Anybody else pretty sure they died? Or as close as you can get? NearDeathExp stories

Anybody else pretty sure they died? Or as close as you can get? NearDeathExp stories.

>Be me
>Drinking heavily
>Took some sleeping pills in earlier in the night when I got home, forgot I took them because of drinking
>Start smoking some really dank weed, using my bong of course.
>*blinks*
>Arms and legs feel like sand
>Freaking out and not sure why
>Start falling in on myself
>Can't figure out who I am
>Memories start to fade
>See an essence falling through an infinite sea of odd shapes only black boxes and white rings.
>I stop being, totally. There wasn't a remnant of me and I remember it clearly. No personality, no ego, no language, nothing.
>I hit the big :blank:
>Out of nowhere Life fills me like nothing ever before
>Light is in every single detector of whatever I was
>start breathing
>Puzzle pieces or the Universal equivalent realign themselves
>Gets less and less foggy
>Go to bed
>Some memories fucked, can't tell if this is real reality or not

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thatmarcusfamily.org/philosophy/Course_Websites/Readings/Wittgenstein On Certainty.pdf
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I once drank a bottle of generic Tylenol does that count?

Well did your arms go weak?
Did you lose a total sense of self?
What was your heart rate?
>I couldn't pick up a pulse before I passed out.

Well I'm a half retarded insomniac.. but I drifted into a deep sleep, maybe an hour into it my eyes shot open and I got this intense morbid feeling. my mind telling me "something's not right". I had a pretty intense time of puking/diarrhearing from the wee hours till around 8 or 9.
On my phone the whole time reading symptoms of OD/lasting effects. I'm pretty sure it didn't fuck me up anymore than I am but it was a shitty experience.
Would. Not. Recommend.

Used to take oxy when I could get it in highschool. One a day went to two or three a day. Hit a low point, no job no money, plowing a horse face for money (her parents had money) had a few 10s left and a fifth of aftershock. After like 30 mins things slowed way down, the TV sound cars outside all slow. Then I felt really heavy, I could not move my arms and legs. Then the lights went out but I could still hear. It sounded like rain but it wasn't and I could smell blood but there was none. I woke up in a hospital days later

Shot at

I took a huge amount of dxm and all the additives in cccs one day. I had been binging on it and adderal with a hefty amount of weed to boot. I had some liquor too I believe. For some reason I just wanted to be incredibly fucked up.

Well, I ended up going batshit and thinking I was Jesus and everyone evil had died in the rapture that was subconsciously coordinated by the government and that everyone left had ascended to heaven. I lost control of my body and just started doing and saying whatever I thought. I poured soda all over my head for one. Haha at one point people were telling me to sleep but I closed my eyes for 4 seconds and then figured that everyone had evolved past the need to sleep in that time.

Eventually I was taken to the hospital where I had a dangerously high heart rate. I started coming down in the doctors bed when I realized everything I had thought was a lie. I started screaming at my family and friends out of pure anger and disappointment. I just wanted to die.

Let me tell you life has been pretty shitty since that day. I am satisfied by nothing and I can't even drink or smoke weed to give me some relief. It made my memory go to shit as well. Things would have been way better if I had just died that day.

I have a fucked up memory too. I'm slow as hell, I have menial cashiering job at a shit convenience store and I'm sometimes perplexed by tasks that are asked of me. Am I fucked?

How do you guys know you actually fucked up your memory and it's not just the same as it was before/ something that'll gradually restore itself over time?

In the guy with the cold medicine story. I'm not "all the way there". I forget what a did a day ago. Don't know my own mothers birthday (can't commit it I've half heartedly tried tho). Recalling past events with any form of accuracy as to when they happened without straining myself mentally entirely, is not possible for me. Couldn't tell you what I ate for breakfast yesterday I don't remember.

I've looked into this quite a bit. So the majority of memory related function is in the hippocampus and by nmda receptors. It is very possible to destroy these in something called excitotoxicity. Essentially this is when there is a lot of glutamate around the binding site for the receptor and that causes a magnesium ion to unhinge which in turn lets more stuff into the ion channel than normal. When this happens calcium can get into the nueron and start a few reactions that eventually destroy the cell.

