Hey guys

Hey guys,
Long time reader, first time writer.
Ive had kind of a long day and wanted to gage the room.

Im not super happy on the inside anymore, havent been for a while.
It used to be that I could keep all of it inside, but now its starting to affect my outside self.
I was wondering if anyone on here had some ideas on lowering excessive anxiety or deep seeded thoughts of inadequacy.
Its becoming more and more obvious to me and those around me thats its beginning to be too much and Id like to see steps that others in a similar mindset have taken

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Be active

Be outside, walking to woods/green space. Cycle places. Read more. Make something with your hands.

solution: hang out on Sup Forums Sup Forums
there is aways someone worse off than you
feel better

So is it depression, anxiety, or both? I have a degree in psych and work in the field.

Doing that stuff.
Excercise, go on walks, paint a bit too
Hell, I go into the woods and pick fruits and mushrooms when I find the time

And I do, and have for a while
And I get that there are people worse off and in darker places than Im in.
The thing is that a cave is still dark even in comparisson to the depths of space
Comparrisons are becoming less useful

I dont know, maybe both?
Im pretty nervous I guess.
I worry a lot about stuff, but thats important to me.
If I dont worry, who will?

So first I want to give you a short term fix. When you're feeling anxious, breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth. Do this in an incrementally slowing pattern and at least somewhat deeply.

If you do this for a minute or so, you will absolutely have less anxiety. It activates you parasympathetic nervous system and slows everything down.

Second, what bothers you? Is there a particular reason why you're feeling down all of a sudden?

Also you can go more than a minute, but a minute seems to be the minimum it takes to really activate it in a meaningful way.

Cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness meditation user.
Those two things have enabled me to almost never feeling anxious or inadequate.

Eat a healthy diet, get a healthy amount of sleep, and get a healthy amount of exercise.

>Long time reader
>Im not super happy on the inside anymore, havent been for a while.

Don't worry, these things are completely unrelated.

I'm working him up to CBT, but it's much easier when you know why he feels this way in order to help him learn the technique.

Send your dissonance outward fuck it

Oh sure user, you go ahead, I just wanted to add my piece.
I used to use 8 hours to psyche myself up for grocery shopping, now because of cbt and mindfulness I can just go if need be.

Pretty impressive, how long did it take you?

About 3 and a half years. I spent 6 months figuring out shit after my nervous breakdown and then got started on getting better.
I've been dealing with this shit for 5 years now, but it's been very manageable for the past year.

Breathing doesn't help me. Ive been told it several times and its never helped
By the time I finish, I have to go back to doing the same thing I was already stressed about.
The only difference is now I have less time to do it in
And everything, everything bothers me.
Today right? Im off by a day on a report I had torun.
Ten minute fix.
Thats a tic on my sheet that can get me fired. Its a real possibility.
That was 4 hours ago, heart still won't stop

Part of the fucked up thing about anxiety is the fear of fear.
If you can somehow manage to accept that you will feel anxious from time to time and don't panic when it happens, It'll be a lot less hard on you.
That's how I started out, I'm virtually anxiety free now.

You're gonna have to be patient with me, because I need to kind of pick your brain before I can give you anything worth using.

Does it seem like your new level of dissatisfaction is coming from stress at work, or is it that your current state is just negatively affecting your work. Also I can help you make the breathing exercise work when I have more info.

Meditation, my head wont shut up for more than five seconds let alone enough time to sit and spin

Life is too important to just say fuck it.

It's great that you could go from agoraphobia to an anxiety free life in that period of time. Some people never fix it.

It's not about getting your mind to shut up, it's about accepting what is happening in it and just observing it.
I know this sounds odd, but this shit really works.

You should be proud man. Always remind yourself of how far you've gone.

Listen to me my nigger,

Either you will sink or you will swim. To be clear, either you will lose your shit and end up like some drugged up loser or dead or whatever, or you will be strong enough (even if you think you aren't) to make it far enough. Doing so you will pick up some skills about life that you lack now.

Anxiety... gym helps. Reading helps (I mean any sort of literature, whatever your preference). Finding a purpose is vital.

Now this part is key. Life is inherently meaningless and absurd and a miserable experience. This is a fact. But you cannot live your life with this mindset because you will think it absurd to do anything. What's the point? You basically have to fool yourself into believing in something. You learn to tolerate it. It doesn't become magical if you're rich or handsome. Life is always a horrible thing because we cannot escape from it. It will always be a rat race. But you need to learn to accept that. That is step one.

