What's the gayest thing you've ever done?

What's the gayest thing you've ever done?
Greentext time
>be me
>14
>super Christian parents
>they grounded me for 4 months when they caught me jacking off once
>don't want that to happen again
>go into family bathroom to masturbate
>turn on shower
>start watching my favorite video (also the one I was caught watching)
>fapping is going well
>about to nut
>realize I've been in shower for almost 20 minutes
>hear footsteps
>throw phone in cabinet thingy under sink
>leg starts shaking
>nut into my hand
>have to dispose of the evidence
>so what do I do? I eat it. Instead of washing it down the drain, I eat it.
>literally dive into shower just as bitch sister walks in
>sis sees me swan dive into shower, ripping up curtain and soaking myself with ice cold water
Long story short, not only did I eat my own nut, I got caught masturbating and grounded for six. Fucking. Months. Thanks, sis.

2/2
Four years later, none of my family members can look me in the eye.

Seems like you got shafted by your own luck, huh...

I got bust whacking it when I was 14 by my mom. They made me go to "therapy" every day after school with our dumb ass minister.

They also made me sleep in the same been as them till I was 17 after that. Most embarrassing period of my life.

Now my folks wonder why I won't visit them or tell them about my life.

>12 years old
>parents never get me privacy
>not even trying to jack off, just want to play games and read behind a closed door.
>"What are you doing in here user"
>"Why don't you spend time with the family"
>Fed up, get an idea
>Start taking extremely fast showers in the morning, but leave the water running for a few minutes
>I'd read a magazine, book or a bit of pokemon sitting on the closed toilet seat
>Do this for a month, it's awesome, even if it's just a few peaceful minutes.
>Get a Nintendo Power magazine, front cover was a game I was excited for. Fucking hype.
>Take it to the bathroom
>Quick minute shower
>Too excited to finish drying of my head so I lazily wrap it around my head like girls do sometimes.
>sit on the toilet, one leg crossed over the other as I read.
>So caught up in hype I forgot to lock the door.
>Dad, who has always been bad about knocking, quickly opens the bathroom door.
>Comes into a hot steaming bathroom, his naked son reading a magazine on the toilet, with his head towel, sitting in a pretty feminine position.
>All I can manage to say is "...Come here often?"
He didn't talk to me for the rest of the day.

Thing is, for pretty much all of my teenage years I jerked off from time to time, however never got caught by my parents or anybody.

I made sure to always use paper towel, when I used a plastic bag I made sure to clean it thoroughly and hide it, eventually wrapping it in paper towel and burying it in the bathroom trash can when it was full.

I always had a backup story thought out when someone might ask why I have clumped up bunches of paper towel for no reason, though never had to use them.

The more sexually provocative stuff I did when I was a horny 15 year old I made sure to do only when I had 1-2 hours home alone.

There was one time that I was almost caught jerking off by my dad, however my cock was under a desk and I popped it back into my pant sleeve and laid my arm over the bump within half a second.

By the time I was 12-13 years old and started masturbating (which I only started because I bothered looking up the word "fap" on Wikipedia, and realized I COULD pull my foreskin that far back), I was already used to subverting things from my parents.

I developed subversive tactics when I was less than 10 years old, as I learned how to sneak, slow and quiet down my breath, and move and think methodically and have a plan A, B and C for every outcome when I learned to steal back my electronics away from my parents when they took them away in the evening.

>11-13
>go to friend's house for a sleepover
>we play minecraft and eat junk food all day
>he pulls out an dvd player with a screen on it
>"I have porn. Wanna watch?"
>why not?
>watch chicks get fucked for a while
>he eventually pulls out lotion
>wat
>"let's jerk off, user."
>please no
>"Okay, sure."
>fuck
>elbow to elbow with friend, both of us jerking ourselves off underneath a blanket while we watch shitty porn on dvd
>didn't even cum

Neither of us have talked about it since the night it happened.

Same user here. New Story.

While I don't blame myself for this one because I was so young but it's still so painful. I wake up thinking about this one faint memory I have

>very young
>just started to get my first boners
>walking around my house early one morning, big ol tent proudly displayed.
>think I'm alone and sit on the couch and stare at it a bit
>over my boxers I start playing around and pull back my boner with my hand, letting go and watching it spring back into position.
>making "boing" sounds as I do so
>Turn my head to see my Dad staring at me from the other side of the room.

