ITT times when we were alpha as fuck, I'll start
>be stroking neighbor's cat
>fucking bitch animal scratches me
>kick the little fucker
>run inside
>see neighbor later
>she tells me they had to have the cat euthanized
>thinks a car hit it
>lol fatality
>flawless victory
>alpha
>as
>fuck
>Be gay
>Fuck guy
Are you me?
>ITT shit that never happened, but I want people to think I'm a badass on the internet
>t. cat owner who's obviously pissed
>be me
>I'm taking my girlfriend to my friend's graduation party
>start drinking and play games
>girlfriend is drunk as hell already
>she starts to argue and yell at me for shit that happened months ago
>I told her to fuck off with the bullshit and just enjoy the party
>she goes apeshit and slaps me across the face
>I sit there in shock ready to choke her
>instead, I shed a tear and I just leave her ass at the party and go home
>alpha as fuck
I think sounds pretty realistic for Sup Forums
>be me
>be at party at end of high school
>11/10 qt3.14 staring at me across the room
>Approach, acting as if I don't even see her
>As I'm about to pass her, she grabs my arm
>She has red lipstick on, voluptuous breasts, and hourglass figure
>fucking hot af
>suddenly, need to poop really bad
>must have been the burritos earlier
>rush to bathroom without even saying bye, she looks confused
>give birth to a fucking poop baby
>it's stuck, we're gonna need a c section to get this one out
>fuck fuck fuck
>it's been 5 minutes, no sign of any poop coming out although I can feel it stuck in my gut
>leave bathroom and find cute girl
>she's with another guy
>run up, drop pants and drop the biggest fucking shit of my life on his feet
>marking my territory
>guy runs away, unable to handle the most alpha shit he's ever seen
>girl gets pregnant on the spot
>she fucks me sideways upside down and right side up
>alpha as fuck
>Be me
>11/10 qt3.14
What does a 11/10 look like?
Show pictures
The second time I was abducted; I fought the paralysis drug that they gave me enough to grab one of their wrists; nature helped me with it's power while I am love... I squeezed the fucker's wrist so hard that it has scars to this day from it. They blacked me out right after they had their comrade's arm teleport from out of my grip... I woke up; put back in my bed, in my house; a while later.
The cat scratched you
How is that a flawless victory you dunce
are you that fag who fucked their cat because Sup Forumstold them to?
You're drunk on worthless meme fame, consider suicide.
>in a lecture
>guy behind me keeps tapping his foot on the ground
>turn around and ask him to stop, firmly but politely, staring right at him
>he mean mugs me, like he wants to start something
>keep staring at him
>after a few seconds of this stare-down, he says okay and stops
>turn back around
>friend literally whispers "alpha as fuck"
Some people will say cringe or fake. It happened. And it felt nice, because I'm usually beta as fuck.
A 1.1
I hope you die a slow and painful death. If I ever see you, you can bet your ass you'd be euthanized.
>be me
>ride bike home from school
>in a curve crash together with an old lady on a bike
>her fault / she didn't brake
>yells at me that it is my fault
>checks her bike
>I almost cry
>She asks me to give her my address
>give her my address
>cry on the ride home
>alpha
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
...
nice copypasta there m8, can't fool me though.
>playing WoW
>really need to pee
>run to bathroom
>start peeing
>cropspray errywhere
>run back to computer
>mom goes in bathroom
>shouts at me for peeing on floor, tells me to wipe it up
>I say no I'm busy
>bitch
>she mops up my pee
>I'm a level 72 druid
>I got epic items
>alpha as fuck
>be you
>be bragging to /b about some dumb shit
>thinks hes super cool
>clearly an edgy loser needs a life
>Fuck little sister (26) ikr?
>ff 1 year
>Fuck old sister (31) in front of little sister
Not alpha at all.
...
Nice meme m8, you got me good.
>Be in 5th grade
>Mixed class with 6th graders
>Wait for school to end, can't go home sick again, need to shit
>Lunch time for older kids, half way thru.. fuck
>REALLY NEED TO SHIT, stomach hurts
>Wait 15 minutes hoping older kids fuck off back to class
>Time is merciless
>Raise hand, ask to go to office, I feel sick
>Intend to call home, and ask for emergency evacuation, cuz "I'm sick mom plz plz plz"
>B-LINE to bathroom, not gonna make it to office
>power walking clinching my ass cheeks starting to cry
>make it to bathroom
>shit of floor 3 feet from stall
>Fuck it, clean bathroom toilet with TP fast, fuck toilet seat, there's piss on it. Luckily janitor just replaced pissy TP
>shit down my leg
>Cry
>shit while whiping shit off my leg
>Hear kids.. OH FUCK
>Ass hole kids, older kids. In prison for robbery and murder now kinda kids.
>see shit on floor and hoop and holler
>Shit is off my leg mostly, shit is off my hand from wiping shit.
