OC green text that makes you laugh thinking about it

OC green text that makes you laugh thinking about it

>be 12th grade
>schools biggest stoner, everybody including the teachers know
>also be quiet dude, cool with few but close friends, don't really hang out with the populars, but we get along just fine
>in this blowoff Home Education class I took so I could sleep at school
>have 4 tards in class
>tard 1 is gargantuan, neanderthal forehead, onion face lips
>tard 2 and 3 are scrawny fidgety d00ds with glasses like Parry Hotter
>tard 4 is literally a blob of skin, don't know if it is human
>one day being particularly high on a new strain Gods Bud, hear space and time begin to crack
>hear ripples of the earth's plates shattering
>feel my chair vibrating from the natural disaster

cont

>look up from my high nap, hoping for an explanation
>realize that ungodly sound I felt was a fart
>hysterically laughing
>sidesarespaghetti.flac
>it's the laughter that you can't control "H-H-H-H-H-H-HHHHHH"
>can't manage to get a full "ha" out, just obnoxiously loud hisses and gasps of air
>isitdoneyet.png
>catch breath
>look around
>everybody is staring at me like I'm Hitler
>see tard 1 pulling bottom lip over his head trying not to smile or laugh
>realize tard 1 just let out an earth quaking fart
>tard 1 and I make eye contact
>smile
>ohnonotmysidesagain.mkv
>both tard 1 and I start to laugh uncontrollably, worse than last time

cont

at this point my entire class is furious for whatever reason, and my teacher's face is this special mixture of furious and speechless, sorta like a fat chick trying to run on a treadmill while saying she's just big boned

>calm myself down
>man am I high...
>take eyedrops out of pocket, because I am clearly high
>drip drop
>continuing to gather composure while applying anti-high drops
about 90 seconds have passes since the last fart, and class has resumed
>I look over at tard 2, 3, and 4
>they're like a fucking cult, chanting inaudible phrases that I wish I could understand to this day
>see tard 1 make face like pic related
>hear a bellowing sound spew out of all corners of the room
>force of a thousand suns exiting through this anus
>completely fucking lose my shit
>evil hicks of laughter mixed with fists slamming table and feet stomping
>face red as a methheads dick
>veins popping far enough to touch Saturn
>didntknowicouldlaughthishard.pptm
>about to pass out

is that it?

>cannot breath, laughing too hard
>unlock the kripto locks on my eye lids
>wipe Niagara Falls off my face
>see teacher on the phone
>principle and counselor walk in class
>literally grab me by both arms and drag me out of class
>still recovering from lack of oxygen, can't fight back

After an hour long lecture about why it is wrong bullying retards I get 2 weeks suspension
>niggerwat.mp4

After the first week, my buddy came by my house to drop off homework, and apparently they had a schoolwide assembly in the auditorium about bullying. Have the tard wranglers make a speech of laughing at them and how it hurts them and their parents.
>be known as tard bully
>nobody makes fun of me because /fit/
>pass tard 1 in the halls about 6 weeks later
>as if time itself had stopped, and all that was left is our eye contact
>tard1facewhen.jpg
>lets out that wet fart that ripples the air and you can literally feel it
>smiles at me, winks and runs away screaming

forgot tards facewhen

in the meantime I'll post stories I found amusing

BASED TARD1

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That dogs spooky

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kek'd

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>be high
>go to Krogers to get some donuts
>brother drove because I was 16 with no license
>get there, have argument who's going in
>goes back and forth "dude im too high lol u go" "no i cant pls godkilme"
>finally muster up the courage to go inside
>immediately everybody is watching me
>everybody stops walking and stares at me
>I ninja-hunch walk to the donuts
>grab 4 boxes of krispy creams
>itshealthyforyourtastebuds.fuckyou
>walking to cash register
>see middle school teacher who somehow recognized me, he says "high"
>as if I was struck with the meaning of life in its purest form, I stood there
>deerinheadlights.jpg
>realize that the air is hitting my arm weird
>realize that my hair follicles are dancing
>realize that there are no donut boxes in my arm
>realize I've been circling the stoor for 10 minutes looking for donuts
>realize that I picked up a pack of steak and tampons and lotion instead
all of this happened in the span of 3 seconds
>teacher looks at me in fear and disgust, good thing he doesn't know my name
>start panicking
>think to myself "all I have to say is that I grabbed the wrong things, and didn't know why I grabbed tampons"
seems easy enough
>somehow utter "I grabbed the wrong tampons, I didn't know I needed these"
makesnosense
>drop items, sprint out of store
>jump in brothers car
>explain what happened
>realize I never walked into the store at all and we were still arguing about who is going in
whatthefuckkindofweedisthis.mp4