This can be caused by Nmda receptor antagonists like dissociatives and I think possibly alcohol. So if you have done either of those a lot there is a good chance you destroyed part of your brain. Now there is some hope I guess. The hippocampus is one of the few areas that makes new neurons every day. However a lot of these new neurons die before maturing and you only get under a thousand a day so you can imagine how insignificant that is in regards to that scale. Exercise helps a ton for keeping these alive so if you want to have any hope of recovery you need to work out.

It has been three years since my incident and though my working memory has improved a lot since then, I still have a hard time recalling words very very often. It makes socializing extremely difficult and embarrassing.

Imposter. There is only one cold medicine story here and that was me. What's your game son?

Ok I'll try to exercise but I have chronic pain. Can you recommend things that are easy on the body but still effective? Also what "mental exercises" help?
And I take at lest one Benadryl a night sometimes two. Is that bad?

The Benadryl probably doesn't affect the hippocampus as far as I know. At least not in the same way.

Mental exercises are really good too but both are needed for optimal growth. Things that involve understanding something new as opposed to merely acquiring more knowledge are generally better. Things like math, some philosophy, reading quality literature, travel is really good according to plenty of studies; even if it's just a new way to work learning more routes and places locally is very stimulating.

Walking honestly is probably enough but there is nothing better than weight lifting and running.

Do you know why you have chronic pain? Do you get sad in the winter or binge on high carb foods occasionally, or have trouble sleeping? Low serotonin has been linked with things like fibro miyalga and it is what eventually turns into melatonin( the sleepy chemical).

Learning an instrument or a new language are excellent too. Any hobby even video games can be beneficial.

I'm not sure what the cause of the pain is tbh.. I've had some tough impacts in my day. When I was around 1 years old I tumbled down a couple flight of stairs. Medical professionals said I was "ok" that's what my mother told me at least. I got a "stinger" (spinal compression) playing football my freshman year of h.s I quit after that. I've always been thin/frail and I got really into bodybuilding/lifting from age 16-19 I over did it I think I have lingering issues from that as well. I was recently in an auto accident where my car was t-boned. I've been sore as hell lately. It's in my scapula, spine, and lower back. A pressure and and dull pain. I'd like to get a really nice bed one day.
Also yes I've got terrible insomnia. It's funny you should mention travel though, I'm aweful with it I rely on my gps just to travers the city I live in. I can't remember how to get places well. I have to visit them a lot in great succession before I can remember the route (again I'm talking the city I live in). I feel like a cromagnon sometimes relying on high towers and such to find my way around if I happen to not be using my gps. Maps confuse me etc.
I'll try reading more philosophy I'm not sure if it would hold my interest or if I'd be able to comprehend it a lot. I did start reading "flowers for algernon" great book. I actually identify slightly with the protagonist, it's hard being dim with a poor memory.
I'll definitely start walking though, I have a semi physical job too (I believe I mentioned cashier). Can you recommend foods/ tell me your thoughts now. I understand you're not a medical professional but you seem fairly insightful and encouraging

That has nothing to do with death or near-death.

You were just tripping on drugs, nowhere near any kind of overdose or life threatening situation.

Fucking retard.

I wouldn't really get into philosophy unless you enjoy it for some reason. The people who write it are notoriously awful and pretentious writers talking about complex things of all sorts. I only get like 20 percent of what I read but I figure by the time I'm 80 I'll have a pretty solid grasp. It can be really frustrating though for sure.

Have you tried a chiropractor? They just pop your bones and loosen you up a bit. After what you have experienced it could help a lot. Also your stair story is potentially a big deal as I'm sure you know. Most serial killers had a serious head injury at a young age to give you an idea of the kind of effect it can have. If the doctors said you were fine I wouldn't worry about it. It won't help at this point anyway.

The pressure could be from tight muscles. You can talk to a doctor about muscle relaxers which you can take before bed to get relief. They make you sleep in the morning though.

The walking can help with your difficulty remembering directions some. Just learn your local area walking and each time try to spot something new and memorize it. What do the mailboxes look like? Who has what tree? Street names. Stuff like that. I only remember directions when I need to. If I have someone else drive or have them given to me it is never tethered so to speak. You probably just have something similar happening. Maybe you just need to make your own directions.

