Is anyone else super depressed ?

Is anyone else super depressed ?

>General depression thread.

Tell me why you hate this life Sup Forums

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Not depressed, just bored. And masochistic.

I've struggled with depression over the years and I'm beginning to wonder if there's just a part of me that can't be fixed with any amount of medication

Super depressed, super lonely. I used to be really outgoing but I think that's because I self medicated and abused drugs for years. When I was a freshman in college I started using heroin, I managed to graduate and got clean three years ago with a clean record. I've a good 9-5 job now and been clean for 3 years. But I've lost all my confidence, I get social anxiety over everything and just lay in my room from the time I get home till I go back to work. I don't talk to anyone and don't know how to make friends anymore.

Lost the girl who stuck with me through my whole journey getting clean a year ago too and still can't get over her

Sounds very similar to my life, i am a bright person, i have a girlfriend && a decent home life. I just cant help but get rid of this sadness. Its the only true emotion i consistently feel.

I'm undateable and don't make enough to live on my own. I'm in the process of finishing the basement and adding another door so it's like an apartment. My mom is mentally ill and doesn't work, my dad has cancer and often can't go to work. This is the first day off I've had in 16 days and I'm struggling to find the motivation to go get some boards to work on the walls.

At least your basement is that big. I could live on my own if I didn't have 260 a month in student loans plus 300/month in medical bills. Life fucking sucks.

28, okay job still live at home.. Used to be 400 pounds, dropped to 225 with alot of muscle now. Have never even came close to having a girlfriend, no replies from dating sites. Resort to escorts on occasion. Crushing loneliness. About to ask a girl out from work on my last day this Friday, not looking forward to the rejection.

I have a theory that drug users with power full minds will always picture life without hate or poverty. And when they compare that thought with the harsh reality. It hurts, YOU HAVE WOKEN UP

Not super depressed, but I am pretty upset that I'm dealing with migraines twice a week, which my doctor says are somehow caused by depression(?).

The real kicker is that I need to see a Neurologist but I've missed so much work from my migraines that I can't afford it. My work offers absolute shit health insurance with a $3000 deductible and an HSA that had like $300.

Currently at work laying under my desk on my lunch break because I'm going through heroin withdrawal. Hopefully this is the last time. I don't know I'll face the world without it as my crutch

You need to focus on friends for now, untill u become confident in interactions with other people. Dont ever think your ugly or not good enough for anyone. I SEEN UGLY FAT FUCKS WITH SOME FIRE BITCHES. its all about how u effect a person emotionally

Oh and everyone at work hates me because they think I'm just shirking my responsibilities because I'm lazy. So that's pretty nice.

I don't really hate my life, I hate the world we live in

>1% owns 99%
>political correctness
>propaganda left and right while most people will work their ass off their entire lives to make a few assholes richer, and their life is forever shit

Smoke some weed and drink tea m8. Dont do heroin. The chemical we get high off of is already in our heads. We just need to find safer methods of getting HIGH"

I wasn't dumb enough to buy into bank scams but I feel your pain with the medical debt. I collapsed at work once from exhaustion and brought to the hospital for them to say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ "Stop working yourself to death? Here's your bill."

This is the single fact why im depressed. Heaven is real, no its not in the clouds with angels and shit. its in our thoughts , we can manifest a world free of hate and poverty.

Go away rasheed, your mumbo gumbo nonsense isnt welcome here

Go to a doc and get on lithium,no you dont have to be bipolar to use it, It will kill 99% of your depression.If they wont presecibe it you can buy it onlyine for cheap(its a mineral found in earth)

I was clean for 3 years almost and literally just relapsed one night on a whim because I was depressed. That was a year ago. It's the boredom that really gets to me. What I love about heroin is that ANYTHING you're doing while you're high is the most fun thing in the world.

rasheed? i dont know the reference, but u sir CAN SUCK MAH DICKKKK !

you paki/indian retards that think meditation can cure EVERYTHING, when its men MEDICALLY proven that it does nothing

If you can't stay clean I'd advise going suboxone outpatient, it's great, I was in it for a year to help me break habits, get my shut in order, and enjoy life with money. I weened off with barely any withdrawal.

