INTRODUCING...THE HUMAN SPIDER

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> My name is Human Centipede, you kike motherfucker!

Jesus Raimi

Raimiposting lol

what the fuck was his problem?

Lost a testicle in a knife fight, never been the same since.

Marvel has deepest lore.

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raimi's two spiderman movies where the only ok superhero movies ever made. Rest of them give me fucking shivers for being such a childish, pompous, retarded trash

I thought they were 'decent' back when they came out.

Looking back now at all the superhero trash since they are like masterpieces of the genre

Literally one of the worst and fastest failed memes we've ever seen.
>>>/fmg/ - failed memes general

Why was literally everyone in that organization a piece of shit?

>"Nice outfit. Did your faggot boyfriend stop swallowing your cum long enough to make it for you?"

Did Raimi take the banter too far with this one?

Raimi > Webb, any fucking day.

tip

>"I now have you for one hundred and eighty (180) seconds, one hundred and eighty (180) seconds of time within which to play"

>BONEEESAAAAWWW ISS REAADDDYYYYYYYY TO SUCK THE DICK OF EVERY BLACK MAN IN THE AUDIENCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Wow.

Was he a draw?

BBOOOOOOONEEEEEESAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW ISSS REEEEEEEEDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

groundbreaking

Raimi wants realism in his movies.

Based Raimi redpilling everyone in the theatre.

Epic right?

why did that greedy kike think he could stiff spiderman that much money and get away with it?

>The Human Spider? Jesus christ, that's always as bad as piloting the plane straight into the twin towers yourself

Jesus christ Raimi...

>You want door fix, Man of Spiders? Yes, I know these things you do. I learn how to find many secrets in old country. You will not pay rent? This is fair. We will take rent in other ways. When I was in old country, in Bosnia, my friends and I...we do things to women. Terrible things, make them ugly women who will never be loved. Your friends, redhead girl and science girl...they will beg me to stop, as my men and I rain alternating blows of ejaculating and fists upon them. And when they are broken, Man of Spiders, when they are nothing more than shells...you will know that the rent has been paid.

It's surprising Raimi didn't direct a spin-off film of mr. Ditkovitch fighting Kebabs in the homeland.

never seen this before. if you just wrote this, well done user. I laughed a few times reading it.

>that 40 minutes sequence in east Europe revealing his dark past
was that really necessary to the plot?

Did he really say that? I need to rewatch it

>science girl

Who?

>Rodney Dangerfield will never fix your door

Thanks Raimi

God Spider-Man 1 and 2 were fantastic. I fucking love these films

>you will know the rent is paid...
>...for this month

>.. for this month.

I unironically believe that Dafoe's Green Goblin is the greatest iteration

10/10 costume
10/10 character
Literally perfect

Sure it's 10/10 until you realise you can see his mouth through the mask

you can also see darth vader's eyes through the mask in the original star wars

dafoe was best in existenz

The best Dafoe performance is unequivocally Bobby Peru from Wild at Heart

kek

YOU AND I ARE NOT SO DIFFERENT

wild at heart literally put me to sleep

Still his best performance. Existenz is a glorified Black Mirror episode.

kino
youtube.com/watch?v=A7MlFRMJNqU

>not donner's superman
>not burton's batman

>criticizing the story of a Cronenberg movie
>criticizing the story of any sci-fi movie
But yeah in Existenz he was just a cameo so you might be right.

I don't mean it in a bad way really. Ghost and Death Becomes Her are both Tales from the Crypt movies in a way. The thing that annoyed me about Existenz was Jude Law. His voice kept drifting between a not quite American accent and his native British. For me, Cronenberg lives and dies by his central performances. It's the same reason why I don't like Scanners and love Videodrome.

For me, Cronenberg is a flamboyant bisexual faggot who progressively works out more and more issues the later you go into his career. No wonder his actors aren't 100% with the script.

>"YOU AND I ARE BROTHERS SPIDERMAN."
>"IF WE'RE BROTHERS, IT'S NOT GAY."

