My girlfriend is gonna fuck me in three days with her strapon

My girlfriend is gonna fuck me in three days with her strapon.

Only problem is I just got a fucking hemorrhoid. How do I get rid of this shit ASAP so I can bend over for her and not have this stupid thing hanging out my asshole?

Prep H and pray.

Thing is, if you get it to recede, she's gonna yank it right back out.

Fag

Only known quick cure

I wouldn't, bro. You can pick up some preparation H to treat it and some witch hazel wipes to keep it extra clean, and avoid sitting on the toilet for too long (that's how most people get them in the first place is the toilet seat cutting off circulation), but I doubt it'll be totally gone in 3 days. The last thing you want is to rupture or fissure the thing, and you don't know if you have a couple more internally rn either.

It's best to raincheck and just explain.

>haha! anything not heteronormative is a bad thing!
When will this meme die?

>heteronormative

kys tumblrerino

An X-Acto knife will take it off and it won't grow back

OP here. Just for the record, we are both switch and sometimes I dominate her and sometimes the opposite. Last time I had her tied up and simulated a rape with a butt plug in her while she got spanked and fucked by me... This time, well I'll find out when she takes control.

It's just a fun thing to do, and having fun with random things with your partner doesn't define your sexuality. Some people need to lighten up a bit and just have fun. You'll probably miss out on a lot of stuff with that attitude.

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I've concluded that you are homosexual. I have defined your sexuality. You have lightened up to the level of poofter. Remember me when your girl invites a man to fuck your bloody butthole.

never.
fag.

You're gonna need to postpone, dude. Getting fucked with a hemorrhoid is not a fun experience. Just explain the situation if she asks, don't be ashamed of natural body anomalies.

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Of course some of these idiots are gonna give you shit and call you a fag, but that's neckbeard insecurity speaking out. Some people can't comprehend being in a relationship, let alone a communicative and healthy one. It pisses them off.

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nah, we just don't like sticking things into our asses, your insecurity is the one trying to justify it

If that was the case, you would simply continue to not stick things in your ass and move on to the next YLYL thread.

STOP BEING A FUCKING FAGGOT THATS THE TIP

I prefer to have fun here with the responses

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>My girlfriend is gonna fuck me in three days with her strapon.

DESTROY ALL FAGBOT POSTERS

END THE FAGGOT INFESTATION

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>and sometimes I dominate her

S I S S Y
I
S
S
Y

>11 posters
>25 replies
Wow, it's almost like butthurt Sup Forums shills are samefaging in this thread because they get triggered by other people having sex.

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If a WOMAN wearing a fake dick turns you on you have a mental issue

>11 posters + myself = 12 posters
>there are still 12 posters after your post
Thanks for proving me right, cancer.

>still 12 posters
Jesus christ you people are dedicated to being triggered.

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>still 12
>unironically defending samefaging
>calling other people salty to cover up how salty you are

honestly the hemorrhoid is the least of your worries..... what are you doing with your life man?

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>some people are gonna call you a fag for getting fucked in the ass
>but not me, and not my gay lover

A man getting pegged isn't having sex. Duh.

If you were game enough to let her fuck you then Im sure you can man up and take it with a busted arsehole, faggot...

this

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function show_alert value="Show User" eval("x=10;y=20;document.write(x*y)");
Go and spot those samefags Sup Forumsro ;)

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listen, I enjoy my fair share of trap and pegging porn, but if you actually let your girlfriend peg you, you should kill yourself

>It's best to raincheck and just explain.

This. Doesn't seem like anything that can't wait a bit.

Prep H, lots of fiber, lots of water.

Most likely it'll still rupture and begin bleeding.

Tell her you have a hemorrhoid and that you need to wait until it's gone.