Hello Sup Forums. Give me some crazy shit to say and I will dramatically read whatever you give me...

Hello Sup Forums. Give me some crazy shit to say and I will dramatically read whatever you give me. Let's get this shit started!

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twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Bumping for interest and hope in Sup Forums

"For great Justice!"

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"dead in the middle of little italy little did we know
that we riddled two middle man who didn't do diddly" ty

>sees thread
>notabadidea.jpg
>listens to voice
>fucking gay
>im out

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*i love you*

Daddy always said to not be ashamed of our penises

NiGGER TONGUE MY ANUS!

ty

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Nice dubs.

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Find a new thread then. I'm just here to read shit. Would like to see you do the same.

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

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Nigger but say it 26 times.
for a friend thanks

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Bump

Could you say;

>What’s wrong, Ronald-kun? Could it be you’re craving my McNuggies?

Doing gods work user

Say

>CUCK ME BITCHES!

Thank you.

>posts anyway

Retard

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked? AM I BANNED WTF

Could you say "Biddle Befuddle! I've ruddled up my cuddle!

Alfie wilkinson is so gay

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily fromNarodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

thanks user

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>744696981

delivar/10

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Sorry for the late reply. Was eating some blaukraut, pork shoulder, and Spätzle.

>be me
>be 16
>happily together with very first gf
>after one year of relationship, get told that she is not sure if she's in love anymore
>FeelsBadMan.jpg
>had some ups and downs before in the relationship, so no breakup just yet
>get invited to a party, go there without gf
>get wasted as fuck and end up fucking some random girl
>tell gf a week later that we need to break up and tell no one that I cheated on her, not even her
>3 months later
>get text from the girl I fucked with, telling me that her best friend just told my ex gf about the whole thing
>mfw they lived like 200 kilometers apart
>mfw they totally randomly met, never knew each other or had any connection to each other besides me, but somehow started to talk and noticed they both know me, even though they only talked for a few hours
>mfw I got fucked by karma

Been like four years since then, but I still wonder how this shit happened. And yeah, a lot of people we both were friends with gave me shit for this after she told them.

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Nice dubs.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo.

youre a great man user

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Perhaps user but I am mearly a bored actor who fancies Sup Forums. I am a humble servant to the human language and word.

Bumping for pepsi related shit and sadistic shit (not involving children). This is Sup Forums. I know you guys are on right now.

In an Arabic voice "Young infidel child, tonight you are my wife!"

Nope. I said no children.

TRAPS ARE GAY

Item #: SCP-1983

Object Class: Keter (Presumed Neutralized)

Special Containment Procedures: Outpost 54 has been built on the land surrounding SCP-1983 and disguised as a chemical plant. The "plant" building serves as barracks for MTF Chi-13 ("Choir Boys"). All entry points into Outpost 54 are to be guarded at all times. Personnel will review Document 1983-12, which details the cover story to be given to any civilians expressing curiosity.

All MTF personnel must profess strong religious beliefs, per Chi-13 protocols. All ammunition stocked must have a silver or silver-tipped projectile. A 24-hour watch is to be maintained on the front door of SCP-1983-1. Guards are to engage any instances of SCP-1983-2 on sight. No personnel is to approach within five meters of SCP-1983-1 outside of scheduled testing protocol.

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When two men are fighting and the wife of one of them intervenes to drag her husband clear of his opponent, if she puts out her hand and catches hold of the man by his privates, you must cut off her hand and show her no mercy.

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Your regular voice
Motivation: you are fucking a prostitute
Say "Oh my god, I thought you were overpriced, but your asshole is tight as fuck! Oh god yes, lean into me and work those hips. Take that dick. YOU TAKE THAT DICK! I'M CUMMING! I'M CUMMING THIS FAST! Aaaaaaaaah Fuck! Fuck, you killed my balls! That was so god damn good!"

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Sorry about the background noise. Relatives are being assholes so I only got one shot at it.

So this is a rule against free hand jobs from married women?

Thank you, OP!

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My pleasure user.

My dick has 7 warts and kangaroos love to twerk on it all night to Mozart's greatest hits

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Sluts, sluts, I fuck sluts.
Sluts get fucked when I fuck sluts.
No "if"s, "and"s and/or but's. I fuck sluts.
I fuck sluts. Nice girls are nice but no good for nut-sucking,
You'll need a serene night to green-light a butt fucking,
But that'll be easy with sleazy old slut fucking.
Boo to the nice girls. Praise be to slut fucking!
I have a list. A list? Yes, a list of all the sluts I've missed.
I've never fucked or sucked these sluts and thus my nuts are fucking pissed.
So when I fuck the lucky slut my nut removes her from the list.
Another dumb cum-bucket struck from my nut-sucking,
Suck it slut, slut fucking bucket list.
Sluts can be white, black, brown, pink, or almond.
They can be skinny with big tits or be skinny with small ones.
Sluts can be perky, preppy or posh with their brains and their clothes all shrunk from the wash.
But other sluts are pretty and funny and smart.
These sluts can lift all your thoughts from your dick to your heart.
They can talk about science, music, or art.
They can put you together or they can pull you apart.
But don't trust these sluts, don't, don't you dare.
They'll force you to trust them and love them and care.
And then they'll be gone and then you'll be aware
Of that hole in your heart that that dumb slut left there.

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Gotta say user, this shit is funny as fuck. Thank you.

Thats it we've reached high levels of autism.

"I had sex with a black woman and now my pee looks like Sangria"

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Faaaaaaaaaaaasgggggot.
Said the little girl.
Before she fingers her sister
Who often eats dog shit.
"Dont be black" was the tail we tell.
It's like the boy who cried wolf except this story is about sucking big black dicks for chips or cookies and crap.


Nigga.

Bologna farts

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In a voice like an asshole corporate boss "user, I'm sorry, but your fired. We can't have racists working for the company it would hurt our image. So you're telling me that isn't you driving over those black lives matter protesters? You have 3 minutes to get you shit and leave.. We already have your replacement picked out. His name is Muhammad Rasheed Abdul. Yes he is sodomizing a goat next to the water cooler. Uh, yeah. You have about 2 minutes left before security kicks you out, I wouldn't waste it if I were you"

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GOD HATH DECLARED THE WHITE RACE SUPREME, NIGGERS CHINKS AND ALL OTHER INFERIOR SUBHUMAN FILTH MUST BOW DOWN AND ACCEPT SUBMISSION

AND SO A THIRD OF THE STARS FELL FROM THE HEAVENS.