Broke up with my GF of 3-and-a-half years just two weeks ago, and haven't told a single person...

Broke up with my GF of 3-and-a-half years just two weeks ago, and haven't told a single person. Every night I abuse substances to take away the pain, and I'm honestly on a downward spiral. Anyone have some advice or a kind word for a bro in pain? What else works to make it better?

>What else works to make it better?

Try a nice relaxing hot fudge enema

cheers bra, but might pass on ass-related stuff ;)

Exercise

Its the only thing that helped me over come my ex of 3 years.

Today I am a better person, with mental and physical gains while she's still fat full of unhealthy coping mechanisms.

What i have found helps a lot, is not being a bitchfaggot. Put on your big boy pants and go on with your trivial existence like all of us

This... Or you could hate fuck her sister. Either way man the fuck up.

You fuck another girl yet?

just try and get out of the house. you don't even have to go with anyone, get yourself coffee or go for a run.

nope, i've been wasted all night and waking up late. just been hanging with mates

i'm planning on being a buff nugget. good to hear it helped you

hmmm that sounds like a response from someone who's never made an emotional relationship for years, but not judging. i'll see if i can macho it out, but literally never been this bad before. all advice is welcome!

Gotta give it time, that's all. Don't expect to get over this anytime soon and just continue life. After a while this burden will be gone.

Been down that road twice, I could write for days what to do and what not to do, but bottom line it's simple: Think what you have lost, both the good and BAD things, figure out what you can gain and what are the pros now of being single, you're a man, fuck other girls, do wild shit, working out is great both physically and mentally. Set goals in life, work towards accomplishing them and make that bitch envy you and your life. Over time it always gets better, keep that in mind no matter what

went through this just over 2 years ago, i feel for you bro, it fucking sucks.

truth is time is the only thing that will help, so you need to distract yourself. read books and get smarter, this worked for me. Discover new interests and hobbies, grow into a better person than you were before
After i broke up with my gf of 3 years i realised how much free time i had, time i was essentially wasting with her before. Sure, we fucked, but most of the time we sat about watching tv and cuddling.
After we broke up i utilised my new time and learned how to program, the internet makes it so easy. 3 books on C and 1 python, there are MIT and harvard lectures on youtube, millions of books you can download as pdf, free IDE's and compilers to practice on.
Get smarter my friend. lots of cannabis, regular walking and different new music is also recommended. Doesnt have to be programming, choose something that's always taken your interest or something important for the future.
you'll be fine my nigger.

thanks guys — taken your comments of board. will try and focus on my life and wait for good ol' time to cure me

not op but about to break up and ive been mentally preparing myself, thank you !

When i broke up with my girlfriend I just started jogging until I got to run 10kilometers without even feeling it...then I joined a gym. Helped a lot more than substances. After that, shortly, I found another one...still with her today. Don't be desperate, invest in yourself, do something that makes you happy and it is productive in any way

Kek i appreciate your level-headed response to my crude comments. I have actually had huge emotional connections in the past, the most recent of which ended in June. I have also been through turmoil in my mid 20s when my first serious (living together) relationship ended. I know what you're going through and honestly the best advice i can give you is to man up. Stay away from booze. Remain focused on stabilising your thoughts and emotions. Working out helped me a lot. Don't stretch this out. It took me years and it wasn't worth it.

thanks mate. that gives me a lot to think about. i gotta stop wallowing and start steppin'. maybe go do a masters

exercise seems to be key, that's what i'm finding here. thanks mate, and grats on your new girl
thanks for a second message bro! only been two weeks so far, but i won't let it go on for years. gonna try and cut it out asap. nights are hard as fuck, ya know?

Sup Forumsro... I broke up with my gal of 6 years a week ago. All I say is this. Keep track of your bar tabs, don't let her take that money from you too. Exercise beats the substance abuse. But as for the emotional damage... remember that you'd been mourning the loss of her for some time.. That inevitably WHY you split in the first place. Don't ever let your chest and your chin touch in public, the worst parts of her would love to see that and it certainly won't help you shaggy a new bird

Well if you plan on spiraling for a while to cope with the nights, at least set a specific date for yourself on which you have to get your shit together. Goodluck bruv.

maybe quit being 2 dimensional and focus on more important shit. youll waste your whole life worrying about pussy.

lifting heavy is best way to deal with shit.

