What's the worst review in the history of Pitchfork.com?

What's the worst review in the history of Pitchfork.com?

Other urls found in this thread:

pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/9464-shine-on/
pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/5799-the-fragile/
pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/368-untilted/
pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/5798-things-falling-apart/
pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/4270-the-gap/
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Awful "prog" metal for post-grunge kids

>Album Of The Year leaves one feeling like waking up and finding last night's used condom -- sure, the ride was fun while it lasted, but what remains is just plain icky. And you definitely don't want it in your CD player.
2.4/10

Accurate
Introduce Yourself was FNM's magnum opus

what a confusing album name

Angel Dust is the only good faith no more album

They still haven't recognized Despacito as 10/10.

All their Mars Volta reviews, I still don't know what happened. Did Omar fuck the writers' wives or something

very wrong
angel dust is just patton's bungle retardation polluting a once great band

quads confirm

pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/9464-shine-on/

>read review
>it's very positive

Is there some sort of mistake with the rating?

Look at most of Pitchfork's reviews from that time. They loathed prog. Actually nearly killed the sort of prog renaissance that had been coming up.

do y'all stretch out your muscles and warm-up before being this wrong? or does it come naturally?

pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/5799-the-fragile/

This one

This is unironically the best P4K review. Every other one is just a shallow description of what you listen to using buzzwords

This

Ayo hol up
As shitty as """"""concept reviews"""""" general are, that Lateralus one is fuckng hilarious

That other guy is a retard but you're a bigger retard.

>implying any pitchfork writers would have a problem with someone fucking their wife

tool is boring as fuck

holy fuck that pissed me off
I had to stop reading after he mocked and questioned Trents authenticity
>still cunts

what did this retard mean by this?

Should've know this retard would respond in this way...

Malcolm Seymour III you fucking cretin

Absolute travesty

The definitive edition that dropped this year got an 8.7 btw.

Still Cunts

>Ryan slipped in next to me.
>He pulled a maroon jewelry box from his Member's Only.
>"I was going to wait to give this to you," he said.
>"Oh, I, thanks," I said.
>Inside the box sat a green lapel pin shaped like the number six laid over Poseidon's trident.
>"It's a service pin. It's jade," Ryan said.
>"Yeah, I get the joke. I just don't see why six years is an anniversary to celebrate," I said.
>"That's how long the Pixies were around. Besides, I wanted to ask you to write a new review," he said.
>"Ah, Jesus, man, I knew there was a catch," I sighed.

pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/368-untilted/

What is wrong with them?

this

pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/5798-things-falling-apart/

what is a drukq

You know how when you look at a picture of someone from years ago wearing something ridiculous and rocking a retarded haircut and you ask yourself how could they not know how fucking stupid they looked?
That's Pitchfork. Every second of every day. Everything they have ever sanctioned. That's Pitchfork.

they gave weezer a 10

quads confirm it to be 11/11

DES

pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/4270-the-gap/

They barely talk about the music
ruined tim kinsella's reputation as well

That album sucked m8

I know I'm going to get people saying lol Godspeed sucks anyway, but basically the only reason they panned UXO was because post-rock was going out of fashion at the time.

maybe, but it was going of fashion for a reason.

>pitchfork
>rating music
>best albums are always rap """music""""
>unironically top score rap
>on a music review website

this. yanqui uxo is a beautiful album that uses nothing but music and composition without out of context samples to create ambience

It was going out of fashion because of everyone in the genre getting incredibly same-y and copying lysf. UXO tried to take a different course to what they had done in LYSF and got shat on for being 'plodding'.
Just seems off to me that they were willing to give lysf a 9 and a glowing review and uxo a 5.6 and a review that shows enough contempt that makes you think that the author probably wanted to lower the score beyond that.

tmv

pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/368-untilted/

This has got to be the worst review by P4K ever, right?

hasn't been updated in a very long time

this one plus kid a, by the same terrible writer

what's wrong with the wop review

>I had never even seen a shooting star before. 25 years of rotations, passes through comets' paths, and travel, and to my memory I had never witnessed burning debris scratch across the night sky.
Kek, this opening is on par with The Life of Pablo's

/thread

>Frances the Mute gets 2.0
>Lil Wayne gets 8.7
They gave Deloused a horrible rating as well. They must hate TMV or something.

confused. What makes it so bad?

Agreed.

All of my rage

>I had never even seen a shooting star before.

This review read out like a nervous breakdown, it was pretty entertaining desu

>The experience and emotions tied to listening to Kid A are like witnessing the stillborn birth of a child while simultaneously having the opportunity to see her play in the afterlife on Imax. It's an album of sparking paradox. It's cacophonous yet tranquil, experimental yet familiar, foreign yet womb-like, spacious yet visceral, textured yet vaporous, awakening yet dreamlike, infinite yet 48 minutes. It will cleanse your brain of those little crustaceans of worries and inferior albums clinging inside the fold of your gray matter. The harrowing sounds hit from unseen angles and emanate with inhuman genesis. When the headphones peel off, and it occurs that six men (Nigel Godrich included) created this, it's clear that Radiohead must be the greatest band alive, if not the best since you know who. Breathing people made this record! And you can't wait to dive back in and try to prove that wrong over and over.

They just hate prog

imagine getting paid to write this

It's really obnoxious when the review doesn't reflect on the album, and essentially just criticizes the music and the artist themselves without giving reasonable points.