24 years ago today I was expelled from my mom's vagina. 24 fucking years...

24 years ago today I was expelled from my mom's vagina. 24 fucking years, and I'm still shitposting rare frogs on the Internet.

I hate birthdays...

kill yourself faggot

seriously do it

welp, happy birthday. ill take a shot for you

Happy birthday
Be happy it wasn't on 9/11

that actually made me feel a bit better. Thank you user

you should become a christian and deus vult

i'm sorry about that user.
happy birthday anyway.

Cheer up pal, as long as you're alive and sad you still have opportunities to turn things around. If you ever come around to the point of considering suicide, remember that death isn't reversible, so you might as well try out some shit you've been too scared or concerned to do (maybe ask a girl out?) After all, you can always kill yourself afterwards if things don't work out.

Either way, happy birthday from a stranger on the internet.

Happy birthday comrade! May you shitpost forever!

I also turned 24 this year, happy birthday m8.

Make this a spicy birthday and post your dick user.

slap your mum and tell her you never asked for this.

thanks guys. I love you all.

Life's a roller coaster, somtimes.
Have a nice birthday, go out to celebrate, doesn't matter if you have friends to go or not, just spend money in you.

Happy Birthday user. You'll make it my dude.

>money

not if I want to eat at the end of the month. Thanks anyways for the nice advice!

pretty sure "spend your money to celebrate" this next January [my 24th] gonna buy a shitty cheap handgun and the slowest heaviest round I can load in the barrel and off myself.

happy bday user!

Poat moar abu I fucking love this guy

Have you not been told of your savior Kendall Jenner and her Pepsi of peace?

Im 24 right now. Turning 25 in a month and doing the same thing you are. Youre not alone.
So happy birthday, you fucking loser

Not saying you should buy a car or go and travel somewhere. Eat dinner in a nice restaurant or buy a pair of new shoes is enough to make your day.

>girl rejects him, he kills himself
>she gets blamed for it
>gets alienised by her friends as "the girl who made a guy commit suicide"
>she now became a social outcast because virgin autist was going to ask a girl out before committing suicide.
I love it

i'm 31 and still here
have a weird picture

27 year old here Sup Forumsro it doesn't get any better as far as I can tell. Birthdays are for children who gives a shit just get fucked up or fuck someone or something

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Mohammed would approve

Is that you?

user, I was pretty much a shut in for longer than I'd even admit to on an anonymous forum. In the last six months I started lifting, lost weight, and got a job. On the verge of my license, I can drive but haven't had a vehicle. I went from talking to no one for years to being a fairly social guy at work.

I credit it all to weight lifting. It really changed shit around mentally for me. I can't lift for shit but it changed my opinion about myself from "I'm not good" to "I can do better" which are really two very different stances.

Just saying.

>LIFT WEIGHTS MAN! CHANGES YOUR LIFE MAN!!!

no just getting a fucking hobby does that. fuck off with your lift weights meme.

jej

Well, happy Birthday from a black guy that just happens to browse Sup Forums.

I agree, hobbies are great. You should take up noose tying.

Never really understood the hype for birthdays. Mine is on Sunday and I'm probably gonna stay home and treat myself a pack of American spirits black. Honestly, can someone explain why they're so important?

it was the first time your dick was in a pussy

the noose knot is only 1 of hundreds of knots faggot.

Do you have a family or friends that care about you?

Mfw no male dies a virgin except c section fags

Just wait, soon you'll be 26 and posting gay frogs on the internet. Like me.

Yeah my family cares but I'm a middle child so didn't receive much attention. Can't say I've always wanted it. The thing is that I save other peoples birthday in my head like a special day but mine is just another year on the earth. Am I just digging too deep? Is the over thinking causing me to not enjoy the simple things in life?

>boohoo
>it's your birthday

Mean while I came home yesterday to find my chemically imbalanced wife, bottomless sliding around on our kitchen floor like a dog scratching it's ass. When I asked what the fuck she was doing, she said she wanted to know what it felt like to be a slug. Apparently she stuffed a bunch of coconut oil in her twat and was smearing it on the floor.

So she's off her med again obviously, and I'm too broke for a divorce right now. SO FUCK YOUR BIRTHDAY WHINEY FAGGOT.

yeah this post is totally real... 100% happened, totally.

>24
sup gramps

Look she's a fucking nut bag. Initially her diagnosis in college was bipolar, then after taking meds for that for two years she had a psychotic break. Got a call from the neighbors she was naked in a tree.

I came home to ems cops and fire dept trying to get her down. They forced her into psych care that insurance didn't cover. I was down 4 grand for a 3 night stay.....

I'm sick of her shit.

Are you a fuvking girl?

Way to pick 'em, faggot

No just a depressed dude looking to spend the night on the internet

She seemed normal when I met her. She didn't start losing her shit till senior year of college. Apparently some age related hormonal imbalance. She'd break down crying in class, or start maniacal laughing at nothing.

She takes her meds till she feels normal, then is just like "oh I'm fine now, I don't need all these silly pills", so she stops and the crazy starts.

And I'm too poor right now to divorce her or keep checking her into care facilities.

Birthdays are just days, get over it.
I got you a cake anyway, Happy Birthday!

Kids ?

I turn 37 next month. It only gets worse.

It's the thought that counts. Thanks for reading my awkwardly worded post. Have my ex.

Nope but shared bank accounts, car loans, and a house 3/4 paid off.... Also live in an alimony state and she could easily claim she can't work due to her disability.... So I'd still end up supporting her

>women
>ever getting blamed for anything, much less some loser's suicide
She'd be an hero

Fuck that bitch

Not OP but ive got some youtube comments cringe for you

Can't she get SSI?

lmfao i hope this post is real you absolute loser

You can't make that shit up

I did. Several times. She's fucking crazy man, one time she pulled me to a bone education section at a museum and made me fuck her before someone came in. Thankfully bones aren't interesting so no one came in

Finally someone who shares my passion

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My birthday is this Tuesday and the binge drinking has already begun. Happy bday OP. 29 here so don't feel too bad.

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Slash the tires or pee in the gas tank pls

haha cuck

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I shit you not when I tried to take another photo the dude came out of the Chipotle and said "what are you doing you bigot?!"

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Order Dominos pizza online and in the comment section tell them its your bday, you'll get a free 2 liter coke or go to Denny's and tell them it your birthday and they'll give you a free grand slam, ask for water to drink for it to be totally free.

Happy Birthday user

Freaking hive minded cucks

happy spawn day

I spent my 21st birthday alone. my "friends" were too embarrassed to go out to drink with me.

We're here for you buddy. Life ain't all bad. Besides, rare frogs are cool. Definitely saving these pepes. Can we make this a pepe thread too, OP?

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Happy birthday