Anyone else here on the verge of taking their own life? share your short story

Anyone else here on the verge of taking their own life? share your short story

>25, unemployed neet who has barely worked at all in my life
>left school at 16 due to a sudden onset of social anxiety
>have mooched off my parents ever since and have lived a pretty ''comfortable'' life of playing video games every day with my friends
>had a serious relationship of 4 years that my gf ended recently due to me being a lazy piece of shit whos going nowhere
>anxiety and depression is getting worse every day now
>almost always sweating from my hands, feet, groin/crack (not overweight at all, actually on the slimmer side)
>always feel hot inside my body, like im barely ever comfortable in my own skin
>strongly considering suicide it's just a matter of how i'd go about it
>ausfag so no gun for ez method

literally move out of your parents house. you don't live with them after 18. that's my best advice. GET. OUT. and don't give me bullshit about not being able to find a job, if you're in the US then that's just not an excuse. take my advice

>24, unemployed neet who has NEVER worked
>left school at 14
>i mooch, but i don't waste time on video games... i try to do things to educate and better myself.

if you're a qt grill and you want to double suicide, hit me up. if not, kys.

Pretty much same story except I'm obese and never had a girlfriend. So on that regard you can consider yourself lucky. I've thought of suicide for a while now and decided that if I did it I would buy 3 bottles of Jack Daniels then scull them until I pass out, it seems like the most painless method available to be that isn't jumping off a tall building, but I'm terrified of heights. They say that suicide is a selfish act but isn't it more selfish to make my family watch my life slowly degrade? Regardless I know they love me and would be devastated even though I've done nothing to deserve their love and this is the only reason I havn't done it.

25
Virgin ( never kissed or seen boobs)
Throw up every day
Bloody mucus filled shits
Cough up black bits
3 inch dick
Half of teeth defective and failing
Bad eyesight
Persistent sores in between thighs
Lost 120 lbs and developed health problems from it. Then gained weight back and still have most of them
Family poor
No joy in life
Deliver pizza job that's shitty
Get customers that are covered in their shit
Get customers that rip me off
Slowly dying
More tired every day
All life is sleep wake up work go home sleep.
Don't even want to smoke weed or drink anymore
Can't afford gun to blow brains out
Fundamental hatred of the human race
Want all people to die forever
Please kill me

OP here and yeh the family situation is the same for me really, but i honestly don't see my life getting any better.. regarding your method though, ive been looking into ways to go about it and alcohol seems to be pretty low on the list of ways to go about it. I assume like most forms of overdose its pretty unreliable on actually killing you and i don't want to end up in an even shittier scenario

to all of you 20-something NEET faggots in this thread: I hope you realize that while you're jacking off to traps at 2am in your mom's basement there are people your same age that are risking their lives every day on the line of duty so that you may continue your lifestyle. you are the weakest, most pathetic humans to have ever inhabited the Earth. 50,000 years of evolution and this is what comes from it... unbelievable

I have a job and make 14$ an hour. Can't even afford the ghetto part of town where you get raped also have to give my parents alot of my earnings since my mom's 78K salary isn't enough to pay my dad's Parkinson's medicines and doctor visits. They cost 36K a year just to take care of him.

I'd rather die than have those people not die. If I could kill myself to kill them I would.

jesus christ that sounds terrible.. isnt it easy/cheap as fuck to get a gun in america? or has tv/media been lying to me?

lmao troll or not thats a ridiculous statement but yeh as a neet you generally do feel pretty pathetic, hence the whole wanting to take your own life

yeah, killing militarily inferior mudslimes 8,000 miles away is why i can sleep at night...
just stop.

You waste time on Sup Forums you faggot

Holy shit

get help for your mental bullshit.
get away from that neet shit.
get a place to live.

i used to be a pathetic piece of shit like you, then i stopped.

pic related, my wife playing vidya in our living room.

i waste the last 1-2 hours of 16-18 hours of productivity before i sleep, you waste every hour of your life and you know it.

phonea retarded and didnt upload pic. fuck me.

