Why can't Jesus get a big fukkin straw and suck up all that water in Texas?

Why can't Jesus get a big fukkin straw and suck up all that water in Texas?

america is babylon the great so fuck them

He lives in outer space so there isn't a straw that's big enough.

Free will.

He tried, but the cucking kikes nailed him to a tree again. Those goddamn conniving Jews, always fucking around with shit for some nebulously sinister reason, maybe.

Because he doesn't exist.

Sorry Fam Skydaddy dont care

he could have turned those whips to steam, nails to mercury

Because he's dead.

he gets reinvented

No, Superman is Moses.

Baby in the bullrushes, all that claptrap.

because Texans haven't murdered and tortured enough faggots to convince Jesus to miracle their asses to safety

He's too busy sucking somewhere else.

Maybe you should worship a tougher god.

You don't see allah getting treated like a bitch?

not to be an asshole, honestly, but I don't understand when people are so caught off guard by hurricane-induced flooding. Tsunamis triggered by earthquakes, for some reason, I have more sympathy for, but seriously as someone who grew up in the hick ass southern united states, it's as simple as head. to. higher. ground. Take what matters/ can't be insured (and have fucking flood insurance if you live in a low-lying area). When people are on rooftops needing $5000 worth of chopper air time to evacuate them I can't help but reach for the darwin award slips....

Only the Jews have power in America

You don't realize how fucking fast the water rises
The street could be empty and then in half an hour your bottom floor is underwater

so the multiple day heads up that a hurricane is threatening your house is just ignored until the water starts rising?
you aren't helping your case

oh I know, my home that I owned outright was completely destroyed by katrina in 05. Water line was at dick/waist-level standing, structure was fucked. And where was I? Took my family and our valuables to stay with some relatives way inland.

Today the Army Corps of Engineers had to open 2 dams' spillgates, flooding even more neighborhoods. They didn't notify those neighborhoods and people who didn't get hit by the natural disaster got hit by the government's.

Jesus is worthless. Worship Odin, the Allfather.

oh and btw we also spend a shitload of manpower in the days leading up sandbagging our perimeter. It was completely overwhelmed but there are steps you can take, from fortifying to retreating

so you lived downstream of a damn
and didn't know you were in its flood plain
and didn't know that a fuck ton of rain would overwhelm the dam
and expect us to have sympathy for you?
please kill all of your children, nieces, nephews, siblings, parents and then an hero