>Kids kick in my stall and start screaming and laughing WHAT THE FUCK DURR, HUR HUR HUR
>Get up, pull up pants wash hands and pretend its not my shit on the floor in a big sloppy joes mess pile
>walk to class room passed kids who just stay there to marvel the stink nasty shit pile
>yard duty near by to sort them out, and call in janitor, because everyone in hall knows there's shit on the floor now
>tell her its gross/ proceed to office to call home
>Get the ride out too late
>Go back to class room for my stuff, open door and ask some random kids to please get my stuff, I'm sick
>Everyone asks why. I remain adamant that I'm just sick.
>Jock kid complies, and nicely hands me my stuff, but smells the shit and gives me a look of passive assumption about smell, doesn't say anything
>Go home, finish my shit, shower and play video games.
ALPHA AS FUCK
Not a single alpha moment here, OP thinks killing a cat is alpha? Fuck you piss stain, spend a week in my shoes
You will pay the karma for the cat btw fucknut
>phone up nigger church from payphone
>hello, pentecostal church of
>NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER
>slam phone down
>run off before FBI trace the call
>alpha as fuck and a half
...
That's actually kinda gay, and pussy of you.
Now that I think about it this might be something that would work every time considering
>be me
>have 100 dollar bill
>go in subway
>meant to ask ahead if cashier could break a hundred
>forget because long day and blazed
>did the 6 dollar deal on a Wednesday
>thatovenroastedchicken.jpeg
>get some cheddar on that shot
>green bell peppers
>red onions
>mayonnaise
>creamy Sriracha
>finish with lettuce
>whole time this guy making it is clearly satisfied with my selections
>ask for 3 cookies
>get to the register
>"can you break a hundred? "
>"no I'm sorry we don't accept hundred dollar bills"
>literally only bill I have
>"shit my bad dude I meant to ask you before all this shit"
>sadness on his face with disappointment
>"here you go'
>"shit dude seriously?"
>"yep don't forget your drink"
>walked behind the wall or whatever
>mfw I got a free subway deal
This happened yesterday
>Be pepsi merchandiser, last stop of the day at local walmart
>trying to get done soon so i can go home and fap
>load tons of product onto employee cart
>tetris skill-half jenga skills to use most out of trips/cart space
>put procudt on shelf, my empty boxes and plastic not as strategiclly on cart as they empty
>second to last stop on the isle, my boxes are empty, plastic everywhere
>unstable.jpg
>i now slowly and carefully move my cart to last stop, one last box full of mt dew (pepsi owns mt dew)
>coke merchandiser pulls up and begins to stock
>small conversations back and fourth
>dude bro, check out that goddess dpwn the isle, he whispers
>9/10 beauty shopping, comming towards us
>coke swoops in, and talks to milf
>you rat bastard
>i begin to finish my product putting it on shelf really fast
>in my trace like work state/distraction of sexy bitch, i fail to notice she has a small child, maybe 3 year old lil girl
>she walks towards my cart, right behind me
Oh shit
>with good intentions i move my cart slightly out of her way, dont want her getting to close
>coke talking to mom still, hes giving me a sly look, her moms ass is to me
>inertia of cart movement from me makes boxes fall of lil girl
Fuck me...
>"sorry, omg are you ok?"
>coke guy holding back laughter
>me about to shit myself
>lil girl scared, piled full of boxes
>mother looks at the scene
"BRITTNEY DONT BE TOUCHING SHIT OMG WHAT DID I SAY"
>Coke bros face frozen,
>me frozen
>mom pulls lil girl by arm, pacing out of the crime sence
>me , coke "wtf"
We hear a smack from isles down "brittney!!!"
>MFW i let a baby take the fall for me
>be me getting stroked off by some faggot
>get's a little to handsy with me so I scratch the bitch
>little fucker kicks me and runs away
>go to hospital
>free trip to cat heaven
>fuck bitches all day and get high on that sweat sweat nip
>alpha
>as
>fuck
Shit bait
>be me
>have a qt3.14 gf
>walking down the street in the middle of the night, semi-drunk
>see this one guy, who I later found out to be a thug
>he walked past us and pinched my girl on the ass
>suddenly, 56 thugs emerged from the shadows
>i know there were 56 because of my sharingan
>they surround us and hold me back
>the leader starts to unbutton her shirt
>hes standing on my rollex
>notonmywatch.jpg
>freeze time and use my shinobi skills
>kachaa
>take out the dudes holding me
>teleport behind the leader
>"nothing personnel, kid"
>instakill
>throw my fedora at the others
>decapitates them all
>so much blood it looks like red rain
>take off my naruto headband
>makeout with my girl
>ram that pussy on the dead corpse with my 10 foot donkey dick
>alpha
>as
>fuck
>inb4 didn't happen