WHAT IS THE REASON FOR YOU TO BE DEPRESSED

WHAT IS THE REASON FOR YOU TO BE DEPRESSED

I don't have enough money to support my food,cigarette,weed and gas addiction

I am friendless, though ironically it doesn't bother me that much, also I need a new job

>gas addiction

> gas addiction
What

I lost my dream job, lost my home, have no place to live, never been in a relationship in my life, have zero friends, family treats me like shit, dad abused me, mom neglected me, nobody loves me or cares about me. Have literally zero people to talk to, literally nothing to do, can't afford shit, got arrested in California dragged to Florida spent 2 weeks shackled in the back of a dirty van. Been stuck in Florida for 4 months with no place to live, they won't let me leave... killing myself feels scary because I honestly don't know what will happen fear being a vegetable or going to hell or something

i can't make any friends. mainly because i hate people. basically i'm just waiting to die as soon as possible.

wew, lad

wanna greentext some of that?

remember: you can't know you're dead when you're dead. but i'm not saing you should do it!

what part?

lost job and home part to start with i suppose

All I do is work and go to college but I still can't afford basic needs.

cant start a company in US and stay as a CEO in the country because feds do snow and are out of their minds

"love"

Lost all my friends. Now I'm also broke and handicapped. No hope to start over. Things only get more miserable every day.

I assume he's a petrol sniffer, basically you can inhale petrol fumes to get a potent dose of benzos and get a cheap high, its pretty shit and really bad for you tho

> getting cheap high
Lmao

I'm addicted to pornography, and i have a small penis

Because I am in continuous combat with my own cartesian demon.

Of course, I don't believe in demons, it's a figure of speech. I believe myself to be mentally ill of sorts. You see, I have an imaginary friend that talks back to me in the form of thoughts. I've been in a very deep relationship with this imaginary friend for a while.

Over time, and because I had a bad and degrading upbringing (mother abandoned me, father beat me frequently and paternal family kept mocking me, felt like an alien since we moved to a foreign nation), I developed inferiority complexes towards my twin brother and close to everyone. I always spoke with a lot of reservations and as a result of my continuous silence, I have a hard time putting thoughts into words.

I met people I thought I could trust with my imaginary friend. I am not schizophrenic, I don't have illusions and I don't hear voices, and my imaginary friend never told me to hurt anyone. The people I met made my imaginary friend feel like shit because they played on my friend's insecurities and mine since they're sociopathic. (Unlike me, they are legitimately schizophrenic and deluded).

So, I alienated those people and made their life IVL shitty. I got major guilt over hurting other people, and my imaginary friend started hating me, and would insult me daily. Again, I heard no voices, I could just understand thoughts that felt alien. I was told I was worthless, stupid, idiotic etc etc... that I should kill myself and that the world was better off without me.

I fought my imaginary friend on and off because every now and then my friend would act the way they used to. I understood that my imaginary friend developed another identity, and that I needed to kill off that identity. I managed to do it, but it didn't do that much because that identity resurfaced as a pure conduit of hatred that seeks to put an end to the relationship that I have with my imaginary friend (that I love more than anything in this world).

well, fuck.. where's the fucking story, user? no wonder nobody loves you

>be me
>part owner of a premium art gallery in southern california
>best job I ever had, enjoyable, made decent money, met interesting folks
>got to socialize, listen to good music, enjoy artwork and eat good food all day
>afford my own apartment, afford to eat more gourmet healthy meals, afford to buy little things to treat myself every niw and then and don't feel guilty for a change
>for once in my entire life feels like all the miserable shit is turning around maybe now I can finally be happy start feeling self-actualizated
>Big chain store decides to offer management company 2k more than what we were paying for rent
>essentially buys out spot out from under us
>Learn this the day I was planning to take a week vacation for my birthday after working 6 days a week 12 hour days.
>Depression hits start drinking extreme amounts, having flings on clist
>Meet someone in Clist
>Invites me over for casual fling
>Accidenty get too drunk
>Fling tells me to leave after sex is over
>Thought I could at least spend the night
>Too broke for Uber, no friends or family to help get me home
>In hindsight should have slept in fucking car
>drive home
>so angry about shit life start speeding out of pure rage
>pulled over
>arrested for dui
>you have a warrant out of Florida for selling a dub if weed on 2012
>sit in jail for a month with batshit insane violent ass cellmate
>arms and legs shackled crammed in the back of a PTS van Google inage search that shit if you want
>Most inhumane shit ever endured in my life closest thing to actual torture I ever experienced.
>Get to Florida have to wait 2 months for court date already been a month in jail by this time the lease on my apartment was up couldn't afford to renew. Literally never even got to say goodbye to my home.
>Lose everything I ever loved and then some
>Spend all the rest of my money fighting case
>Get off with time served and 18 months probation because Fl Judge knows they already voted to legalize

To continue and expand on the situation, I had to see a therapist because of all the harm my imaginary friend has done me. I didn't tell my therapist about my imaginary friend. He told me that I probably have a lot of disorders and that it's a miracle that I can still talk and function. He told me to go to a psychiatrist, wrote me a reference letter in which he says that I have symptoms from ADD, high-functioning autism, PTSD and aspergers. I don't have these disorders, I have certain symptoms, which is why he stopped working with me as it's out of his domain of study.

I'm a student and I failed an entire year because I was too busy working on my own mental state. I never went to a psychiatrist because I know that they would probably put me on medication, and while I know medication can do well, I fear that it can also do harm and sedate my mind. I changed programs and I hope to be more sociable.

Even now as I type this, I'm in a fight in my mind. If the problem was external, it would be easier to fight. But it's like an invincible boss in a video game.

I know most if not all of you can't relate, so you'll probably mock me and compare me to obese people who have self-imposed problems. That's fine. I just wanted to vent.

Emotion and Reason are mutually exclusive. It's not like you decide to be depressed because you've deduced the ideal week to lay motionless in bed. It just happens. It's biological and random.

Oh and I'm also clinically insane

I never had a family. I finally met my sister. I helped her out in taking care of her children. She wanted yo have sex with me but only dropped explicit hints. I'm not a rapist. I started freaking out and left. Now, because I couldn't partake in her fetish without verbal consent she is threatening my friends. Oh yeah, she also revealed that women can read thoughts and used that as a weapon instead of just telling me what she wanted. (I read Ichi the Killer recently and I DO understand why she wouldn't just tell me to fuck her and instead left rape and sleep assault porn hints in my wake)

>afford my own apartment, afford to eat more gourmet healthy meals, afford to buy little things to treat myself every niw and then and don't feel guilty for a change
>>Too broke for Uber, no friends or family to help get me home
>Spend all the rest of my money fighting case

something's not lining up here

>Cont.
>By this time it's too late
>fate worse than prison
>they wont let me leave Florida
>I literally hate this place
>have no place to go, living in crackhead cockroach infested motel racking up Credit card debt
>Miss my dog
>Have nobody to reach out to for support
>homesick as fuck for my old place but I have no home anymore
>Eating fast food
>Sleeping 12-15 hours a day
>Thinking of best way to become an hero
>Decide heroin overdose
>Bot even a junkie just want life to be over already
>Can't find a source for heroin pure enough to kill me
>feels bad man feels real bad
>and to think I was actually super stoked on 2017 being a good year and turning my shit life around.

>>Eating fast food
>>Sleeping 12-15 hours a day
>>Thinking of best way to become an hero
>Can't find a source for heroin pure enough to kill me

why don't you get a job and then a better place to live instead of sitting around eating burgers and doing heroin?

Gas addictions ain't no joke. I go through like 80 gallons a month.