Anyone got any good stories about being a complete cunt to people

Anyone got any good stories about being a complete cunt to people.

In line at a Arby's, the bitch at the counter said they were out of curly fries. So I said "this place is AIDS" unzipped my pants and pissed on the register.

As op I got one to start

> be me
> 4th grader with no friends
> hardcore wants to be cool
> stupid child brain thinks bullying someone will make me cool
> wait for a while for suitable target
> two months later
> counselor talks in front of class while one of the kids is gone
> tells us kids dad died and he is coming back in a week
> basically says be nice to him
> targetaquired.jpeg
> kid comes back after a week
> See him smiling at recess
> walk up to him
> say "hey kid, you look pretty happy for someone who's dad just died."
> his face is blank
> we stare at each other for like 5 minutes
> walk away
> missionaccomplished.jpeg
> think I will now be cool
> sitting in class and notice he isn't there
> think nothing of it
> teacher announces root beer floats and movie
> fuck yeah
> suddenly kid comes in with assistant principal
> ohshit.jpeg
> assistant principal takes me out
> quietly walks me to the office
> the moment the office door closes begins screaming at me and using cuss words I didn't even know at the time
> does this until about 2:58
> sends me back to class
> sees class has ended and line is walking to bus stop
> begin crying and drop to floor because I missed ice cream and movie
> don't even care about being ass hole
> my fucking ice cream was more important

I have now graduated highschool with that kid and he acts like nothing happened but I swear he's got it out for me. But I've got a bone to pick with him too. My fucking ice cream.

I respect that

Every single day I get a call from Rachel at Cardholder Services. Every day I press 0 for an operator, waste as much time as possible and then suggest that if they got cancer or were hit by a bus that the calls might stop.

>low self esteem/anxious kid in elementary school
>just moved schools for the third time so I don't know how to make friends or keep friends or whatever (hence the anxiety)
>try to get the low hanging fruit
>befriend autism incarnate
>this annoying fuck won't leave me alone
>I was in tkd and bigger than him
>one day I recess I just randomly fucking decked him
>knocked out his two front teeth
I was like 11 at the time

>Be me
>Bouncer at a bar a few months back
>Used to getting aggressive with people
>Be at uni dorms, early morning class
>Walking down to car, half-way out the door before I hear some negress ape yell at me
>"CAN YOU HOLD THE DOOR?!"
>Pull it shut, she was holding a basket of clothes
>Opens it, I'm half way out of the common area
>Talking to her ape friend "did you see what the fuck just happened?"
>NotHavingThisShitToday.zip
>Do a 180
>Stare into her monkey face
>"You're not going to give me a FUCKING attitude then expect me to hold the door open for you"
>Security guard pissing himself
>Audibly call her a bitch as I walk out the door into the parking lot
>Had a great day.

this one time on vacation these nigger orphans were hnding out cheap bead necklaces.
they said they were free, but i guess they wanted money as donations or something.
fuck those "orphans" i kept asking for more and more and a bunch of them gathered around waiting for their gimmedats.
I just walked away and dumped all the necklaces in a stroller.

Is this all Sup Forums has? No one also has done anything?

nigger deserved but you also sound annoying as fuck

Guess I will go again, I have a shit load anyways.

>be me
>doing replays for girls basketball in highschool
>bored as fuck wanting something interesting to happen
>girl from my school fucks up leg really bad
>can't show it on big screen so I just hit the button that changes what's on the big screen
> me and the person next to me are rewinding the clip of her busting her leg
>we begin to make jokes and laugh at the face she makes when it happens
>fucking open bottle of soda comes through open window in the room we're in
>soda everywhere (and they said Pepsi was for peace)
>we turn and realize the clip was on the big screen
>and because no one was cheering they heard every joke we made
>I dipped out the back door of the gym through the weight room while my partner was cleaning the soda up
>the next day the guy was suspended for 3 days because of it
>I have avoided him since
> I regret nothing and he probably wants to murder me

Bump

I put a worm in a retarded kids afro in middle school and it was there the next day

What happened next

I dont know.. had a good laugh though, either fell out or he took it out. didnt get to see. he slept with it in there lol

haha

I single-handedly got rid of all shota and loli threads on b for a couple hours

Try focus that energy toward agenda ridden bullshit (eg traps) rather than historic Sup Forums degeneracy.

so the long an short is two dorks from av are making fun of a basketball jock girl busting her leg? Yeah I'm surprised you two survived the semester.

Good job. Now do you have a story?

