HEY Sup Forums, YOU'RE A BUNCH OF NECKBEARDED FAGGOTS RIGHT?!

HEY Sup Forums, YOU'RE A BUNCH OF NECKBEARDED FAGGOTS RIGHT?!

OF FUCKING COURSE YOU ARE! SO LET'S PLAY D&D

Make a character, I don't quite give a flying fuck what it is, hell make a cyborg abraham lincoln who is also black for all I care, as long as it doesn't immediately break the game, you good.
Just describe some of the shit they can do, maybe some backstory, and whatever gear they have.

Find yourself some sort of dice roll program and get ready to bring Sup Forumss cancer to a fantasy world unprepared for this wave of sheer stupidity

I am god

Go north

You know, I almost wanna say that I said no game breaking, but fuck it, let's see where this goes, you stroll off northbound, in all your godly might, coming upon a small shithole of a village, its name is Quinn's Peace, home to a terrible bar where people come to fight more than to drink, a smithing shop with a racist dwarf as its owner, a local wizard who may or may not have dementia, a small store sellling odds and ends, and a church to Pelor, not you.

I want to be a cyborg abraham lincoln who is also black

DO IT THEN, WHAT SHALL YOUR WEAPONS AND POWERS BE NIGGAHAM LINCBORG

go in bar

Name: Ryan Seacrest
Class: Seamancer (can control all water as long as some traces of salt can be found)
Equipment: Staff of Kek (ancient staff of the god of random numbers bought from a toad man) Steel dagger, Cloak of Nig( Pull over my face to turn black as night used for stealth)
Origin: From the time Ryan could walk he was constantly raped by all his village elders for being the prettiest young boy in all of Dourbridge a town by the sea. One day a Sea Nymph saw Ryan getting raped in his tight ass and bestowed upon him the art of seamancing he then flooded the village killing everyone. He now goes around flooding villages wherever young boys get raped.

>WEAPONS AND POWERS
gat and giving speaches

As you step into the bar, the smells of vomit, cheep booze, and fresh blood assault your heavenly nose. The people all freeze as they see such a powerful man come in, some murmuring that you msut be a noble, or an angel sent to save their damned souls. However, suddenly, a big, beer gutted fellow sits up with a belch, and walks over to you, speaking with a slur and spitting every word "Oi you prissy fuck...this 'eres a *hic* bah, yooz lookin in dah rooong plashe felluh" and as he finishes this drunken spiel, he raises his pint of beer high, draining it, and then smashes it over the top of your head, dealing no damage as you are god

I go south

Do I know you? I swear to god i know you. Where will you start?
You head south, towards the endless pit of death and despair, all who fall within return eventually as monstrous abominations of flesh and pure hell energy. Will you cast off your mortal form and any sense of pleasure in return for eternal torment and unimaginable power?

transport him naked to the top of the nearest mountain (dropping his clothes and supplies where he was) and order a round of double whiskey shots for the whole bar

>Where will you start
the bar with god

faggots

Staff in hand I plunge myself into the abyss

...

Yes

The man you transported to the top of the nearest mountain is instantly assailed by freezing temperatures and slicing winds. As he shivers holding his shriveling manhood, he can hear the faint howling of yetis, he begins to cry...as for the bar, they cheer, remarking that he was a cunt anyways, everyone happily taking their double shots in earnest.
as you step through the door you see a man who is very obviously radiating a powerful aura that could move worlds if he wanted to, but at the same time your nig senses tingle at the sight of free whiskey, compelling you to ignore the godly man, and partake in cheep alcohol
/qst/ is for homos
as you drop into the abyss your previous hardships happen again and again, your body is torn asunder a thousand times yet you remain alive. Every single inch of your body is distorted and mangled, turning into a massive blackened flesh beast, faces forming and dissapearing always screaming of rape, your form is amorphous but you can take a more humanoid colossal form, your staff is now forever jutting from your left arm, now replacing your forearm

I am a tumbler wizard. Who has mastered the arkane arts of Triggercation, Mansplanment, Equalmancy, Gapwagetation, Privilagation,

As for race there is none and all that asks what my race is makes me furious. My gender is varies upon mood.