42 unemployed, broke, bills piling up, in a relationship that i'm not sure I want to be in, born with a skin disease that left me with terrible scarring and causes inflammation. BUT.. I have to tough it out. I will work though it all. I will go on and make the best out of this life I was given. Gotta be strong!

i never did heroin , but im not gunna lie; i used to do suboxon alot in highschool. I hear its good for people coming off of heroin. and its pretty fun.

Yeah having money would be nice. I have a decent job and I seem to piss it away so quickly and my habit is nothing compared to others

Idk how bad my habit was compared to others, ten bags a day at its peak probably

I've done it. But at the end of the day then I'm just taking another drug. What's the difference?

im american/latino , and i dont meditate. Its just common sense, HATE HURTS, LOVE FEELS GOOD MAN. you are filled with hate , thats why u went straight to judging and assuming. fucking tard

Love means nothing if it isnt reciprocated
You're just a retard letting everyone take advantage of you

Deppresion isn't a thing. Go kill yourself emo retard.

Psoriasis? I went my whole life without it till three years ago my skin gave me a huge fuck you. I wasn't so embarrassed I wanted to kill myself. But I stuck it out and am on enbrel injections, now 100% clear. But I spent so much time avoiding everyone idk how to be social anymore

Very true, you should really try smoking weed regularly. It really helps alot of shit .

I'd say that's pretty average. I'm still doing less than that but from what I hear that's average. Snorting or shooting?

If your a addict using it to get clean you don't get high at all. It's kinda weird. It just takes away withdrawal, I could take 40mg and feel the same as I did on .5mg

Someone doesnt get enough pussy

Idk it gives me panic attacks

I went from $12.8m in the bank to $13.6m in dept within three years. Back then i lived in a mansion, drove six cars and lived life. Now, i have more dept than the avg person would make in a lifetime and about to commit a fucking murder because of some other situation. Ggwp

I never used the needle thankfully. Everyone I used with did but I think I just told myself "well I may have. A problem but at least I'm not as bad as THEM!" Ya kno. To somehow justify fucking my life up.

Shit , thats true. because of the tolerance of such a powerful substance. Didnt really think that through.

i have like 20 different mental illnesses, its a surprise i havent killed anyone yet

Same here. I loved getting stoned til I quit heroin now I just get anxiety

get a job, workout.
done

Filled with regret, had a really beautiful girl from a good family, raised incredibly well. But I turned into a weed junkie bongs morning and night, she caught on and things became a train wreck. But she didn't give up on me, I still dumped her though, no idea why.

I rampaged for a few destructive years. I'm pretty mature and moderated nowadays. Buff from the gym, but I just lost all faith in myself finding another girl like that, she even lost her virginity to me.

About to become a Software Engineer after 2 years of hard work, but somethings missing, and I couldn't tell you what. I'm pretty much a shell these days, though I put on a good happy face you know.

It gives me panic attacks too, but that just means your troubled or your just not comfortable. I sometimes get panic attacks when i smoke with females or new people. or sometimes my girlfriends family, but its all in the mind. The best high i get is when im alone in my room playing video games or listening to music.

Yeah idk anyone that doesn't shoot up really. They look at me like I'm stupid but I have the same thought process as you "atleast I'm not that far gone"

Id have to think about it. I haven't boughten pot in 7 years

I screwed up with a woman I was with for 10 years. The last few years I was going through a hard time at work and other outside stuff made me one edge and irritable. I would constantly argue and yell at her. She often did bring it up that I became this shitty person but I didn't take it seriously enough.

She decided she'd had enough. Left me. Stopped talking to me. I have since made many major life changes and can really see how bad I was to her and just wished I could have seen it earlier.