Real estate owning jew detected. I'm able to save twice as much money for having no rent to pay.
>be 12, first plan of attempting suicide due to being bored and self hating
>too pussy to do it, I think to myself 'You're gonna regret this'
>I give life another go and get a few good days but mostly ass
>Have shit luck with everything, no special skills, social phobia, speech impediment and other health problems.
>Meet qt grill online at 17 and start talking daily
>Life is still shit and I don't think I'm right for her. Try to hang self in some forest
>Rope breaks and I walk back
>She meets me 5 years later only to kiss and dump me for chad the day later
>Finally got a job at 24
>Making money and killing time playing vidya
>Building up the courage to go out with a bang

Right there with you my guy. It's fucked up ain't it.

does having someone to fuck you help with the shame of venetian blinds and walmart lamps?

>go out with a bang
? what do you mean by that

Nothing, officer

I don't care anymore. I'm just trying to stay alive long enough to potentially kill millions of people with some super disease or set fire to a nuclear reactor or summon a force of unspeakable evil to devour the souls of man. Anything that can destroy as much of the human race as possible. We have no purpose . We are a failed species. We should all die and let some other species have a go. We are inherently detrimental to the entire universe and our Extinction is for the greater good. I'm going to bed

They are much more superior than you are...they do something at least...you only shitpost on the internet and have no life

lmao you guys sound sadistic
i only hate myself, plenty of good people in the world

the shit tier blinds still block the sun and a shit tier lamp still uses the same bulbs.
to answer your question, having someone to fuck, play video games with, go hiking, travel, experience life with is definitely worth having shitty blinds, lol.

your magination has gotten out of control again we both know you've been in your parents basement the past 24 years masterbating to traps on Sup Forums while mommy and daddy wipe your ass and feed you

at least those "mudslimes" do something for a cause they see as good.

cast the line, caught a tadpole..

boring
really?

>10
>have a happy childhood
>16
>realize your childhood was actually sad but you didn't notice
>be sad
>18
>no idea what to do with your life

Fuck you dude I have anxiety and depression but I also have a totally screwed life. Sometimes it's not so bad simply because I'm just working to survive so I have a purpose sort of for getting out of bed so maybe I should check my privileges but nah man fuck you like even as a neet you're better than me. When people ask why I'm not doing this or that I can say I'm poor but that doesn't cover it. It's not good enough or it's just depressing. I can't even get super buff or focus on my talents because I have no time. You still have time. 30 is the new 20. You're feeling shitty because you haven't made anything of yourself. Good. You haven't lost your drive entirely. If your problem is your 'self' maybe your goal should be your 'self' itself. Don't worry about 'you'. Focus on your self.

The thought of french kissing a mossberg has been in the back of my head for as long as I can remember, it's not even a big thought at this point
> What should I make for dinner tonight?
> My laundry should be ready to move to the dryer soon
> Maybe today I'll kill myself
> Anything good on tv?
Basically, pic related

Christ, user. You are basically me, aside from a few minor details.

Also:
>almost always sweating from my hands, feet, groin/crack (not overweight at all, actually on the slimmer side
Get checked for hyperthyroidism.

I'm in the same boat. Except I
>Possibly have diabetes or some other health issue. I pee like every hour. Sometimes multiple times in an hour. Can't see a doctor. Can't afford a doctor.
>Have fucked up teeth due to poor decisions and bad parenting.
>Haven't had a job due to extreme social anxiety, due to bad teeth.
>Have no money to get my teeth fixed due to no job.
>Rotted away my entire life playing video games or on internet.
>No marketable skills.
>No motivation to learn marketable skills.
>To scared to kill myself, so I just wait for it to happen "naturally".

I've honestly thought about, and I know it sounds stupid, wearing a mask and trying to fight criminals in my shithole town.

It's riddled with druggies and criminals. That way I can at least try to do something with my life. Before I'm gone. And if I get killed in action, well so be it.

I'm not fat either, I'm rather thin. I'm not physically strong, so I would carry bat or something.

Just stupid thoughts I have, but something I'm actually considering.

Not OP, but I think it's not uncommon to have thoughts that stem from sheer desperation; it's just like a drive to do something, ANYTHING. I once thought about joining the French Foreign Legion, and even becoming a buffalo herder on the plains of Mongolia. Nah, that last part was a joke. But yeah, I get what you mean.

I don't know what to tell you man apart from the advice that has literally been told a million times before to everyone who's feeling depressed.
Your life isn't going to get any better unless you make active steps toward it.

Suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

Haha the older you get the more you realise no one has a fucking clue what they're doing.
You only live once. Don't take life to seriously, set yourself some short term goals and try to enjoy it.
Also if you feel sad for the love of God get off Sup Forums.
I like browsing the site as it gives me the perspective not to let myself get so depressed anymore.