Sup Forumsro you gotta find a reason for you to live for yourself. Pick anything you want, all that matters is that you want to achieve it bad enough that you're willing to work towards some degree of stability. Life hurts now, but until you break the cycle of abuse, you will remain the victim. Once you let go of it and leave it in the past, living in the present will become even more rewarding. Don't ride that wave that she was, look for the next improvement in your life so that you wind up with someone better.

I am a work in progress

thanks boys. you're actually great motivation to forget her and work on myself. when i write my fiction masterpiece, look out for my comments quoting Sup Forums as my savior

definitely thought about being solo and fucking off the world. but i've seen people die from an early age, and, in a totally emperical world, it's not fun at the end

the fun part? i was just like you living heartache to heartache. i gave up on women and started pursuing personal hobbies and inventions. thats when my wife appeared. we are now married with our 3rd child on the way. seriously though, if you stop chasing pussy, pussy chase you.
little advice from confusious for you

Any man that deifies a woman so much so that he actually depends on her for emotional and psychological equilibrium is no man at all.

How far we've come, how far we've fallen. It used to be that women were to be conquered and used at our leisure. Now we submit to them for the sake of a few holes to fuck and for some reason go inwards on ourselves if / when they decide to leave.

I think the only problem with you OP is that you feel powerless. It's not that she means anything to you, it's not that you love her. It's the fact that you didn't and still don't have the power to make her stay. That's the root of it, and it stems from the male instinct to conquer and force submission. It's part of our identity as men to do this to women, but we've cucked ourselves with this "equal rights" bullshit and the advent of the state protecting women over men, creating the circumstances that disallow us from carrying out behavours we have since time immemorial.

Reacquaint yourself with your instinctual roots and realise that this woman who left you is nothing. She is simply a tool, a thing to be used, and adapt to your loss of that tool by getting yourself another. Simple as.

All these comments are helpful and similar. I will throw my 2 cents in. You are going through a grieving process. Its gonna be rough but just feel what you feel. Cry,scream, punch something, be angry, its okay to feel these things, but substance abuse isn't going to help you in the slightest.

Staying busy and working out has helped me a lot. Also picking up new hobbies is a great thing. Especially something that is physically draining, I picked up cycling and its just pedaling and not getting hit by cars. So I focus on something and blast upbeat music. Once you're on track of working out and being your own person you will soon forget her face, her laugh, her weight on your chest will all be a distant distant memory. And thats okay.

Time to move on and be the best user you can be. Stop drinking, stop eating shit food, stop doing drugs and be sober and feel your pain. Pick yourself up and keep fighting.

Good luck user

Talk to people. Nothing helps a shitty situation more than surrounding yourself with people close to you.

>How far we've come, how far we've fallen. It used to be that women were to be conquered and used at our leisure. Now we submit to them for the sake of a few holes to fuck and for some reason go inwards on ourselves if / when they decide to leave.

the whole comment is great but this sentence is important to know that this is our lust for women. great post user.

all that over a chick? grow some nuts, Sup Forumsro

Yes. Our baser instincts that control us if we lack self-awareness. Lust is fine. It's a part of our psyche. What's not fine is letting it, letting our libido control us. Which is what most men do. And they mistake that control, that fixation, that extreme lust, that desperation and addiction as love.

Also, it used to be that women had no merit or value unless they were benefiting a man one way or another, either by bearing his children or at least fucking him. Now the dynamic has flipped and men have no value as far as society sees them unless they're fucking women and providing for them.

Matriarchal values.

Our lack of self-awarness of this controling us is troubling for most I agree, What i don't like is how women have no value for self-blame or self-reflection on how they treat boyfriends/husbands the way you stated in the last sentence
>Now the dynamic has flipped and men have no value as far as society sees them unless they're fucking women and providing for them.
They seem to cheat and lie, and feel justified cause "they're" the victim. They see no problem with lying or using us cause they are justified in their actions to do so cause it will make them feel good/better than the given situation. They are so wrapped up in the emotions of it that they see that they do nothing wrong and proceed without any moral hiccup of feeling bad or guilty about this.

