Is conan the best fantasykino? Does anything besides fellowship come closE?

Is conan the best fantasykino? Does anything besides fellowship come closE?

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Conan is for Pussies, Rings is for Homos. Beastmaster is the purist kino fantasy flick there is.

go on

>mfw we will never see a sequel to Conan where Arnold goes around crushing the snakes of the earth.

beastmaster has only one good scene.

>deliberately omits Eragon
literally fatasy kino

what is kino about this cheap, lazy shit movie?

what was not?

the book was shit, the writer is one of the worst I've ever read. don't even wanna start with the film.

Bitches leave, best fantasty kino coming through.

What is the Empire Strikes Back?

One of the worst movies I have ever seen. I was fucking 12 and I wanted to leave the theater, that's how bad it was.

why is warwick davis in Time Bandits?

Excalibur is decidedly the best fantasy film

>that score
>the legend
>intricate costume and sets
>great actors
>dazzling grand scale battles
>legendary swords, holy grails, witch incest

It's got everything.

Hard for me to understand the people who consider this more of a failure. I mean, I understand. But it's so fucking awesome how could you not love this movie.

Come close? Fellowship of the Ring blows that silly B-movie shit out the fucking water.

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I actually quite enjoyed the books, although I've read them probably 10 years ago and it was the german translation.

Honestly I enjoyed 80s fantasy, even the bad ones.
>Conan
>Labyrinth
>Willow
>Legend
>Excalibur
>Krull
>Beastmaster
>Neverending story

all of it

Me too. I love the sets and costumes and all the shit they could pull off back then without CGI.

I've seen all those besides beastmaster.

Is the list of decent ones really this short lol?

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Actually there's more.

>Princess Bride
>The Dark Crystal
>Return to Oz
>Highlander


and there were quite a few barbarian movies made after conan too

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I always felt like LOTR is a good movie but shitty fantasy because it basically feels like a medieval adventure. Sure, you have weird lich assholes and magical old homos, but it doesn't feel fantastical. You can replace elves with asians and orcs with niggers, and The Ring with some religious icon, and have roughly the same story. It doesn't feel like its own world with its own rules from physics to societies.
Neverending Story or even Dark Crystal shits all over LOTR in that regard

Is Destroyer any good?

>You!?!?!

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user, WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE?

...

not really

To crush your enemies
See them driven before you
and hear the lamentation of their women

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Actual fantasy kino coming through.

youtu.be/EmTz7EAYLrs

What are some grade A 80s barbarian flicks? I haven't been able to find many in my travels and I desperately need to satiate my deep hunger for barbarism

God Tier
>Conan series

Mid Tier
>Red Sonja

Shit Tier
>Everything else

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>that Soundtrack
>all that symbolism
>that minimalist style of dialogue
>the constant foreshadowing
>the conclusion to the riddle of steel
>mfw people write it off as a dumb macho flick

Yeah, I was worried that would be the case

>King Conan: Crown of Iron begins filming
>Arnold is cast as old King Conan
>his Schwarzenegger sons are cast as the trueborn sons of King Conan
>neither are worthy for the crown
>one is fat and lazy
>the other is a filthy degenerate
>one day a warrior shows up at the gates of the city
>looks like Conan, fights like Conan
>its Arnold's mexican bastard cast as Conan's bastard
>the bastard who is more worthy than the trueborn sons
>plots and schemes abound as the trueborn sons try to get rid of the bastard
>Conan sees the same fire in the bastard he himself once possessed
>names the bastard his true heir

Its light hearted fun. Wilt Chamberlain plays a giant warrior who fights Conan. Andre the Giant plays a shaggoth Old God. The movie ends with Conan literally killing an Old God. It has it's moments.

>she will never be your queen and you her barbarian king

Fleet horse
The open step before you
The wind in your hair
Falcons at your wrist

>all that symbolism
>the growth and development to the riddle of the steel

everything about Conan the Barbarian is pure kino, but these most of all are the hallmarks

this is one of my gf's fav movies. Should I watch it?