She was the love of my life. She was my best friend. She was my world. She was my everything

It eats me alive on the reg knowing it was my fault. To the point where it is increasingly becoming harder and harder to cope with.

If and when she gets a new guy I will absolutely kill myself.

saw a new psychologist today
was ultimately pointless, but good to talk to someone regardless
cant seem to find anything worth the time or effort to do with my life
tbh i just want off this ride. even if i found purpose, id complete it, and still want this to end
im tired of life, tired of eating, shitting, sleeping, tired of people
im tired of burying this feeling in drugs
i just want it all to end
i want to go back to the void

You are holding too much of the past. In this world there will always be someone better. We are genetically made to become better every generation. You dont need love to make u whole. love is a upgrade a happy person can obtain.

We've all been there. Been there myself. The worst is when you see them with someone else

nothing like that, you just realize how good your brain can feel and how far from good normal life is. Of course, daily life is crap due to our current consumerist society and class struggle, in general

Wish i could guide you bro, Life really is simple once u push all the bullshit to a side. Weed helps me with my depression. You need to surround yourself with the right people and the right thoughts.

Tried a counselor. All she kept saying was i needed to go to rehab. I'm like bitch I'm here to find out why I'm upset not how to stop drinking etc. I'm drinking because I'm upset

It's encouraging to hear that it's not impossible. I'm 3 days sober. I'll see how long I can go this time.

Counseling is literally someone judging you, one counselor might think your depressed, another counselor might think otherwise.

We'll I didn't like it to say the least and thought it was a waste of 30 dollars every time I went. My brother died kind of traumatically and I would bring that up too and she would be like mhm mhm... like do you have something to say about this shit?

Heroin deff left your body with a tolerance. i suggest you smoke dabs or eat a good edible.
Your mind is use to getting totally rickity-rickity-WRECKED son. Fuck it mix some booze and smoke some dabs with some bitches or some really fun positive people. or maybe try some shrooms. im not gunna lie, when i do shrooms. it feels like im on every drug i have ever tried.

yar my last therapist said the same shit
havnt worked up the nerve to hang myself again
so now im stuck in this shithole untill i do

>daily life is crap due to our current consumerist society and class struggl
fuck no, life is shit regardless of these insignificant social or political 'issues'
being alive is suffering, the simple act of keeping your body alive is a struggle

Im deploying to Afghanistan in less than 2 weeks. I really dont want to go. I have a fiance and just the thought of being away from her for tthat long sucks balls. Im
Not worried about her cheating or anything like that.

youtube.com/watch?v=uBVkk5rW0lw

This couldn't be more false.

Good luck user. I think it's noble to serve your country I just don't think this is the country to be serving because of ((them)) being in charge. But I still respect you either way

Beacause 95% of people is either stupid dumbfucks with a right to vote or spineless autistic bitches who is "depressed"

You shouldn't feel down because of death. death is promised in this life, soo why fear it? Compare it to a new trend, everyones doing it. soo how bad can it be? If your brother was a good person, you shouldnt worry about shit. ( idont believe in heaven or hell ) but its just a life fucking fact. Good people will always be taken care of.

I'm worried about the unknown. Was he okay? Was he afraid? Did he feel alone? Is he in a better place? Does he think about me? Is he gone forever? Just a lot of unanswered questions that make me jumpy

War is simply strangers killing eachother over commands. NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON BUT JUST SHOOOOT !

so this is actually a pretty funny story.

went to a music festival and took LSD (180mcg) on the 1. day. shit was booming.
took 220mg of MDMA 2 days later on the festival. Shit was fucking intense but there was no comedown depression. Kinda confused but happy the day after. about 20 days later. I got more and more depressed over the time of 10 Day to the point where I was at a party and started crying all alone for no reason.
The night after the party my brain suddenly switches from depressed to happy in a second.
Confused but happy again. Still happy now.
I think the LSD delayed the MDMA depressions.