OP here. thanks for all your replies. want you to know i've read them all. thanks heaps

Women have evolved to be prolific in one area above all. Manipulation. This is how they survive, it's their one and only survival mechanism. This is why in regards to IQ women average out at the same level and rarely diverge towards either end of the spectrum. They stay in the middle. As opposed to men who tend to be more to one side of the spectrum or the other (because evolutionarily speaking men fit into two categories, two archetypes, thinkers and doers, and of course some fit into both categories and they're typically what's known as an "alpha male").

It used to be that in order to survive, women had to be attractive enough and submissive enough for men to want to conquer them and be willing to keep them around (submission = less hassle for the man, and the more hassle a woman was for a man, the less convenient she was for him, so he'd simply find someone else, maybe pass her on to someone of lower status or simply socially ostracise her or kill her). They had to essentially go along with whatever men wanted. Both physically and mentally. They had to play the role of "good wife" or before marriage, "good mate", and this was simply because they couldn't survive if they didn't.

But now the state has taken the role of male protector for women, and they no longer need men on an individual level. Especially not now we have so-called equal rights under the law. So now, women no longer need to satisfy men, they can afford to demand more and give less, and abuse, because the power differential has flipped due to the state protecting women.

So yeah, that's why they don't give a shit about men, because simply put, they don't need or even want us. We're just a convenience that's there to be taken when we have something that has utility value. And they only really provide us with something in return when they're unsure that they'll get that thing whenever they need / want it. And when they don't want or need it anymore, or when they find a better offer, something with more benefits or something easier to acquire, they're gone. Until they don't have that utility / resource anymore.

Wow user dropping some cold hard facts. This is just true. Plain and simple

Yes. This is why women seem to have an almost godly affinity for manipulating the male mind via many different tactics. It's because they've literally spent thousands if not millions of years evolving to do so. Figuring out how the male mind works and how to influence it so that men serve women while men think the women are serving them (covert matriarchy).

And yes, they even trick us into thinking we have the dominant role when in fact, they do. It's called topping from the bottom. Even today this dynamic is all too common. I myself experienced it in dom / sub relationships. Women proclaiming themselves submissive but really that was just "I'll let you do whatever you want to me if you do whatever I want - e.g. provide me with whatever I want", and if I didn't do what they wanted, they either played the victim or moved on to somebody else. It's actually quite interesting because these tactics are so obvious I'm surprised they work on anybody.

hey user maybe you could help with me. I feel as though I'm being manipulated or something by my ex. She emails me saying that shes not in a good place, she wonders every day if shes fucking her life up, she thinks about me all the time, and that I am every where she goes. Then turns around and says we can't be together. What is trying to gain from saying this shit to me?

bump everyone needs to read this stuff.

She's keeping you at arm's length so she can use you for one thing or another. From what you told me, maybe support when she needs a pick-me-up from a "friend" or whatever, or attention, or maybe more, I don't know for sure. But she's giving you false hope so you do whatever she wants whenever she wants, thinking it'll convince her to take you back.

She's a vindictive, narcissistic bitch, and you need to ghost her like fuck before she drives you into a deep depression with her manipulation.

This is also why men should never be friends with women. Friendly acquaintances yes. Workmates yes. But not friends.

Well I don't want to be with her so that's okay. Damn seems obvious enough. Thanks user.

Honestly man, have a coffee and just do it.

Go to work
Don't fucking talk to her
Come home
Don't fucking talk to her
Do whatever you want
Don't fucking talk to her
change the wallpaper on your phone
don't fucking talk to her
See friends
Don't fucking talk to her
Make friends
Don't fucking talk to her

If you haven't gathered by now, don't have anything to do with her. Don't hate her, don't give her any more of your brain. Do you and only you.

Stop being a fucking fag

Go outside at night and lay face down in the grass.

Not face up. Face down.

It will feel uncomfortable, but that's part of the goal.

Correct. If you'll never grow real feelings for her, only agree to see her when she is 100% gonna throw sex at you.

Then why are you even talking to her?

I hope you realise as well that women tell each other everything about men they're speaking to / are friends with / are involved with because they love to show other women how many men are surrounding them hoping for a dip. Because they know deep down that no man will bother with a woman he doesn't at least want to fuck, unless he really has to. So by sticking around and "supporting her", which is what her female friends should be doing, or her family. You're going to tarnish your reputation with other women that she knows, and so on and so forth, so you'll likely be targeted by women wanting to also use you and lead you on for kicks or utility.

