Shit Sup Forums wut do. The wife and I kicked our son out for being a lazy little shit. His van friends picked him up and he's supposed to be halfway to texas. Anyways, I just checked the cookie tin in my wife's bondello and the cash is gone. All of it.
A few minutes ago, my son emailed me pic related. Those are my fat stacks, how do I resume from here? I don't want my boy behind bars, but I need my green.
What's that like 800 bucks? Is he worth that much trouble?
Omg, just realized, those aren't his hands either. His van friends have my green! What should I do Sup Forums?
We'll there's your problem. You birthed a negroid.
BURN IT FOR JESUS.
Karma is real negro spawn
That's all of the green to my name. I have to react quick before his van friends spend it on something whacky.
That's not my boy. My boy is not that color. That boy has brown complexion. The brown boy has my green stacks of fat cash.
Tell your son to clip his nails
Nigger
Too late nigroid.
I don't want to alarm you but your son appears to be a nigger. Perhaps that's the problem??
I have white skin, not brown complexion. And as of now, I don't know the van friend's whereabouts, or my white boy. What do I fucking do Sup Forums? The police will take my white boy and put him in the bars.
Call the cops you stupid faggot. It's your cunt wife's fault for not using a bank.
>Captchca: helicopter
>I don't want my boy behind bars, but I need my green.
>"Yeah, this is 911"
>"Been robbed."
>"K who did it"
>"My boy and some niggers"
>"Wanna press charges?"
>"Yeah just not my boy"
ezpz. Take that $800 and grab a beer or two afterwards
No, I don't want my boy in the bars. You want my boy in the bars, but I do not want him behind them. My wife was keeping the stacks of fat green cash in the bondello for SAFE keeping. my son is a thief it should not have happened.
Maybe he deserves jail.
This is a good idea, but can police units disperse beyond state lines? And if they do, will they obey my orders and leave my white boy untouched? And my fat stacks in one piece?
>this thread
My sides are fucking gone. What is OP on?
Bro who the fuck talks like this "van friends", "green", "whacky", "brown boy has my green stacks of fat cash", I'm fucking dead man.
Bunch of good questions for the cops. I live In Canada, so the place is too big for state lines. You need to drive 50 hours from my house to reach the next "state."
If he's less than 18, you can ask to have him brought home. Otherwise, the best you can do is give them a picture and tell them not to hurt him or throw him into the slammer. That's the best I can offer.
Try to talk with your son over the phone first. Then after all this shit blows over, sit down and TALK with him. He's got some kind of psychological issue to resent you THIS much. Seriously, the boy probably needed a therapist in his teen years.
Next time have a white child, I've never had that problem with my kids
Well looks like you're willingly forfeiting that cash. If you want that money back, you butch son must face the consequences for the choices he's made. Maybe if you didn't raise him to be a parasitic Nigger, you wouldn't be having to make this choice; but hindsight is 20/20...
can i fuck your wife?
he has friends that cruise around in big blue van. They're usually on miracle grass and now they're halfway to texas with my stacks.
He is a white boy with fine grades, except for being a lazy piece of shit, he showed know signs of wanting to steal my stacks. He always hung around with those damn van kids, but I assumed it was a nasty phase.
$600-800 is all you have in the house? Something is wrong with you trash man. Where do you vacation? The local park behind the school?
Haha, we have a clown in attendance here today. My son is white.
I didn't know black kids had dads...
Damn yeah that 700 dollars is gonna set you back. Your life savings!!
If you weren't so poor you could text his friends and offer them twice that to kick his ass and take his money. But you poor. Feels bad I bet.
That was all of the BONDELLO money. I have money at the bank, but there's a budget in this household for goofy extras and he's taken all of the money from the tin in the bondello.
tell him you gonna hve 50 niggas from the secret society Sup Forums come to his house and drink all his milk, sipe they shoes on his bedsheets, and beat the shit out of him.
OP, I once had the green like you, fat cash, fat cash indeed. I wish not of your son to be behind the bars. Your fat stacks, as impressive as they are; you should contact the coppers.
>contact coppers
>aquire green
>fat stacks aquired no son behind the bars
>the green
>'yes'
I am not a poor man. I have money IN THE BANK. But it's in my wife's name. My money is in the goodie tin in the bondello in my wife's drawer. Now those stacks have been taken by son and his STUPID FUCKING VAN FRIENDS
My sides are fucking gone now. I can't breathe.
the way you talk, it fucking kills me "BONDELLO money... goofy extras"
>DONT TALK TO ME OR MY WIFE'S MONEY AGAIN
Da fuq is a bondello. Stop making shit up you fucking retard.
>know signs of wanting to steal my stacks
What a fucking legend OP is
>black
that explains it
post pic of hand with timestamp, OP
I would go to a bank and trade all those 20s for 100s. Who would want to carry so much paper like that?
Sorry that your boy got your fat stacks
We'll see what wacky hijinks he gets into in the next episode
Are you an un educated idiot? you don't even know what one is.
I have white complexion.
the moment you let it falls on someone else's hands they ain't yours anymo get overit
Can you please say more things don't ever stop OP every time you reply it feels like christmas
The reasoning for the bills being in 20s and 100s is because they were accumilated from my mall job and i converted them to 100s (or tried at least) but they didn't have the big bills so I SETTLED for the 20 bills. Then later they had 100s.
SETTLED
Hahahahahahaha...hahaha. hahahahahahaha hahaha.
can't let your boy spend your fat green stacks! no bars involved can get goofy though. but things won't get as whacky as the things his van friends buy with your fat stacks from the BONDELLO money stashed in the goodie tin in your wife's drawer.
wtf is a bondello?
