I hunt and eat my own food...

I hunt and eat my own food. What kind of thing you do that is useful in a zombie apocalypse and proves that you are an Alpha Male?

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twitter.com/AnonBabble

is that mackerel?

I can make bread.

Nice condorito cutting board, weón

I read comic books, play videogames, fantasize about the zombie apocalypse, and masturbate.

Alpha as fuck.

I have a fairly elaborate plan on how to organise my community in a hurry. Like who does what and which resources we can benefit from and how.

Chupala ctm

That is useful indeed

>condorito tray

fucking Peruvian manlet, KYS NOW

I practice shuffling and clawing and biting raw meat so that I can get it right when the time comes. I may become a zombie but I don't want to be a hungry zombie.

¡plop!

grow my own weed

Thank you. I have a lot of unanswered questions though. As in A LOT.

Some of them i can find out without seeming like a wierd guy asking wierd questions.

Some of them will make me look stupid.
Like for instance there is a quarry nearby with sand(i don't know the english term for that) but maybe that sand can be used to make concrete? I've no idea. But if it can then it could become EXTREMLY valuable when making a zombieprof fortress.

There are tons and tons and tons of questions like that.

fucking ceviche muncher

same, gotta look up flatbread recipes tho for that basic oldschool breads.

Can I trade my body for someon's protection? Then yeah, I'll be someones slave.

You can harvest wild yeast.

I can blow a load almost instantly without so much as flicking my dong

Yeah deffinatly. If you happen to be in my town and I get to organise shit then we will need some folks to dig moats, drive poop away from town center, be nightwatch and daywatch. Both patrolling and in watchtowers(improvised with cellphone antenna and a chuch's tower.

There is plenty of need for manpower.

Also the militia we'd have to organise to defend the whole thing. Can you did massgraves? We sure would end up needing some of those.

Can you use a shovel?

I'm going into software engineering now, but spent about 15 years in construction - mostly carpentry and masonry

when the plague starts, keep a file nearby so that you can sharpen your teeth to points. You'll probably need some type of gauntlets too, something that both grips and helps with any cutting you may be doing. Maybe a steel helmet that straps around the top of your head but doesn't cover your mouth. Oh, and since you'll want some level of security in getting food into you, you'll need a small electronic birthday card and a solar panel then record "Help! Help! they're coming and I'm not infected! Help me!" you know, so they'll let you into their shelters.

I can grow my own food. Wheat, vegetables and I can even brew my own beer. I can catch fish with a rod and a speer or traps. Same with other wild animals. I know how to make cheese, but currently do not have any lifestock that produces milk. I can craft simple tools. I can extract metals from ore. I can produce charcoal. I never tried, but I may be able to build a "house" big enough for a few people.

Ese condorito weon

As long as I'm alive, I'll toil away and help. Besides, being a slave has its perk. I've got nothing to lose since everything's been taken away from me.

I didn't even know they grow in the wild. Gotta start learning foraging huh

Na I mean I could I guess but I wouldn't. I'm a fat neet all I would do is play WoW or REEEEE until you fags get internet working again

I eat human flesh. Gotta beat the zombies at their own game, ya feel me?

>I hunt and eat my own food.
I also eat my own food.

I haven't gone fish hunting in a while, but I used to hunt lots of fish when I was younger.

You hunted the shit out of that fish

You mackerel-hunters just piss me the fuck off.

It's not like your pensionfund will be waiting for you.

I have lack of emotion. So like if anyone are hesitating to do cold stuffs in dire situations (like sacrificing our own to save others) let me do it.

i drive to work with my bike and learning how to make scrap into something more usefull like eletronics

Zombies are insatiably hungry. Sorry.

I'm going to tell you why you're an idiot: You posted that picture trying to look tough but you can easily assume from your demeanor, shitty knife and kid scissors that you're not that old, which would be fine, but in the context of starting this thread, you just sound like a complete faggot.

Now, I don't want to just shit on your parade and give you nothing in return, so listen up. The next time you want to pretend to be an alpha male, frame your shitty phone picture with appropriate tools and in an age-ambiguous surrounding.

