Without laughing

Without laughing.

I think I can fuck up a gorilla with bare hands

I practice MMA for 7 years now, boxing in parallel for 6 years, I could.
Not to count strength training at the gym for 4 years, 6 ft 1 1/2 for 189 lbs.

I have an insane speed, reflexes similar to my speed. I just have to wait for him to charge me, dodge his attacks, and throw good punches to his head. I won't stop, and at the smallest mistake he does, the gorilla is finished.

You'll always have virgins from here thinking that it's impossible.

First, nothing is impossible with will, my friends, and 2) that's not with your weak ass bodies that you'll do anything.

Any man with a minimum of training can beat a gorilla with a knife anyway.

With bare hands, that is not necessarily more complicated, it just requires technical skills.

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Are you that retarded kid in class that practised Naruto jutsus? Nice b8 m8

Stale pasta is stale

You say that, then the gorilla is fisting you with your own arm that it ripped off.

Go punch one in the face and tell us how well that goes

Barrel of keks

if you're a nig then you might be OK cause at least you'll move and think like a gorilla. Could be serious advantage.

b8d

Pretty sure this is copypasta, but I'll bite. Fact is son a gorilla can flip a car. It would pummel hulk style 10 Connor Macgregors without difficulty. But if you want to try it be my guest, just make sure someone's livestreaming it for us at the time.

It would be very hard gorillas have very quick reflexes and a super fast in quick bursts. It would be very similar to most dangerous animals fights. You have to try to avoid direct contact and let your endurance carry the fight for a long time.

are there many vids of chimps killing ppl on liveleak or wherever

i'd fucking pay to see you get sodomized by a gorilla. you don't even realise how different their muscles are

Aye seen this particular pasta before but some anons my get a kick out of this.
Fucking guy fights bulls to the death!
youtube.com/watch?v=brHuxeV029E

Speed doesn't mean shit to an animal that can flip a car

OP
With only a machete do you think you could fight and kill a large anaconda? What about underwater?

I believe this to be somehow factual

Dude I could roundhouse that son of a bitch just as long as he initially doesn't get his hands on me (they have wide reach) after repetitive dodging i believe I am quick enough to break him

This was the most hilarious frightening thing I've seen all week
+9 internets

trained man will have a hard time with a chimpanzee, which has enough strength to pull your arms out of your sockets and rip your face and balls off.
Imagine what a gorilla will do to you..

Not op but i think i would have a fair chance agianst an anaconda on land since i used to regularly catch small snakes.In the water though i doubt it.

Dudes a fucking beast everyone talks about Bruce lee and he may be amazingly fast and strong but he never killed a fucking bull with his bare hands!

A gorilla could fuck up Brock Lesnar.
You can roundhouse all day. All you will be doing is make it mad. And you won't be able to stay out of its reach. It grabs you, you are dead. Unless its mating season. Then you will wish you were dead.

OP Here, Yes, A large full grown anaconda stands no chance to me with a Machete in hand. The moment the viper strikes - one foul swoop of my sword would decapitate the beast.

While you are killing the viper, the constrictor would get you.

kek

...

>average speed of a gorilla 25mph
>average weight 350lbs
>fangs
>bite force of 1300 psi
By all means go ahead see what happens

NO chance to get a good wrap around my 5% body fat. My muscles bulge too far for any real grasp to take hold. I would crush its skull with my barehands, and suck any venom out instantaneously

Prove it
Go find a gorilla and fight it record you fighting it and post it here

Until then, fuck off

right.. Or if nothing else get first shot in because suckerpunch

>muh muscles are impervious to its constricting

>foul swoop

lol

if you fouled the swoop you'd miss the snek

Also, you've never chopped the head off anything or you'd know how it's going to take more than one swing to decapitate a big anaconda. Spines are made of bone. You are a puny cunt in the process of being attacked and are not at your most coordinated.

u
r
fuckered
m8

I doubt it. It's not because you're not physically capable, it's because you're not psychologically capable. That's a wild animal: it has no mental barriers. It sees you as an opponent, it will kill you or until you show to it that you've been dominated, and it'll do it by any means necessary.

You hit it hard, it'll spazz out and hit you harder.
It hits you hard, you will psychologically retreat and go on the defensive. If you did mma and boxing, you'd know what I'm talking about. It takes that one hit to take the fight out of you.

