From backstage, Colbert observes tonight's audience

>from backstage, Colbert observes tonight's audience
>niggers, Jews and fat liberals fill the seats
>nothing out of the ordinary
>Colbert smirks to himself, knowing he won't put in much effort tonight, he won't even have to tell actual jokes
>the entire studio is completely silent
>a Jew in the audience moans uncomfortably
>Colbert smirks and grabs the mic
>"so uhh..Donald trump this week, am I right?"
>the silence ends with an atomic blast of laughter from the audience
>niggers beat their chests and chant black lives matter
>several Jews pass out from all the excitement
>"I mean, this guy couldn't even manage a Burger King, much less the USA"
>the resulting tidal wave of laughter shakes the cameras and affects sound quality for the remainder of the episode
>the rest of the Jews faint from all the commotion
>the niggers run around and steal all their sheckles
>the liberals chant "black lives matter"
>Colbert removes his clothes and skins himself alive for being a straight, white male

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bump

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>Colbert walks on to the stage
>the audience politely tries to restrain their laugher
>*colbert clears throat*
>one audience member busts out laughing in anticipation
>Colbert winks at him
>"so uhh.. Have you heard about Trump this week?"
>the audience explodes in a cacophony of laughter so loud that it busts the microphones and ruins the sound quality for the remainder of the episode
>"I mean, the guy is orange! Like a cheeto!"
>along with ear-shattering roars of laugher, the audience begins ceremoniously throwing Cheetos everywhere
>*colbert strips naked and jacks off in front of the audience*

I've written several Colbert green texts

Yesyou have. And theyre all fantastic.

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What about that cuck John Oliver

It's current year amirite? lol Drumpf XD

>Colbert tries to make it to the studio
>his presence alone makes people remember the existance of Trump and all its implied comedy
>people collapse left and right from laughing too hard
>Colbert constantly stumples over corpses
>finally at the studio
>entirety of camera and makeup crew consists of particularly serious germans to even be able to withstand the permanent humor that emanates this man
>some still have to struggle to contain a smirk as he walks by
>they too know of Trump
>show starts
>Colbert moves very carefully to even make it into the studio without completely pulverizing the audience
>this is hard for him to do
>but it must be done
>who else could bear this burden
>the people must be taught about Trump - even if it should kill them
>inhales sharply
>first people in the audience from complete sudden cardiac arrest
>some people start to dance around extaticly
>some claw away at their chest and throat to escape the overwhelming sensation of absolute extasy
>their human lifes have lost all meaning to them - being in the presence of the divine
>"T..."
>the tension of the audience breaks and they all dance around like african tribal dancers
>their simple human minds can't comprehend this sensation
>they are beyond the point of no return by now
>they rip into each others bodies with their bare hands
>none of them feels any pain anymore
>half of the audience is dead before Colbert even finishes his sentence
>Colbert, looking at the carnage he has unleashed, sighs
>it was inevitable - he sais to himself
>they wanted humor and he gave it to them
>there is only one way to stop the agony of the people in the studio now
>"T-two s-s-scoops..." he says
>audience instantly combusts leaving behind only ash
>stern faced Germans clean up after the show
>Colbert pours himself a buorbon looking into the distance with a thousand-mile-stare

whole thread filled with newfags who haven't been here for 5 years let alone 5 months. just think, 5 years ago these faggot were still getting rides from mommy up to McDonald's to get their favorite chicken tenders.

stay made that Colbert and OIliver shit all over your beloved drumpf

Also stop being so mad about being virgins. girls will never like you because you think you deserve them.

every Trump supporter I've ever met has been at least slightly fat and a neckbeard. also a virgin

good for you guys

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i fuggin love these kek

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can we also not forget about bill nye please

Jesus Christ.

Remember when this dude actually had some balls?

I'll never forget laughing my ass off to his white house correspondence dinner speech, or to his absurdest politically incorrect jokes. The times he had people raid Wikipedia or even throw entire books into a hockey rink.

I still laugh my ass off at his audio books sometimes while I'm working. His assertions that gays, liberals, and universities are ruining America while satirical always held a biting bit of Truth in them.

Now he just cucks about on night time tv like the faggot he actually is.

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just to let you know this is one of the greatest greentexts I have had the honor of reading and you will make it in a ylyl thread my good man

That picture is so autistic

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that's when he was playing the character Colbert. now he is himself. which is a massive letdown

fucking kek

Where did you meet them? r/thedonald?

These threads are more stale than his monologues.

Instead of just choosing not to listen to someone harping on about something you don't want to hear over and over; you decide to harp on about it over and over.

Brilliant.

