DAN!

DAN!

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youtube.com/watch?v=s0DhnnLafHc#t=4m27s
youtube.com/watch?v=H2wfK_L01tk
dailymotion.com/video/x4djmj2
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*walks away*

These are sex people, Lynn

I have two lexi

Give me a second series, you shit

youth hosteling with chris eubanks

Monkey tennis?

Dere's more to Ireland, dan dis.

A Partridge among the pigeons

IT WAS THE 70'S BUCKAROO

LADYBOYS

Michael, release the headmaster.

Would you like a lap dance?

DONT BE BLUE, PETER!

GLANG! GLANGA LANGA LANGA LANGA LANG!

GRAPHITE
WORK
SURFACE

don't rub your fanny on me

>Your little finger just touched it.

Smell my cheese!

YOU MOTHER

>Are you getting off here Alan? Or do you want to go all the way with me?

THIS IS CHEESE, I GOT CHEESE

Fuck i'd give her a good one

I got wood

Never gonna use 'em. Never gonna use 'em.

youtube.com/watch?v=s0DhnnLafHc#t=4m27s

Is there a complete list of everything in the Alan Partridge Extended Universe?

...

GARLIC BREAD

BANE!

Is KMKYWAP radio Alan best Alan?

>That episode where he hits the child

The security in this place is terrible - I booked the room under the name of the Real IRA. I'd better go and tell them it's really me

>Is he gonna get any petrol? No he's using the forecourt to turn around... he thinks he's Rod Stewart!

The audio book is great.

Jeremy Vine's is similar but without the fictional character or self awareness.

press play now

>mfw this pops in my head every time I get petrol

think I'll go read Simon Hefferrrrr.... on the veranderrrr

Don't sing Susan. It sounds baaaaaad

Mid Morning Matters is the best.

"Cornershop fizzy drinks - what part of 'Multipack not to be sold separately' do you not understand?"

Vine joins Newsnight.
>Everyone takes a turn hosting when Jeremy Paxman is off....Vine thinks he's being groomed to replace him. Does interviews saying so
>Everyone hates him and steal his coat hanger. He believes it's the stupid pleb cleaner so he replaces it with an expensive one. It's stolen.
>He's convinced homeself the reason for the hate is because he shares the first name with the main host and people can't like 2 of the same name.
>In the office there is a board with everyone's personal pictures. Vine carefully places a photo of his family next to Paxman's. He measures so it's not placed closer then the closest photo to Paxman's before he added his...otherwise he's worried people will take it down. The next day his photo is still there....every other photo has been moved into the corner furthest away from his.

Welcome to the places of my life is unbelievably good

youtube.com/watch?v=H2wfK_L01tk

as is Alan Partridge's Scissored Isle

dailymotion.com/video/x4djmj2

CHANCE TEKKA CHANCE TEKKA TEKKA CHANCE CHANCE

They do it on purpose Lynn!

Knowing M.E, Knowing You

never gonna use em

never gonna use em

...

I know a cracking owl sanctuary

it's alright, I was impersonating a madman

Right, I'll tell you an anecdote. In 1974 I was catching the London train from Crewe station. It was very crowded; I found myself in a last-minute rush for the one remaining seat beside a tall, good-looking man with collar-length hair, it was the seventies; buckaroo! I looked up and saw it was none other than Peter Purves, it was the height of his Blue Peter career. He said, "You jammy bastard" and quick as a flash, I replied, "Don't be blue, Peter!" Needless to say, I had the last laugh, now fuck off!

March 2006, and the council have proposed to extend city centre parking fees to beyond 7pm. Uproar. The councillors
hurtle through these corridors, the air thick with argument and counter-argument, hue and cry. Brouhaha. Some said, “It’s an essential revenue generator.” Others said “It’ll strangle trade!” The result… deadlock.

At that point, a rogue Lib-Dem proposed a compromise. “What if theatres were prepared to subsidise night-time parking, and those self same rates were suspended from Monday through Wednesday, resulting in a net gain for the city’s midweek economy?” “And a bloody, or at least irritable, clash could be averted.” (GRUNTS)

Gentlemen, do we have a deal? (SOUND OF CHEERING) Norwich awoke that morning to peace. But it’s incredible to think so few people know how close this city came to a blanket imposition of night-time parking fees. (CAMERA BLURS) Alright?

Alan: It’s a little known fact that had Hitler successfully invaded, he’d planned to make his victory speech from Norwich City Hall. It’s easy to see why. There’s a very imposing, brutal quality to the architecture that Hitler would have absolutely loved. (SIGHS) Well, it sends a chill down your spine, even factoring in the cold day. Just imagine. (RECORDING OF HITLER GIVING SPEECH IN GERMAN) (RECORDING OF CROWD CHEERING) Huh. Hmm. Hmm.

...