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Sup Sup Forums

I held my girlfriend in my arms as she bled to death just over a year ago and I'm totally not over it.

I feel guilty because she was still alive when i initially found her and the EMT said i couldve saved her if i'd put pressure on the wounds. I'm a car salesman not a doctor and i just walked through the door to find my partner in the tub with slashed wrists. I just freaked the fuck out, i don't remember anything really between phoning the ambulance and the paramedics dragging me off of her corpse.

I cant sleep and when i do i have the same recurring nightmare basically reliving it and i wake up rekt. I can't live without her, I miss her and I pretty much want to kill myself.

I just cant get the idea out of my head that theres an (admittedly small) chance of an afterlife where i can see her again. And if not, meh, maybe whatever death is beats drinking and smoking weed every night and crying into old photos.


How do i stop being a pathetic fuck?

Pic related, the shirt i was wearing the day it happened.

Other urls found in this thread:

beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/types-of-anxiety/ptsd
petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/do-not-pass-hr672s198-combating-european-anti-semitism-act-2017
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

you cant blame yourself for the past ESPECIALLY if you didn't know better you are not a professional. for what its worth she would want you to live a happy life and do as much as you possibly can with the short time you have, so many people have it worse than you and wish they had more time even if its to find what they want.

Im really sorry man, try and go to therapy of some sort. They will try to help you get over it, and try to pick up a new hobby in the meantime. It will help you move your focus into something better. No matter what anyone else says, don't kill yourself or harm yourself im any way, ok?

Periods are just a consequence of nature. Don’t blame yourself for it OP.

Probably gonna need to put some baking soda on that shirt and soak it before washing with biological detergent.

if this is legit..

you have PTSD, and you are no pathetic.

life is an odd journey, your intention was never for her to die - not your fault.

remember the good times, a lot of other people have gone through the same.

and seek help.

Honestly theres quite a bit of anger there too. A lot of "how could she do this to me". And then guilt about that anger. And then guilt about not saving her and regrets about our relationship and it just. It sounds so easy to just let it all slide but, i literally cant.

I mean, i even feel guilty knowing she wouldnt love me in the state i am now but not having any clue how to get better.

Fucked man. S'all just fucked.

If christianity is the true religon and afterlife then her goose is cooked as suicides go to hell. but that's fine I guess seeing as pretty much everyone is going to hell unless you repent right before the end If you hope theres an afterlife you need to hope it's a neutral afterlife where you can chill with her and if you moveon you can chill with that girl too and have threesomes etc.

beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/types-of-anxiety/ptsd

The good times hurt too. I think about how great it was and about how ill never have that again and it just makes it worse. I've tried to move on and date other people but between the fact im basically a functioning alcoholic and drug addict who wakes up crying in the middle of the night that hasnt gone too well, lmao

how old was she and how old were you at the time?

fucking kys op

the world dosent need your pussy genes

Cannabis...

I was 20, she was 17.

Before anyone says it, it's legal in my country lmao

For sure OP you won't be able to meet her committing suicide...

It's not about being a professional, stupid. It's common sense:
She is bleeding? Put pressure on the wounds, idiot.
To some degree, OP is a murderer, accountable for the death of some random bitch, all because he did nothing to prevent her death.

How do you KNOW that tho. When it comes to death we are grasping at straws because nobody knows what death is until they die. I figure meh, it has to be at least a minute possibility

user, I'm not a doctor or any stuff like that, but with the amount of blood loss even if you had put pressure on the wounds she probably had agood chance of losing so much blood it endedup causing brain damage. She likely would've been potato for the rest of her life if you had saved her. death mightve been preferable at that point

Did you take pictures of it and why haven;t you posted them yet faggot

And what third world country are you from where people are illiterate enough to actually use petty excuses like "hurr I didn't know that tonstop bleeding you only have to put pressure on teh wound hurr hurr" and gobthrough with it without being chargedbfor murder?

20:20 fucking hindsight mate. I just freaked out and had no idea what to do.

How reassuring lmao

Oh Sup Forums, this is why i love you.

To answer your question, no i didnt take pics of it.

get over it faggot

UK...

And as far as i can work out not saving a life doesnt make you a murderer. It makes you a cunt, sure. But legally not a murderer.

