My coworker just saw a glimpse of my dick on my phone.
Was trying to show her something but forgot I fired off a few dick pics earlier today and it was the first thing you could see when I unlocked it.
She didn't say anything and we awkwardly continued chatting for a little bit but now I'm worried she might tell somebody. Really don't want to lose my job or become dick-phone-guy around the office.
Here's what you do fam, you grab that photo and photoshop a peach zucchini on top of it, then leave it as your lock screen. The second one of your co-workers calls you dick-phone guy, you roll your eyes and go, 'it's not even a dick, look' and show the zucchini. Tell them that it's an in-joke that you have with your buddies and you're off scott-free.
YEa ur fucked m8
Solid advice.
probs dont be the guy who sends shooped pics of his dick to his mates, might get weird. just be like 'this girl im seeing wanted a pic of my dick and who am i not give the ladies what they want?' then moonwalk out the door
That sounds like it could work but I also see the potential for awkward spaghetti pockets
Yeah IDK weird might be preferable to losing my job. Sexual harrassment is no jooooke
You'll avoid the awkward spaghetti pockets by just owning it - if you're confident in your story than it'll seem all the more genuine.
dont fuck this up OP
Not sure that HR would be ok with "yeah that's my dick so what"
I think deny deny deny is my best bet.
She'll probably just pretend she never saw it I hope
>Not sure that HR would be ok with "yeah that's my dick so what"
Probably not, but that would be fucking legendary.
as long as u weren't like hey check out my sweet dick u should be fine. there isn't a consent issue because the dick is your own, and there isnt a harassment issue as you didnt text it to her plus she doesnt have proof, also your pictures on your phone are your intellectual property so your company can't say show us your phone or force you to delete anything. next time u see her say sorry and hope shes chill
you have to rape her now
Own it. Maybe she was impressed?
It's not your dick OP, it's a peach zucchini that you're going to put on in photoshop.
is a peach zucchini a real thing? wouldnt a normal zucchini do the trick? what about the balls? should it be two peaches and a zucchini? im still unclear on the specifics
dick-phone-guy is a pretty unic nick name though. Wear it like a crown.
fug her op
Just photoshop it so that it could be mistaken for your dick, that's it. Your phone is the only record for evidence, so if you change the evidence, you change the record.
Say it wasn't your dick. Then you can be called a faggot in real life just like you are on Sup Forums.
>is it real?
who the fuck cares dude it's a meme
I have a fuck ton of weird dumb pics on my phone
stop being so awkward faggot...
Maybe if this was a porn fantasy and not real life
"word around the office is you got a fat cock"
wait what was this from? I remember this from somewhere
Just about any office porno out there
A lot worst things you could become, she probably thought you was deliberately trying to show her your cock. She might take thaT that as an alpha move, or think you're a creepy weeb. Probably the latter. But there's always hope, just fucking rock with it and don't let it phase you.
Yeah I guess.
I'm just going to pretend it never happened and deny it if it gets brought up.
It depends how you reacted when you first unlocked the phone, did you look shocked yourself?
Too late, dick phone guy.
i like the way you think. i need you to run for president next term
>Being this autistic.
>its a meme
kek
I tried to naturally pull my phone back like I was using it to bring up the right app so the screen was out of her sight.
Even if she didn't see it she could sense I got tense all of a sudden.
Fuuuuuuck
>Really don't want to lose my job or become dick-phone-guy around the office.
you're never going to be anything BUT the dick phone guy around the office.
So? Why would you take photos of your dick? You disgusting faggot.People like you need to die.
Same thing happen to me a few months back bro, but it was a cute customer at my retail job...
she just smiled and we both acted like nothin happen... kinda happy she had seen it haha
who cares
Ah okay, well something like that happened to me too last year so I was curious how you reacted. Actually, for me the person actually saw the photos but I just said "what the fuck is that" (probably the worst thing to say). 1 year later and we're still close like nothing happened.
Is she hot, do you find her attractive, are you close with her? Cause if not then who gives a fuck OP. I doubt she's going to start telling people.
Im not OP but it reminded me of an experience i had:
>be me on road trip with friends a couple years back
>jokingly take a bad picture of my dick when its pretty small
>set it as friends lock screen
>we forget, and later ask mid 30 year old woman to take a group photo for us
>friend locks phone before handing it to her
>she kinda laughs, continues taking our picture
>as we're wrapping up she says "i hope your trip isn't too long" with a smile and twinkle in her eye
>we all laugh fucking hard
It was a great trip, would recommend to a friend.
>Is she hot?
Above average
>do you find her attractive?
Kinda
>are you close with her?
We caught up for a bite outside of work a couple of times but that's it
Because I'm a degen
Goodluck bud. At least you didn't say "that's not my dick".
>or become dick-phone-guy around the office.
you already are.
this guy gets it. delete any picture and deny it ever happened
Just go trans. No evidence if you have no dick right.
If trips OP must fug her now
EEK A PENIS: the thread
Actually a woman i work with wanted me to show her how to play songs on her phone. She's a boomer. She goes back to use it and to show me something and a huge 8.5" dick shows up on screen from a dating app. So don't worry or be stereotypical. Everybody looks at dick now but women like women and chocolate, so it's funnier
Yah but she's a woman so she'd get away with it