ITT: We nerf each others' superpowers

ITT: We nerf each others' superpowers

>Can use any object I'm holding as a deadly weapon with expert-level proficiency in wielding it

You have no arms.

Only on on a blue moon with a turnip up your ass

But only while a 16 inch vibrating horse dildo is being rammed in your ass.

/thread

Can only grasp fruits all other objects phase through you

The power to create infinite amounts of haggis

-all your haggis materializes from the water in your own body.

>I can heal or curse anyone to any degree by thought

>I have pinpoint deadly accuracy when firing guns from the hip

But only when you have sex with a woodwind plank

You need to wear a combination of clothing to produce different curses

You are equally affected by curses and being healed in a non injured area will lead to explosive cellular regeneration

Any gun you come into contact with breaks and cannot be repaired

Anything over a 22 will shatter your bones when fired

Ability to command anyone to do what I tell them

All the powers of the monster from "The Thing" and I can speak French

You're a fictional character in a shitty French horror flick that noone knows exists

No one listens to you to hear your commands

But you have autism

I can see and comprehend reality in four dimensions, making me aware of all things from all angles

I can actually kill your mom if you don"t reply this

A shape shifting immortal sorcerer.

Never said they had to

Only works when watching gay pron

But you cant see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch.

>Can control time at will, forward or backwards. Can stop time for short periods of time.

You are blind

But if I reply then your entire family dies

You are forced to shapeshift into the smallest being you can see, and you can only get smaller.

but you can only hit yourself

But only when you're taking a shit.

Time is only stopped for you; everyone else goes normal speed.

Only works on kittens

Nerf: my moms already dead and I'm having sex with yours
>tfw comprehending gay porn in 4D

who must consume the farts of fat girls to keep from turning to stone

You are literally explosive, anytime you heal you instantly explode again.

I am persuasive enough to convince anyone of anything.

You know nothing but the intricacies of Canadian politics.

But you are mute and cannot speak.

I am able to change genders at will

Ability to teleport to anywhere on the Earth's surface, destination is not random

I can dance
With no legs or arms

>Your skill is directly inversely proportional to your general intelligence. The harder the weapon is to use the generally dumber you get, holding a meteor hammer would render you entirely retarded.

But you entirely lack the capacity to kill

But for every command you give you are forced by cosmic law to repay them

You can't change back

...

You cannot, however, percieve space three dimensionally as we do and are thus entirely unable to relate to the rest of humanity

You are mute

but you have blue fur all over your body

>Your skill is directly inversely proportional to your general intelligence
Damn nice one

But you can't dance well

You can do it only once in a 60 years. I. I can confince any gril to let me fuck her.

But you have to post about it on tumblr every time

Only if she's above the age of 90

Works for me I win

You are not an individual but a collection of autonomous cells which have no desire to exist as a single entity: your free thought is non-existent.

Also you would speak french which is like a nightmare.

>I have the power of ultimate blackmail, the moment I meet a person I instantly know their darkest secret and the method to hold it over them

>I am persuasive enough to convince anyone of anything.

You are a vegetable incapable of expressing yourself or your desires.

>can make your waifu real
you won"t nerf this

>But if you use it your mother will die in her sleep if you don't reply to this post

Your dick dissolves within a single foot radius of any female.

But every time you change you get a deadly disease

Noone will believe a word you say

Only woks on girls with poor personal hygiene.

I don't need to, your waifu's already shit

You are forever lonely and desperately try to get attention on Mongolian fan art forums.

I have shitting dick nipples.

I can remotely cause explosions to occur up to 10km away

>can camoflauge my fascism by calling my after school club antifa.

I didn't say who is my waifu lol
Also can make everybody waifu real not only my

See

That's less of a nerf and more of a total negation though.

I personally thought: >But everyone knows about that power

With a yield limit of about a handful of popper fireworks

Explosions consist entirely of semen

But since all waifus are shit by default, your waifu must therefore also be shit.

But milk comes out your ass

Your last word gets nerfed into the ground bc bungie is a activision slave and don't know how to develop a good game anymore.

>The power to create infinite amounts of haggis
You're Muslim

Not a nerf if it's already canon.

Density control. I can control the "togetherness" of my molecules. I could punch and my fistgoes flying and hits an enemy's face but then my fist becomes like air and goes into their lungs, and from there I make my fist together again to strangle them from the inside. Or someone stabs me but I loosen that spot so the blade goes right through.

But you prolapse your colon every time you warp.
I cant die or get diseases do to instant healing and regeneration of body parts

I'm cool with this. I can still make anyone shit themselves from a mile away

>People become my slaves, and do my every bidding within when 30 feet radius around me

Now that's using your powers correctly. Godspeed user.

But user, your after school club IS antifa

ok but who is your waifu

Only if they have Downs

Only people with the power need to reply, and only if they use it. Calm yourself.

You can't command them to have sex or do sexual things

These moves deeply slice the area your using. You punch someone eight feet away, you get a deep ass lasceration in your knuckles, but your targets dead

So did I, but then it only gives user a reputation of being someone you don't fuck with if you don't want your secrets leaked. There are still some advantages to having everyone automatically assume you're lying though

Has to be a nuclear explosion that destroys everything in a 10 km radius.

However, every time you harden up you irreversibly and disproportionally erode the weak force holding everything together, eventually atoms are less and less capable of sustaining themselves. All your actions directly contribute to the total obliteration of the universe.

I can work with this

I have a gf

But she fucks and sucks everyone but you

I can shapeshift into any creature with a "realistic form" so shit like dragons isnt out of the picture

All energy they expend during this time comes from your own body.

>I can jump into any television show thats on

Hm, good point. I figured it' mostly just make everyone ostracize and avoid you. Even people wanting to use you would know you can destroy them.

Your original proposition is actually not that bad in hindsight; I could still use my power if I could use my smarts to manipulate people covertly into drawing the right conclusions themselves.

You have a 1/2 chance of randomly turning into an ant.

I... can rape kids legally?

That show immediately gets massive attention leading to it warping into a sjw-pleasing general-audience-fest

Your shapeshift forms look really lame. Like a pink dragon with tiny wings (they still work).

Children have sharp bladed assholes until age 18