home". Between being shut down and confused, your dog was not happy to see us. It wasn't until he tried to bite two of my workers that I was able to put all the pieces of the puzzle together and figured out which dog this was. I became enraged at first but that quickly turned to such an overwhelming wave of sadness.

After giving it much time and thought, I decided to do what should've been done back at your dog's home. But instead of him sitting in your lap and you stroking his face and telling him that you were sorry for failing him....it was me and the compassionate team at our vet's office....a group of complete strangers that tried to comfort your dog. He wanted nothing to do with anyone of us. I couldn't hold him. I couldn't kiss his face as he crossed over. Instead I had to hold him at a distance on a lead rope, while he shook with his tail between his legs. But as if you care, it was calm environment. We talked softly to him and we made it as peaceful as he would allow. He fell asleep on the floor and only then was I able to stroke his beautiful muscles and close his eyes before the fatal dose was given to him.
Your dog is gone now. It was my face he saw last. It should've been yours. I killed your dog but why does it feel like a piece of me died too?

Well...this thread got off to a lovely start...

...

you stupid fucking bitch. what the fuck have I been fucking doing at 3 in the morning when you're fucking breaking down on your road to fucking recovery, and no one else is there because no one else fucking gets it. do you think I'm fucking bending over backwards to get you through this because I'm fucking bored. wake the fuck up and stop looking for shit that is right the fuck in front you. FUCK YOU.

fuck you all. someone call me a fucking faggot ass bitch because I decided to remember there are feelings other than anger please. I thought I was past this fucking shit.

nope. you're right to feel for doggo

humans suck fucking ass bro

i'm sorry

feeble retard. I was interested in helping and empathizing with your problems until i realized it was pussy related. Be a man, learn a new skill, cut some logs, read a book, draw a landscape. You should be stressed about taxes, and the eternal struggle with ones philosophical self - not some fucking random piece of tail. Get a life and stay off of my board.

fuck you and the fucking dick you rode in on. I'd be fucking giggling if the main problem was pussy.

speak up then buster. what's eatin' you?

>b had him convinced he was a sociopath
>he had to kill a dog at work
>some human had destroyed the dogs mind with abuse then abandoned it to "services"
>the whole thing gave him feels

shit, sorry i belittled you OP

doggo story was me too. copied it from my post on facebook.
that.. coupled with stress from bills, health shit, basically pretending to be an adult.. I have a circle of about 5 friends. Every single one of them have been through fucked up shit and I was the one they called.

Their shit is fixed, mine is falling apart. I havent heard from any of them since they are doing ok.

issues with a chick who is blind as a fucking bat, that I am helping with addiction recovery not seeing the fact that I care about her is just the icing on the fucking cake.

I'm normally able to bury emotions. I cant today.

I'm not OP

this cracka who can't write a fucking coherent sentence is OP

you have a serious case oF Retardism..

It is when you are both retard and autistic at the same time

I can. It's just easier to vent using stream of consciousness than it is to try to put emotion into proper grammatical form.

thank you.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

LMAO
listen to me. get ur shit straight. i'm not gonna tell you that "everyone is stressed so why should we care about your stress" but it's true. Although venting like this be it on a board or in a journal is actually beneficial, it should never have come to it.

If you experience love, you regret it.
If you don't experience love, you regret it.
If you live when you're younger, you're gonna be brittle and have fucking up kidneys when you're older
If you save up the fun for when you're older, then your body will still become brittle due to aging.

If you do x you will regret y
If you do y you will regret x

Life's a joke, treat it as such. We don't cry or get angry or feel certain emotions at a joke do we? No. We just laugh it off. So when life is presenting itself as a fucking joke, it's only sensible to laugh at it. You'd have to be a moron not to find the pathetic entropic chaos that is... "life"

Ok then faggot.

Oh I get life.. sort of. I'm 35. Ex military, been homeless twice, recovered drug addict after a 5 year binge with every substance I could get my hands on. Lost my father. Mother won't speak to me, sister doesn't acknowledge my existance, and I'm still standing on my own.

Doesn't change the fact that I'm not sure how long I can pretend to be ok.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Also for the sake of your overall anger towards the subject. You're human. No one is truly a psychopath, or a sosiopath. Do you know what sort of extreme circumstances breed someone who doesn't feel? The worlds most ruthless serial killers shed tears at the sight of someone close like a mother being harmed. Or some brutal warlords spare the lives of animals in their rampage through a city because they see them pure.

You'd have a lot more to be angry about if you DIDN'T feel anything you Sup Forumsitch

fuckin thread

Part of the problem is I look for validation that I'm a decent human being by being the person others can count on for help.

a recent post from my social media.
I try to surround myself with people who have struggled or are struggling. That's why my circle is small. If you have never made a mistake that made you question who you were and then recovered, if you have no flaws that you had to learn to see as part of your beauty, I have no use for you. If you've sat in your sheltered little bubble and never fallen, you can't tell me how to keep going when I fall.
The flip side, if you've ever fallen so deep that you didn't know if you could climb back up, but did. If you're falling and struggling now, and can't see the light at the end of that tunnel, there is nothing that I have that I wont give, nothing that I won't do to help pull you up. I never once landed at rock bottom and climbed out without someone throwing me a lifeline. If you are where I've been, I want you in my life. If you are where I'm going, I want you in my life. I'll need someone to hold the rope as I climb towards you.
You are never alone. If you think you are, give me a chance to change your mind.


