As an American, how should I pick which Premiere League team to root for?

As an American, how should I pick which Premiere League team to root for?

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Don't pick Chelsea, we're full

Wolves. Because rawr

Don't pick Liverpool
Don't pick Arsenal
Don't pick Spurs

choose stoke city or sunderland, not meme teams

Yeah but I want to a pick team that actually gets a fair amount of coverage in the US

You can be a Man Utd's customer

Ask ur parents where ur ancestor are from and choose that team

Don't

>We're

why don't you just pick one yourself you pathetic sheep?

If you're a black man all of your brothers and sisters support Arsenal so go for them

Niggers - Arsenal (choking club)
Jews - Tottenham Hotspur (choking club lite)
Whites - Chelsea (russian money club with a mostly right-wing group of supporters, trumpfags go here)
Asians - Man United (le most sucessful club so naturally chinks and pakis go crazy for them)
Inbred nu-males - Liverpool (see Slippy G meme, possibly the greatest choke in the history of the sport)
Arabs - Man City (le arab oil money club)

Pick whoever is winning and shitpost after each positive result.

This senpai

just pick whatever the fuck you want, nobody gives a shit

What team has cheerleaders, is red and blue and has an eagle as their mascot?

I've heard that Crystal Palace is the most "American" of the Premier League teams (they even have cheerleaders).

don't pick clubs owned by Americans (like Liverpool and Arsenal). American owners prioritize financial return over glory.

Sugar daddies like Abramovich (Chelsea) and Sheikh Mansour (ManCity) are just in it for the entertainment so they don't mind burning money if that means getting their club closer to winning.

Why do you have to root for anyone? You haven't got any connection to any team.

If you wanna watch, then just watch.

>not being a chelsea/real madrid/bayern fan

we can pay you to be our fan

Pick Westbrom

>As an American, how should I pick which Premiere League team to root for?
Don't bandwagon -- find the Cleveland Browns of the league (for non-Americans: the GOAT team back in the day that has struggled for half a century to win a title since).

pick burnley because why the fuck not

Yeah, and just like Americans they suck at footy. The similarities are astounding really.

Just root for Liverpool, United, City, and Arsenal to lose

Who are the equivalent of the Chicago Bears

Pick chelsea or man city. They will win the most in the coming years. You'll probably never attend a game and live across the world, why would you pick a shit team and suffer if you weren't born into it.

So Spurs?

I was over in London to see Tottenham playeand went to the Palace game the day before. At halftime they had girls in sexy Mrs Claus outfits shooting shirts out of cannons. Very American

They don't need you, pick a Championship or League 1 or 2 team.

Root for newcastle and yedlin to carry them back into the premier league.

Follow Man City. It's fun. Just ignore the Dutch City shitposter, he's a fag.

Fellow burger. Root for Chelsea, they are consistently good and Diego Costa is world class. I just hope that chinese team doesnt buy him for 150m

Hello there americabro, i'll help you pick a team, just answer these 2 questions really quick, do you have money ? and are you going to buy shirts and other such things from the club you will support ?

I recommend either Birmingham City or Leeds United. Both are well-respected clubs, especially for their great supporters.

Can't go wrong with either to be honest.

My best mate is a Brit expat who supports West Ham and he got me back into following soccer so pick West Ham.
-not glory hunting because they will never win anything;
-up and down form means no boredom due to drama every season;
-nice logo and nickname 'ammers;
-Cockneys/Orks are funny and seeing live banter from West Ham supporting Brits at a supporters pub in Sydney is fucking classic.

watch a good league instead

I can't tell you who to support. Watch games, see who you like.

I got into soccer by my friends who were Arsenal and Manchester United fans, so those teams were automatically out. Chelsea caught my eye with Lampard, Drogba and England's Brave John Terry and it's been history every since.

Watch another full season as a neutral, go to some games live if they come to your area. EPL is great and if you have local MLS, do that too.

>Chelsea

likable legends
likable current players
all players are lads
an owner who loves the sport and club
an owner who is based and has billions to spend
best color
best club in London

None. All the big teams are perennial chokers and all the small teams will rarely if ever amount to anything.