Where will this abomination start and go? Perhaps this is a wizard from the pits, casting its hellish magic and corrupting the nice folk of the world

My background is a wizard drop out who does not agree with the conventional methods of magic. For they hurt my feelings and others. And that the highest class of wizards are privileged Pale skinned elves.

I head for the north, hungry for holy light

I will first go on a quest to enlighten the ignorant and less fortunate races of my cause. They lack the knowledge that is which is their own bigotry.

I am the devil and my objective is to kill god.
Weapon:Rock hard willy that shoots fire
i want to start at the bar with god

Hey buddy I just threw my candy ass in the abyss so I can fuck up god get in line asshole

>everyone happily taking their double shots in earnest.
cheers into the air making everyone feel a light clink on their own glass and knock back the shot chugging for a solid 30 seconds as the shotglass refills, slam it down and look over the crowd for the most interesting person

So I guess I head to the nearest wizard school that has not banned me yet.

>see a man who is very obviously radiating a powerful aura
grab at least two shots and walk up behind this man giving him a bear hug

>/qst/ is for homos
True, speaking of: can I be a gay lizardman (like The Lizard from Spiderman)?

weapons: claws (bleed damage), large dick (heals teammates)

I AM ABRADOLF LINCLER
I'm a morally neutral super leader
I got a wood chopping axe and a walther.

TO HELL WITH YOU *grabs you by the shoulders and pulls you down to the nether realm*

I'm an empty, moldy styrofoam McDonald's cup.

I am a radiant anus. I can cast hyperspectral buttblast and I can easily accommodate the gay lizardman's heal benis.

I buttchug some whiskey with god and stumble out of the bar to barf/shit it all over the local chieftan.

Cortinious VI, the walking penis of atlantis.

With the power of unlimited semen capable of blasting away his foes with ease, he ventures into the unknown unwavering, searching for the truth.

I jizz in the cup

You begin to crawl back from the depths of the hellpit, unholy energy seeping from every shifting pore of your body, blackened tar remaining where you touch, corrupting it and perverting it into hellish parodies of what it formerly was. On the horizon, you see Quinn's peace, and you feel a vast and powerful holy light emanating from it.
most everyone you try to preach to calls you a cunt and either threatens violence or simply walks off
You arise from hell into the bar, your immortal nemesis,God himself, being there. Others around you are either unnerved or charmed but everything around you slowly perverts via your hellish presence
You notice a cyborg president nigger and satan
The nearest school requires a perilous trek through the mountains of normia, where only the normal may live.
You do so, instantly feeling reinvigorated by his touch
yes, yes you can
k, where go
satan no, he aint there yet. Also do you guys want me to set up a discord chat for this so we can play after the thread 404s? Also god damn guys calm it, I can only type so fucking fast

This triggers me. I cast Trigger person on the nearest group of young collage females. I must be herd! This injustice cannot go!

fun, he tongues your anus, the kinky fuck
k, where start

The spell fails, as the normals do not have triggers to be triggered, they laugh at your hair dye and out of shape body, one even suggests that maybe you were polymorphed into a new kind of orc

I keep spewing prismatic whiskey diarrhea for a few minutes and then ask him for work. By the way, I have high charisma.

Satan here. I run towards god and stick my willy in his ass firing lava everywhere and killing abraham whoever the fuck he is

Like the bitch that I am. I will just shut down for abit and tip my wizard fedora hat. There must be a way.

I will then summon my familiar rainbow fluttershy sparkel. And have them scout the area for any star bucks or minorities. If the collages wont hear me. The greasy dwarves or ghetto halfings may!

>satan
dress him as a bondage maiden and put him displayed prominently in the middle of the bar in stockades with a sign saying please use me
>cyborg president nigger
morph around turning basically inside out and hug him back
say "niggaham! what brings you here?"

I approach it ever hungrier

>feeling reinvigorated by his touch
touch myself lightly

Lizardman here: I go off to find someone who is also of homosexual orientation so we can preform the activities that are generally practiced by two homosexuals when they are alone together.

