The Shit Saga

The Shit Saga
>8th grade
>8/10 girl jokingly asks me out
>Talk her into taking me to end of year dance
>She takes me
>We dance distantly
>Itssomething.jpg
>Dumps me
>Alright fine
>Bicycle to her house
>It's 4am
>Climb onto her roof
>Pull down pants
>Take a huge shit down her chimney
>Shit will decompose and infect the air in her house
>Leave
>Mfw
>Let me know if you want more Sup Forums

More please

Devious little shit. Moar.

>Freshman year
>7/10 flirts with me
>Fuckyes.jpg
>Admits it's a dare
>You fucked with the wrong guy bitch
>Find where she lives by cross referencing her photos on Instagram
>Got a match
>Act sick to avoid school that day
>Go to her house
>Find spare key under mat
>Find a security camera
>Dodge that shit Metal Gear Solid style
>Go into her bedroom
>Take a giant shit under her bed
>Leave
>Later learn she called the cops
>But i'm one step ahead
>Due to my Irritable Bowel Syndrome my shit decomposes so the police can't check for DNA
>Walk away with the most smug face
>Got more stories if you want /b?

Fucking more

This guy's superpower is to infest people with his instant-decomposing turds

>Softmore year
>Have essentially become vigilante
>Douchebags picking on Science Club
>Redneck assholes too
>Find the biggest offender
>Take a shit in his trucks engine block
>Fuck with his filtration system
>Now he will be breathing in my decomposing shit for weeks
>Cops are getting spooked
>Dad works at Police Department as IT
>IT group refers to my actions as Shatman
>Mfw
>Want some more Sup Forums
>Your enthusiasm makes me horny

More. The laughter is gonna be contagious!

>A month later
>More redneck assholes
>Guy has harassed my best friend at gym class
>Kicked me in the nuts when I stood up to him
>Use his Twitter posts to locate address
>Go to house
>He has a guard dog
>Ohshit.jpg
>Climb into house through roof
>It's the middle of the school day
>Nobody home
>Go to his bedroom
>He has a fucking couch in his bedroom
>Take a huge shit between the cushions
>Move couch outside
>Wearing masks, gloves, hat, etc to avoid leaving DNA
>Set couch on fire in back yard
>Drop another turd in his houses AC system
>Now when he gets home all he will smell is shit both inside and outside
>Leave
>Police department is getting super pissed
>Who is this Shatman
>Need more Sup Forums?

Give me everything you've got, Shatman!

Good OC.
Posting in epic bread lulz

nice dubs 22

Dump all your stories.

Moar nao!!!!!

nice try summerfag

Someone needa screencap all this

>Junior Year
>Shatman has become legend
>Police are getting extremely annoyed
>Start questioning people
>Ask me questions but let me go due to no evidence to prosecute me
>School has multiple officers on duty
>One police car is parked away from main campus at football field
>Nobody at football field
>Climb under police car
>Take shit and put it into tail pipe
>Leave a typed note that says "Don't fuck with me sincerely- Shatman
>Leave
>Later learn that shit in tailpipe caused police cars radiator to burst
>This led to the car reeking like decomposing diarrhea for days afterwards

Shatman, thank you. It feels like old Sup Forums with a thread like this.

moar!

>Police are getting desperate
>Multiple officers on campus
>One police car is parked away from main campus at football field
>Go to police car
>Nobody is there
>Release shit into police car tailpipe
>Leave typed note that says "Don't fuck with me sincerely- Shatman
>Leave
>Later learn that shit in tailpipe led to police cars radiator bursting
>Car now smells like shit for days
>That officer man, she'll now have a personal vendetta against Shatman

Did you ever get caught?

Sorry that was a repost
>That officer starts questioning us again
>IT group finds Sup Forums posts from me that brag about my past excursions
>Lay low for a while
>Two months before Junior year ends
>Prom
>Get date for Prom
>Asshole redneck starts hassling me about my 8/10 date
>Nobody threatens my girl
>Not to mention he has been harassing my clique of social outcasts
>Find out he works at roller skate rink
>Sneak into rink and hide until closed
>Go to his locker
>Take a huge shit in locker
>Mix shit with methanol
>Leave handtyped note
>I always go against that weak sincerely- Shatman
>Go home and play video games with the ultimate grin
>Police are getting desperate to capture Shatman
>He's wanted for public defecation, vandalism, and arson at this point

bump

This is rather good. I haven't read a high quality greentext story in a while.

>Go to prom with date
>Have a good time
>Serious relationship blossoms
>Get questioned by police
>Previous victim was smart enough to correlate some things
>Thinks I know Shatman
>Tell police I have no idea what the fuck he's talking about
>News gets around school that Shatman is working in conjunction with another student
>Oh this gonna be good
>Principal is getting annoyed
>Decide to get petty vengeance as principal has ultimate grudge against my alter ego
>Put tracking device under car
>Just like an episode of Breaking Bad
>Learn his address
>Drive to home
>Park two blocks away
>Keep watch on him
>He leaves house
>Go inside through basement window
>Shit in his home heater
>Leave handwritten note that says you gonna get fucked sincerely- Shatman
>At this point am especially cautious with my attacks
>Principal later quits his job so he no longer has to deal with Shatmans shit, both figuratively and literally

Moar plz shatman is the man

Shatman, our fucking hero.

Samefag as poopbandit?

samefag

Now for the grand finale Sup Forums
>Senior year
>Decide ultimate senior year prank
>Hate the entire high school faculty
>Eat as much as possible the next couple days
>Shit little nuggets into the engine block of 28 different faculty vehicles
>Almost 40,000 dollars in damage
>Police can't do a fucking thing about it
>Damage has already been done
>Three weeks later graduate
>Police know that someone in the graduating class is Shatman, but out of 350 graduating students they will never know
>Leave for college
>Still dating girl from prom
>Haven't donned the Shatman costume in almost 2 years
>But if one of these days if Dooty calls, I will get my shit together and seek vengeance on the normies
That's it for me Sup Forums have a good day

Thank you for your service shatman

This is like catfish man 2.0

This is just a remake of the pooping bandit.

Nice one OP
>Pic related

I knew i smelled bs

sounds way to much like the pooping bandit thread.