IOS 11 drops later on today, so let's keep a classic Sup Forums tradition alive

iOS 11 drops later on today, so let's keep a classic Sup Forums tradition alive.

69 decides what new (potentially destructive) feature this one adds

rolling for "when dropped, diverts battery power away from the screen which pulls all of the LEDs away from the display meaning it's less likely to break"

Wrap your device in a thermally conductive material, such as tin foil, and bake in your oven for 30 minutes. This works because advanced sensory processors on the mainframe convert thermal energy into electricity, in a feature we call iBake.

Place your device in a high temperature environment such as a fire, and the new iOS 11 heat sensor app will kick in, causing the phone to cool itself down. It will never be broken by heat

Inductive charging is so last year, it's 2017, the year of conductive charging, new thermal capacitors bring rapid charging to the masses like never before, with direct application if hear to the screen, the device will charge dated than any other current wireless charging solution on the market!

Rolling for this one.

Fuck auto correct.
Application of heat to the screen, the device will charge faster...

This sounds just legit enough to be believed by idiots.

Roll for this.

Ios 11 and Iphone x have proven working technology, It has everything the LG G4 and Galaxy S6 have from 2014 proving that Iphone is superior. For the small markup of $900+ over our Androids You too can have the power of our name brand.

iPhone is crap

we get it youre an android faggot get lost you sperg and take that cat pic from facebook with you

Rolling for this

Reroll

Add some shit about how the new ceramic plates were made with ceramic to withstand intense heat specifically for this feature.

not your personal army

fuck off

Calling 911 outside of "emergency" mode will contact Apple support instead of police because an iPhone problem to Apple is an emergency.

lul

roll

Wait people still use Apple in 2017?

lolololol

rolling

What part of this says "personal army." You fuckin retard.

best

Easy, this is apples first water proof phone if I remember because so many people break their phone by dropping it down the toilet this phone can't be broken by water

With the growing number of Tech-Savvy apple customers, we added a new "hacker mode" to be activated, allowing for full customisation control. This can only be activated by activating audio sensors integrated in the CPU by yelling "Steve Jobs" into the phone, this tells us at Apple you are a smart individual and we will activate hacker mode for you.

>personal army
Are you from Reddit and thought shitting out a random phrase would make you fit in here

rolling

"Project Fresh Start"
Introducing the new feature made possible by iOS 11, Fresh Start gives you an opportunity like you've never experienced. By simply holding your home button and your lock button for exactly 24 seconds, you revert to a backup save and undo anything you may have done on your iphone in the last 24 hours. Whether it be an embarrassing post on social media, or accidentally deleting an important contact, you can always have a fresh start to your day. A fresh start for today, an easier life tomorrow.
>Fucking retards

roll

I'll samefag for mine lol just this once

Poop protection

rolling because poop is funny

Roll

rollin

roll

Rolling

Roll

if a faggot holds the phone, phones color turns into rainbow

This! Roll.

Rollin

lol roll

A headphone jack.
A standard USB Type-C port.
IEEE standards-compliant WiFi silicon.
Removable storage.
User-serviceable battery.
A fingerprint scanner that doesn't suck niggercock.

this, it's this

iDar, first hardware gaydar on mobile phones! ability to find every faggot in 1 mile radius.

if semen drops on phone, it cleans itself by licking it

Never be caught without charge!
The new iOS 11 introduces the smartest adaptive charge matrix of any phone. Now you can plug your iPhone into any form of power with any form of wire and your iPhone will automatically detect the power source and start charging immediately. As an example, with just two wires, you can connect your iOS 11 enabled iPhone directly to a mains socket and start charging your battery immediately.

rrrrrrroll

Rollpachino

Still running iOS 6 with Jailbreak.

replaceable battery

Roll