Good evening, user. How are things? Feeling down? Need a hug?

Good evening, user. How are things? Feeling down? Need a hug?

Let's talk.

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>Page 7.
Nope.

Motivate me right now to finish up my applications

Hey, if nobody wants it, it shouldn't be here.

My internet is really slow again anyway.

I don't know why I did it. Maybe I hate myself. Maybe I think I deserve to die. But I watched 13 reasons why. I wanted to cry. I havent cried in so long. But I knew it would trigger my PTSD. I still did it. I was mostly okay until tape 11. "Why didn't you say this to me when I was still alive?"

youtu.be/m7LSOrqXsNI

It's always nice to see you. I don't have much to say, but thank you for being here for us when most aren't.

How are you doing tonight, OP?

Do it now! When they're done, you'll be able to move on to something fun. You'll also feel good about having completed something important. So leave Sup Forums now, and don't come back until all your applications are finished.

Is it a documentary, or a movie? I've heard of it a few times, and most of what I heard was not positive. Wasn't it about a girl who killed herself in order to make a bunch of other people feel bad?

Sometimes I try. Don't compare me to anyone else. I'm glad you appreciate it, user.

Pretty good. Very tired. I had a lot to do today, and I did it all.

Yeah, I know the pain of busting ass all day. Least you can kick back and relax though

thanks nausicaa user. Closing tab now

Don't think in terms of nobody wanting it. People probably just missed it which will only get worse once it travels down the catalog. And considering people are starting to trickle in, that's probably it. Anyways, how are you doing tonight, friendo? How did all those meet ups go?

Just got friendzoned by a chick that previously told me she loved me

She killed herself but as a note she left 13 tapes. Each tape was a person/reason she killed herself. There's one part where the main character is looking bake to the time where his tape happened. Originally they were love and about to have sex. At some point, because of all the shit the girl went through, she freaked out and told him to go away. He did. In the present he was able to use this instance to make the claim that all the deaths and bad things that happened since then could have been prevented if he just stayed. So he has another flashback but this time its more like a day dream. The same thing happens but this time he refuses to leave. He tells he loves her and that he'll never hurt her. Then she looks at him and says "Why didn't you say this to me when I was still alive?" 1/3rd of my nightmares are almost exactly this scene. I watched this a few days ago and I'm still fucked up about it.

Finally. It feels good.

Good luck. Enjoy yourself when you're done. I might still be around, if you want to talk afterwards.

I guess that could be it, yeah.

Two of them didn't work out; people got sick. But I got everything else done, and scored some parts for a later project. It was hard. But tying up loose ends was worth it.

Shit happens, user. Nothing you can do but move on from her. Do you feel bad about it?

Huh.

Man, that's bad. Did you never resolve your guilt and regret for that past experience? Does it still weigh heavily on you?

I feel fucking horrible about it, I just finished fighting depression and now I have to deal with this shit. sucks.

Look, other people are going to make decisions that you can't affect. It's hard, but you need to stop letting the things other people do drag you down and make you miserable. It's not your fault, and you shouldn't feel that way about it.

Things just aren't going to work with her.

I advise most people to stay away from that series. It's emotionally powerful in the worst possible way. It promotes that suicide should be used as a form of retaliation for wrongdoings. Teenage years are turbulent for everyone, and I mean everyone, but some need psychological treatment to cope if their world is falling apart around them. They should be promoting the good of psychiatric care instead of a revenge story.

Suicide is almost never an option. The only exception is religious or moral martyrdom, and even then, it should only be limited to your life alone.

Hey fenn, how are you?

Excellent taste my friend.

if you haven't read pic related you are missing out on some patrician content

I've been been depressed since I was 13. There was not much bad about my life. Nothing obvious. Im 18 now. I often think about suicide. I slowly lost most of my friends through that time. I just stopped hanging out with people in general. I still have friends but I only hang out with them online. My existencial crysis is completely destroying me since I was a small kid. I was a very smart kid too which did not help. Sometimes the feelings of melancholy are too strong.

Well that sucks. I guess a silver lining is that you were able to dedicate more time to the friends that were left. And what do you mean by scored some parts?