Cheer up bro, i passed from the same shit some years ago, it took me a while to get back to normal, and BETTER...

First thing you gotta know, is that it hurt, and i may hurt but is your choice if you suffer.. so DONT SUFFER.

1.- Love and respect yourself.
2.- If you gotta think about it, just think about it,,, always do your best so you dont suffer, you did ur best didnt you?? So no worries..
3.- Go have fun, do things you stopped doing coz of her, remind the good times is ok, and if you got thinks to say to her,, just tell her i know you dont want to hurt her,, but sometimes is best to CUT all conections with her,, if u can do it.. if you cant Just be a man.. always head up.! and walk forward, be strong.


Bro hug * men learn from their pain and problems and we grow up stronger...

She shall be thinking in all that, but girls mostly doesnt grow up or forget problems,, they just disguise them, so dont worry,..

Grow strong!

This is wise... give it a slowly look!!

Be strong!

All boys go through a bad break up. Then you become a man and stop giving a shit about everything. Women will flock to you then once they sense your newfound manliness. Then 20 years later you will go through a divorce and really stop giving a shit about everything. That is when you become an old man. That is when women will really want you

Go to an AA meeting. You're an Alcoholic probs.

>What else works to make it better?

Time. Keep busy. Move forward. Do not wallow in self-pity.

Go for a walk, join a gym, clean your house... eat healthy food, read a book. Basically it's a matter of time passing, and you obviously cannot speed time up.

After 20 or 30 years, the feeling fades as long as you never think about it. Just seal it up, like they did with Chernobyl.

Yeah but personally I prefer it if there's an open and honest trade-off.

Want support? At least send nudes.

Even posted a status about this ages ago. Women want the benefits of a relationship from men without the benefits of a relationship for the men. At least send nudes if you're gonna bore a man you're not even with, with your problems.

She emailed me out of the blue, this was last thursday, I haven't responded to her.

Ah ok, good on you. Don't bother, even if she ups her game which she likely will do. No matter how bad it gets, even if she says she's thinking about killing herself. Even if she wants to. Let her. Not your problem. Women will say and do anything if they feel rejected. And if she says "I think I might end it" or whatever, and that works in reeling you back in, she'll do it again and again.

I had a bitch do that with me for a while, not the suicide thing. But she'd manipulate me like fuck or at least try to, then guilt trip me when I'd call her out on it. Typical mega self-victimisation bullshit. I'd swerve her or she'd swerve me after realising she's in a losing battle. Then she'd get in touch months later saying she's sorry and all that, and needed support. Eventually just stopped answering my phone to her altogether because the pattern was always the same.

It's simple. You find your passion and you practice it. Bitches be bitches. By the time you're 30-40 if you follow your passion you will be unstoppable, and all those women who peaked out at age 23 will wish they could be with you, but your worth will be far beyond theirs. Red pill, mgtow shit helped me get over a bitch, and as soon as she saw the new "me" (my idgaf about you anymore attitude) she instantly wanted me back more thn ever.

This.

MGTOW is extremely helpful in these undertakings. But also, you have to be pretty careful because there's far too much vitriol within the MGTOW community and it can get to you and make you hate women. Which ironically plays right into the hands of women and benefits them because it makes them victims of male oppression or whatever.

If you stick to the facts and don't allow yourself to hate, you can stand firm and strong and stick to your guns, and destroy anyone who tries to tell you that you do hate women.

One of my favourite rebuttals to that accusations is the simple point of "you don't hate a dog for being a dog so why would you hate a woman for being a woman, it's just women's nature to be this way and if I was to hate them, well, that'd be illogical and immature of me."

people never know what to say to that because the only-counter arguements they have are based on that assumed hate.

what should i do if i have no passions?

Tried many things from fishing to art to sky diving and I dont really enjoy anything

What kinda stuff do you enjoy doing?

It sucks but dude three years and you're still a mess?
First off, stop abusing alcohol, cut it out of your life. It only makes the depression worse.
Date other girls, even if you fuck it up by talking about your gf, it opens your mind a little.