Op I'm in the same shoes as you do actually sounds like my exact story.
Hit my Peak at 19 I'm 28 now. Tried working on myself several times to try to feel better about who I am and nothing matters. Held a job for 7 years only for it to end badly in a lawsuit that was not my fault and I can't really put that one place I worked at as a reference or experience... Was a fast food place anyways. All the friends I do have I feel like they're just using me. Relationships I've had failed miserably... Been engaged two or three times always left me for someone who had more going for them.. everytime I try to improve my life and make adjustments it always fails and I'm a disappointment to my family and the people I care about. Been in and out of the asylum with no signs of progress. Fucking people are always telling me you need to just work on yourself keep your head up blah blah blah most of those motherfuckers don't know what it's like to suffer and struggle. Born with what you would call a silver spoon in their mouth. They also don't know what it's like to have crippling social anxiety.. but yet I still Keep On Truckin.

Agree 100%, you cant sit around on your ass all day expecting depression/anxiety to get better. You have to make an effort. The longer OP sits and does nothing, the worse its gonna get.

Have you ever thought about killing yourself though?

ausfag here as well OP who's basically in the same situation.

So far the best way of committing suicide is to go to a shooting range and turn the gun on myself.

For example I was horribly depressed several years ago and I have pretty bad anxiety for my whole life essentially.
It hard to remember but unless I exercise a few times a week my anxiety will get super bad again and make it difficult to leave the house.
The point is that as I get older I get slightly better at dealing with it. I take the stuff I've learned and I turn it into a habit so that over time its harder to wallow than actively address my problems.
Its difficult seeing these other guys who have depression and anxiety when some of them have never had jobs or left their parents homes. I can imagine myself in their shoes.

Everyday man, everyday...
Didn't even tell you half of the other shit that's happened to me. I love it how when people are like you can't just sit around all day and feel sorry for yourself. Go eat a dick people. Obviously you don't know what it's like to suffer from depression. I'm a pretty active dude with Hobbies. Go on dates with some pretty hot bitches.. but none of it really matters.

But despite all of that OP
I still carry on... The thought is in my head every day though. It's a really shity feeling to not be able to tell anybody about it. If I tell the doctors they want to put me back in the hospital if tell my friends they tell my family then I'm back in the hospital.

>play video all day
>neglectful passive parents who allow this behavior

It's going to sound very obvious, but it's your lifestyle. Video games are your psychological drug, your distraction. All your stress hits at once because you're not responding to it (it's the chemical that makes us want to change and adapt) and I doubt your diet is good. If you're not hydrated, and eat salty, malnourished food, you're going to feel hot, sore, tired, gross, etc. On top of that is lack of socializing, lack of confidence, lack of motivation, all signs of depression. Why don't you talk to your parents about these feelings and try to get help?

Yeah alcohol ain't gonna work, bud, especially if you're a bigger guy

So what I'm trying to say Op
I don't know you but I feel for you
And i know where you're coming from and I know how much hurts...
Don't give up.. please.. I'm not going to tell you there's something that will make everything better.. I'm just saying don't let life make you it's bitch.

I'm sorry to hear about that man. I think its maybe a consequence of our modern lifestyle that so many of us find so little meaning in our lives. I can't say I know what its like to suffer from chronic depression but its sounds like you've been through a lot and its commendable that you're still struggling onwards.

Overdosing is the least-successful suicide method; your brain has a built-in vomit reflex that will purge everything you've consumed, even after you pass out. My cousin is a nurse and has seen countless incidents in which people mix alcohol + pills as a suicide method, and it doesn't work because they spray it all up after they pass out, and in some cases they are left with permanent liver damage afterwards.