Look i get i suck and shit. I cant change it, i fucked up and i just dont know what to fucking do.

is your keyboard broken

Hello, idiot.

legal age is 16 in the UK, FAGET

I know bc facing death doesn't mean artificially inducing it.
I feel really shit for you bro no one should face some like that in the 20's, I can assure to you that you have something to do here. Maybe God wants you to help the ones without the courage to get over it...

Not a cunt either. Just a worthless shit who allowed an innocent to die.
Maybe not legally a murderer, but morally accountable for it.
Now suck it up and live with it.

fap

>I just cant get the idea out of my head that theres an (admittedly small) chance of an afterlife where i can see her again

I have a personal, private experience about the afterlife.
I can guarantee you that something of an individual survives after death.
How long it lasts, how much personality it has, I have no idea.
All I know is that there's a component to the personality that lingers past the point of physical death.

>"god"

hit me right in the feels man.

you didn't know, it's not your fault. its not you fault she did what she did. you loved her as much as you could in the time that she was alive and that is all that matters. seek a therapist otherwise it will probably just get worse for you. i feel you, and i hope you feel better man.

Can you fucking not, you were probably in shock and caught unprepared. You can't blame yourself for someone else's actions.

Don't let the guilt mount up because it will crush you. You need to speak to a professional counselor because you obviously haven't dealt with it and you're starting to slip into self-destruction.

I feel for you bro
I too, once fell in love with a degenerate

An EMT isn't going to tell you that... and if they even have a chance, they have more responsibility than just talking to you. Phony story is my guess then

Emts are trained to be empathetic and caring. They would not have told you you could have saved her especially not while trying to save her. Either high quality bait or that emt wins dick of the year

*triggered*

Thanks man.

I mean by my logic actually she is responsible since she is the one who cut her wrists

You died?

>UK
Rest asured that if not dead thanks to your negligence, she would have died because of some rag head going full jihad mode.
The perks and downsides of living in a muslim country.

Is your girl's name Kelly?

It was after, as they were leaving. I was being a total wanker and basically blaming them and i think he just lost it a bit.

For real OP stop feeling guilty.. Sadly a soul who can beat the survival instinct and kill herself is already death inside. Just try to understand what is your call and let you life being worth it, try to save other lives I don't know do something OP don't let another soul go away

There is no afterlife. When your dead, thats it. Your dead. Well done your now dead. Dead, population = you .

post nude it will help release the tensions

did she cut both? mustve done some real damage if she only did one arm

Like I said. There's more responsibility. For example, dealing with the police.

>How do i stop being a pathetic fuck?
start by getting rid of that shirt and any pictures of it you might have.

>There is no afterlife. When your dead, thats it. Your dead. Well done your now dead. Dead, population = you .

citation needed
Plus, are you going to trust someone who can't use your/you're correctly?

>that's probably his cum rag

Timestamp or didn't happen.

You cant prove the existence of an afterlife, therefore only a total moron would assume there is one

even with a timestamp there is no fucking proof thats her dead gf blood on that fucking shirt

I just wanted to say, your provocation is transparent and doesn't affect anyone here, not the OP, not those of us who feel sorry for the guy. Nice try though. Keep practicing.

See a therapist, because as much as you may KNOW just WHAT to do, you won't be able to if you're already stuck in the destructive mode. You need another physical being you can trust to tell you what to do and how to do it and will support you in it.

DMT is a helluva drug

>mfw

>newfags falling for stale old pasta

so many idiots in this thread

...

One thing that would help is getting rid of the shirt.

you're fucking retarded shut the fuck up.

OP here.

I can't get rid of it. She gave it to me two weeks before her death. It's been my cum rag ever since she died.

