I've just shit myself, and I think it's diarrhea

I've just shit myself, and I think it's diarrhea.

I'm too afraid to get up from my seat in case it drips down my legs and onto the seat/floor.

What do I do?

take a shower before it dries

Where are you?

I can't, I'm too afraid to get up.

I'm currently sitting at a table at Starbucks.

cover your face and run

>shit yourself
>at Starbucks
Oh god user I'm so sorry.

Get out of there quick before people notices the smell is coming from you

What a shitty situation to be in

I can really feel it in my underwear now.

Sure, I might be able to run out of the Starbucks, but what about the rest of the trip home? I have to wait at a train station and take the train, then I've got to catch the bus then walk home.

Oh god, I'm so fucked.

Spill your coffee on your pants and say its just some coffee :) no worries

topkek

Go to toilet and do your best

>What do I do?
>first inclination is to post on social media.
This is why millennials are fucked.

...

>social media
try again faggot

im 43

Go to toilet, hang yourself with tp

Well what else am I going to do? Ask the girl sitting at the table next to me for advice on what to do because I've just shit myself?

Obviously not. I come here because it's anonymous and easy to post, and if I'm looking down at a laptop screen I can hide my nervousness.

Thanks for brightening up my shitty day OP, pure gold.

I would say fuck the train take an uber or call a taxi if you can, it would be faster

Pro tip, ask for a cold beverage, then do as if you dropped it mostly on your pants and all so it merges with the liquid shit, and then get out as if nothing happened

Run to the toilet, if you're luckyit won't leave your boxers, you might be able to clean up to an extent there eg empty as much shit as you can into the toilet and wipe off as much as possible. Then go to the nearest shop and get some clean clothes and buy them fast before anyone notices any stains. What colour of trousers have you got?

Sprint to the toilet, clean up, put soap in your underwear and call an uber OP.

No! that'll just water it down, it'll mix with the water and brown will drip everywhere

Get up. If shit runs down your leg or spills out, scream at the top of your lungs " SOMEBODY PUT SHIT IN MY PANTS!" then run out of there as fast as you can.

this

Taking a taxi or uber will cost me way too much money, and money that I don't even have, as the train ride is already ~40 minutes, not to mention the bus ride of ~20 minutes.

To everyone saying run to the toilet, this starbucks doesn't have one. It only has the counter at the back of the store, and 4 tables near the entrance. Stupid me decided to take the one nearest to the back of the store.

I'm wearing red chinos.

Do you know of any toilets nearby? like nearby shops or whatever?
Shoulda worn your brown trousers mate

>First day driving for uber
>First pick up of the day
>Observe guy waddling towards your car from Starbucks
>Opens the door and sits down with an audible squelch
>5 mins into the drive overwhelming smell of liquid man shit fills your car
>thisismylifenow.jpg

Not like watery beverage more like a smoothie or some shit, sorry i don't know the products that hey sell for i have never stepped in a starbucks

There's a McDonalds a block down, but I don't think I'd even be able to walk properly to it. I bet there's probably a shit stain on my chinos right now anyway, ugh fuck.

God's speed, OP.

Why did you shit yourself at Starbucks?
Like, how can one simply shit themselves in public?

Relevant captcha.

Do you have like a jacket you could tie round your waist that would cover it? even if you have to waddle you can't sit there forever and toilet is your best bet to try clean up a bit

Well, my town doesn't have a Starbucks so I'd have to go down to the city. And I wanted to visit H&M anyway so I thought I'd go to the city and get some Starbucks while working on a school essay.

I thought that it would just be a fart and decided to let it out, but I didn't expect what I got instead.

No, all I have is a white t-shirt.

>spill the rest of your drink on yourself
>ask the staff to use their toilet to clean yourself up
>????
>profit

Getcha some of these

Top Kek op, danger trump in Starbucks, strikes Brown gold, has no option but to glide across the cafe with shit flicking from his ankles, this has to be posted op, pictures with time stamp

call a friend and have them bring you some pants. you will owe a lot of beer for this large favor, but it can save you

Chocolate smoothie, fagbux worker reporting in.
Or mocha frapp.

Underrated/10

Please Op, for your Sup Forumsrothers.

Honestly, I work at a coffee stand and people have done this. Go to the bathroom, throw away your underwear, wipe out your pants the best you can and continue your day. We thow away shit'd pants on the monthly.

user I don't even know what this means.

2017-08-22, the day user shit himself.
Never forget.

>9601▶
> (OP)

Good luck though, cause that sucks!

if you change your diet to include more oats, this may be less frequent in the future. nonetheless, this is unfortunate.

