/brit/

slags edition

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cara

the goal

Did a wank using olive oil

Willy smells like olive oil

she has a really nice face. might consider saving this image

why is it childish to sleep over at friend's houses to play video games or just crashing there after a long night?

do this sometimes, love the ol' slippery feel o' it

ah yes

>your sister and her friends ask you to come out out of your room while they're having a sleepover

couldn't imagine someone over 30 doing it

Fuck you Corbyn for not supporting the troops
Fuck you Corbyn for supporting the IRA and Hezbollah
Fuck you Corbyn for supporting mass immigration
Fuck you.Corbyn for wanting to get rid of our nukes
Fuck you Corbyn for being a crazy over the top feminist
Fuck you Corbyn for being a coward and not telling Britain that you back leave
Fuck you Corbyn

had a thought the other day about wanks

when youre kike'd you need lube to wank comfortably so how do they wank when theyre young?
i assume a yank could answer this one

save it, it's all yours my friend

have to wank with bacon grease cuz ill tear it otherwise (meat fat wont dry up and cerave stings)

tried this once when I was very young for the immersion factor because I was watching a porn where the girl was oiling herself in olive oil

It just left a massive stain on my trousers

thanks
my qt folder now has a whopping 50 images

absolute fucking state of y*nks

my only sister is 12 years older than me so i don't know this feel

america never ceases to amaze me

like this image

succinctly sums up the current left

>be yank
>wank using either meat fat or bacon grease

>when youre kike'd you need lube to wank comfortably
myth

...

While you were collecting qts I was mastering my 'dora collection

youtube.com/watch?v=o5oCLKFbPwA

might try animal fat for a wank but don't know how to acquire said fat
why were you wanking with your trousers on

>Labour 1967
>racist black face
>old, haggard, tired
>dirty
>poor

>Labour 2017
>progressive
>hugely successful career, wealthy
>happy
>clean, great fashion sense that doesn't conform to gender norms
>proud, defiant in the face of fascism

FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT FUCK REDDIT

Why the fuck did you have your pants on?

Personally I've perfected my wanking process

>towel over chair cushion
>4 bits of toilet paper
>bottle of whatever I feel like on the desk

hmmm yes rather delectable

whenever its brought up here its the one think cut yanks in denial admit is a problem with being cut

I love it when girls laterally flex their torso against their curvaceous and plump hips

That accentuation of curvature, and the one or two luscious folds, thats where the pinnacle of female aestheticism lies

christopher hitchens is a retard

...

who the fuck wanks at a desk

do it on the bed like a normal person

Oh and completely naked of course unless it's cold xxx

Tell me about Tim, why does he wear the bio oil?

you're watching adventure call. I am falconhoof, and I will be your guide on your quest

greetings line 1 what is your name traveler

...

do you take them off just to wank?

...

>who the fuck wanks at a desk
Someone shooting a porn flick on a desk

me
wanks are strictly business

remembering when someone sent me a video of this woman doing a striptease to 'need you tonight' by INXS

was a very nice video but sadly lost it, shame

anyone ever wanked with bio-oil here?

how short is this runt? can't be above 5 ft

Sometimes when it's cold I put on a dressing gown or a jumper if it's cold

I enjoy swapping between standing and sitting. If I'm going to do a deep-imagination lying wank then I'll lie on the floor,

can't even comprehend the thought behind this thought

what is the order of events for your average wank?

Timothy James Byrne here

he really is
>le soviet onion wasn't atheist because church was attached to stalin (???)

take out my cock and tug it

it's not childish if it's gay

greetings, tim

you awake in a kitchen

to your east is a cabinet
to your north is a door
to your south is a man in a purple tie walking towards you

what would you like to do?

has there ever been a more hit-and-miss comedian?

spent most of my wanking years wanking THROUGH the pants (shorts/trousers)

kill dentist

I was wanking for a good couple of months before I realised you could do it with only one hand

...

>have collection of nude photos and videos sent to me during my best years 17-21 including everything from strip videos to photos of girls i know that just posted them on tumblr or instagram
>categorised by name and includes several exs who hate me and will never even considering sending that kind of thing again
>laptop dies
is there an easy way to rescue them that doesn't involve going to a repair shop? will share some on here
nooooooo

what dentist, traveler

would anyone like to suck my willy?

Didn't wank until I was 21, a year after I first had sex.

Bit odd really

KILL DENTIST

this sun dried tomato pesto tastes almost identical to the regular green basil pesto

how did they manage that

Post dick

I didn't wank until I lost my virginity too, used to come so quick so glad I did but maybe overdid it a bit

when i first had a wank i didnt realise you had to be hard and i also didnt realise you did it until you cum haha

shut the fuck up cunt!

you have no weapon, traveler

may I suggest going east to see what's in the cabinet?

tories up
labour down
lib dem surge non-existent

very good

can still remember the first video I ever did wank to

farts smell like spicy chicken and seaweed

mine was a girl stripping on altavista video with a couple of heavily accented men off camera telling her what to do

its the reality of your average everyday girl enganging in slag activities like this that is a major cause of depression for me

You can probably do it yourself; pull out the hard drive, buy a sata-to-usb adapter and plug it into a computer. Are you usually good with computers?

same

Limmy's Show was shit btw

r/runts

Are you tired of winning yet?

a french one where a bunch of animated condoms fuck a sleeping girl was an early fav of mine

I used to wank by smacking the tip of my foreskin against my fingers like strumming a guitar because it made the same sound as you would hear on tv when someone jerked off.
always got VERY chaffed

no-one 'wins' with the tories in power besides the bankers the bonuses.

been watching a lot of cooking videos lately and I've noticed that Chinese food really lacks fresh vegetables.

The only green I've ever seen them use is the occasional pak choi. Everything else is just fermented bean pastes, dried spices, soy sauce, rice vinegar, etc.

I remember printing out a picture of a naked girl and hiding it under my bed

ah to be young again

did anyone else wank for a long time without being able to shoot out semen? found it a bit worrying for a while

remember the first video I actually cummed to was this playboy video where some guy was doing sick rollerblading or skateboarding tricks or something along a halfpipe while some qts started getting undressed and watched the show

Alri Russel?

no but i can usually work stuff out with guides, are the adapters expensive? might try that thanks mate

what are the chances i could break it?

it's all a good laugh, know if i finally settle down with somebody that i've probably done far worse than she ever will have

been wanking since i was only about 5 or 6 (by humping my bed to get to sleep)
first time i came was VERY scary

found a bunch of nude girl pictures my brother printed out under his bed

I like bankers more than Muslims I'll tell you that much

go east

I had a load I cut out from magazines that I kept in a mega drive box on my shelf

feelings on pints?

give the muslims the bankers bonuses

i know its silly to be upset about but ive never been able to help it

my first "orgasm" was just a weird sensation in my penis/bumhole area and then an odd feeling where I didn't feel like wanking anymore

can't remember when I first started producing semen

just found a bar of xanax in my mattress, absolutely loving it been gagging for a benzo

used to wonder how you were supposed to get sperm out of your dick as opposed to piss. was really excited when i learned how

a fan

you took too long.

the man in the purple tie has walked you right into the wall and crushed you to death.

you are dead