None of that sounds easy to slide, man. You're being really hard on yourself and that's understandable but the truth is everything you're feeling is natural given what happened. It's okay to feel anger and guilt. I mean, what else would anyone feel going through what you had to? But you have to realize that none of that was your fault. You didn't choose any of this. Also, fuck that paramedic for guilt tripping you like that. Making you feel like it was your fault; it wasn't, dude. You went through some really harsh shit and seriously, kudos to being here and able to talk about it, even with a bunch of faggots like us.
My advice is to seek out some therapy. One that specializes in PTSD. Things will get better OP. I don't know if it means anything but for someone I don't know, my heart seriously goes out to you man

So what? You have 2 choises you make something out of yourself or you let this kill you.Let me tell you a storie mate and fuck you if this is a bait and fuck rest of you who believe this or not but i will write you now my life.Mother abused me because dad never around home she blamed me for all beat me blame me for all.Around 20 years like that then she killed herself I found her in our backyard she overdosed. Father gets merried and leaves me after 2 weeks of funeral. Friends abandon me cuz i lost my mind and went to psy institution.Father comea back while i am sick in psy insitition takes everything that mom left me house and flat I am alone no job no money no friends notting.I got out and worked 6 years on me to produce what I have now...my own company car flat and fiancee...so i will say this. Dont expect a fast change but dont expect anything untill you except yourself and man up and do something in your life. And fuck all do something that produce a lot of money like it jobs and similar cus you need your mojo and power back myfriend i know and it is as it is...you decide will it kill you or make something out of you.

My mom killed herself just over a year ago, September 12th, 2016.

I was in my room and I heard the gunshot go off, she didn't know I was home or I don't think she would've done it. Walked into her laying on the bed with blood everywhere and my shotgun on the floor.
The image is stuck in my head, if I close my eyes I can still picture it like it just happened. Shit fucked with me bad. Good luck man, people say it gets better with time but it really doesn't. The imagery never goes away.

She slashed her wrists to get away from you. You're not going to see her in the afterlife if she sees you first.

Because while the brain is just a group of cells floating in a calcium bowel. I believe a soul dictates how the brain behaves, a broken or damaged soul will lead to chemical imbalance, an old soul will lead to a person being great and kind, a new soul is learning. Everything with a brain has a soul. So single cell organisms don't have souls or things like trees. But bugs and spiders have souls. But not like larger animals. Souls have size limits you cannot go too small or too big but a soul can get stuck in another species (however rare)

What else do you want to know? Want me to explain anything better or in more details? I'm trying to give a broad answer here to just give a better idea on what I believe.

Probably fed up of your faggotry.

And you, personally, can't prove the existance of Antarctica. You have never been there and can't prove it exists. By your logic, therefore, it doesn't exist.

You have move passed it. Your coping mechanisms are failing you and you need to change. There's a reason you haven't killed yourself and I don't know that reason for you, but there is. Mine was my family and the logical thinking is that the way you are carrying yourself in unsustainable to your mental health long term. Seek help, or determine whether your life is worth living or not. With such a loss, no one could blame you, especially with that faggot EMT essentially blaming you, a civilian in shock, for her death.
tl;dr solve your problems or give yourself the release you desire

Post nudes

Christianity is the true religion. It's just too bad you have not learned from it.

Your words are far from reassuring and helpful.
You are not God and do not know if his GF's "goose is cooked"..

This life is not easy and if one chooses to end their own life verses harming another's?

Then it is between them and God.

OP know this God loves us all.

You did nothing wrong.

If one day you find yourself in God's Kingdom?

I pray you will hear "Well done my good and faithful servant."

Perhaps you will be reunited with her and will enjoy an eternity of happiness?

OR You may find some one here in this life soon who will make you happy?

Either way?

Struggle on and try to love others. Do unto them as you would have them do unto you.

Be at peace.

Genetics and upbringing along with significant experiences make up brain chemistry and behavior. There is no such thing as a soul because that would imply there is a self to begin with. There is no such thing as an ego or self and ego is what's telling you you're going to be something when you do. It's an illusion. All that happens is you get rubbed out into nothingness and merge with oblivion and get spit back into the cosmos and you don't remember a damn thing because there was never a you to begin with.

i fell you something like that happened like 3 years ago, in college this girl really wanted me but i just wanted a job and a simple life, and after a year of playing cold,and telling her to stop cause she was a pain in the ass (it hurts even today) she gave a teddy bear...she told me (almost crying) sorry for bothering you, 2 days later i get a call one of her friends is insulting me (oh well shes really sad and her friends ara angry with me ok no problem) why? i asked...she took some pills and went to bed, with a note "im sorry mom and dad and sorry user for bothering you"...take that shirt to the trash and swallow it, thats how i "get over it" not 100% but i took the tedy bear and give it to a homeless chil with his mom in the street, just let go man, it will follow you to the end of the world but...dont hurt yourself she woudnt want you to suffer for her, keep going for youre girflen, god have her in her glory.