>had this problem from a very young age
>doctors cannot explain it
>"severe bowel incontinence"
>akwardsmile.jpeg

>Breaking News: Masked man arrested today near Starbucks
>image of OP and his pants full of shit

>stand up
>push as hard as you can
>just let it all go, you shit, your shame, your self respect
>let out a full-blown howl as you do it, intimidates the weak
>calmly walk off while staring everyone in the eyes
>go home as if nothing happened

also, if you shit yourself all the way the pants will become brown and nobody will be able to tell.

Kek

What about the smell? He's obviously gonna smell like shit.

better get used to that seat and that smell because this is life now.

>>calmly walk off while staring everyone in the eyes
>staring everyone in the eyes

If you have to, tell everyone around you there is a bomb attached to your chest and if you get up it will go off.

They will all leave the building and you will be able to wait it out until it dries (around your ass).

Act confused when they talk about what you said.

Here's your answer OP buy two or three to make it more credible that you were clumsy and spilled it over yourself

as soon as you enter the train make a disgusted face and slowly back away from the closest person, just not too far that the smell will be linked to you.
now they're the ones who shat themselves. repeat this process when they leave until only you are left or you get home.

>not being a chad
see this is why you can't handle situations like these

smear yourself with the shit. if you're black they can't say you stink because it's racism.

Fuck my life, I'm still sitting here in the store and haven't moved. At least the girl next to me has left. I can start to smell the shit now...

Ugh, I know this is going to derail the thread horribly, but I'm genuinely Indian. Does that mean they can still be racist to me if I smell like shit?

Fuck haha

just move your butt side to side against the seat until it smears all over the inside of your underwear

quickly stand up without fear of dripping anymore and run home/vehicle

how do you shit yourself? how is it possible?
is it like.. you're not paying attention and then suddenly fuck shit myself again? sometimes when i have alot of poop i find that my body will poop for me. are you on drugs?

Jesus Dude.

I dont know what to say. You've gotta move. Get up.go to the server counter, grab a ton of napkins and walk out. (and never go back to this starbucks)

sometimes people fart and a shit comes out on accident dude

Force yourself to vomit and faint, so that someone will call an ambulance. Then the shit in your pants becomes a bit more understandable. Also, you can sue the starbucks for giving you a poisoned coffee so you can buy a new pair of chinos

Yeah like the other guy just said, I thought it was a fart and decided to let it out. Turns out it wasn't a fart. I didn't even feel like I had shit in my bowels, but it happened.

underrated

is there a lake near you? a fountain?

if you have napkins try to clean some of the shit out of your pants

Holy fucking shit i am rofling

I'm in the center of the city, I don't think so.

I don't think napkins will be enough.

next time:
put the poo in the loo

You need to create a distraction user, call someone you really trust and tell him to go there and make a scene, maybe complain about some made up shit, and when people get their attention caught on him/her you run, also ask her/him to bring clothes, then you repay him/her with sex

Op, your shit must be getting fuckin crusty by now.

dude just go to the mcdonalds by you and wash up i see bums showering all the time at the mcdonalds i go to

drain the shit from your pants into the seat when no ones looking, get up and get the fuck out of there

>I'm genuinely Indian
POO IN LOO RAJESH

Is it hot where you at? If so take off your shirt and bind it around your waist. Problem solved

I'm not anywhere near confident enough to do that, since I'm fat.

And it's not hot enough to take off my only shirt.

Put you hands in your pockets and twist your wrists so that you' got a seal. Then make a quick, yet casual stroll to the nearest bathroom.
Go!
Go now.
Act nonchalant

Suck it back up into your anus you gay pansy

could you stand is you clenched your ass really tight so no shit runs down your leg?

It's already in the underwear. I can literally feel it spread across my ass cheeks.

or is it just liquid, in that case your boned

damn

try this OP

OP, your probably starting to fucking reak, and the more you sit there on this thread, the less i believe you. Post a timestamp.

RIP op

Is this some fetish shit??? OP I hope someone beats your ass for this

I've been there before OP, I did it in my work office.

Tell the staff you have IBS or similar bowel problems, they'll let you use staff toilets.

Important to make them come to you don't go waddling up there. If you have a jacket tie it around your waiste.

Get to toilet and wipe your ass with the crotch of your boxers and dump them in the bin - they're no help to you anymore.

Full clean with toilet paper afterwards.

If you didnt clench your buttocks on first squirt and nightsoil has breached the boxers use warm soapy water on your chinos and dry inside out under hand dryer.

Get home (whilst enjoying the freedom of going commando)

Pants straight in the wash. Shower.

op do a livestream from your phone of your predicament
you would become an god

this

I hope a white nationalist gang beats more shit out of you

This might unite the right and the left

>I've just shit myself, and I think it's diarrhea.

pics or it never happened

where are you OP

Fuck no

Starbucks in the middle of London

Fuck my life, I think I'll have to go with this then.

gl and god speed

by fresh clothes change a in a bathroom asap

Take a shower and clean up good and spray something good on your clothes so you will smell good