> Only child > Potty-training age > Adoptive mom kept wet-wipes in "my" bathroom and showed me how to use them > "Never flush these or you'll wreck the toilet, user" > Strict mom so afraid to disobey > Liked how they felt so always used them > Threw dirty ones in trash like she said to do > Got older and suddenly just TP around > She never mentioned toilet paper to me, only wet-wipes > Remembered mother's words and thought I had to throw away used shit paper just like with wet wipes > Always saw TP in trash cans at other peoples' houses so never questioned > Certainty of trash cans before shitting; otherwise I'd hold it > Took loads of shits this way at family members' houses, friend's houses, etc. > Realize now how many relatives and friends/families probably found my shit papers face-up in the trash can next time they went to poop and thought "wtf" > Never took public shits because the idea made me uncomfortable anyway > Emergency number 2 at church one Sunday when I was 9 > Walked in and spotted trash can near entrance > All systems are go > Diarrhea'd everywhere > Collected my 3 wads of very visibly shit-stained paper after finishing > Opened stall and rounded corner toward entrance/trash can > Noticed adult washing hands at sink to my left > actcasual.webm > Whistling quietly to self as I walked by > Whistling stops > Notice his eyes narrow on my shit stained paper through the corner of my eye; then widen into inquisitive look > He stares incredulously at me and even stops to glance back at me before leaving the bathroom > The greatest day of my life was when I was 11 years old and realized that flushing TP was not going to wreck the toilet > No longer carry used feces paper around in random bathrooms looking for trash cans
Leo Peterson
Kek
Cooper Phillips
lol
Jeremiah Moore
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Jaxson Foster
1000 keks. I did some pretty autistic shit as a kid too, you got nothing on me
Alexander Martinez
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Carson Carter
That's like the kind of shit you can't even admit to your friends OP
Jayden Collins
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Wyatt Rivera
i heard somalians do that because of a cultural thing
Luis Thomas
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Nathan Anderson
Was working as a receptionist at a busy office, but was having financial problems because I'd recently been evicted. As a result, I couldn't afford to do laundry at the laundromat and was washing my clothes in the sink with soap and water. I guess I wasn't doing a very good job because I got called into the supervisor's office and was told to go home and bathe because of repeated complaints that I stank.
The worst part was having to come back after going home and showering, knowing everyone knew the reason I'd been sent home.
Owen Lee
That makes me feel about 1% better. I can never go to that church again
Gabriel Kelly
Indians do this. Their underdeveloped loos can handle poo but not paper.
Bentley Gray
>back in highschool me and a good buddy decide to do shrooms >a few hours into the trip, its around midnight >we decide to smoke a couple bowls, grab our shitty jury-rigged soda can pipe and head to our usual nighttime spot, the public pool >always go into the far back, behind some plants >after we start smoking see some oldass lady walking up the ramp to the pools gate >we get noided and hide the weed stuff >she slowly goes around the pool and straight up to us >asks what we're doing >for whatever reason friend replies that we live here >she kinda stares at us for a second then says I'm just tryna smoke a bowl >she sits down next to us and we smoke weed and chat up this random bitch who mustve been at least 70 >immedietly after leaving almost die trying to drive to mcdonalds
Samuel Harris
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Justin Hernandez
Bump
Hudson King
i'm stoned rn & this is hilarious Post your funniest shit
Isaac Barnes
I get this feeling whenever I'm super high/catatonic as well, feels bad man
Anthony Jackson
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Jonathan Baker
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Joshua Butler
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Carson Watson
Reminds me of the Sup Forumstard who posted here about losing his job because he was doing a presentation on a projector and a Captcha popped up on the website he was using. He "niggerized" it without thinking right up on the screen in front of everyone.
Christopher Sanchez
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Josiah Nguyen
Damn man. That's tough.
Lucas Lee
> be me, 8 years old > camping in the desert > really need to poop > family brought pic related > jumped on loo and doing the poo > something pokes my butthole > stand up and look in the toilet > giant black and orange beetles are everywhere inside > didn't notice because I sat down so fast > scream my head off
And that's how I lost my anal virginity to a monstrous dung beetle
Adrian Barnes
samefag
Jeremiah Murphy
>> Only child >> Potty-training age >> Adoptive mom kept wet-wipes in "my" bathroom and showed me how to use them >> "Never flush these or you'll wreck the toilet, user" >> Strict mom so afraid to disobey >> Liked how they felt so always used them >> Threw dirty ones in trash like she said to do >> Got older and suddenly just TP around >> She never mentioned toilet paper to me, only wet-wipes >> Remembered mother's words and thought I had to throw away used shit paper just like with wet wipes >> Always saw TP in trash cans at other peoples' houses so never questioned >> Certainty of trash cans before shitting; otherwise I'd hold it >> Took loads of shits this way at family members' houses, friend's houses, etc. >> Realize now how many relatives and friends/families probably found my shit papers face-up in the trash can next time they went to poop and thought "wtf" >> Never took public shits because the idea made me uncomfortable anyway >> Emergency number 2 at church one Sunday when I was 9 >> Walked in and spotted trash can near entrance >> All systems are go >> Diarrhea'd everywhere >> Collected my 3 wads of very visibly shit-stained paper after finishing >> Opened stall and rounded corner toward entrance/trash can >> Noticed adult washing hands at sink to my left >> actcasual.webm >> Whistling quietly to self as I walked by >> Whistling stops >> Notice his eyes narrow on my shit stained paper through the corner of my eye; then widen into inquisitive look >> He stares incredulously at me and even stops to glance back at me before leaving the bathroom >> The greatest day of my life was when I was 11 years old and realized that flushing TP was not going to wreck the toilet >> No longer carry used feces paper around in random bathrooms looking for trash cans >sink adults were using was actually holy water for baptisms
Nolan Collins
I had similar but different TP problems
>Be me in middle school >Don't wipe my ass properly my whole life >Get by with some lucky poops that don't ruin my life, try to clean up as best as I can but I know I'm doing it wrong >I don't even get how to do it and there's always soooo much fucking shit to wipe from my ass >Miraculously, I'm a moderately popular kid in my middle school years hiding this terrible secret >My ass is always a muddy fucking mess after every shit and I have no idea why it's so bad >My technique was basically wiping a bit and then just stuffing my ass full of toilet paper hoping I didn't get skidmarks >This went on until I was like 13 >One day decide I'm retarded and I really need to learn how the fuck to actually wipe my ass >Problem is mostly fixed, no more stuffing ass with toilet paper after wiping
To this day I still get minor issues with it where I can wipe my ass for like 30 fucking minutes, bone dry, no brown on the paper, and later on I will STILL out of nowhere get skid marks. But it's pretty rare. Happens like once every 3 months now where it used to happen constantly.
Gavin Anderson
How does one "niggerize" a captcha?
Zachary Perry
Are you Andy Dwyer?
Henry Rodriguez
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Gavin Ortiz
>Get with first girlfriend in a while >Still a virgin >Have a major foot fetish >Girl is shy and has never been with someone >Immature and playful >As a joke she puts her foot in my face and tells me to smell it >I back away and she continues >Holding my cock between my thighs I avoid it again >She rams me down with her foot to my face >I take a sniff and instantly feel amazing >Nut in my boxers and my bulge is visible >She sees it and looks shocked >She's not bright about sexual things yet so has no idea what she did
I had to sit there and explain how feet for me horny and she had just made me bust in my boxers unintentionally the first time