Chelsea

>pic related: smug pic of mr 3rd best player in the world AKA Hazard

And here was me thinking Americans had no sense of humour

thought someone might like that one

I picked Citeh but that's because they were the first team I ever watched on tv.

chelsea unless you wanna hipster it up then go for liverpool or some other team that has a ''''chance'''' of winning the league but wont

Which kit colour do you like?
If you like blue you can choose Chelsea, Manchester City, Everton, and Leicester
If you like red you can choose Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester United

None for me then.

>Hazard better than Robben

Kill thineself.

Manchester United is my personal favorite. They're always good, and some pretty great memes have come from the team.

>went to the Palace game the day before.
>At halftime they had girls in sexy Mrs Claus outfits shooting shirts out of cannons.

>Very American

obviously the Tottenham Hotspurss or the Hull City Tigers pfttt

Pick Everton. Enjoy the ride

>he unironically fails to see Azzar as the successor of LCIM

kys yourself

Try Stoke. Absolute madman who play soccer like rugby. Everybody hates them. They're neither trash nor great. Is a safe choice without worrying about relegation.

Come home plastic man

Choke city will get relegated eventually

Arsenal. Piss off everyone.

Say it with me... "Arsenal"... Straight to the point. Sounds American as fuck.

Do you support some "United" club? Or one that needs to always include "F.C" in their name? NO. You support fucking ARSENAL.

If you are Anglo-American, pick the team closest to your place of ancestral origin

Hull City

Juve uni ripoff ew

wait until next year and pick newcastle

What major city are you from (or closest too)? Find their team's sister city.

Multiple options? You'll eventually realize you like one the most if you start following the league.

Relegated? Welcome to football.

Very simple, measure the distance of your hometown to the four borders of the US (Mexico, Canada, Pacific and Atlantic) then scale it back to UK proportions, the closest team to that point is the team you have to support.

Obviously Liverpool.

This is brilliant desu

OP go for Chelsea, not because they're currently number one, but because their matches are always entertaining. Everyone else are memes in that league.

To put an example, Mexico is 806% bigger than the UK so that's my scale, after measuring North to South and West to East I get closest to Plymouth or Torquay. The problem with this system is that since the lands have different shapes, you can get four different towns depending on which border you start.

Think you mean Notts County. Know your history.

This. And their coach is fat.

This is true.

i made the biggest mistake of my life with liverpool, dont do the same

can someone give me a rundown on liverpool? i know nothing about football but was interested in them because lebron james is a minority owner or was at some point.

and yes i realize he owns next to nothing and isnt associated with the team at all, it was just the first connection i had to a team.

I used to bandwagon Chelsea back when bandwagoning it was not cool because they had plenty of respectable players in their squad... Now they have Azpi and Matic who seem down to earth and fun, and the rest are mostly niggers either physically or mentally.

Nowadays I have some sort of respect for Arsenal due to Wenger and their constincency on keeping a certain style of play. They seem really good when on playing their best and they're adorable when they choke every single time.

Look at the logos and uniforms. Pick a team you like the logo and uniforms of.

Alternatively, find a player and root for the team they play for.

I'm surprised at no >border jokes
The fuck Sup Forums?

Lifelongs - Leicester

Pick Spurs

Top 6 team with potential to be a top 4 regular, so you'll get to see some success but be less of a band wagonner

Consistently good kits, white and dark blue are lit

Produce great English talent so they're not cucks

London team so if you ever want to visit it's easier

Everton

Tottenham Hotspur

+

>The most down to earth of the top teams
>But still a big club so you won't have to suffer through endless losses and a club that's going nowhere
>People will respect you for not bandwaging a $$$ team
>Easy to visit since it's London based
>Lots of young talent(dele ali, harry winks, eric dier, Kane(he's only 23, marcus edwards (eg the next messi))
>pochettino (manager) has philosophy of playing high pressing and attractive football. This is also the tottenham way
>New stadium being built which can easily be turned over to an (real) american football field, will become the default stadium for NFL games in london
>Harry Kane is a pats fan
>Just in general a very bright future, new stadium, gonna qulifay for CL two years in a row, young talent
>"the future's lillywhite"