>You shouldn't feel down because of death
yet when one embraces this inevitability, youre marked as defective
is wanting to reach your final destination abit sooner really that strange?

Shit son, i know its confusing. But if you really search inside yourself, doesnt it feel like you will see him again ? thats what keeps my cock chubby in my jeans

The usual combination of being hugely fat, short, monstrously ugly, socially inept, emotionally unstable, cowardly, socially anxious, possibly autistic.
Whether by nature or simply the product of my depression and self hatred i am a generally unpleasant and annoying person which further drives any friends i may have made away from me.
I'm lonely but i hate company. I want physical affection but i don't like being touched. I want to be liked but i can't be nice to people. I want to be praised by i hate the attention.
My fucking job is a nightmare. Almost constant stress, more work and longer hours than everyone else in the company, a cunt of a boss who looks for an excuse to blame us.
My house is a fucking damp shoebox in a shit part of town...seriously i can touch the two main side walls with an outstretched tape measure.

I want to be somebody else entirely; everything i want is something i can't have. Nothing is available to me, i was damned at birth and my lot in life seems to be to simply exist. No joy, no love, no happiness, just existence. I basically never stood a chance at being happy.

I sometimes wonder if this is my own personal hell because hell isn't eternal pain...it's eternal torment.
I want to die but i can't do that to my parents. Even though i could easily go the rest of my life without talking to them again, frankly i'd prefer it, i still love them and they think i'm happy, they think i'm content and getting on with my life.

I just need them to die and i can be free. I'm just so tired of it all. I just want an end.

meh, it's just humanity has nearly all the technology and potential....yet now all that left for it to be squandered by being petty, foolish and just plain old retarded. anyone that says there is hope for humanity is likely severely optimistic to the point of it being a mental condition or extremely naive. (...i understand both as i havent given up an herro'd and wake up each morning hoisting the world upon my shoulders lurching forward at snails pace)

Haha ugh... that made me feel a little
better

Because I ignited the apocalypse.
Me... and now I'm going to burn in Hell for the rest of eternity for it.
I deserve it, and the funny part about Hell is that if you happen to accept it, it only gets worse. It chips away everything you hold dear until you have nothing left but yourself.
I am in so much anguish, unbelievable pain.
I had one life, one precious, beautiful gift, and I threw it away for nothing.
God is so pissed off at me that he is actually glad to see me rot in an increasingly painful abyss, yet I still continue to do so with the hopes that my life will just reset and I can try it all over again.
I will not. I will never.
I had such a beautiful opportunity too.
I am sorry everyone.

>I'm going to burn in Hell
youve been here the whole time user

yeah man , to be honest. im a young fag, i haven't lost anyone yet. but for some reason , ifeel like when i do. it wont bother me. simply because i welcome new things.

She just doesn't understand who she has in her life. Laying down my heart and she would rather be depressed and reckless. She is sad and it kills me.

I don't hate the world I hate the situation I'm in and its super depressing for me. But I have to just smile and wait for her to respond. 5 years gone cause she couldn't speak her true feelings and now that they're coming out she feels stuck. She feels lost. She is a ghost over her body.

>I SEEN UGLY FAT FUCKS WITH SOME FIRE BITCHES

no you havent, liar liar pants on fire

Ay, I had some moments where I could derive sensory pleasure and mental stimulation from the environment, from interaction, from cool, solemn introspection.
Now?
Nah. My brain is completely fried, my nerve endings are shot, I feel sick every day and my brain is twisted until it can not form a proper thought on its own.
This, here, is my only actual escape from the onslaught of voices that usher me deeper, and deeper into actual Hell.

If an individual doesnt help you achieve happiness, you need to cut your ties, even if it will hurt more. the pain is temporary, lifes too short to be stressing over a bitch dat dont give u no play son

I legitimately think I'm losing my mind. Every day, things make less sense, or too much sense, not really sure which. Everyone around me seems to have figured this whole life thing out and I just stay broken.