You're goddamn welcome

>useful in a zombie apocalypse
i'm not a 13yo turd, that's pretty useful in any situation

I am able to perform sexual act with my bare hands. So I can easly renew the population after zombie apocalypse

I am a decent kite maker. If the zombies are at all weak to kite-based attacks, I will be in great demand.

Sand itself is effective for barricades.
Military uses sandbags for a reason

Hunting? bitch you stand still with a fucking fishing pole.
I hunt deers.

At least we could eat you then I guess.

Of the basic 3 energysources(fat, protein and sugar) we'd never run out of protein but the other 2 would be a problem fast. If we could eat you then you'd provide our meals with some much needed fat. That would be nice for the winter.

i can identify many kinds of poisonous medicinal and edible plants

...

This guy has it figured out

Yeah but for foundation for a city wall it'd be nice with some actual contrete.

No it just means I can do whatever the hell I want since I'm not expecting freedom. Just your avg. post-apoc chaos, is all.

Hey maybe when I'm your slave in your village, I'll break into your house and kill you after fucking your wife. Then your guys come by and execute me, yeah haha.

top kite

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Dem edges

you're so cool almost like those edgy anime bois all the tsunderes like

Small Tuna

No you faggots aren't eating me the whole point is I survive and play Vidya while you guys go out and get me mcdonal

There is no human rights convention in post TOTWAKI society.
But there will be torture.

The pillory is not a nice place to be during the night when all the faggot rapists form a line to take turns.

could you use it on this guy to make him edible?

Damn hope they're not so rough owo
I'll be a good slave, sir

Hey OP how do you fillet a fish like the easiest way, city fucker here

>city fucker here
so how many cities have you fucked already?

If you leave me a choice then i'd much rather not have torture and massgraves and shit like that.

But if 50 guys come and try to steal our food and women then they won't get their own funeral and grave if we defeat them.

But I sure don't want to get stick from their smell if we left them.

Make sourdough you fucking dunce.

I know you didn't grow those lemons and onions.
Fuck off OP.

Thats harder to do down here! My culture aint known for breads, we just eat a lot of fish and rice!

I can make vape juice. That's going to come in handy, right?

>Thats harder to do down here!
It's flour and water, stir, til it's pasty, come back in a couple days give it more flour(carbs for the yeast and bacteria) and water(that's all you have to do to keep it alive, and the longer you keep it going the better the tase). People have over 100 year old starters, and it depends on what area you are at, the natural yeast and bacteria will make it taste different. Then mix part of the batter into your bread, and it's leavens without needing baking soda or bakers yeast.

forgot an important part, don't let your starter dry out, so keep it in a container.

Enjoying my life hitting the gym trying to fuck 1 girl a day at least if 99 out of 100 say no one will say yes eventually, because I know that no zombie apocalypse will happen

Also any bacteria can in theory be a nice starter.

If you have a very clean house(which i doubht since you are a b/tard) then start it up in the bathroom.

Loads of mostiure and poop bacteria.

Alot of them will taste nasty but you will come across some that will give you good bread.

Play guitar. Zombies immediately dance involuntarily when confronted with sick tunes. See Thriller.

>Also any bacteria can in theory be a nice starter.
No it can't you faggot. It's lactobacilli, and wild yeast. The bacteria doesn't leaven, it only adds flavor, and usually after the first 2 weeks, lactobacilli will overpower any other bacteria going in.

I can fish and know different edible erbs, shrooms and berries.

Why is that fish head in the sink and not a stock pot?

thanks bee
snapped and posted in my folder

ignore , he's a complete faggot

because I'm not actually resourceful or conservative. I'm just a millennial who has to take pictures of things and tell people I did them just like every other one.

>shit bread
now we are talking

I collect mushrooms

So I am wondering if OP is so self sufficient if he also fucks himself?

I shitpost on an anonymous Burmese neck-stretching board.

why do i care about being an alpha male again?
no, really.

You will need a limestone quarry for that