Also I forgot to mention this but reptiles have two dicks so I do too.

I am an undead werhmacht solider with a thirst for bloodshed, I carry my magical gewher rifle able to use magic infused bullets to implode my enemys. I find myself in an unfamiliar land unsure of how I arrived. I go east looking for valhalla

a brothel with the finest of wenches

God's perfect asshole is ravaged by your demon cock, yet he feels no pain, and your cum seems to do nothing, however abraham does feel his mechanical parts melting from the heat
He offers you a job as a brewery, enjoying your prismatic whiskey diarrhea
Satan is now humiliated, suffering another defeat at the hands of god, niggaham is slightly perturbed but otherwise okay with your friendly hello
you are touching yourself in front of god, nice job
The trees you pass begin to rot and wither before gnarling and gnashing out, the ground putrefying into a viscous sludge, the animals within the forests become feral and demonic all begining to rape and murder eachother, some attempt to harm you, but they dissolve into your flesh, adding to your biomass The town looms forward, people begin screaming at the sight of you

https:// discord dot gg/nspm7 The link to the discord server

Also
>mekindof.jpg

nigga you best join the discord i stg
you head west to homoia, a land of liberal homogays, where everything is AIDS
As you go eastwards, you see nothing but filthy big nosed jews wringing their hands and begging for your gold

https:// discord dot gg/Hecgr2m remove the spaces, its a perma link

>niggaham is slightly perturbed but otherwise okay with your friendly hello
say "niggaham what's wrong? I can tell my your lack of vocal response and barely noticable mastubation you need some kind of help but what is it?"

Satan strikes back.I take off the stupid fucking outfit revealing my 20 inch lava shooting rainbow destroying cock and rush back into the bar jumping at god full force slapping the shit out of his eyes.

>you are touching yourself in front of god, nice job
Continue, increasing pressure but decreasing speed

sweet jesus god you best join as well, you and ryan are definitely two im hoping will get in the discord.

I scream of the motherland and all their kind has done to me I point my rifle at the first man who asked me for my gold and pull the trigger, his body is crushed to the size of a penny then explodes in a glorious flesh fountain. The peasants run in fear when they see the face I make as I take my first kill of this land. I pilfer my surroundings but find nothing. I continue east.

Your trek eastwards takes you through another town, this one filled with negroes claiming "they wuz kangs" and demanding you "square up nigga", they are all less intimidating and more annoying than they would ever be able to realize

joined

Radiant Anus here. . .I get bored with barfshitting prismatic buttwhiskey all day and head eastwards to follow that other guy.

I shoulder my rifle and reveal my trench knife I pull it from my jack boot and ask who wants to die.

I am Harrith the Law-Giver, 3rd level warrior, Great Doranthian War veteran, and Guard Captain of the Fortuitous City of Doranth. Long has my family line occupied the position of guard captain, even gaining minor nobility status from His Graciousness, Duke Ochorian VII.

Tell the residents of homoia I am interested in their homoerotic endeavors but wish to partake in activities that will not cause in my contraction of AIDS or HIV.

I set my gaze upon the bar I call out for the attention of the patrons calling forth the one who has such holy energy.

"me", says layton with wings

They all chimp out at the sight of the knife and begin running away, some breaking windows for no other reason than nigger, some raping eachother, either way a sentient anus is now with you
k, what do
they tell you everything here has contracted AIDS
your unholy screechings begin to curdle the air and call forth dark storms, the town is silent, except for the bar
good god layton you are gonna die you poor bastard

If I get aids, can I use my dick on myself to cure it?

I mean...yeah sure why the fuck not ALSO WERMACHT GET IN THE 'CORD

As what appears to be a Layton with wings approaches from the shadows I turn and hear him wish to die, the nefarious gang of niggers all sit on their porches and hoot and holler whilst lighting their b&m's the air hangs heavy with the stench of tobacco.
I ask for what you truly wish. Lest be it no answer we fight to the death, I am already undead.

Jesus christ if you dont join the discord

Harrith arrests the nearest criminal

One second.

