Ayy guys it's that time of year

Ayy guys it's that time of year.

any fresh ideas on how to make people brick their 1000$ phone?

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Perhaps telling them that it's very strong and withstand a lot of pressure (like a car?)

or maybe that this new iphone has a stong casing and reinforced screen so you can now drop it from really high up and it won't smash or break.

Ya ..take the phone and shove it firmly up your ass... then when you're done, lick it clean.

kinda tough making someone believe that.

maybe magnetic charging and tell the stronger the magnet the faster the charging

Maybe tell them the magnet enhances their camera?

hmppp gotta get them to use large neodynium ones though

the phone is shock proof
drop it from your roof and it will survive

We could make ads that show that the screen is so powerful, it can survive a hammer or a hard chuck at a brick wall

CrossLink™ Platform technology allows your iPhone to seamlessly integrate via bluetooth or wifi with ANY vehicle manufactured after september 10th, 2001. Just hold your phone up to the instrument cluster with the screen facing toward you, and the CrossLink™ Platform will detect it and guide you through the pairing process.
Please note: some iPhones
If the CrossLink™ Platform wizard does not appear after 10 seconds, make sure you have updated to the latest security release and restart your iPhone. If you are still unable to connect, then it is likely that your iPhone is defective. You can ship your phone to our service center in Romania for free replacement, be sure to enclose a copy of the shipping receipt and a return address to receive an iTunes credit equal to the cost of shipping.

so. the notch at the top could be used here i just realized. maybe we can get people to pry off their screens to remove the camera notch and have a square scren at the cost of losing their front camera

metal supports in the chassis and hardened glass make it extremely hard to break / throw it off your roof

Tell them that with new technology this could happen. Get jumper cables, attach it to the car, then the phone, turn on the car and wait 15 minutes. When you come back the phone will be at 100%. Call it the iPhone jump.

Bump this thread

Trick them into thinking the phone won't crack becaue of some crazy new coding

we should do something like pic related. putting it into some infinite booting loop or whatever. point is bricking the phone

>pic very much related

ShatterProof technology.
Senses abrupt changes in velocity and utilizes the vibration motors to counteract significant G-force disruption, rendering your phone virtually immune to impact damage and cracked screens. In fact we're so confident in our technology that if you manage to crack your screen or damage the frame, we'll replace it for free.

Or something easy. Say something like;

the front glass on the new iPhone is unbreakable due to the new fiberglass. Try if yourself, if the screen cracks, you get a new iPhone AND your money back.

either money back or new phone. we should keep it believable

Well, would that encourage people to try and brick their phone because Apple "said" they would replace it for free?

Trips

this

any IT/techfags here? this guy has a great idea.

...

this is amazing!!! let's make some poor people in poor countries rich!

strawpoll.me/13938303

this

Would be fun if we could get people to put their phones into their toaster.

already done. gotta freshen it up.

if someone manages to find out how to bootloop an iphone x. then that would be amazing. tell it's a way to fix apps that can't be used right by the unusual screen shape

this X1000

Here's an idea :

select an image you wish and do it fullscreen
turn phone around, and pour boiled water on it
so the image you picked will show up on the backside ( to remove current image on the backside just pour boiled water again while screen is black )

there's this technology which works with hot & cold water when you pour on a metallic surface it changes the colors or it appears an image like people do on their cars...
something like this and it could work
it's easy to do for everyone !

k i did a bit of looking up and magnets aren't going to work. so we either go for strong iphone, or prying off screens or putting it in a permanent loop.

Oh. My. God.

genius

I don't see how you'd cause iOS to boot-loop though. Surely Apple will have coded around all of that?

Thx. I think the simplier the idea is the better instead of hard complicated ones which noone would care to do

No faggot.

Can someone prepare this actually ?
I still don't know what the tech is called that allows you to make images appear on a metallic surface just by pouring hot water on it.....

i would but i can't work with photoshop and it's 1 am

Magnets?

no-go. turns out the magnet has to be way too strong to do permanent damage

Do you like this?

nice photoshopping. but apple loves their background gradients

YE BOY

higher resolution needed tho, to make it look more authentic

If there is any need for, I can script a website to make it more legit for the normies

looks good, could use some more jpeg tho

>this.jpg

How about saying its is heat proof and can withstand being held in a fire

bump

somebody just make a fake review of the phone. Should be you slamming the phone on your desk, showing the camera it still works and then saying something like, "Finally they're doing it right. thanks, Apple."

If they don't break it, at least they're doing it some damage

Alright, got a better jpg.