What a giant autist you are

Hello fat Kevin, I remember you. I know you're still fat.

I'm pretty sure my partner was fucking hated for the rest of our time in school, but I was fine, cause I fucking bounced when I saw what was coming.

Why not just hold the door? It cost you nothing. You could've gotten laid but you had to be a hard ass

nope just scripted them out of existence for a couple hours

What the shit does any of that even mean? Learn to tell a story you fucking nerd

so, you got none of the blame, none of the infamy... you weren't the dick in the story. You were a bystander.

Girl wants me and i think maybe i'll get a fuck out of it so i tell her i like her. after 1 day i tell her the truth and she hates me few days later she wants to stay friends but she kept saying she missed me. I just called her retarded for liking me and she broke down crying and i just laughed at it

You literally ran like a nigger. Haul ass at first touch. What a hero.

You're retarded

>gf breaks up with me
>see her a few months later
>she has a new boyfriend and actually looks happy
>spread disgusting rumors about her being a whore using fake facebook accounts
>remember how she liked to go out every saturday with friends to go see movies as a girl's weekend
>message her new boyfriend anonymously through the aforementioned accounts telling him that she's been sucking off dudes behind her back on saturdays
>no one even suspects me
>he breaks up with her a few days later
>she loses her job because of the stress
>moves back in with her parents
>saw her at the community college, found out she's taking classes there to pursue a new career
>apparently she's been suffering bouts of depression
>message her on more fake accounts telling her that she's useless and that she should just give up and live with her parents forever because no man would love her
>find out she dropped out
>finally made her account private so I couldn't harass her with the fake accounts anymore
>gave up and started doing other stuff

I don't know why I did it, I just wanted to see if I could I guess. Wasn't even a bad breakup or anything, we were still on talking terms and even got coffee a few times. Maybe I'm just fucked in the head.

Good thing she was right in dumping your douchebag ass and you proved her right.

you suffer from a rare condition called pathological liar.

Its common among socially inept teens

I actually still talk to her regularly.

oh so you're friendzoned now, good upgrade.

doesn't matter, youre a plain douche user

he probably browses Sup Forums too

>rare condition
>it is common

uhh bro?

after what you posted, I'm the douche? gg

Nah he was like valedictorian, probably off doing some nerd shit

Yeah I know I am. I realize that what I did was a huge dick move.

Good, it's good that you realize it and properly internalize this. It's a learning experience.

Afros are rare yet common among the black set
Huge noses are pretty rare, common among jews
Fags are at least uncommon, incredibly popular among OPs
I could go on

I would do it again though. I'd probably still be doing it if she hadn't made her account private.

I have no regrets.

During the day of 9/11 when they held a moment of silence in my school I thought it would be funny to fart so hard I almost shit myself. Staff was pissed and a lot of students were pissed, a lit of people started rolling laughing though.

Grow and become better, realize she had a good reason for dumping you, she had early warning signs.

"U ran pussy"
"Dorks"

Sounds like you were av and found something most wouldn't admit is funny, but all in all, is

Did i miss something, is it summer again already? This guy was jc u itty bitty baby bitches

>be funny to fart so hard I almost shit myself. Staff was pissed and a lot of stu
How do you fart on command like this? I need this skill.

Well she dumped me because I didn't drive and I didn't have a job at the time.

Traps are agenda? I thought chicks with dicks are just more fun.

She dumped you because of your borderline personality disorder.

I was holding in a huge fart and the opportunity was there to force it out for laughs.

He had to act like a man raised by a woman*

My dad skipped out, but young man, even at your age i wasn't this dumb, you need a strong, intelligent male figure(s) to look up to.

Grow a pair and expect her to be a crazy bitch next time, hold it or don't, but don't get your knickers in a bunch about it

Nah fam. i never did stuff like while we were dating.

The agenda there is homosexuality. If we don't reproduce we are doing their work for them.

Bump

Dont reproduce? What?

>He could have gotten laid by holding the door for an obnoxious black girl and her friend
I'm sure he really wanted that

Gay people tend not to have biological babies. Turn your enemies gay and in one mere generation you've just about killed em off.

There was a girl i agreed to go out with in high school and stood up repeatedly. After I said I'd go out with her I realized I didn't really want to, and so I kept telling her when I was supposed to pick her up we'd go out next week. I couldnt bring myself to just nut up and go on a date, so I stood her up once a week for 2 months. That girl still looks pissed every time she sees me and that was 8 years ago.

yeah but there's always gonna be closet homo's having babies.