I'm intelligent, more so than what could be considered average, but that intelligence leads my mind to weird places. I've studied quantum physics, biology, most sciences, and delved into stranger concepts like magic and mysticism and none of it seems right.

My views of the world don't match the "social norm" and even though I feel like I'm a good person, everything corners me into being a pariah. I just don't fit anywhere in the world...

i swear to god. im from newyork , there alot of fucking people here. Picture a bitch that keeps fucking with good looking people that are usually shallow and heartless/small minded. then outta nowhere comes this ugly mother fucker with the personality of a fucking GOD, and a mindset made of gold. and a decent shrimper .BEST BELIEVE SHE GIVING UP THOSE CHEEKS

Not anyones choice but mine. If you love something let it kill it.

let it kill you*

Very fucking similar to myself, you are a powerfull mind. The only thing that keeps you going is the beautiful thoughts you have in your head. "the way things should be" have patience, it will be rewarded. some day. ( i dont believe in heaven or hell ) im as confused as you are. but good people always prosper.

i understand, but imagine a love far greater then what your feeling now. It is possible , In this life if it isn't beneficial chuck it!

You're in a simulation bro.

I generally have myself convinced that life is nothing but a learning experiment. We gather knowledge and experience to prepare us for one final introspective reflection upon death to prepare our consciousness for some kind of ascension to a higher form of existence, probably a return to the ether of creation that constitutes the universe.

I don't know, I have no evidence to prove this idea but I've always just been good at knowing how things work. People don't feel real to me. All we are is a pattern of thought extending itself through a physical body in an attempt to experience existence. How else would the universe speak but through creation?

People tell me I'm weird, but mostly people seem to like me. But I just can't connect with anyone or anything. It all just seems fake to me.

It's not so much wanting the past to return. As my life is really heading somewhere successful right now.

It's just guilt, and its tough forgiving yourself.

Got kinda depressed today, was looking at some fishes in an aquarium my faggot brother brought back home. Made me feel sad for some reason. Watching some fucking fish eat their own shit, swimming around in their own garbage, being chased off by a gray fuck fish at the bottom of the tank. Fucking stupid animals, stuck in a piece of glass swimming around in their own shit, for the entertainment of stupid fucking humans, or apes.

Humans are such shit, i fucking hate humans. Ignorant, shit throwing apes, that is what humans are. When they get burned, they really fucking whine, and they almost never learn.

There is only a few people that make the world worth living, one was my girlfriend. But she lived very far away, and It hurt more to be with her than without her almost. Fucking sucked seeing her taking a long ass trip on a train just to be with me, or the other way around.

Either way, I dont think im depressed. I used to be, a lot. But life is such shit, that its really just a meme at this point. Dying is a meme.

Im going to uni to, studying computer science, ive got things i want do do before i put a bullet in my head. Gonna give my parents a shit ton of money before i would ever go, especially my mother would get some nice things. Im too poor to buy proper gifts now. Either way, ill probably end up getting a gf or a dog later on anyways, which will lock me into living for a while more.

Life is a cunt that way, you are obliged to do things. That is what keeps me living.

On a neurological level my depression is probably the result of shitty scot-Irish-English genes, a mother straight out of mommy dearest, social isolation, and negative narratives...but on a mental level, I'm convinced some bells can't be un-rung. Once you learn the genealogy of social values, their pull is negated, and to participate in them becomes a charade.

Am I suppose to go work my ass off in law school then pull 10 hour days to amass resources to impress people I don't even really like? Fuck that, I'd rather pay bills with the gig economy then get drunk and high on the beach and read Bukowski and Hemingway and Joyce.

Let the whole world condemn me, let me all alone, I'm just gonna fuck off and enjoy my depressed life.