Yeah, that aligns with what I've heard of it.

Hm. People trying to guilt other people into acting on something.

I'm doing pretty well tonight. How are you, user?

Thank you, user. Are you a Ghibli/Miyazaki fan?

What's the manga called, user?

It sounds to me like you're losing hope due to lethargy and lack of drive. Do you feel like you have a purpose to strive towards and fulfill? Not having that can be a pretty big factor in emotional instability.

Yes, that went well. I picked up a transformer and a big capacitor. One of my friends gave them to me as I left.

How could I resolve that guilt? She texted me. She wanted me to save her. I didn't get in my car fast enough. I didn't leave fast enough. I didn't drive fast enough. If I went as soon as I got the text my girlfriend would still be alive. Her bestfriend would still be happy. Her bestfriend wouldn't have lost her boyfriend. All her friends wouldn't have lost the best friend anyone can ask for.

I've been depressed a long time. I've never seen a future for myself. I just made people happy and attempted suicide every so often. But when I met her I could see a future. As corny as it sounds, I knew she was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life wife. I wanted to.

You're jewish we get it.

But it is an option. Just because you say it isn't doesn't mean it isn't. It's always an option.

Thats fucking hard man, feels bad.

Well there are things that I'd like to do and achieve but it always comes down to all being meaningless. The more I understand about existance and the universe the more depressed I get.

Ah. So I take it you're either working or studying electrical engineering or something similar?

You really don't know what an opinion is, do you?

Just recovered from being sick, throat hurt nonstop to the point where I couldn't breathe without it hurting, so that's not fun.

I'd love a hug

It's not your fault. There's no guarantee you could have saved her if you hadn't gotten there, and the situation was stacked against you.

There was no way to win.

You need to look for a new future, user. A new way forward. You need to move past her. Don't forget, don't try to leave her behind completely. But stop letting her memory hold you back. She wouldn't want that.

Okay.

True. But is it a good option?

Maybe it is.

Who gives a fuck about existence and the universe? What's happening tomorrow? Who will you meet, what do you have to do? That's what matters.

Plan around yourself and the things around you. Don't bother with bullshit about "the universe" and "the vastness of existence" and "the ultimate meaninglessness of every action". None of that matters.

Not really. It's more of a hobby.

I think he does, and he voiced a different one.

Damn, that's miserable user. *hugs you tightly*

I hate being sick. Glad it's over for you now.

This is really silly and not really serious I know but I just really want suggestions on how to deal with this in a healthy way since "Just stop" isn't really going to help.
I don't know what it is but lately I've been extremely interested and thrilled by the idea of taking things that don't strictly belong to me, of course, ever since I was a young lad I'd always thought the idea of just digging through someone's belongings is interesting but now I'm actually looking for chances to take things and I don't know why. I'm certainly not a klep or anything, but I've spent the last few nights after work digging through dumpsters for anything interesting (Found an unopened pack of AA batteries!) Tonight I ended up going to a public park and looked at all the clothes left there, I found a nice looking shirt in my size and brought it home with me, it is currently in the wash.

Nausicaa is amazing

should i get mazda 3 or honda civic :)

Yea, so, I'm gonna kill myself on the same day she did. The same way. If there is an afterlife, I'll be with her again. If there isn't, well at least I don't have to feel this anymore.

There is a guarantee. She had been dead for 30 minutes. If i went as soon as I got the text I would have been there on time. It feels like everything that was me has been stolen from me. I just kind of exist now. But I can't do it anymore. If she doesn't want that then maybe she shouldn't have killed herself. Maybe she shouldn't have had me doing cpr on a cold body that I thought said my name.

I have to have psychological testing done sometime in the next two weeks and I'm not looking forward to it. It's supposed to be five hours long, and they're testing everything from ADHD to my IQ. I'm not looking forward to it at all, but my insurance requires that I have these tests done to be grandfathered in on my father's private insurance. I've been formally diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I have to have accommodations at my university, but even with that paperwork I'll still need to have the testing done.

I'm not looking forward to it, but it has to be done if I want to keep the health insurance I have.