>that scene where Spider-Man tries to save people from the Twin Towers on 9/11 and has to assure them that he'll come back for them even though he knows he won't be able to save them all
>that shot where he watches the towers collapse and screams "FUCKING SANDNIGGERS I'LL PERSONALLY KILL EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!" from the top of his lungs
It was a different time

>FUCKING SANDNIGGERS I'LL PERSONALLY KILL EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!
YOU ARE ANIMALS! AND I WILL SLAUGHTER YOU LIKE ANIMALS!

>that scene where they show Peters erect dick shooting web in slo-mo

I get why Raimi did it 5 minutes was a bit too long.

>That scene after getting the black suit, where he starts reading the koran

I thought it was a bit on the nose.

>Change?
>Yep, big change!

when Peter saw that JJJ and the journalistic cabal reported that Building 7 collapsed before it was even on fire, I thought he was gonna kill them all then and there

>Masked vigilante 'spiderman' swinging around the city
>Able to stick to walls and shoot web
>Remember back when you saw an unforgettable wrestling match
>Man dressed as spider clobbers bonesaw into dust
>Go back to the arena
>Ask for list of names performed on that night

Did nobody want to kkow the identity of spiderman?

he was registered as the 'human spider'
the ones who saw the match where he was announced as 'spiderman' got gassed

STANDING HERE

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I miss when we actually talked about these movies instead of just memeing.

I realize?

>Rest of them give me fucking shivers for being such a childish, pompous, retarded trash

Funny, since that's exactly what Raimi's movies were like

>911

Jesus Raimi, you didn't need pete raping Mary Jane to excuse him not stopping the planes!

>the human spider? oh, thats fucking gay

was this line really appropriate for a movie targeted at kids?

>That scene after he gets the black suit and attempts autoerotic asphyxiation with his webs and almost dies

Did he really say that?

Yeah, dude.

vocaroo.com/i/s1Y5Z7rqqWL9

youtube.com/watch?v=06mf-XRjCDM

In hindsight, the director's cut had a fairly different tone than the version I saw at the theater.

Fucking lol

JESUS, RAIMI

>my sides
That was hardest i ever laughed at a 9/11 joke

Only in the television version
DVD version is much more offensive

I still don't understand why Spider-Man was throwing those people out from the towers.

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it wasn't even funny though

>IMPRESSIVE... for a nigger!

wtf?

How come nobody picked up on the fact that Human Spider = Spiderman when Spiderman later got famous? Peter even showed his face and name to the organizers/recruiters of the match, so they would've known he was Spiderman later on.

t. pleb

>The only way you're a human spider is because you like jerking off eight guys at a time.
To Raimi's defense, I'm pretty sure this was ad libbed.

I love this meme

The bit where he boarded up the doors in Jewish houses before his brothers set them alight was fantastic, m8.

Now you truly get why he's averse to fixing doors

>I miss the part where that's my fuckin' problem bitch.

well done user

>Man of Spiders
kek

lel you can see the camera in his eye

>"He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster.
And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee..."
>Seems like I've finally become what I sought to destroy...
>a nigger

>"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
wow what

He propably got paid a truckload of dosh for that role. He is a quality actor and avoids playing villain roles, because he doesn't want to get typecasted.

>That's a cute outfit. Did your husband make it for you you fucking faggot?

He stole it.

The best Defoe movie is Mr Beans summer holiday

Pretty much

glorious

>twin towers fall
>white text appears
>6 months later downtown NYPD HQ
>I waterboarded them, even the children
Had to hold my pokerface for the two arabs sitting in front of me at the theatre back then

- t. garfield bergensteinGoldenberg

megakek

glorious

>for this month

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Reminder that Dikovitch is in Transformers 3.

>Come here parker, we've gotta talk about the niggers
>They're parasites, left-leaning retardeds who only take and take while giving nothing back to this country
>my father was a firefighter and niggers killed him. You know why i hate niggers parker?
> Because my father was murdered doing his job! Putting out a fire in fucking Nigger neighborhood. He shouldn't be giving a shit about. He got shot by a fucking drug dealer who probably still collects a welfare check!
>so next time you see spiderman let him know ill give his 19.99 for every nigger scalp delivered to me

Raimi was a visionary, Kubrick and those hacks have nothing on him