A gorilla doesn't have that. It's been forged by the wilderness to know no weakness because otherwise a gang of chimps would run a train on its family.

A rodeo bull would have gored the fuck out of him. Fucking with a tame, horned female cow or possibly drugged male is bullshit.

Yes but you have weak ass human density muscle.

Regardless of your size and fitness, an adolescent chip can literally grab you by the arm with one hand, rip it out of your sockets, and beat you against the floor and ceiling like a rag doll for lulz, which they have done and continue to do given half a chance. That's why the chimps you see in movies aren't adults. They're fucking psychos only stoppable by guns.

And a chimp is no match for a gorilla.

>anacondas are constrictors
>I'll suck the Vermont out
Dumbass

I would fuck up Vladimir Putin if I had the opportunity. I'm not some stooge afraid of going to the gulag if I was to beat his ass.

I would beat him like an animal and make him give back his stolen Super Bowl ring.

Wait post the size of chimp that you are talking about. I thought they were small.

...

That is pretty terrifying that that could kill people. What about heavy weights could they take it on?

All I have to say OP is prove it else your a miserable faggot for even posting this.

your a miserable faggot for replying to this post

I'd just bend over and let him ass fuck me into submission. Not in like a bestial way. I'd let you do it too.

Gr8 b8 m8. Run along, don't be l8, you've got your anus to penetr8

Without laughing.

I think I can get fucked by a gorilla with no condoms

I practice anal for 7 years now, fisting in parallel for 6 years, I could.
Not to count cock sucking at the glory hole for 4 years, 4 ft 1 1/2 for 300 lbs.

I have an insane mental disorders, degeneracy similar to my autism. I just have to wait for him to mount me, take his cock, and suck good amounts of semen from his cock. I won't stop, and at the smallest mistake he does, my ass isfinished.

You'll always have faggots from here thinking that it's impossible.

First, nothing is impossible with will, my friends, and 2) that's not with your weak ass bodies that you'll do anything.

Any sissy trap with a minimum of training can take a gorilla with a massive cock.

With a dildo, that is not necessarily more complicated, it just requires technical skills.

OP is a faggot and always will be

Omg

Ow my feelings

ISSOU

lost

Wouldn't even have to use a machete. Constricting snakes such as Anaconda's give up if their prey is too much trouble. So just bite it, scratch it, poke it's eyes, shit like that. Eventually they decide "fuck it" and leave.

That is a baby. Could still fuck you up, but baby's are all about play and fun.

Adolescent chimps are about waist high or bigger, and is when they get fucking aggressive as shit and intelligent and fucking evil.

Their muscle density is fucking maximum. Ours is shit. Primate strength compared to human strength makes you realize how our key to survival has been the speed at which we reproduce.

>massive cock

But Gorilla's only have 2 inch dicks

An adult chimpanzee is 4-5 feet tall and 3-5 times stronger than a human. The impression of them being cute, funny animals is good publicity. In the wild, chimps are vicious. Bands of chimps will stalk monkeys and physically pull them apart and eat them while they're still alive.

Even a heavyweight fighter would get his shit pushed in by an adult chimp. And probably have his intestines pulled out while he was twitching on the ground.

>First, nothing is impossible with will, my friends
sure, how about a Siberian tiger? just turn your will up and go after it, or how about a freight train? stand in the middle of the tracks and just bust it up, shouldn't be any problem with your kind of will right?

no they are quite a bit bigger, I was just watching some bbc porn and they are pretty huge

Epic bait, my friend.
Gorilla would charge right into you, absorb your blows, and tear you in two.

It's amusing,you assume kong will play by the rules,how hard can you bite?

But gorillas have tard strength

You again? HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Go do it then.

You realize how strong those things are right also even if you could why would you theirs no point

...

LUL OP you trolling right?

Gorilla would basically just absorb all of our hits and just lift you up and body slam the shit out of you until you burst open

anyway goodluck.

I believe u OP. Now go prove it. Livestream.

Either ur right and ur a fucking legend.

or ur wrong and we get to see u ripped apart for lulz.

...

>Without laughing.

>I think I can fuck up a goril-
i coudn`t hold it in, i laughed so hard

We will need a king Kong in it's prime?

hey newb you have to practice for a minimum of 9 years before you can take on gorillas, you still have a lot of work to do