I recommend you look up The Golden One on youtube.
youtube.com/watch?v=6ZbXaf5lD80

He is legit.

Also this dude has good advice with the finding of a purpose. That's extremely important for a lot of people. Aimlessness leads to anxiety.

I think it might've come down to me deciding to become brutally honest about everything, my emotions, opinions of others and needs. This and cultivating a sense of acceptance of my emotional states, without letting them take me along for a ride.
I'm not completely free of it, but I don't get into the depersonalized robot state that anxiety used to put me in anymore.
I am very proud, in some senses having a nervous breakdown was the best thing that ever happened to me. I now know what I want and don't want, what my strengths and weaknesses are and people have a much easier time liking and understanding me because of the honesty this condition has forced me to show.

I dont fear fear.
I fear complications.
Everything you do, no matter how small or insignificant is one step closer or farther from death.
Worrying is the only way Im able to keep going.
I accepted being anxious and use it to not screw myself

Why cant it be both?
I work a full week without a fifteen minute lunch and no breaks, so that leads to stress.
And my generally worried nature leads me to push myself to try too hard and sometimes create more problems than fix them

It certainly can be both and probably is. How do you feel about finding another job? Also, is there anything else that immediately comes to mind when you think of what is stressing you out?

Think of when this started and how long it's been going on for, does this coincide with any changes in your work, relationships, habits, any kind of change in how you live your life?

Look, I get why this works for people.
Some people do not have a purpose or meaning, but its not that for me.
I excercised trying to get rid of it. It took three years, I lost 40 pounds and none of my stress.
Im well learned and have a purpose that Im trying to make work.
4 years in college and I work as an accountant which is what I went to school for!
I try to keep up and read when I can.
I do accept that it sucks, and worry is the only way I make it work.
I dont drink smoke OR self prescribe.
Im clean and miserable.
I just know that its not good for me to have this mindset

Ive always been like this.
I wouldnt cross traffic as a kid because Id worry Id get killed
Id pull out my hair during tests because I thought Id fail the class even if I held consistent A's
Id never leave my room in college because Id worry that if I went to a freinds place for a night I'd get behind and waste the chance I was given to better myself.
And now in the working world I know that a single flaw in my work could lead to my leave and failure of the last 4 years of my life.
Im 23

Are your parents high strung? It's entirely possible that it's genetic.

Also, you contradicted yourself. In your Op, you specified that this is at least somewhat recent..

Dude, you're asking a bunch of retarded, socially awkward nobheads for some advice on anxiety. Just go talk to some professional. I was depressed for a little while but then i decided i wanted to use my muscle, quit my crappy $15 /hr job and do something with my life. I got up and worked damnit.

Well I can't give more help.

I'm 29. I don't know how I made it this far. Maybe... think of what would improve your life if you had it (not necessarily a material object like a house or whatever). Work for it. But don't make it your sole objective in life.

It sounds like whatever purpose you found is not the one for you. Maybe you took it as a purpose because you felt like that was expected of you.

>calls other people knobheads for giving advice
>gives the most basic bitch unhelpful advice possible

Not everyone on here is socially and emotionally retarded.

Have you read the thread user?
People have actually been giving op solid advice.
You didn't add much of anything though.

Smoke bud

Unless you're a former alcoholic or something, you should consider picking up moderate drinking.

Alcohol is a depressant though, if he starts self medicating with it, he'll only get more fucked over with time.
I have friends who need half a box wine in their system just to function because they tried doing this.

Depressant doesn't mean it gives you depression. A couple beers has an elating effect and it combats anxiety. The lorazapam they give you for anxiety are also "depressants" that do the exact same thing in a solid form.

The key is to use moderation and be conscious of the fact that you can get addicted if you're not careful.

Okay I admit not being very knowledgable on depressants, but adding any substance to depression and anxiety is just really iffy to me.
I've seen so many of my friends getting fucked over by it.

Father is, mom isnt.
On the way home to night he thought that thegrass that was in the road ahead of us might hide nails, pop the tires to his truck and send us over the hill

I have bouts.
I have been pretty happy recently and Ive started to get more stressed again recently

If life is pointless, then there is no improvement good enough.
I appreciate the thought.

Smoke
What kind.
The shit that causes cancer or shit that can get me in trouble at work.

When I drink, I constantly weep and apologize for all my actions.
Im fine, thanks

No you're right, it is a bad idea. I only suggested it because an accountant who doesn't drink sounds like the kind of guy who can manage moderate use of alcohol.