...

i appreciate the words dude
its weird because i feel like my sweating is almost all ''anxious sweating'' but even if i do have hyperthyroidism, there isnt really anything that can be done for it is there? not from what ive seen anyway.. i used to sweat bad from my underarms but started using a product called driclor and that made my hands and other areas a lot worse :/
so your anxiety revolves around having bad teeth and being ashamed of it?
i know man, its like that
anxiety is such a curse huh, i cant make excuses though im lucky to have such supportive parents who have looked after me and supported me mentally and financially.. im just such a weak person and my mental health is just spiraling down and down

Hyperthyroidism can cause anxiety, can cause a person to be perpetually underweight (metabolism is too fast all the time) and can cause somebody to be hot and sweaty even when it isn't hot outside. There are drug treatments for it though. Usually a pill taken every day that inhibits your thyroid gland a little bit to stop it overproducing thyroxine. I'm not saying that you have it for sure, but it's something you might want to ask a doctor about.

i 100% get where you're coming from and at times i've been very addicted to the vidya (WoW, GW2, Flyff) but for the past couple years i had been playing a lot less and had no problem not being on the computer.
My GF had me out a lot more and kept me challenging myself but since i lost her i've lost any will that i had.

My parents know all the details and i have seen several psychologists over the years, i was in hospital a few weeks ago involuntarily (psychologist put an ITO on me because of what i was saying to him (that i've felt strongly suicidal)

i'm seriously a mentally weak piece of shit, there's no other way of putting it. i have no self worth and no motivation anymore, ive been lazy for so long and now im so much worse than ive ever been..

ah sorry bud, even though i physically typed it i wasn't paying attention to the word.. i have been checked for overactive thyroid, a couple times.. i misread it as hyperhidrosis

Oh ok. Well think yourself lucky then. That's a hell of a bullet to dodge.

We don't have rituals that force us to face adversity anymore. Scarification, being abandoned in the woods, the hunt. You have to make them yourself. You're not sick of living, you're sick of living the way you are. Answer the call.

>I have a good life.
>I have loving people
>I hate myself everyday for being me
>5 times I have contemplated killing myself with a noose around my neck, always chicken out.
>1 time didn't chicken out, noose just wasn't sturdy, stayed alive with a mild neck pain
>I don't seek help, I don't need it.
>I daily wish for a way to kill myself
>I'm okay, I just want to die

not my fault i cant join the army because of a involuntary manslaughter charge

Well, if you were charged then doesn't that technically mean it kind of was your fault? People don't get convicted of things that they didn't have a choice in.

You don't like being you. If you have a stable job you can be the you you want to be if you can afford it. Get some help, and get a hobby or learn a language until you've mastered it, then move to the next thing. People will respect your growth and love you more for it.

>Anyone else here on the verge of taking their own life?

no youre a special case, we're all happy and healthy here and none of us have problems, wtf is even anxiety and depression ? put it in layman terms man not all of us went to med school, god you millennials are so pretentious

you might be me

>20 years old
>Have gf
>Have minimum wage job
>Still live at home
>Miss smoking a lot
>Have no ambitions

life doesn't treat me so bad, I just do it all to myself

>You don't like being you.
Pretty much.
>Get some help
I prefer not. I am already a poorfag.
>Get a hobby lear a language until you've mastered it
Funny thing is I've tried. Just like I've tried killing myself. But, I've learned with time, that I am a lost cause. I've tried and given up, tried and given up. I literally could go on and do it, but I don't, because I've made myself not do it. It is to the point that I know that I won't kill myself. And that is the part that most annoys me about myself. I don't, when I could, and I won't, because I'm me. And a lost cause like me would be better off death.
>you might be me
I hope not. You are worthy of living, I don't

I'm this guy I might be worthy of living, I just don't care for it much

I have no life advice. I just hope that you will get that missing ambition, because you have a lot of potential, and a little push will make you go big.
But hey, I'm a stupid fag, I don't know anything. All I know is you are a special dude

Thank you based trips, this made me feel a lot better

21 years old loser here, not fat or particulary ugly, just never had a girlfriend or any kind of job.
I finished school 3 years ago and my parents have been threatening to kick me out since, feels like they might actually do it in next few weeks so i'm probably gonna kill myself then.
The reason for this kind of life is that i ended up finishing shitty school and i cano nly work a shitty minimum wage job i probably mentally couldn't work for more than a week.

You're a sheltered little bitch who is too afraid to actually try. Hopefully you do get kicked out so your natural will to live will kick in. Or not.

Try what? I literally can't do anything besides some minimum waged jobs, even impossible for me to live alone even if i get a job (i probably wouldn't get kicked if i got a job)

If you really think that's all you can get then take it. Work that shitty minimum wage job until you want to kill yourself more than you do now and use that as motivation to learn some kind of useful skill, through school or practice or whatever the fuck else. Then sell yourself for more than minimum wage like the rest of us.