Do raccoons like marshmallows? There is one in my neighborhood and I'm pretty lonely

Do raccoons like marshmallows? There is one in my neighborhood and I'm pretty lonely

Let me tell you about macaroons./

Lol nice pic

Yes though

I don't have macaroons only marshmallows. Rhats the only thing i can think they would like

Though?

racoons will eat almost anything. we used to have a family of them raiding our patio and tearing up our trash just to get to the leftover food we would throw out. just be careful because they are wold animals not pets and they carry desieses

i trap coons for a living
if not marshmallows try a pair of jordans.

But this one is really cute. I think its a baby. Can they be domesticated?

Why jordans?

They fucking love cat food

>op is lonely.
There are easier ways to fuck a coon than marshmallows, user.

I don't want to fuck it. I want a pet

They are like dogs, some are vicious, one slaughtered 1 of my chickens every night and left the feet, this went on for a week till I figured out how it got in. But i have seen some act okay near me, but never friendly.

Also, if you have a decent income buy a dog, I love cats too but dogs are better company

Bitch you wanna catch a raccoon you use salted meat .
The fuck would a raccoon like marshmallows? its sugar and collagen.
Get a nice cut of marbled steak, cover it in salt and stick it in a trap

fucker will be yours for life

I don't want to attract a bear though

Fuck you, pussy ass bitch afraid of bears motherfucker.
"Waaaah I'm afraid of bears because I'm a little bitch"
Thats you

Kill that bear, fuck its corpse, make eye contract with the raccoons of the neighborhood all the while. Let them know who's boss. You will be king of the raccoon nation.

Well therr no bears in my area

Considering this is Sup Forums and you're a lonely btard i assumed you wanted to fuck the raccoon too. Jesus.

are...
are you asking Sup Forums on how to bait a coon in so you can fuck it?

wet cat food brah. wet cat food.

oooh fucking this. almost every animal goes for canned cat food.

Jeesus fucking H christ on rollerskates do I have to spell this out for you?

If there are no bears, then lure that fucker into a trap using salted pork, lightly seared

If there are bears, molest them until they have PTSD and are crippled from shame

fucking millenials man

dude..

i get it. you're trying to be funny. but you're not. you're too specific and a little angry.

>funny
you think this is funny do you?
not everything is a joke.
catch that goddamn raccoon or you are a failure as a human being for abandoning a dream.

that dream is your child, you fathered it, are you going to abandon your child?

Underrated post

are you going to abandon your child?

if you were my child, i would. cancel that. i would kill you, butcher the meat, salt it, lightly sear it, put it in a trap, drop it in a raccoon sanctuary and video record the coons not come near the bait, then send the sd card to your mother in a manilla envelope labeled "Your Son Was A Failure"

fuck way to cause a suicide

All trashniggers should die. Kill it OP. For the good of us all.

...

Raccoons love wet cat food, OP!

I feed my neighborhood fox unseasoned cooked chicken breast. Mr. Reynardine is a picky fucker, but I love him so. I think that one of the darker foxes that won't come up to my porch is his girlfriend, because he'll bring her some of the meat... she's getting a little chubby. I hope it's kits.

You'll probably not be able to pet your raccoon, but you'll eventually be able to sit near it while it hangs out by its feeding station. This will go especially smoothly if you provide lots of little nooks and crannies for the raccoon to hide in around his food dish, and only gradually introduce your presence/scent.

>eye contract

>the joke
(o_O) your head

...

They eat anything edible. One night a couple years ago I was eating grapes on my porch and a baby coon waddled over to me and climbed up my pant leg reaching for my grapes. I had to throw some of my grapes into the lawn so the little fuck would leave me alone.

Why would you want the precious child to leave you alone until you went back inside? Baby raccoons are special and wonderful animals.

They like anything

Kill yourself.