When you have these bouts of anxiety, what is your inner monologue saying, or what trips it into occuring? Does it come from nowhere with no context, or does it occur in a recognizable pattern, and stemming from verbal thoughts in your head?

He might, I've personally just seen too many people fall into the deep end with lead shoes to ever recommend this to anyone though.
This might be me feeling a bit anxious on his behalf though.

I think of the negatives that may happen.
I cant really think of direct example, but it kind of...avalanches ?
One step leads to a stream of other steps being taken and from this even more can be taken.

Alright good we're getting somewhere. Does anything specificially tend to start the avalanche or is it different every time?

Is it the action which you're partaking in that starts them, or is it just unrelated thoughts you have while doing something?

Ignore my first of these three responses, I glossed over you saying you can't think of direct examples.

Alright, like. Lets say I decide to walk downtown.
Ive had to do this a lot when I was looking for a job.
I cant drive because of my eyes, so I have to walk.
Town is about 7 miles from here.
How am I going to get back home? Do I walk back?
Do I have a ride back? Should I call for a ride?
Who would be able to? Would I put them out of the way?
And If I assume that someone can or have some that will, pick me up.
What happens if that changes?
Id have to prepare for the walk home in advance, but if I dont worry about that possibility I would be ill equipped for that scenario.

So none of those worries are irrational. Is it that the strength of the anxiety when you think those things is too much for the situation? Usually anxious people get worried about unreasonable questions, but I don't see any of that as unreasonable. Do you?

Of course theres something wrong with it.
Theres no control over any of It. I can rely soley on myself for these kinds of issues, but reliance on other people is completly impossible
If I get to the place for my interview or to hand my resume theres no telling about how others may hinder my intentions.
Whats stopping the receptionist from tossing my resume out because she doesnt want to walk the stars.
Whats stopping the interviewer from just cutting me short to take a leak and not come back.
What stopping a driver from turning his radio up on the way downtown and slamming me down a ditch.
Whats stopping anyone

Also honestly man I know it's gay, but it's empirically verified to work. You really should get into meditation. You're smart and driven enough to be able to figure it out. I know you've tried it and nothing happens, but keep pushing.

You're a perfect candidate because of the nature of your anxiety. Just lay down and breathe slowly for a long time, focus on a count (up or down, whatever you like more) in your head.

>Whats stopping the receptionist from tossing my resume out because she doesnt want to walk the stars.
>Whats stopping the interviewer from just cutting me short to take a leak and not come back.

So this is better to work with.

These things are not going to happen. They are irrational worries. I promise I can give you something useful after you answer this question.

Do you realize that those are irrational fears?

the internet is not healthy

it's too late for me, but you can still run

They arent irrational.
My receptionist has done that, Ive seen it happen twice. Its pure laziness and outside of anyones control
And the latter has happened to a friend of mine and was escorted out of the room.
Both, very real possibilities. No matter how finite that possibility is

Exercising really, really helps.

The possibility is negligible. How many times has she not thrown out the resume compared to the two she has? I know you view these worries as necessary and rational, but you're focusing on the minute possibility vs. what almost certainly would happen.

What almost certainly would happen is that the receptionist won't throw out your resume, and that the HR guy or interviewer won't just walk out on you to take a dump and never come back.

Even if you're right, what's the worst thing that happens after that? You just apply somewhere else, fuck working at that place anyway.

Do you still believe that those potential situations are worth getting anxious about?

Yes, I do.
These are cherry picked cases.
They arent probale, but they are possible.
The issue at work, right?
Ive ran this report two or three times a day since I started and this is the first time that an issue has occured and is easilly fixable.
I am not disciplined or reprimanded, only told to fix it.
While not probable this does not leave out the possibility that this was a test that was failed and is a tic on a list of reasons for my departure.

Just so you know I'm not negating what you're saying, I'm just weighing my options for ways to give you tools you can use and need to jump around to do that.

Are there any worries that you have which bother you and you know or suspect are irrational? Name an example if you have one.

I think its completly probable that all my thoughts are irrational
On the other hand they could be completly within the realm of what everyone else should be thinking.
Its always back and forth
Fear and worry is the best thing for success andfor failure

Maybe I'm just shitty at framing this question on the internet.

Is there any recurring thought or worry you have that you have at some point you have considered to be irrational?

Failure, death, loss in general.
Anything you do can lead to these

More specific though. Like a sentence example.