Yeah for sure. I was just highlighting that the trap spam rampant on this board is actively working against us, so long as there are impressionable folks here.

Not me, but one of the retarded kids came to school in a shirt one day that said "gone to my happy place, he back soon". Someone so retarded you know their parents had to put that shirt on them.

be me , prison guard.
Inmate "Inca demon" is fucking with me...
So , find out Inca demon is a kiddy raper ..
Make note in log book about his "protected status".
Nigger inmate reads log book tells barrio warriors about kiddy raper......
(fake) Log book ...."disappears" ..
Two days later , Inca demon is looking up at the ceiling of the chow hall with 5 punctures of his chest... he died.
Good news ! I Made a butt load of over time money covering the killing !

>This took place when I was in high school.
>This Indian chick (dot not feather) I knew was probably the most annoying chick ever
>I tried to be nice but she was such a bitch.
>Thought she knew everything.
>She was a teachers pet and would rat on people constantly.
>She acted like she was hot but she was not.
>I also knew had never eaten meat in her life.
>I'm guessing it was a family thing or some religious shit.
>She never shut up about how she never ate meat.
>So one day, while we were at lunch she got up and went to the bathroom.
>I grabbed a few pepperonis from my pizza and I ran to her veggie sandwich which was also on some weird ass bread
>I placed the greasy pepperoni's in her sandwich.
>3 total
>I ran back to my side of the table.
>Only my best buddies knew.
>Sitting and waiting for her inevitable return.
>She comes back and sits down
>Moment of truth
>She lifts the sandwich to her mouth and bites down.
>Nothing yet...the peps must be getting close... I hope she doesn't notice.
>She takes a bigger bite.
>I literally see the face of someone that has never tasted meat... taste meat.
>She keeps chewing she swallows.
>Good girl
>Now she knows something is wrong.
>I see her look at her sandwich.
>She throws the bread away from her food
>She digs deep
>I can hardly control my laughter
>She pull out the pepperonis and lifts them into the air like a priest holds the Eucharist
>She yells "What is this"
>It gets quiet
>She starts crying
>She throws the pepperoni's at some other dude she thinks did.
>Dude is constantly in detention and and asshole.
>He gets pissed
>Handfull of spaghetti with meat sauce is thrown back at her.
>There is now meat on her face as well as in her belly
>Laughter erupts
>Total Carrie moment
>Chick runs out of the cafeteria with spaghetti on her face
>TFW nothing happens to me cause she was too afraid to say anything cause she started a "food fight"

That was probably like in the top 5 worst things I did to a girl.

>Be me working in recruitment at my firm
>I get to choose candidates from all of the applications
>I also interview candidates when they are selected
>I randomly throw away exactly half of the applications without looking at them
>I don't want unlucky people working at my firm
>I consider the applicants and if two are equally good I literally flip a coin
>I don't want unlucky people at my firm, remember?
>Always get good appraisals from my boss for finding good workers, a promotion and several raises
>I am one of the lucky workers
>I've been here 14 years and I still don't really know what I'm doing
>Some of the applicants I've hired over the years are really grateful towards me as
>they didn't think they'd get the job with their experience/qualifications
>They all think I saw something in them/gave them a chance, consequently they work harder and more diligently
>I quite literally don't give a fuck about a single one of them
>I use the same system when deciding who gets laid off

...

Checked

>be 20
>smoke
>at supermarket with friends
>they have this card system, grab a card from the shelf display, pay at the register.
>stocking girl stands next to it just filled it up
>shes a 7,4/10 looks like shit, tired maybe 17 black hair
>she stacked it to high on the sloped display
>i grab one card and the air surface cohesion breaks
>cards fly all over the place
>she looks annoyed as fuck
>look at the cards fly hand stretched out (lol)
>turn around walk away
>"Hey, are you not gone clean that up?
>Nope you stacked them to high
>walked to the register, stood in line for another 2 minutes watching her squat down picking up the cards

nigger

>You could've gotten laid
bestiality? you sick fuck

You're a psycho.

spotted the borderline.

>dated a girl that at one point I swear, was my "soul mate"
>says she wasnt happy and breaks up with me 6 months in
>took it horrible worst feeling ever
>takes me a year to get over her and be happy with myself
>meet new grill 7.8/10
>nice, cute, we start dating
>ex starts stalking me and calling me telling me about all the good times and how she has only ever loved me
>I use evasive wording just enough to the point to keep her dragged along, and doing nice things to make me happy
>Now I have a great gf and basically a slave
>pretty cuntish but its coo