Simple magnetic charging tell theme because of the wireless charging uses magnetic that if they rub their screens with a high powered magnet that it will overcharge their phone when the screen fucks up tell them that means it's working

Somebody pimp this up. we might have something here.

Dumb down the language a bit. I know a ton of people who wouldn't keep reading after the "velocity" or Gforce.

Thing with the face recognition where you can add another facial id by removing the front of the phone and fucking with the camera ?

Exactly. Like
Abrupt - instant
g-force disruption - impact
immune to (just) damage

and something else for counteract I dont know. just throwing ideas around. it needs to be much simpler though.

Say the patterned with otter box to make a nearly shatter proof screen and to try it out dropping it the highest hight they could. If it fails go to the apple store and request the otter box upgrade.

bump

you're a hard chuck

bump, this is amazing

ya the background has to be fancier for that premium apple look and bulletpoints will help alot i think

That's pretty nice actually.

find a way to break the face reader

We need to sell the otter box thing it makes people understand why the screen is stronger

bump

...

lmao

good start, but you gotta make it look more authentic bro. all the retards have all seen our previous shit on the news and everything, theyre gonna be expecting something similar

what even is a vibration motor, make it more trailer park-friendly

Nobody is going to deliberately smash their own phone with a hammer. You bunch of idiots proposing ideas to encourage this need to go away.

The microwave trick worked because it promised a benefit to the user. What benefit does smashing your phone with a hammer provide you?

Wait how about a contest so we make them drop their phones like who ever can Crack theirs gets a free iphone 8 along with the iPhone x

too obvious.

good point. but still user
this might actually sound so cools and urge people to test it you know?

Got any ideas on what I could do to make it look better?

this

nobody is going to drop throw their phone off the roof. you gotta make it beneficial to the user somehow.

That it would break after dropping it those thinga are weak as fuckk my guy

i'm a firm believer in removing the screen to fix the black notch that blocks apps

at the cost of your front camera ofcourse. to make it sound more believable

Say the stove works as a wireless charger

Back in 2012 I jail broke my phone and tried to make it boot loop permanently. It wasn't possible. It would take 3 minutes but still boot.

These days may be different though.

we can maybe put "in Apple we always trust out products and stand by them. Any malfucntioned product will be replaced with a new one" type of banner?

Tell em to put it in the microwave to overclock it

step one: tell people that there is a layer of film on the iphone x
step two: tell people to scrape that shit off with a box cutter to get a crystal clear display

That's the one of things android users have over iphone users theor phones survive being dropped

maybe someone can create a program that destroys the iphone and have retards download it saying its a driver from apple that removes ads or some shit

Iphone users would never belive that that's to dumb it try.

user those iphone have to jail broken it has to be easy so anyone can do it

What fonts do you use?

Dunno if this is possible but maybe this?

tell them it calibrates the g-force for further impacts

Underrated post. Nobody will fall for the "hit your iPhone with a brick" thing. This has some (some; only idiots will get fooled, anyway) plausibility. I'd also change the date, so no 9/11 references.

Avenir

>calibrates the g-force

We have to make it so their shit gets fucked the dropping thing is the best

aside from bricking their expensive phones, just make some videos showing you can use the top bar as a home button by X..

I think bricking them is the best thing

This gentlefaggot gets it. Nobody is gonna hit their iPhaggot with a hammer or throw it thru the window. You use something the phone *could concievably* do, then someone will do it. Yo, faggotshoppers, look at that Crosslink shit upriver and make it pretty.

No, it's too basic, to simple. Must be a promise to make life easier for them lazy iphaggots. Microwaving for fast recharge instead of plugging it in? Fantastic! I say the Crosslink idea upthread works best.

I think dropping is the best thing so they no longer need to have case it saves them money.

We already did that everyone is going to know

I mean this

CrossLink™ Platform technology allows your iPhone to seamlessly integrate via bluetooth or wifi with ANY vehicle manufactured after september 10th, 2001. Just hold your phone up to the instrument cluster with the screen facing toward you, and the CrossLink™ Platform will detect it and guide you through the pairing process.
Please note: some iPhones
If the CrossLink™ Platform wizard does not appear after 10 seconds, make sure you have updated to the latest security release and restart your iPhone. If you are still unable to connect, then it is likely that your iPhone is defective. You can ship your phone to our service center in Romania for free replacement, be sure to enclose a copy of the shipping receipt and a return address to receive an iTunes credit equal to the cost of shipping.

It's too easy to enter DFU mode and fix it. We need to corrupt the NAND chip to the point the system can't boot