This is why you should NEVER date online

This is why you should NEVER date online

bump you guys ALL need to see this shit fucking bitches out there man

bump

Trips do not lie
I feel for ya user

>goes on a date with a dark skinned lady
>date is going mostly well
>lady gets call, mishears the "hello"
>sneaks out in some paranoid delusion when the power cuts
>sees two fashion aware homosexuals when fleeing the premises
>makes a racist post about it on social media claiming he was almost mugged

YOU CAN BET YOUR ASS THE POLICE WOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING OR AT LEAST STARTED AN INVESTIGATION IF IT HAD BEEN A FEMALE IN THIS SITUATION BUT APPARENTLY IT IS NOT A CRIME TO PLAN AND SET UP A MURDER SCENE OF A MAN UNTIL HIS CORPSE IS FOUND

> live in london
> meet nigerian girl on dating website
> go to her house for netflix and chill
> we drink wine, she starts twerking to a tv music channel, she's good
> she gets in proximity of me, she's still dancing, she toys with brief physical contacts
> I start to lean into her when she does that
> we kiss
> its a small but full and sensual kiss
> she enjoys it
> we fuck like we need each other

see op sometimes it works out

except when they get pregnant accidentally, you pay for the aborition, then they ask you for £4000 'help' for their landlord and say if you don't pay it they'll phone the police and say you raped them and their flatmate will back it up because they're tight like that

then you call her bluff and she phones the police, you shit yourself (not literally, christ), ten minutes later there is a knock on the door and its her side-cock who happens to be black

you make your escape, and nod and say hi to the guy like there is nothing to be scared of or ashamed about

you leave and get on a flight for dubai the next morning, for two weeks, and never hear from either of them again

win

...

>41 years old, still a student
> appears to have home trainer but doesn't look like she's using it
> wants a relationship

why would you want to meet her?

Online dating story.
>be me
>talking to a girl for about 2 weeks
>eventually agree to meet up
>I tell her beforehand that I have never kissed anyone before
>she said that she promises she'll kiss me at least once
>I go to meet her up with the prospect of at least one kiss
>looks about 50 pounds heavier in real life than she does in her pictures
>she has a forehead like a ledge
> me being desperate I go to dinner with her at pizza hut
>she gets a large pizza all to herself
>wolfs it down in minutes
>I'm eating my medium margarita and wondering how I'll escape this situation
> "I need to go to the bathroom"
>go into the bathroom and see the window
>if I push out the glass I might be able to fit through
>guy comes in mid escape
>ohshit.png
>he asks what the fuck I'm doing
>I say that the glass fell out and I'm trying to get it back in
>he goes to get someone to help
>push the pane out quickly and climb out the window
>run back to my car and drive home
>forget I drove her there
>mfw
>next day
>she messages me asking me what the fuck happened
>I tell her things didn't work out
>she says she never wants to see me again
>can I still get that kiss?

>this
>he was about to be raped by a pair of fashion conscious homosexuals
Dude really dodged a "bullet"
Good catch, user!

The guy who made the facebook post is black, fucking moron

Oh fuck, thanks for sharing OP, gonna keep this in mind.

...

Oddly specific.

Fake

...

>cops couldn't do anything because a crime wasn't committed yet

and this is why you don't leave your personal safety up to cops. they aren't there to protect you, they are there to investigate the crime then have the EMS haul the body away

>get open carry set up
>open carry a 44 magnum on a date
>
>success

My Online Dating Story (I was 18).
>Be me
>Be playing vidya with friends
>Girl in game
>Hi girl
>Talk for months
>Sort of online secret dating
>5000 miles apart
>Meet up in London
>Best time of my life
>Work 8 months. Save pretty much every spare penny
>Meet up again in Costa Rica
>Best time of my life x2
>Break up
>End

>nigger walks up to you
>he spits out some nigger talk
>"hey white boy i see you with this pretty lady,mind if i take her'? he pushes you and grabs her ass
>you say "hey nigger what do you think of this"?
>Puch him in the belly and pull out your 44
>"say goodnight nigger"
>put 6 in his head

>0% match
sounds about right.

Thats hilarious

>41
>student
LEMME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE

this is why you smash and leave.

also always have a gun

I'll be 40 when I finish med school

>picture
>23
>0% match
Correct.

to applebees?

And I'll be 50 when I retire.

>retiring
enjoy an early grave

I don't plan on dying of age m8.
I'll off myself long before I become unable to replace my own diaper.

>age 41

>student

hmm.

>40
>no work experience
Is it worth it?

>not retiring
Enjoy the tax farm, I guess.