You gotta stop beating yourself up over what could have been and start thinking about what can be.
I can get you keep thinking of the initial week or month or so leading to the breakup, but remind yourself and seriously think of all the shit and scenarios that lead to the initial breakup in the first place. It'll open your mind and bring closure when you realize the real reasons for breaking up, in other words look at the whole picture.

the nature argument is retarded. We have a prefrontal cortex for a reason.

Its in my nature to conquer my neighbors back yard and take his daughters as prize but I dont do that because Im not a child and I can control my programming if even to the smallest degree, which is more then can be said for the vast majority of women

Find someone else to stick you dick into.
Next.

Sometimes the answer is right in front of your face your whole life you just never knew it. For me I have been messing with video camera and photography my entire life. It took me 23 years of life to figure out that it is my life passion (or one of them) and now I approach hot women and ask if they want to model for me. Turns out my pick up game is now so effortless, just enjoying my daily life will allow me to meet and pick up new women.

>Anyone have some advice or a kind word for a bro in pain? What else works to make it better?
Stop giving a shit about her and move on, faggot!

I think it's both nature and nurture at the same time. I think society has created the conditions in which women have no incentive to combat their natural instincts but rather allow them to take over them completely because there are little to no consequences for them doing so. Simple as.

nothing all that much. It takes me a really long time to make friends since talking to people I havent known for a few years makes me sweat through multiple shirts, so most social activities are not something I enjoy

Im not that into sports but I do exercise a small amount. Weights on my upper body and skating 5-6 miles about 3x a week which should be enough to prevent any depression caused by just sitting still

Video games are meh, even the ones I used to like back in the day. I really like pot but I try to not smoke very often cause it makes me really lazy

Usually I wake up and do my best to stay distracted until its night and I can go back to sleep

stop being fag.

actually start exercising every day, with rest days, eat less shit food, ween yourself off the gay substance you're abusing (I assume its semen) you dont want to go cold turkey unless you're a complete homo faggot because you'll cave to withdrawl symptoms and wont recover correctly. just take less every 2 days until you aren't taking any. also stop being a faggot, and literally any argument you could have against this plan is just resistance to change that you have to overcome or theres no way to win. End fucking thread, stop reading, get started right now you pansy faggot

Ok so I'm guessing alongside your alcoholism you've kinda lost interest in things in general, struggle to find interest / enjoyment in things in general, probably have at least one or two health concerns that you're ignoring, don't really eat healthily, have a regimented, organised routine and you're likely pretty much addicted to porn?

for sure its both. but any female that is an adult should have the mental faculties to not be wretched since in the long run thats what is good for everyone

just because someone was raised with zero guidance or punishment does not mean we let them hurt people when they're 20 because "thats what society made them"

Sometimes it just takes time before you feel right again brother. I'm about to be in a similar situation.
Just keep distracting yourself, maybe lift more or exercise more and try not to drug up so much.
It'll be hard but you can do it

Yeah I totally agree. But as a society we've become appeasers to women and unfortunately the second you tell women they're a problem or what they're doing is problematic, because they're so used to being appeased, and have an army of appeasers at their feet (including the state), doing so is considered abusive and you hate women for pointing things out.

A passion turned into a career will solve most of these problems. Focus on what you enjoy and do it. This is all any man should focus on. The rewards will be there for you. Find your will and follow it. Surely there's something deep within you that if you were to have it as a career you would not only enjoy it but there would not be enough time in the day anymore. Women have a superiority complex at our age because they have a moist hole between their legs, but in 10 years those same women will have no skills that translate to real life, and they will need a man with prospects. That's where you will come in, but by that time your self worth will be so high you will feel no need to have the company of the same shallow bitches that are rejecting you today.

I have an allergy to alcohol so Ive never been able to drink. A shot of liquor would probably put me in the hospital lol

I am in perfect health besides having hurt my knees as a teenager and I have really messed up teeth because of total neglect when I was an adolescent

I do enjoy food. I cook most everything I eat since its better and cheaper that way. What I normally eat in a day is fruit for breakfast, some sort of sub or sandwich for lunch, and grilled chicken/beef/sausage with some vegatable for dinner. I dont drink any soft drinks or anything really bad like that. I am able to maintain being 6'1 and 170lbs right now, but ive let myself go up to 220 before

16-23 I took xanax daily. It made it so I could have relationships and friends and go to work without much worry. Turned from medicinal to recreation when I was about 18. Was pretty regular with the opiates during this time as well. I've been clean for 3.5 years now

All in all Ive fucked up a lot of stuff in life even after being given a pretty good chance. Right now my main goal is trying to see if I can get into a trade with my record, but its a bitch even though nothing I have is violent or a felony

suppose all I can do is keep trying though lol

If it's been 2 weeks and you're still this down, I think I can begin to see why she left you. It's like going catatonic because you spilled a glass of water out of the lake, whatever will you drink now?

