Post crazy/ weird stories that happened to you

post crazy/ weird stories that happened to you

I was going out with a 'girl' on the internet for 11 months. We broke up, and only until a few months later I found out she wasn't real.

I saw Ryan Gosling at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

I did 3 lines of coke and bam 6 million jews

R. Lee Ermey and I go to the same barber. He either gets his hair cut frequently or we just have very similar schedules.

woah what a fuckin douche

Pics or it didn't happen, faggot.

wow what a fuckin asshole

but is this even real

Nearly strangled a guy outside the pub on Friday night..
>be drinking with buddies
>oldest friend finally turned 30
>drinking pints and whisky punch
>some tourist in there (german or something)
>one of them is really loud
>me and my buddies start singing
>I go for a piss, toilet is locked
>really need a piss
>go outside and behind the corner
>unleash the stream
>hear someone behind
>zip my pants after I'm done, german dude is pissing against the wall
>don't know why, smack him in the back of the head as I pass by
>drunk me think it's funny
>he goes nuts, turns around, dick out and all
>screams something in Hitler language
>drunk me is no longer happy
>kick him in the leg
>he falls like a tree
>drunk me is dumb and without honor
>kneel on his chest and grab his throat
>he's getting blue
>suddenly get pulled away by my friend
>laddie, what hell is going on?
>mumble something and walk inside
>drink my shame away, half expecting police to arrive but they don't
>pass out and wake up at home with shirt and hat covered in vomit
Been feeling bad all weekend now.. If you are here German dude, I'm sorry lad..

woah

Yes

Mit Hand im Schritt eingeschlafen

WOAH DAS IST DAS HEFTIGSTE DAS HIER GEPOSTET WURDE

Walked in on my best friends dad masturbating once. Took the wrong door and he was jacking it, we locked eyes and I quickly closed the door and left.

wtf
haha

Saw bigfoot while driving home from work once.
Clear as day in the shine of my lights.
7 foot at least, brown/black hair all over and jumped across a 6 ft ditch with ease when I got closer.
Just gunned it away from there, nearly had a god damn heart attack..

Most awkward moment of my life and that was 15-16 years ago.
Couldn't go to his house for at least a year without feeling strange.

Probably someone pranking motorists.

>prank
Not on nearly unused back roads in the Tennessee hills several miles from the nearest house.

Walked in on my mates blowing each other in 5th grade once in the changing room after gym class.

erhm,...

You make me ashamed to be English. Please tell me you're a Scotsman

Sadly not, Irish in blood and bone.
Had a bad moment of self control.

Oh, that's OK then and even more understandable. I didn't realise you were a thick Mick - your race can't hold its liquor anyway and is always ready with its fists, so it's to be expected.

Carry on.

Girlfriend told me she's going to kill herself when she hangs up the phone and will cry rape or some shot if I call anyone to help.

Oh well. You got me girl. I love you ::click::

She calls back
Weird noise and funny meeps. Hangs up

Calls me back 20 Mom later. It's the girlfriend with a crazy out of body experience after drowning in the bathtub.

Two months later I find out she is full blown schizophrenic. Sees people that aren't there. Most of them that talk don't like me... they know I'm in it for the incredible blow jobs... what scared me is that they where right.

I will tell you a story of a mythical being: the washers

this man had on a winter afternoon in a small town a happy idea: I'm going to masturbate with a pvc washer.
there it got and it got jammed. of the pressure is spliced and due to the danger of the situation calls for emergencies. the firemen arrive and remove the washer leaving on their mottle the washers.

lol. Whimpy english lager lout thinks ten pints is manly...

*wimpy

Also, anyone who drinks to the point of losing control, like OP, is a brainless moron. It just appears the Irish do it more economically.

Also, I've never drunk 10 pints at once.

this would probably be a good story if it was in English