I used to pretend I was retarded so the pizza place at the end of my block would give me free slices...

I used to pretend I was retarded so the pizza place at the end of my block would give me free slices. They found out and now I'm too scared to go back and its my favorite pizza place. What should I do?

Nice one retard

Dude. I didn't think I would get caught.

Go back and be like "Yeah I'm much better now, thanks. Must be the pizza. Speaking of which, one pepperoni and cheese, please."

lol this is funny tho.

explain how you were retarded for us

it's pretty good idea tbh.
in this situation i don't see other ideas better than this one.

Its not. One of the waitresses saw me at a bar and fucking told the other ones. Its fucking embarrassing

well at least u got free pizza out of it

I just would walk in use a retard voice high five them sometimes shit like that. The first time I did it I came in wearing my american flag pants and a stained transformer t shirt and i just kinda went with it

Keep acting like a retard maybe they wont realize its you. You can always order delivery though, can't you?

Go kys faggot

Not anymore and niw i can't go back there

If you want free pizza, you'll have to become a real retard now. It's easy to do. Just keep coming here and posting regularly, and they'll be handing your drooling, shuffling, derp-derping ass free slices within a year.

Just tell them it is occasional.

I went in there and they called me out on it and trried to make me pay. Then they told me they knew I was lying. I really don't want them to know where i live

Have a friend do it for you
Pay in cash, leave cash on doorstep and wait for them to leave
Have it delivered to the post office and have them hold it?
Man up and pay back some of the pizza
>yeah uh uh like I'll do that

stop being a pussy, dont do the crime if you cant do the time, either dont go back or go back and apologize or whatevs

Say you got better

What crime. They willingly gave me the slices

>keep coming here and posting regularly
>derp-derping

GTFO retard!

you lied to them. dont be an idiot and expect consequences for being that stupid, how do you even act retarded? that must have been degrading to say the least, for a slice of pizza... thats a worse deal than being a prostitute

Just apologize, do a couple of good deed, hell donate money if you have to. It probably won't help but hey it'll hopefully clear your head.

From what I've read in this thread, I see no reason for them to stop giving you pizza.
In fact if they don't give you any more pizza you should probably report them for discriminating against your retardation.

>he was retarded for thinking he could get away with acting retarded, therefore he is retarded
I like how you think, or at least how I think you think

I don't feel bad i did it im just mad i got caught

I'm not a prostitute. I didn't need the pizza it was just nice to get a free slice. I didn't feel degraded once.

>I'm not a prostitute.
You should try it then. They might be willing to trade a slice for a handy under the counter?

Dude im not some degenerate that needs pizza. It was just nice to have

>not some degenerate
>acts retarded for free pizza
Pick one?

i got this guys... find an old hooker on craigslsit and have her pretend to be ur mom go in with her have her get you a plain slice . throw it on the floor and do retard screech and shit on floor and run out .. have whore explain that you are special... post wins of free pizza

Maybe you are really retarded, and imagine sometimes you are not, and make up stories?
Go there again, you'll see, you gonna have free pizzas and hugs

this will work

Dude it was just a joke. Everyone does shit man. Don't act better than me because you're not

Moralextrafag

Op whatever you do next make sure you live stream it

finally a Sup Forumsro that does not have his head up an asshole

Accept the consequences from your stupid decisions and order from another place.

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