Stand up, dust yourself off, and move forward. You've had a 2 week pity party, its time to be an adult again.

unfortunately growing pot or mushrooms isn't that realistic a goal to follow. Ive grown and sold mushrooms to restaurants in the past but the non-magic ones are cheap enough to not really be worth it lol

forgot to mention nail on the head with the porn and lack of routine, however

Oh my mistake, I thought you had a drinking problem because of a past post I saw. Crossed wires, that's all.

Ok so, fuck the knees, they don't matter. The teeth, they do. You probably really dislike yourself because of them and consider yourself lucky for even being able to be with that cunt you mentioned for as long as you were? You need to get your teeth sorted so they're not a source of self-hatred and low-esteem for yourself. I'm actually in a similar predicament and am going for an x-ray tomorrow in preparation for multiple extractions, so yeah, I feel you on that, teeth are an issue with me too for the same reasons.

Doesn't sound like you have a bad diet then much at all. Keep up the good work with that. Can even try and improve it if you like, will make you feel better. And fit in a true workout regiment as well if you can.

Fuck the Xanax right off. It'll give you relief but it won't solve your issues. Only you can do that, and you can only do that if you face them head on. You need to be able to go through the bullshit you're running from so you can find natural coping mechanisms and figure out how to solve these issues, it's the only way. And no replacing Xanax for anything else, I'd stay clean of absolutely everything if I was you. Even coffee. Because that can be just as addictive as any other substance although not as detrimental. It's the mindset that matters and you don't want to replace one form of substance abuse as a coping mechanism for another.

As for work, first-off I have to ask what country are you from? I was gonna assume UK at first but then I noticed you used the word felony so now I'm assuming the US?

And yeah, porn is a no-no mate. I'll explain why in the next post.

Porn is destructive as fuck for the male mindset. Women? Not so much. Doesn't really affect them in the same way.

It's especially destructive if you're newly single and just coming to terms with a break up. Because you're going to be projecting your emotions onto porn because it'll essentially be a substitute for the sexual gratification you got from your relationship. Or it'll be fulfilling some other emotional need, because porn isn't just about blowing a load. It goes way deeper than that. The longer you attach yourself to porn, the longer you'll be attached to your ex. The point I just raised is the first reason why. But there's another.

The more time you spend on porn, the more you distract yourself from finding another woman. Because subconsciously you won't feel the need to some degree, because you have porn. If you couldn't access porn, your first instinct eventually would be to replace the cunt you were with. And you'd be doing everything in your power to do so. And by that I mean, working on yourself in order to attract someone, not thirstily go out and look for someone, because that'll only make women run from you like the plague.

And a routine is needed. I'm up at 6am and go to bed between 10-12pm almost everyday. Not a perfect routine but it's way better than going to bed at random times and waking up at random times which makes you feel like shit in the long run.

its just a woman, most if not all turn into a burden at some point anyway and just cause useless stress so why waste that much energy feeling bad when youre finally free

yeah ive got some money troubles so getting 4 root canals isnt going to happen for a bit. so far ive had 6 teeth pulled but only one is far up enough to be seen and I have to like laugh without thinking for it to be. I asked about implants but something about there being gaps for so long that it would take 5 years of surgeries to regrow enough jaw bone to anchor them in so maybe in a decade ill be able to chew ice again lmao

as for the xanax Im totally done with that. was a major factor in me starting the opiates and was 90% of how I got the record I did.