I don't leave my house unless it's to buy fod and cigarettes.

The funny thing is when I've quit nicotine my depression lifts, but kicking nicotine makes me feel a thousand times worse for the first few weeks - so i'm stuck.

Bro , i fuck with you soo hard. but with such strong theory, you have to add a little doubt. When i start to have strong thoughts about my existence. I reach back into my collected knowledge. Have all the science fiction/ spirituality theories implemented this mindset? Im a just a retard following what sounds cool ? But your theory is one shared amongst several intelligent people. And to be honest i rather believe this over jesus and god and the devil and what not.

It's a bit too deep for daily small talk. Nothing wrong in believing that though, its similar to my own ideas.

yare yare daze

You have to forgive youself , everyday you become a better person , smarter, tougher. It was ok bro, you fucked up. all u can do is smile and thank the lesson you learned

Thanks mindful user

>Tell me why you hate this life Sup Forums

My upbringing was disasterous though I was born into a middle class family.
I never had to suffer from hunger but I never got my favorite foods.
I had clothes and shelter, but both were ugly and uncomfortable.
It was expected that I should be grateful for everything; but nobody was ever thankful for what I did.

I was so disappointed in life at the age of nine. I "celebrated" my birthday in a hospital in a distant city. Nobody came to see me. I told the nurse I didn't want to live anymore. Doctors could only laugh about it - what does a child know about wanting to die? But they told my parents about it, and they beat me up for it when I was back "home".

Even as a teenager I was hopeless and depressed. I didn't know I had dysthymia back then. Everyone assumed that this would be normal for puberty to "be a little sad". I wasn't sad, I was completely helpless because I didn't know what was wrong with me.

TL; DR: I got no help, fucked-up applications and a degree. I couldn't convince anyone in a job interview. It took me many years to find a permanent job with new apprenticeships and courses, while I also did several temporary jobs. Now I'm sitting in a 40 hour job as an IT specialist and earning minimum wage BECAUSE I'm still sick.

the rest of my kind are uneducated, short-sighted and controlled by innate desires. I stand alone, aware of the bleak future for our species, an uninhabitable planet within 50 years.

Mass migration of cities inland, storms so powerful buildings are toppled and the sun is blacked out. War for ever-scarer water resources in the middle east and Africa, the slow decline of our agricultural system. Riots and violence when the food shortages begin.
Hunger, Thirst, Heat, Blood, Sweat, Regret.

It just makes sense. Just pure observation of how consciousness manifests points to the possibility that the universe, in all its turbulent complexity, can foster some field of conscious experience.

But at the same time the universe and I are one and the same, I am also an individual with wants and needs that have no place in the grander scheme of existence. We're all part of this big inexplicably ridiculous experiment of all creation screaming for companionship when all it knows is itself, and yet I'm almost obligated to play by society's rules.

I hate where I am in life. I'm stuck in a dead end minimum wage job, essentially just making money so I cam continue to toil away life flipping burgers, just so I can endlessly repeat the process. We humans aren't nearly as evolved as we like to believe. We built society around the idea that we are somehow more knowledgeable than other species and at the same time we are so much less.

I feel like I've had and will continue to have experiences outside that of what can be considered normal. I feel like in general I have a much broader idea of how things work than most people I come in contact with and it just makes me so apathetic.

I want desperately to just turn the whole thing off, but I lack the gall to deny the universe that experience. Who am I in a virtually endless sea of contemplative cosmic wonder, to deny the fabric of all creation the chance at having a voice?

But I also must wonder, am I just crazy? Do my ideas and other such "nonsense" really make sense or am I just missing something other people have had figured out for their entires lives... Is it really so good to understand things or is true happiness centered in the ill-informed bliss of ignorance the vast majority seem content with?

minimum wage? dude wtf ? if your a IT specialist , you atleast know something the average person doesnt. Ask for a raise , or find a better job. minimum wage is for burger flipping and cock nibbling.