The nearest criminal is a hulking abomination of hatred, rape and hell energy that slowly corrupts anything near it

wtf you never replied to god?

make 6 hits of acid appear in everyone's mouth

Kinda waiting for niggaham to respond, hes sorta not doing anything i can respond to

Harrith, feeling empowered by six shots of acid, bull rushes the criminal scum in hopes of taking him into custody.

Seacrest likey

As you charge forward you can feel its corrupting influence snaking through your body,morhping your left arm into a mass of tendrils, and the left side of your face into a tar like mess, but still you press on, slashing into seacrest's leg, black ichor spewing out, coating you in corrupting blood

I aproach this thing with wings that has a faining death wish i grab him by the chest and plunge my knife into his chest carving a hole for my surprise. I reach behind my back and pull a stanheil grenade and plunge it into his chest. I take a step back from the gasping creature that wants to see death. I remove the pin and laugh maniacally as I'm covered in its blood. Then it explodes.

>I threw myself into the abyss to get back at god for giving me a shitty life
>Ignored by God

I think I love this guy, you best be ThatOneGuy1945 on discord

Wermachat reporting in.

HELL YE

>niggaham
Look up at god with a melancholy grin, eyes beginning to water water.
Say "god I have traveled far to be here, as soon I heard of your might once again in these lands I knew I had to seek you out for I'm having enough trouble as it is and I can't take anymore"

Harrith does not give up and yells, "JUSTICE WILL PREVAIL!" At the same time, he doubles his efforts to "arrest" the black being and act in "self defense"

Covered in filth I decide to rest and grease my rifle with the blood that covers me. I decide to ask for directions.

The ichor begins to flood your open mouth, turning your once pure white msile into a yellow maw of sharp fangs, your insides warping to that of a gluttonous demons digestive tract. The rest of you is slowly corrupting, but the leg is beginning to heal, not quick enough to prove your efforts pointless, but definitely enough to slow your progress
the niggers only speak in ebonics, and are in no way comprehensible

Harrith's lust for justice is too powerful to be slowed. He keeps ferociously attacking using everything he can, even his new teeth

I continue east once more in hope that my faith in valhalla will be the guide that takes me there, I fail to understand the monkeys I see in front of me, possibly this world has no Aryans. I must purify these lost souls, when i reach the edge of town I look back and see the stain they leave upon mankind I equip my scope and leave my mark along with the footsteps of a dead man.

As you describe your..."lust", the blood seeps into your nethers, forcing your genitalia to grow to immense proportions, wicked spikes lining your shaft. One could barely call you human any longer. Yet still the good fight prevails, as you are almost halfway through the beast
Further east you find a town of similar, yet still alive aryan men and women, who politely inform you that the path to valhalla can only be reached via airship, and only with the accompanyment of a god. They offer you an ancient nordic dagger, infused with aryan supremacy magics, that probably does cool shit like your gun

Harrith will RIP AND TEAR all who avoid justice

As I take the blessed dagger and hear of the truth to my path, I thank them of their heritage and tell them they will 've remembered.
I travel to an open field and draw a magic circle. The dagger opens a portal to hell, if I must find valhalla I need the keys to the bell, I must find himmler.

come into the discord, I'm abandoning this thread for the discord

i shift ryans form to be able to go back to a more manageable seacrest form but hes able to morph into the death beast

Abandon thread
Abandon thread
Abandon thread
Abandon thread
Abandon thread

As I approach the gates of hell, I'm greeted by those who knew my glorious name, I approach Satan himself and ask if he knows where himmler is, he says he is at the top of the mountain. I trove my way through blood, demons and tormented souls not worthy enough to be anything more. Surrounding the mountain are memorabilia of the 3rd Reich I see himmler enjoying himself amist his Jewish slaves, I ask him for the keys.
He replys I will owe him a favor. Says it's parked in the back. It's glorious the sheen of this marvolus machine makes me feel almost alive. I get in and start the way to my salvation. My bell warps me back to the gates and out of the portal. I have my airship Capcha: geminis subs