Even so, I can already tell you're a smarter and braver man than I am. Just the thought of fiddling with something as fast and potentially dangerous as electricity scares the shit out of me. Even if it's on the smaller scale. I'd rather live in the dark than DIYing my own electricity.

I'm not even allowed the privilege to know where she's buried because her entire family blames me too.

Why do they blame you?

After not having a case or screen protector on my phone for a while (because it wasn't necessary at the time) I fucking broke the screen because the pockets on my fucking shorts were too small that whenever I sit it falls out. so yeah. also no insurance on it. Feels bad man...

Hah, you're doing the right things in my book, user. I picked up a microwave from a trash can a few weeks ago and stripped it for parts. At potlucks if there's unclaimed food at the end I take it home.

I don't see anything wrong with it; in everyone else's eyes it's just trash. If you can get some use out of it, that's great. Who cares? Keep taking stuff.

Debatable, but I agree.

Dunno user, what are the key differences between them? What are you looking for in a car?

How could she know that you would react this way, and never get over her? Did she care for anyone but herself? You're centering everything around her, and that's not a good thing to do to anyone.

Oh boy. Good luck, user. I hope it isn't too torturous.

Hah, it scares the shit out of me too. Sometimes I know what I'm doing.

You can't hurt anything with a 9 volt battery though. Mess around with one of those, and a breadboard and/or Arduino. If you've got a good tutorial to work with, you can learn a lot of useful stuff, and get past that fear.

This situation is stacked against you, user. You can't win. You couldn't have won. It's a lose-lose for everyone.

They blame you, but you shouldn't blame yourself. Nobody should be taking the blame for this.

Damn. I hope it still works... I think you can replace the glass on those, can't you? You might need to take it to a shop for that though.

Could be worse.

Never stop doing these man, a lot of people just need to get things off their chest

Because it was my fault. If heaven is real, do you think they let her in? Do you think they'll let me in?

I promised her that she went, I would go to. I need to keep that promise.

Good evening!

Sorry if my respones are a little confusing. I'm currently drinking and smoking away the pain.

I don't think I can do them forever, user. And lately my internet has gotten really slow, so it's been much more difficult these past few days.

Okay then. You won't regret not moving on and having a new life? Is it best to stay here and end it without progress or satisfaction?

I guess that's not so bad. Go ahead man, if that's what's right.

Hey Mantis. Thanks for coming again. I'm sorry, I forgot to send you a link this time.

It's okay man. At least those small things can give you some slight relief.

You ever hear of that guy Electroboom? I'm fairly certain he's done more to reinforce my fears over electricity than any other person alive today. Even though the majority of the times he shorts or blows something up are intentional, even a single oversight by someone less experienced than him can fuck you up big time. I'll just pay you next time I need something done.

Neither.
You need to have a 1959 Eldorado.

>Because it was my fault.

In what way? And don't go over that bullshit about being too late again. Give me an actual reason if you're going to be blaming yourself like that.

Ive wanted to die all my life. There's no future to regret. I just wanted to tell someone.

Electroboom is the only youtube channel I watch. I'm just like him, but I don't electrocute myself.

My thinking was that you would try to create a new future instead of accepting this as a set course, but okay. I can't change your mind. Sorry man.

Life still sucks and the world is a shithole and people really suck but we can get drunk and party and make it suck less and have a gay ole time it's ok everything will be ok and have an answer and solution and resolution and outlet.......

All you life? Why?

Is there anyone who cares about or relies on you?

The thing is, beer and bitches seem like the key to succeeding in shithole earth. But they aren't. Seek satisfaction in the bubble you live in. Strive towards something that will leave you feeling fulfilled.

Some people really don't suck. But they're hard to find.

Thanks for these threads Fenn. We really appreciate it. I can always count on your threads to make me feel better.

Okay.

>what are the key differences between them >What are you looking for in a car?
mazda 3 has better handling (more fun to drive)
honda civic has a little more space. i am looking for a good car and i heard they are both reliable and safe :) they both get around 35 MPG

:)

I'll believe you're just like him when you DIY your very own taser out of a drill battery, ignition coil and nails, a vacuum chamber out of a literal vacuum cleaner, and a scaled down rail and coil gun. Unless you already have in which case I look like a jackass.