I've heard of that book but I've never read it. I'll check it out. You probably want to stick to things written in the 20th and 21 century unless you've got a strong habit cause the writing gets pretty intense especially 19th century. Though arguably that time has some of the best literature period. If you ever feel up for a bit of a challenge read some Dostoyevsky like crime and punishment. It's an endlessly fascinating book.

I've recently gotten into Haruki Murakami. He has a nice simple style and lots of stirring imagery. A lot of his books are slice of life stuff and it isn't very pandering or just blatant escapism. There is sadness and beauty in spite of it. I'd check out Norwegian wood if your interested.

Haha good man.. I know old raskolnicov well. I really did enjoy that book. It was fulfilling. Only one of that author I've read though.
God I really just wish I was normal. I've got a meeting coming up with a neuro dude so hopefully he can give me some good insight and medication. I just hope he understands my plight and doesn't cast me to the wayside as Doctors do sometimes.
My favorite book is 1984 by the way, very easy to comprehend and a total page turner.
I tried reading slaughterhouse 5, I didn't understand/comprehend it at all. I also didn't care for Kurt's style of writing but still, it came out in 1969 and I didn't "get it".
I met a chiropractor once, but she scared me when she started to talk about "adjusting" my spine. I've heard mixed reviews... nothing peer reviewed just Dr. Oz bs and such (don't care that much), but I heard a lot of it is quackery and can do more harm than good.

Another thing I have to consider is a profession, learning isn't easy for me so I've got to find something that I have aptitude for and won't "expose" me for being "slow". I've been thinking maybe physical therapist assistant, since I'm familiar with fitness, can interact with certain demographics with much ease/pleasure even, and I have empathy for those that are suffering pain. It's just hard to get into a non profit school for those programs (lottery system/ observation hours/ letters of rec). For profit schools are easy to get into but will debt rape you to hell and are generally considered to have lower quality instruction which is ironic almost.

Pro tip: I've heard coconut water is good for diminishing/slowing process of dementia.

had this extremely graphic dream about the end of the world a while ago. everyone just throwing their nukes at eachother. like the mexican standoff finally collapsed. in the morning we saw news of pakistan launching on india, vice versa, then afghanistan got involved. the day went on with everyone kind of in dumb shock over it, thinking that was the end of it. then russia started launching airstrikes on afghanistan, europe started launching nukes at russia. another weird pause for a few hours. then the whole thing came apart when an american sub launched a nuke at russia. news was ambiguous because everything was happening so fast and nobody knew what was happening, then california was hit, followed by nevada then idaho then texas. at that point we all knew what was happening and sirens were going off, cities being evacuated, roads totally gridlocked. i was driving a car with my mom in it, but not my 'real' mom. she was panicking and i was trying to keep her calm. i remember a really bright flash and instantly feeling like i was covered in fire and everything around me was burning, but i couldn't see. i could hear my mom screaming and the roar of everything burning around me.

then i woke up. its been a few weeks since that dream. im just telling myself that i had a really convincing nightmare.

Do you think your clairvoyant or something user? You're not.
I'm an expert on dream interpretation actually, that nightmare you're having is repressed homosexuality, you want a big meaty veiny cock in and around your mouth and anus. You're fearful that your mother will find out. Sorry to be the bearer.

Nice. You should read notes from the underground then. It's less than 200 pages which is a miracle for Russian literature. I've got the brothers K set aside for next year and it's like 700.

I agree 1984 is amazing. It was the first book I read when I started getting back into books. A lot of snobs put it down but it really is as close to perfect as a book can get. If you haven't read animal farm it's also by Orwell. And Aldous Huxley(the guy who wrote brace new world) was one of his students so there you go.

I also tried slaughterhouse 5 a year ago I think and i couldn't get into it. I've been meaning to try again someday. There must be some reason it's so widely adored.

I have the same issues my friend. I'm really awkward and my looks are a bit unfortunate. I can play the shit out of guitar but of course that's the last thing you can use practically.

