Which of these 3 knives would be most effective for killing myself and how would I do it?

Which of these 3 knives would be most effective for killing myself and how would I do it?
I don't have a gun and can't get one in my state, chemicals/drugs would be fucking agony if someone walks in on me and "saves" me, and I'm too paranoid that a noose/my fan would break if I tried hanging so I've decided on a knife suicide since I already owned a few nice ones.
If none of those seem viable for a painless death, I have cooking knives, butter knives, and plastic knives too.

Go jump off a building fag. My uncle tried knives once and someone walked in on him bleeding out and an ambulance patched him up.

Police suicide (idk if that's written right)
A gud ol social experiment: walk with a bunch of knives in [city]

Use a ceramic knife. They are so sharp that cuts are less painful and it takes much less pressure to make a deep cut.

A small 2 inch cut below the ear at the base of the neck is quickest. Sever the carotid artery and you'll have 20 seconds of consciousness. Granted there is a sharp pinch when cutting there but you won't have long to.feel it.

I would also suggest this if the last 10 videos ive seen havnt been police unloading entire clips center mass like a bunch of fucking monkeys. Go cops if you think you can bait a headshot.

OH NO OP DONT KILL YOURSELF BLAH BLAH IM REPORTING BLAH BLAH GOD WILL ANGER WITH YOU BLAH BLAH

So it is not really effective?

Its effective, just remember only to keep you head exposed.

The one that cuts your neck

If you're having trouble deciding who to kill first, heres some starter suggestions: Phsychiatrists, Shit teachers, and people who have ruined your life previously.

The plastic knife,but be careful can cut you

The only way the plastic knife can cut you is if you bite it off into small peices, then swallow them, then chase it with some broken glass lol.

Don't kill yourself. Contact the suicide hotline.

can i have that fine karambit when you're dead?

I knew someone would post this ._.

You knew someone would post a link to the suicide hotline in a suicide thread? A modern nostradamus you must be.

Also what about....

How did you miss the part about hanging in his 1 paragraph post lol.

try to get laid faggot, that will make you want to live forever

vodka, pills, plastic bag on head

Don't do it op why don't we talk about it?