Thankssssssssssssssss

>Thankssssssssssssssss

Why did the snake thank Harry here?

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the snake thanks him faggot

shit read OP wrong. the snake thanks him because harry let him outta the zoo. this is obvious

Because he set him free

this has always pissed me off since i was a kid watching these movies, parseltongue should be fucking useless because snakes are deaf. they cannot hear sounds. they can kind of feel the vibrations that sounds make in their lower jaw, but they can't actually differentiate noises. also they don't have eyelids so they can't exactly wink either. that fucks up pretty much the entire second movie, and some of the seventh and eighth if i remember right.

>in a world of wizards and magic i'm upset by inconsistencies in reptile biology

kill yourself.

Harry unknowingly used his powers to give him a reach around

>what is internal logic

look i'm able to suspend my disbelief enough to buy that toads can sing and animals have specific languages dedicated to them, that's fine, it's magic. but you could have picked an evil looking animal that wasn't fucking deaf. would the story really have changed if voldemort was like a vampire and harry could talk to bats? no, if anything it raises fewer questions on why voldemort couldn't just walk around whenever he wanted and slaughter every single wizard who could ever oppose him, he can't go out in sunlight. he also already looks like a vampire. hell, almost all of his scenes take place either in doors or at night, it would change almost nothing and satisfy my stupid ass autism.

Cause it's fuckin Nagini bitchhhhhhh

It slithered to Voldemort right after that you bitch as muggle *uzi sounds*

>the snake can wink and snakes can hear hissing
>this is too much for my suspension of disbelief
>FUCK IT, let's make voldemort a vampire

wew lad

He was a cuck snake

nagini was a reticulated python, that's a burmese python

>he posted this thread again

please stop

what's wrong with vampire voldemort conceptually?

He was disguised you idiot that's part of Voldemorts fucking soul you stupid shit.

Now reticulate this! *fires uzi into air*

Because the snake was grateful that Slytherin would now have a clear objective lead in points for the House Cup.

Its a magic snake

Theres your internal logic

>I don't know thing, let me justify it by being more obnoxious about it

but wouldn't that make all snakes magic if they can all understand the language made specifically for them

hearty kek

>I don't know my Harry potter lore

*Spins in a circle with arms outstretched firing dual uzis*

ITT: post better animals for voldemort
▶ a wolf/bear

Literally a wizard did it

Snake is a good conceptual fit, it's basically drawing on biblical heritage and setting Snakes up as evil, cunning, tempters, etc. But it's also a symbol of rebirth/healing and immortality which also represents Voldemort pretty well.

If we're looking for something of a similar nature then fox might be your best bet, plus then you could make Voldemort a fire wizard or something.

>got kicked out of the cinema halfway through Prisoner of Azkaban because qts were throwing popcorn at me
>haven't watched any Harry Potters since

Can you summarise the rest of the series for me?

>biblical heritage
yeah because if christians love one thing it's harry potter and it's respect for the bible

>not being able to understand the difference between christfags and literary allusion
>inb4 harry potter isn't literature

everything can be evaluated under the right framework.

i was just cracking wise

Why did he call it Niggerini? bit racist t.b.h.

The snake was gay

>they save sirius
>voldemort comes back to life in year 4, harry escapes narrowly from his clutches
>hermione bangs an international qudditch player
>year 5 everyone thinks harry is crazy until voldemort reveals himself at the end, dumby and voldy fight briefly. sirius dies.
>year 6 harry and dumby travel together and work on making voldy mortal. dumby is killed by snape
>year 7 harry, ron, and hermione weaken and eventually kill voldy with the help of other minor characters
>lupin dies, fred dies
>harry ends up fucking his best mates little sister

Actually, the sname was trying to help Harry by telling him how to easily defeat Voldemort. By using Tanks.

TANKSSSSSS!!!!

youtube.com/watch?v=U4d9KsTMA4E

Too bad OP and Harry are too retarded to understand this.

Thankssssssssssssssssssss

why did the snake point to the sign that said bred in captivity?

the snake couldn't understand english, it could hear harry because he was speaking parseltongue

Yep. Movie ruined by obscure technicality. Nothing autistic about that.

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Thankssssssssssssssss

Why did they cut the bit where the snake speaks Spanish? This was important lore.

What did he mean by this?

Actually snakes can hear and distinguish sounds, though how well is not known. The eyelid thing is right though.

Why is there a different word in parseltongue for "amigo" and "friend"?

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>crow
>raven
>pet horcrux harry potter naked on a leash

New meme?

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probably because its one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.