ITT: wannabe unfunny person who can't spell tries to mock successful comedian and fails

but wait there's more

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I for one laughed for the first time i can remember to a YLYL thread.

>mechanical drafting pencils

I know, I knew things were horribly terribly wrong during the last episode of the Colbert report when he had the fucking jewgirl Sarkesean talk about "online harassment". The thing he had literally been propigating during most the the Reports run...

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these are too good

more please sir

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aye

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Explain why "Nye is stupid and pretending to be smart" memes are any funnier/different/better than "trump is stupid and pretending to be smart" memes?

That's like saying explain to me why a pancake is different from an apple.
Stop saying dumb things.

these are so good dude

Jesus Christ you motherfucker

I'm shamed to admit, most of these are from FunnyJunk

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+

who cares every they are gold.
noice

That's like me asking why you prefer that pancake to this one and you tell me that it's an apple.

Wow I can deflect uncomfortable questions with shitty analogies too, truly we are both bigger smart than teh stoopid fail science man XD top kek

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not that good.

im not american so i dont give a shit who lies to you faggots in your jew controlled faggot tv

Oh, Jesus.
Pic related, dude.

you realize shit like this is why some people don't like us....

Then why are you here? Why are you wasting your time in a thread about something you dont understand or like? Just wondering.

to laugh

Its a joke? Why cant you guys relax. I dont understand why this is suddenly too far.

It doesnt seem like youre laughing.
>not that good

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um.....

yeah, this is not a joke. don't even play it like that. you wouldn't make a joke this absurdly bigoted without genuinely having these feelings.

I dislike liberals as much as the next guy. conservatives too, but this is ridiculous.

i wouldnt say to far. you niggers do get all triggered when liberals make their jokes about ya'll. you're both the same, bunch of stupid cucks following what others tell you to follow

best one yet lel

I did, a lot, but these few are a little boring.

bad b8 m8

>the audience is turning gender non-binary as he's doing that

best line

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nice

what do you refer to this type of pic you posted?
I know them as "smuggies"

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for some reason I can't think of what they're called right now but I like that better anyway

well i could go all night posting these but i'm afraid my alcohol is running low...

well you take care then user. it's been a pleasure =^]

originals were way better

>successful
pandering
it takes a very steady hand

How can anyone watch this clown?

samefag

kek

Doing gods work anons

>How can anyone watch this clown?
I dunno, I just like how he clowns around.

societal pyramid, my niggs
sell ads to the base
by telling them
they're not the base

The Kardashians are successful too. That doesn't mean they're good. Colbert report he was great in. Late show he's just a part of the pandering comedian crowd and they all just rehash the same shit because apparently Trump is literally the only thing in the news.

TWO SCOOPS?!?

He wasn't great in the Colbert report. He just played himself while pretending to be a conservative and called it a "character"

"I think the Iraq war is good, and poor people are bad because I'm a conservative!"

Oh wow, he's so funny and creative, what a great character he plays. CAN YOU BELIEVE HE'S ACTUALLY A LIBERAL, HE JUST PRETENDS TO BE A CONSERVATIVE?

one last - will go to bed now

DUDE
TRUMP
LMAO

he was certainly not a conservative in the Colbert report

I think that half the sewer workers should be women.

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Im a liberal. Im pretty much an abomination in terms of how liberal i am and what i give a fuck about within the scope of reasonable behavior of course. At no point whatsoever did i even consider chanting black lives matter. I dont get it. Is this that so called virtue signalling?

I mean, technically, in a detached, chaos theory, chain of events type of way, white people probably did contribute to the factors that led to that persons criminality. If you don't realize the systemic racism in america then you must be living under a rock.

Even as a caricature, as someone else said, even if was mocking conservatives, there was always a grain of truth that was also mocking liberals at the same time. And it was always done with different subjects.

Now it's just "Lol Trump is bad amirite? Please laugh at me" and when the audience actually has a mind of their own and claps at the Comey firing he gets pissy that they aren't agreeing with what he's trying to pedal.

I would say the view is exaggerated.
Like how all rednecks listen to russian country.

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Get your point. Kinda annoying. Not that funny(you). Subjectively didnt kek.

He did r3k Trump tho. Fuck the Drumpf thing but he did show the pathetic side of trump

He also tried to goad Trump into running because "lol! It will be funny!" and then half assed tried to apologize so that his ratings wouldn't go down. For the record, we don't need John Oliver to see the pathetic side of Trump, Trump does that well enough on his own.

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i'm pretty high and all but this is still 10/10

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i mean this one was clearly proven false and misleading. You can look it up. So that just makes the rest of these things really suspicious