I wish you didn't need a masters degree to be a librarian. That sounds so wonderful to me. You get to organize books all day and when you are not, you are reading them. You are encouraged to keep the place quiet. I have heard nowadays there is a lot of event planning and school business involved. That would be a deal breaker for me. I don't want to speak to anyone except to tell them where their book is.

i don't think im clairvoyant i just think i had a weird dream and its fun to think that maybe i died in some alternate timeline.

I may have two instances, one is when I drove into a three to four foot ditch of boulders with a four hundred pound quad; when I came to I had flipped the machine and only walked away with a dislocated left thumb, bruised up right leg, sprained left wrist, and a minor head concussion. Second is when I had a dream that the Moon was twice as close as it should have been and in a partially molten state with meteors impacting the earth in and around my small town in the remote north. please tell me I am alive, things are looking better for me now

used past expiry date truffles that had been stored at ambient temperature once two years ago, my short term memory has not recovered
I felt so blissed out on the trip though, like a child discovering the joys of moving my arm, and just being was awesome;

Exercise is great, but what mental exercices do you use to gradually get back up to speed?
I personally try to read a book and remember the gist of everything I've read so far, and do mental calculations. On the plus side I'm exponentially better at mental arithmetics than I ever was

Are you the guy from Infinite Jest?

ever read Wittgenstein?
On Certainty for example, I recommend trying it out, and trying to figure out what he means as you go along. ugh
thatmarcusfamily.org/philosophy/Course_Websites/Readings/Wittgenstein On Certainty.pdf

I'll give notes from the underground a shot.
I can recommend Luke Smithered he's a new writer, but has a bold, crafty, witty, style that is very much "with it". I would read his "kill someone" morbid title but it's a very compelling read and it made me reflect on myself. Made my heart skip a beat once or twice too, and I consider myself to be somewhat jaded.
There is also an awesome book called metamorphisis about a man who becomes a roach, it is a solid read.

I had a part time work study position in a library. It was chill, it did involve a bit more interaction with the public than I expected. I had a couple amazing coworkers, I swear I loved one (in a friend way). I ended up getting "nicely let go" by my supervisor. Basically I was a bit too incompetent, would show up late, take too long of breaks, not talkative/assertive/friendly enough. Plus I was watching a shitload of porn I began seeing people as body parts, my eyes would flit over my bosses cleavage, and womanly shape occasionally. I knew they knew too, they would adjust there attire or close there cardigan when addressing me. Sad. It's a miracle I lasted there a year, I did learn some valuable lessons, kinda blows I can't put it on my resume or use library techs/ researchers as references. Such is life.

Dude you should totally try to get a library gig though maybe just being an assistant, and work your way up.

Did you teach yourself to play guitar, I have this urge to play like pink flyod, I love their sound

Luke smithered I'll write it down. As far as the bug book goes I have a complete works of Kafka I read through every once in a while. I tried to get my buddy to read it but he hasn't finished it and it's been a year almost so I guess he just doesn't like it haha. He's pretty smart so I was hoping we could talk about it a bunch. Oh well.

the thing that bothers me about library jobs is the elusive nature of their social requirements. I am about as close to be aspergers as you can get. Many people have thought I was in the past. I'm just heavily critical and I was raised to be excessively polite to strangers. I speak very succinctly and it comes off as uninviting. I'd rather do some task with my hands I can get some skill in over and over without having to converse more than a few words with anyone. Too bad those jobs don't exist anymore.

Yeah I taught my self mostly. I started when I was 12 or so and just fell in love. At 15 I joined the jazz band at school and started a few of my own. Then I met a guy who was a professional jazz guitarist from vegas who took me touring around the state with his band. He taught me a lot of the language and from there I learned all I could about theory myself. I've been playing almost a decade now.

Pink Floyd isn't super hard. A lot of it is pretty simple really. Unless you want to solo like Gilmour. That man has such amazing expression. You could probably learn to play most of their stuff after 2 years or so of playing. A lot you could probably play after a few months.

I'll try to teach myself electric guitar then, I'll have to save up a bit for a guitar and speaker.
You mention you would like to use your hands and work alone mostly. Have you considered skilled trades? I know it's a generic question, but you there are several trades that involve work that is; mostly solitary, high paying, and gratifying (if you like the job of course).
Plumbing comes to mind, as does electrician.