I can lift a full-grown horse above my head, and I can hold my breath for ten minutes. To settle a wager...

I can lift a full-grown horse above my head, and I can hold my breath for ten minutes. To settle a wager, I once ate a pound of P.B. Fouke's strongest badger poison and then ran a mile in the nude. I cannot feel pain, and I can see for two miles unaided by a lens. No man can kill me. I have beaten a man of every race in formal combat, including a Turk, a Pygmy Negro man and a rare Deepwater Jew. A medical doctor and two priests have written and signed a document confirming that I have no soul.

I can see into the past and the future at the same time. I am frequently asking "What just happened?"

I can do two things simultaneously that most people do individually. Like peeing and sleeping.

please stop posting the same shit over and over, honestly user don't you feel the least bit pathetic?
i bet you have an entire folder of pasta saved and you feel like you fit in.

jump off a tall building.

I can look directly at a camera with both eyes

I can jump off a tall building and come back on top of it

I would cut off my own dick just to fuck myself in the ass. That's how sweet that ass is.

I'd feel really bad about it later but, yes, yes I would.

want a better pic?

I have been both the poorest and the richest man on the earth, without knowing the latter.

all of us user.

I have reunited with both my wife and sister simultaneously, while being the sole attendant of a funeral.

...

Godspeak willwardly unto theeth.
I ingested 12 ounces of spicy chicken sauce through my penile meatus.

For whom the bell tolls twice.
I feel have the highest status among all of my male peers, but have never put my peen in a vagoo.

no one ever told you this.

in life, try less. or never try at all.

Do not ask for whom the bell tolls, the bell tolls for thee

WHO CAN WITHSTAND SUCH ONSLAUGHT?
I HAVE CHORTTLED IN MY BREEMISH JOY, BUT HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH VORPAL BLADE UNCANNED!!?!

Ahh, novel and unique indeed, I hope to tell you of something which I bequest you to hold dear.
To beg you must bakchich, however once given no tachich backchics.

you fucked up.

Without replies on might surmise farwells and goodbyes but this to surprise behold with your eyes.
I have fished Himalayan glaciers using minnows, and have posted forum using "can atheists define god"

I have seen algorithms be modeled, and have queued them losing most of the rhythm.

>No man can kill me.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

I can cry and masturbate at the same time while telling a knock-knock joke.

Ha. I did all that with my dick

>I am trained in gorilla warfare
But not educated.

haha epic xD

Funny, I gots that as me ig bio. At least part of it

i have found my brouther
*my pc background

i just.....
i can't.
the f*cking racism here.
you people are ill
literally shaking right now.....
wow.....just. just wow. literally unbelievable.
ill never understand this......place.
it feels like
after the past 2 days i have been here it just seems to get worst and worst.....
blatant racism
child porn spam
anti semitism
holocaust denial
islamophobia
anti feminism
woman hating
misoginysm
homophobia
transphobia
genderfluidhobia
fat shaming
zoophilia
animal abuse
the list goes on and on.......
the n word literally hurled around like it was a casual insult......
are there even moderators to control this insane place??!!!
disgusting.....are you even "humans"? or just jaded pieces of SH*T??!!
i see why you people are callled the sewer of the internet..
you, people like you.... hate you! from the deepest part of my heart... i hate you more than I could hate anything else

fuck yeah imvu

Fresh off the boat, from reddit, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You got no reputation here, you got no name, you got jackshit here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on Sup Forums by saying stupid jokes that your little hugbox cuntsucking reddit friends would upboat. None of that here. You don't upboat. You don't downboat. This ain't reddit, kid. This is Sup Forums. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to imgur, you daily show watching son of a bitch. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet pop culture reaches. You can be anything here. Me ? heh, I'm a judge.. this place.... this place has a lot to offer... heh you'll see, kid . . . that is if you can handle it...

Anyone have the id heaven copypasta?

I shit you not, very likely on reddit.

...

>This is Sup Forums. We have REAL intellectual discussion

More monkey logic!

Fresh off the boat, from reddit, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You got no reputation here, you got no name, you got jackshit here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on Sup Forums by saying stupid jokes that your little hugbox cuntsucking reddit friends would upboat. None of that here. You don't upboat. You don't downboat. This ain't reddit, kid. This is Sup Forums. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to imgur, you daily show watching son of a bitch. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet pop culture reaches. You can be anything here. Me ? heh, I'm a judge.. this place.... this place has a lot to offer... heh you'll see, kid . . . that is if you can handle it...

Testify, brother - more copypasta!
Tears streaming down my face with laughter!!
Thanks user... That's priceless.

thanks man ill try

Kek