>Be me, 10 years old
>Only one with the internet around
>Parents at work, my mate comes to watch porn after school sometimes
>We wank in separate rooms where we can see the screen but not each other
>That one time you but
>That excitement
>Your friend envies you you've got sperm
:DD

*That one time you nut

Too many to mention. Also fapping alone or getting caught being a degenerate are not "gay"

That was fucking Sup Forums hilarious

> ...Come here often?

I hope you aren't a conservative then...I used to be until I realized so many of them have backwards thinking about so many human behaviors

For that id video tape myself ejaculating all over there kitchen table

OP here. I've got another story for y'all.
>be me
>8 or 9
>at a friend's house
>let's call him J
>we were about to go swimming
>his mom gives me his bathing suit and tells me to give it to him
>open his door and throw his bathing suit in
>accidentally see him naked
>he tells me to come in and show him "my peepee
>show him it
>for some reason he just wants us to hug
>dares me to lick his dick
>obviously say no
And that's about it for me. Remember, this is a "gayest shit you've ever done/awkward shite thread."

>be me
>5 years old
>have a brother
>we both live on a farm
>one day we see a baby goat sucking his mothers tits
>i get an idea
>my brother and I come up with an idea for a game called "baby goat," where one of us would be a baby goat and suck on the other's dick.
>we start playing
>dad walks in
>sees me sucking my brother's dick
>I say we're playing "baby goat,"
>dad says nothing and just walks away
I never realized how gay that was until years later

Bump.

fucking epic and top kek

Newfag here. The fuck is bumping? And how do I do it?

Its a sex thing. If you wanna know how to do it someone here will show you. Just post pic of your butt first

had sex with a teen boy

Bro I have been eating my cum since day 1

>me two days ago
>read that wanking feels better with "anal stimulation"
>idea.jpg
>go to shower normally
>lay down while rubbing my weewee
>its time
>look for lube, cant find any
>see bath and body works bottle, assume its lotion
>defnotlotion.mp4
>finger my anus with what i think is lotion
>feels good
>suddenly, gates of hell opens in my sphincter
>determination allows me to still dump my boi syrup
>jump out of shower soaking wet to the shitter
>release glittery, green apple fritter liquid
>go back into shower
>cry

Gross but kekworthy

Good stories, user. :^)

t o p k e k

participate in a dick r8 thread.

>be me
>be about 11 or 12 in middleschool
>found out how to fap
>take off clothes before a shower
>start pulling my foreskin
>feels good .avi
>start moaning cause it's a new thing I experienced
>Dad walks in, cause when I was younger I never locked the bathroom door... never
>Dad asks me if my Penis hurts
>I said yes, cause I didn't want to get in trouble
>Next day or so go to doctors office
>Doctor says I am fine and don't need a circumcision


>Months later was put into therapy for watching MLP cause my dad thought I was a flaming homo .

idk, the therapy did make me wonder how a dick would feel inside me cause my therapist kept asking if I like boys or girls, and it was okay to like boys.

My Parents would Kill me if I came out gay or even was a faggot.

pic related: only cause it was one of my first pics I took when I was in middle school of my mlp merch.

>tfw I don't browse /mlp/ anymore
>tfw I browse Sup Forums , /p/ . Mainly browse Sup Forums and /s4s/ for shit posting

...

Was having a bad day and this shit made me kek'd a lot. Thx user.

Replies in threads push it up to the first page. When you have nothing to contribute, but want to see me from people that do, you type "bump". The word itself has no power it's just a filler word since you don't have anything better to type.

Don't listen to: "Bumping" is when you find a post so funny that you do a "bump" of either cocaine or MDMA in tribute to the post.

In other words, you continue to do your regular drug routine that one would do when surfing the "world wide web", but dedicate a moment of it to a post. These posts, which become "bumped" are known as "salty", as they remind Sup Forums browsers of the salty taste of their drugs.

You'll get used to all these fancy new terms and more shortly.

Welcome to Fortune :^)

So is thread about homo stuff or dangerous fapping scares???

I got both, just not sure which green text to post.