Someone screencap this masterpiece.
this thread is a dank form of autism that has my sides screaming for more
I hope OP finds his SON and secures the stacks. What would you do if your green was took?
Who was BONDELLO?
A bondello is a germanic sack that my wife keeps tucked up into her cloth drawer, it has draw strings and a print of a boar on it. She calls it that but I do not know what the professional "term" is for it.
> The wife and I kicked our son out for being a lazy little shit.
consider it severance for being shit parents. inb4 your kid did something bad. it is your job to raise a decent child. it's your fault if he didn't turn out that way. suck it up and move on, but judging from how you're treated him and reacted, you're not the type to do accept that you fucked up and let it go.
bro what fucking planet do you live on? your wife has a "cloth drawer" and you own a drawstring bag with a boar on it? whacky as fuck
I actually don't appreciate this of sarcasm. My son has made off with my green and they're known to smoke things. If they use the cash in my name, can I be framed? the police in my hometown are proving not to be any use. They can't catch him he's halfway to texas, making off with my big green cash.
your son's getting raped and had all the money he stole from you stolen from him.
good job user, you brought a worthless sack of shit into a world filled with psychopathic sacks of shit. then instead of teaching him how to defend himself and be a decent person
you kicked him out into the wild where he's going to be forced into the white male sex trade, forcedfed drugs, contract HIV, and end up back at your doorstep even more fucked up than before.
>year of our lord +2000
>still have children
people who do this should be castrated, how dare you force someone into a world overflowing with pain, misery and a million other awful things.
and for what?
what good is there to suffer cancer? what is soo good about this life that we should all accept this miserable slow painful decay till death?
NOTHING
did you keep it in the BONDELLO though? that seems to be an important factor
I did until my brown sons STUPID FUCKING VAN FRIENDS took my green.
personally, i think anyone who doesn't keep a secure BONDELLO should rightfully be in the bars...
>use the cash in my name
i fucking love this guy, im laughing so hard you made me have to go shit
please stick around
Tell them you need tree fiddy back
Is anyone here going to offer sincere AND helpful advice in the case of my stolen bucks? I know that sometimes it's funny to laugh at people who get it hard at life, but this IS NOT ONE OF THESE TIMES
MY dude, have ever eaten? This planet is overflowing with delicious food in almost every corner of the globe! That alone is reason to live!
MY SON IS NOT BROWN
WHAT
YES I KEPT IT THEREIN BUT HE STOLE IT right out from under my nose. Now the boy's making off with my green cash.
you will never see me or your bondello money again old man. mama says I could be anything I want so im moving to texas to be a rodeo clown. me and my van friends gon spend all dem fat stacks on cigarettes and booze you old fart sniffer. don't even think about calling da police or we gone burn all den fat stacks and yall never get that trip to North Carolina to meet dale earnhart.
I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard.
Thank you OP.
Stupid. haha funny but my son doesn
Whahahahahaha fucking shit
Have you not learned anything from this site? Trust no one, not even your own children. You should have money saved in a fucking cookie tin.
Bumping for the sheer absurdity of watching OP try to form a sentence.
>eat just to shit so i can make room for more eats to manufacture and produce more shits
no wonder i think so highly of humanity, they turn $100 steaks into shit magically over night.
Well, ain't that a pity, guess he had the last laugh.
Its a BONDELLO
I no I probably should not have trusted him because he hung out with such people (those are the VAN KIDS) but I thought "I have raised a nice young man and he should not steal money from his own parents FUCKING CLOWN
I don't know how you eat, but I get to taste the $100 steak on its way to turdification.
You should've seen this coming when you saw the color of his skin.
It's a tin inside of my wife's germanic bondello with an big print of a prized boar. It contained large stacks of my own earned cash from my mall job but here we are......shameful that kids can do that stuff to those who loved and prayed them the most especially i church
>a few seconds of stimulating tongue nerves to release a miniscule amount of endorphines is plenty good enough to cancel the hell that is cancer, cancer treatment, and the cancerous shitbags that surround us on a daily basis
yeah... no.
I'll give you double your green if you can produce an image of a fucking germanic bondello
Then an hero and shut the hell up. Unless your raison d'etre is bitching and moaning.
thank you for tonight's entertainment. I am very impressed yet pleasantly surprised
lol the way OP types is fucking hilarious. probs a bait thread. so sad
Did mommy take away minecraft privelages?
I would take a picture of the one in our conjoined bedroom but my wife is sleeping off the trauma of losing my earned stacks so for now here's one I found on a website. she recieved the bag from around christmas-time from aunt
Roll/ck em
We type the same stupid. I am not speaking some stupid lanuage and I don't appreciate that. I called the police and they're investigated all vans halfway to texas by now. When they catch my boy with my stacks I'll have him right where I want him to teach him how it feels to be stolen from he can't walk free right now. His van friends are going to jail by the way
What
bump
>can't fathom a reason for living besides the most basic of animal urgers
top kek, and yet you tell me to kill myself?
hahahaha pathetic
>they investigated all vans halfway to texas
absolute fucking legend OP
you are the master
If I lived in mommy's basement wasting away on Sup Forums also, I'd without a doubt share your logic
OP's going through a bad spell right now, and you two CLOWNS have the audacity to MOCK OP's stolen stacks by arguing. How would you faggots feel if your black son and his van people made off with your green and were HALF WAY to texas rn?
Ck'd
Did you emphasize how important it was that he stole from your wife's bondello? No man should ever steal another mans wifes bondello. Be sure to call them back if you didn't. It could be the difference in whether or not they catch your son and his miracle whip smoking van friends.
I don't know, hungry?
I've never laughed so hard in my life. Holy shit.
So let me get this straight, the fat stacks are gone? Taken, from the bondello?