Paramedic here. That really doesn't look like enough blood. Bleeding to death makes a much bigger blood stain. Anyway, no paramedic would ever tell you that she would still be alive if you did something different, thats taught to us in our training (at least in the UK)

...

and sorry for my broken english.

Probably OP's paramedic was an irish drunkard who hates the english.

Hells actually cold. Someone did some math on it....

>EMT said I could have saved her

What the fuck, why would he say that

I would have just fucking lied and said you did everything you could.

so if you believe in mentally ill kike you are not white

That's basically what we do. Day 1 of training

Yeah that's the cops Job! Here in the US a friends wife died because of a blood clot to the brain an he called the police and they actually handcuffed him an took him down to the station because they 'thought' he killed her. Spent 3 hours there before being released. Think about being married for 25 years and by some freak accident your partner dies and the cops blame you right off the bat? Fuck cops.

If you feel guilty, let a full life lived be your punishment. And if in that lesson, somewhere, you learn to be happy again, you are forgiven.

>would have just fucking lied
>being this dishonest
>giving false hopes
You're a fucking monster, you know that?

Nice dubs.
Bad English.

Could you repost that in your native tongue or language and I will then reply?

Thanks

Take up a hobby, try hiking, helped me out a lot, best of luck OP

Etonce tu cree ke si tu cree en un pendejo, entonce no ere blanko

Trying playing Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain. Maybe you will identify with Snake

>yeah, if you just held her wounds she'd still be here, so it's your fault basically

Or

>You did what you could, she was too far gone by then

You pick, retarded faggot.

...

You aren't pathetic because of your feelings. It's pretty normal even after a year of such a horrible event.

But you will have to eventually get over it. There is nothing you can do now and there isn't a big chance you could have saved her.

You have to let her go and only let her live with you as a beautiful memory. Dont let this destroy you, she wouldn't want that either.

Wow your Spanish is worse than your English!

Did you mean?
>Etonce tu cree ke si tu cree en un pendejo, entonce no ere blanko


Yeah Christ will eventually deal with you.
I think I will pass on any further insults or replies.

Post her nudes so that we can remember her

You could've saved her in that moment sure. But if she killed herself what could u have done after that? Get her some help? How? Take her to a shrink? Put her on anti-depresents? Do u know how to save someone ultimately? Would you be willing to stick it out like that? You did what you did, man. If she was meant to be alive u would've saved her. That would've happened. This message won't help you, nothing anyone says will. But know this truth. It wasn't ur fault she died, and it's not ur fault she wanted to. She felt she couldn't live here anymore. I'm deeply sorry for her because I know how that feels, and I'm deeply sorry for you because u lost her and have to deal with this. I Hope you can let her go and live again. God bless, brother.

>your fault
Or
>nothing you could have done
>mfw

Then everything has to be between "them and God" and Christians should never admonish anyone. "It's between them and God", "Only God can judge", etc immediately vanishes as a principle as soon as the Christian wants to admonish and treat someone as a child in doing so. Also, whenever a Christian doesn't agree with something, then "you're not God, you can't know this (or anything)", but the Christian can boldly and proudly pronounce anything to be fact without being god.

>I think I will pass on any further insults or replies.
Yeah, run away like a coward.
Feels good winning an argument.
Victory is mine.!

>having someone's death on your shoulders

Or

>weren't able to prevent the death

Non-retards (not you) would prefer the first one.

Yes everything is between you and God.

What you do is not my business unless you are my "Oikos". I can offer you help and Love. I can answer your questions.

But if what I have is the casting of stones? I am better off keeping my mouth shut.


Teach the law.
Struggle to follow the law.
Never dare to enforce the law.

God is our Creator and Judge.
I am simply your brother walking the path beside you.

just vote here, and she will come back

petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/do-not-pass-hr672s198-combating-european-anti-semitism-act-2017

You couldn't have done much different, user. Even if you had first aid training there's no guarantee things would be different, despite what the EMT said.

My point is you're not responsible for it you shouldn't blame yourself for . Sorry you're having to deal with this trauma, brother. Do get yourself some counseling, please?

Stay strong.