I however sincerely love pot. If I could do nothing all day but grow, sell, breed, and smoke pot I would live the rest of my life happy. I realize this isn't realistic though, and Im not smoking now just in case im lucky enough to find someone willing to give me a chance and they want a drug test. Pot is the only thing ive touched in 3.5 years and save for some acid/mushrooms once every few years is the only substance I have any interest in. luckily enough I have self control when it comes to pot lol

yeah im in the us. My record is a dui for having pot in my system like 6 years ago, and a couple theft charges from a xanax blackout 3.5 years ago. even though all my convictions were talked down to misdemeanors, when you do a background check it still lists the original charges. this results in anyone that looks me up seeing four entries of "CHARGE - FELONY DANGEROUS DRUGS" way before they see the rows that show thats not what I was convicted of

Ive got a few speed bumps to figure out how to overcome with that one lol

Fuck, it's a shame you don't live in the US, you could get that shit covered by the NHS. I'm pretty sure they cover that shit over here. If not, false teeth will do. Also pretty sure you can get false teeth that just replace the teeth you've lost and don't have to fill in the whole mouth.

Ok you need to fuck drugs off altogether mate. You're gonna have a mindset that's gonna make it super easy for you to become addicted to things overall. So you need to swerve anything and everything that could be considered an "addictive substance." Especially if it's harmful in the long-term.

And yes, even weed.

As for the criminal charges or whatever, the only thing I can suggest really is, keep trying to find a job or something and just be honest and explain to prospective employers that you want a fresh start.

UK* ffs

I think there is still a few wires crossed. Im not OP lol. My anxiety has made it pretty hard for me to have relationships. Once I started taking xanax and smoking pot when I was 16 I was able to talk to women. Dated a couple girls and married one when I was 19. Divorced at 22 and slept with a few others since but ever since getting clean me interacting with women, let alone successfully, is very unlikely. The sex from pursuing women has never been enough for me to consider it worthwhile, and after having slept with my ex like 2 years ago I just stopped caring about it all that much. Not to mention men with zero self esteem and confidence generally aren't considered all that valuable lol.

Sure Im desperately lonely but I'm also anxious and bitter to the point where it would take a woman throwing herself at me before I thought the effort would be worth it

Honestly bro, just sit down and realize that there is much more to life than women. They'll hurt you if you let 'em, so fuck 'em. Figure out what you want to do in life, and focus on achieving your goals. If you want a family, either find the right woman or adopt. Simple as that, bro. Keep on truckin'.

Wait so am I talking to two people or what lol?

So confused right now.

Sounds like you're going down the right road user. Well, not quite, you've taken a few detours and gotten lost along the way but the end location seems to be in sight now. And I think that end location is where you want to be.

You're starting to see women for their true value.

I tell women upfront now, "if it's not easy, I don't want it." That's the attitude to have. They're unimportant. They just don't matter. They're a convenience. Nothing more, nothing less.

You just need to find a way to get rid of the anxiety to complete this transition. Remove that, and kinda remove the bitterness but not the sentiment of "if it's not easy, I don't want it." If a woman tries to make you work for her. You walk away. Because you're far too busy and interested in too many things to be spending so much time and effort just so you can put your dick in a few holes.

I get the sentiment, but forsaking pot is something I doubt I will ever do lol. I havent smoked for months and I probably wont smoke for another 4-6 or until I am comfortably embedded in a job.

As shameful as it may sound if I didnt have the light at the end of the tunnel of "if it gets bad enough you can smoke and forget it for a few days" im not sure to what end I would be striving

Damn son, bad mindset to have IMO. For me personally I just constantly aspire to find new ways to be efficient in life. And new ways to learn and be a better me, simple as really.

sounds like you were super emotionally attached to woman, which is your first mistake, thats how you get hurt. its possible to be invested in someone while leaving most of your feelings at the front door. as you continue on through life you will realize almost all women are merely adult children and everything she is making you feel is not worth it, imagine another human having this much power over your emotions, crazy right?

well stop being a bitch and move on, you need to turn that pain into something productive, working out or hobbies. if you just sit and spiral downward who is that really helping.

move on and don't let her win by making you feel this way

and smoke a bunch of weed

>and haven't told a single person.

Great, agent James Bond!

Take psychodelic drugs, nothing addictive, just shit like lsd

that's not a long-terme viable solution, it will just make you unaware that you need to move on

If breaking up with your girlfriend has done this much damage to you the you could probably benefit to a nice long downward spiral. Of course emotional pain is subjective but if the knowing that life could be much worth can't keep you pressing on then you have some learning to do .