-

>rivalry with Arsenal means you get a lot of shit on the net and otherwise (biggest internet club)
>pretty fiercy rivarly with west ham and chelsea too, so even more hate
>known for fucking up when it matters the most "Lads it's tottenham"
>Was on the wrong side of the biggest event in football history last year (we were the top contenders to win the league besides leicster) so we get some hate for that
>Some will argue that tottenham is the forever "small big club", eg we're one of the biggest club in England, but the gap between us and the other 4 big is pretty huge financially. In some ways our club is also still a "stepping stone" for a lot of players on their way to bigger and more sucsesfull clubs

reddit.com/r/coys/comments/5uf6zc/as_a_new_fan_what_should_i_do/

join us senpai

But AFAIK most white americans have irish or german ancestry. Since the mid XIX century americans with english ancestry are a small minority.

For whatever reason I always have a bad opinion of American Tottenham fans. the only reason you could be a spurs fan is if you did by thinking what you said. It's so calculated and contrived.

I'd say Tottenham are middle-lower big club. Small big club is Everton.

Root for an EFL Championship team
Fuck the Premier League

root for the team with the most convicted sexual predators. the only team i can think of is sunderland. so, root for them.

Root for Liverpool

‘ello mates, my name is Billy Bob Britbong.

I’m a 27 year old American Hooligan (soccer fan for you yanks). I chant supporter songs, and spend my days perfecting my English accent and partaking in superior English pastimes. (Taking the piss, tea time, cheeky Nando’s)

I train with my football every day, this superior ball can bend clean through the air and hit top bins because it is vastly superior to that silly American handegg. I earned my official supporters group member status two years ago, and I have been getting better at chanting and kicking every day.

I speak British fluently, both London and the Manchester dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about English history and their Old Firm code, which I follow 100%

When I get my English visa, I am moving to England to attend a prestigious football academy to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a manager for a Premier League team or an official capo!

I own several full kits, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to England, so I can fit in easier. I chat shite to my mates and speak British as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in England!

Top post la

>linking reddit

How about you take your shitty opinions and go back there

This. Casual fan last few years. Seen multiple Arsenal implosions against Chelsea. Chelsea lives rent free inside the minds of Arsenal players and fans. That was what helped my decision.

Copypasta that was altered quite well. Here's an internet for (you) senpai

Tigers because mauling.

Birmingham City

This is very autistic.

brb doing it

Eh, I guess I´m a Carlisle supporter now

Ended up in Hinckley using this method. Hadn't heard of them before. Zoomed out until I saw Coventry. Figured I was at least aware of their club's existence. Zoomed out further to find Leicester.

I don't envy them too much right now.

Alternatively, my mother's lineage goes back to an area that is now Manchester.

However, I found an even better method. Effectively, I threw a dart at the Internet telling it what I liked in a club.

It gave me Arsenal.

And they're a perfect match. They resemble the teams I support state-side. Can't win the big games. Blow it in critical title chases. Can't win the big one (the EPL title as of late or the UCL at all) despite the talent available. Can't beat the big opponents. Bungle it against teams with no business being in the discussion. Just like the Cowboys, Rangers and Stars (the Mavs' pass is still good for 5 more years, though gutting the team was idiotic). Hell, even Sup Forums in the 4CC have those moments. Everyone I root for runs through that period. Even the Mavs ran it once before they got over the hump.

But whatever method tickles your jimmies.

Jesus Christ. I guess I'll have to do this now

just don't

1,718 to Mexico
321 to Canada
56 to the Atlantic
2,562 to the Pacific
Let's see

I don't know how to do math but if I'm right, the equivalent is
217.4 miles to the English southern coast
40.6 miles to England's border with Scotland
7.1 miles to England's east coast, and
324.3 miles to England's west coast
Does such a place exist?

Autism