Shortly into our relationship I left her for someone else. I don't know why I did it. Maybe I was scared. Maybe I didn't feel like I deserved her. I gave her hope that a stranger found her worthwhile and then took it away. She tried to kill herself two days before it and I stopped her. Instead of telling anybody, calling anyone, taking her knife, taking her alcohol. staying with her, I did nothing. I did nothing. The next couple days she was elated. I knew this something that happened to people before they killed themselves but I still did nothing. Two days later she texts me that she wants to die and for 30 minutes I do nothing. I didn't want to believe she was capable. I didn't want to believe that I was responsible but she was capable and I failed to save her. I had so many chances and I did nothing every time. She trusted me, she loved me and I did absolutely fucking nothing.

I was never a happy kid. By the time I got to middle school I was pretty apathetic. In the 7th grade I found a best friend. He killed himself. I then wen't on to abusive relationships, drugs, alcohol, seeking attention from my absent parents, and trying to get validation from my peers. Nothing worked. I attempted a couple times but they were mostly gestures and not actual attempts. Death was to scary. But I'm not scared anymore.

Downed 4 Screwdrivers, I'm in bed while my family is laughing and having fun, and I just generally feel like hanging myself from a house beam right around now

Have you ever gone to therapy for any of this?

Flip a coin if it's that close. I'd get the Mazda, if you can find one reasonably priced and in good condition.

Working on a rail gun (slowly), current project is an arc furnace. Did the tazer with a UPS transformer and some bits of carbon.

Haven't made a vacuum chamber, but I've never had any interest in that. Electricity is where it's at.

Are you miserable because you aren't participating, user? Get some rest, and have a good time with your family tomorrow night. Don't hold tonight against yourself.

Dad died
I'm being evicted from my home because of a shitty reason

yes I need a hug

also just want life to stop kicking me while I'm down.

Chek'd
No wonder. Alcohol is a depressant, after all. Sleep it off, you'll feel better tomorrow.

I've been in therapy for five years. It's the same cycle. I'm real sad. I attempt suicide. I go to therapy. I make progress. I'm real sad. I attempt suicide. etc.

>Shortly into our relationship I left her for someone else.

You're clearly not thinking straight and have deified her after her death. She was a real person who was responsible for her own actions. It was not your responsibility to be in control of her. And you clearly weren't this in love with her before she killed herself.

Before you do anything that can't be taken back, you should take a step back and think over things again. Keep your emotions out of it and think about things logically.

*hugs you tightly*

Life will never stop kicking you. Damn near broke my neck once.

You just have to deal with the black eyes life gives you sometimes, user. It's hard, it's miserable. It won't change. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for the loss of your father.
Why are they trying to evict you?

If I try to participate, I just can't because I have no common ground and the shit they talk about gets me depressed
It's been like this for a week, only drank today
Thank you, though

we need you Sup Forums.

thanks OP, I just want life to give me a tiny OUNCE of a breather.

CanceloGGG boxing match is soon, going to get my drink on

Long story short my room mate was dating my sister and now he wants me out cause they broke up and he owns the place so I can't fight it.

I see. Have they ever tried any medications with you? After all, this might be a simple chemical imbalance.

Fuck. That really sucks. Do you have another place lined up? Do you have friends, family you can stay with for a while?

What topics might you introduce that could steer the conversations in a more positive direction? It'll never get better if you don't try.

nypa

It won't work. That's been done so much it has become a meme, even to normies.

You'll have to force out a space, user. You can never expect to be given one.

Pumped?

no recently since my dad passed he was the only family I could call on and I was only given 30 days to move out so I have bene having trouble finding a place on such short notice I have 13 days left or else I'm going to be on the street I think.

>Google arc furnace.
>Using electricity to heat stuff to half the temperature of the surface of the sun.
Nope. Fuck everything about that. I draw the line at lava. Have you done any other projects like that that deviate from things he's done?