Without it, i realize I am nothing more than the mistakes I've made.

Carrying my own shit and trying to be ^ that person .. i don't know how to make it work.

a broken man i see. have you not turned to alcohol and sleepless nights yet then you're a role model. my advice i guess is to keep going, as no one is sure what the criteria is for offing ones self. Maybe a kid in africa reads your situation and says you have a life worth living, but an ivory tower business man says you're filth and meet the requirements to end it all. You see there is but one question so profound yet left so unannswered, that is - is life worth living?

it's very dangerous to live a lie. if you've been nothing but helpful only for selfish reasons then that's not the worst thing in the world right? You pretending to give shits helped sort other peoples lives, and if they leave you then you've done your duty also they're retarded.

I think your whole situation is an odd one my friend, you've been left injured from emotional trauma far too long and it's a good thing to see you haven;t gone numb

I sleep like shit but so does every adult who has stress.

I can't turn to alcohol because I'm a weak fucking bitch who can't take a sip of alcohol without turning into a beer and whiskey soaked puddle of shit.

my life is no harder than anyone else's. Every shitty thing in my life is because I made bad decisions.

My only redeeming quality is that at the moment I'm still standing. I just don't fucking know for how long.

been fun everanon. time to find the rekt thread. i must go

But if every action I take now , even the good things I try to do, is based on a lie, how the fuck do I figure out where the truth starts. Figuring out who and what I really am is important to me but I've lived lies for so long I believe them. I will spend the rest of this thread making excuses because I legitimately believe my own fucking lies.

you're a good man user. forget about the dog and the females and all the basic problems a human is doomed to experience, and think about how you're safe and sound. listen to some music and drink a low-cal sweet hot or cold drink whatever is your style my friend.

stay away from sad songs if you need to as well, because you can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness.

wut

listen to me you son of a bitch. no one is capable of finding out who they really are. i'm not saying you can't or you shouldn't but life is too abrupt and far too tacky for you to find the meaning of life- let a lone the meaning of what it means to be (You).

tl;dr sad sack of shit vents and rages about a shitty life he created, makes excuses, and takes bits and pieces from replies because they make sense and eventually feels a little better.

call OP a sack of shit again bitch i dare you

Thank you anons

I see there are more people like me
The day i figured out nobody gives a shit if you die life will simply go on without you is the day that changed my life i literally felt all stages of dying and its fucking pathetic i was affraid of falling asleep because i felt my body giving up jesus it hit me like a rock that ive been a fucking alcholic for 7 years. The lowest i got was when i first tried speed thats one pice of shit i tell you. And i ate 8 ex pills in about 3 months smoked weed for about 2 years been a drug dealing scum i even have scars in my face jesus its hard to look in the mirror sometimes.

above post IS OP

Was giving confused user the abridged version of my pity party

OP here.

I want to help. At the moment, I'm not the right person. I dont have the answer right now, but it's possible some of the advice anons gave me can be applied to your situation too.

Regardless, I hope it helps to at least know you're not the only one.

:3
embrace that feeling. if it caused you spiral out of control then you just weren't ready to understand it. if i read it wrong and you mean that the feeling helped you recover, then you're on the road to understanding basic philosophy my dearest user. it's a pleasure to have you on board.

I dont know what to say man it all started like all my obssesions one girl blew me off and i was shocked then i learnd what she is a fucking drugi i was a drunk so it didnt matter i started fucking small i had like one guy that sold me weed for dirt cheap i was cuting it and breaking even so i could reach higher guys with more weed soon i started to be know in my town because nobody did it it was a fucking power trip i had more than i could smoke and everyone accepted any price i put out there soon it got in my head i lost one year of school all i could think of is her and how i will have her for myself i stsrted to be a heavy smoker ciggarets and weed and ofcourse drinking every weekend. When i got too the highest rank i was already thrown out from every girls mind in my town except the sluts and gold diggers i got punchd with a brass knuckle in the head 2 times didnt even drop too the ground almost killd a guy fuck and when i finally got too her i just ignored her because i had a big job ahead of me i was given speed practicly for free i blew her off and it feelt amaizing i then tried my first pill while on speed i feel in love after that i had about 3 pills in 3 weeks. Thats almost all of my story. Now i have a question about MDMA i took one pill in the middle of the week than one two days later and then one three days later so all in all 3 pill in one week since than i had that near death expirence i stopped smoking and drinking now i only have one question there is this party i wanna go to and i still got that one mdma pill should i go or not it has passed about 2 weeks since my last pill and the party is next week than i have to go aboard too work