Not many.
Most of my interests are just in music, older stuff at that, and my sister is the one who travels and lives at college and has a whole lot of experience in life.
I just feel like a fucking straggler who nobody really wants around but at least puts up with because something could come of it one day.
I don't know, my mind is weird

Sorry babe, I fell asleep in the middle of our first date last night. You were for our second date? I got something special for you. We're going to see how veal is made!

You cant say no to trips, can you baby?

I mess around with Arduino sometimes, but I've never done anything serious with it. I want to build a working Raspberry Pi machine. About a year ago I made a pretty decent looking steampunk gun for halloween. It had moving parts, and lit up, and all that. Fun to make.

Transformers, those are fun. Lots of fun.

If you don't have much to talk about, make other people talk. Ask them about things you know are important to them, and act interested. Keep them talking about what they love. Ask your sister about what she's doing in college.

Well, I can't say no to trips. How is veal made?

That really sucks too. Are there any boarding houses in your area? I once found a place by looking up "Single Rooms to Rent"
It certainly wasn't the best place ever, but I had a roof..

hello hello

listen OP, i used to love the movie gremlins. its still ok but not the best movie I've ever seen. anyway. i met this girl who also loves the movie gremlins. she said that it reminds her of her childhood. and for some reason the mogwai really turn her on. i ask how thats possible. the mogwai have absolutely no sexual features. no rounded ass, no raised breasts, no genetalia of any type. could it possibly be the fact that they transform into those slimy green gremlins? what is it? she refused tell me. i spent many nights afterwards watching gremlins and hoping maybe to get turned on a little bit. one night i got half a chub but I've since realized that was most likely just the air conditioner. eventually i couldnt take the mystery anymore. i MUST know what turns her on about the movie gremlins, if for no other reason than i want to be able to fuck a mogwai in the comfort of my own home. why should she be able to get so turned on by gremlins but I'm not even allowed to experience it? i corner her. she backs up. scared. my slow approach has her shaking and asking, "logan, whats gotten into u?" i tell her this is the end of the line. she must tell me why gremlins makes her pussy drip. here and now is the time or she will die by my average sized cock. I can tell that she's finally about to tell me, she's finally about to break. she takes a deep breath and dramatic music begins to play from the lunch room loud speakers across from mrs. shabotski's 5th grade class ( this was the song:youtu.be/dPiEVyd3-4k ) above the dulcid tones she tells me the thing i swore never to repeat. but i will tell it to you hear bros. i will tell it to you from my death bed. i will tell you the sexiest thing I've ever heard. that girl lets the real life gizmo live in her pussy. shit gets wild after midnight.

Hello. How are you tonight?

Okay.

I'm doing my best! how are you, mister Fenn?

Thanks for the advice
Most of the time, her, her boyfriend, and my Dad will just get drunk and start playing music and I just get a headache after a while, so there's not much there
Plus, my sister just has this really annoying, pretentious attitude which is just awful
Mix that with a moody, bitchy 19 year old spilling his guts on Sup Forums because nobody else gives a shit unless I shell out hundreds of dollars for a therapist or something, and you've got not too fun of a night for me

Its pretty neat. They take baby calves, lock them to the ground for 5 months so they dont get any exercise and then butcher them so you have the most tender meat. Sound like fun?

You know, you could probably make some pretty decent pocket change on the side if you used your electrical wizardry skills and sold personalized trinkets like your steampunk gun. I'm sure you could find plenty of people who would be more than happy to pay for some personalized gadget. I guess it would all depend on the price of parts vs what you'd end up selling it for, though.

...

...

...

I'm trying. Pretty tired, but still alive. Today was a long day.

That does sound pretty miserable... therapy can get pretty cheap if your insurance covers it, you know.

Do you have friends you can hang out with, or people who might become your friends if you spent more time with them?

Sounds like a lot of fun. How big are the facilities? Do they pack them close together, or would that put them at too high a risk for disease?

It didn't look anywhere near good enough to sell. If I move past spray painted nerf guns with motors and leds, I'll consider trying to make money off it. It would certainly be cheap; the materials were all just junk I had lying around from things I had taken apart.

Bump it to death. Go on.

that's good! please keep living

The more feces the better. That's how I like my tender calves. They know their consumer base very well.