JUST
>The former “Baywatch” star can no longer afford the $21,000-per-month alimony payments to ex-wife Pamela Bach as he claims less than $4,000 to his name, according to TMZ. Hasselhoff, 63, who filed court documents last month to cut off the payments, has shelled out $2.3 million to his former spouse since their divorce in 2006.
>2.3 million.
Why not just kill the bitch? I literally would. Fuck it, you'd be a legend in prison, not have to worry about food or bills ever again.
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If he invested properly he could make 2.3 million a year in dividends
High life, high bills
His problems man. I'll never see such money in my entire life so, a good shower of humility never hurts
KEK. I saw this and couldn't stop laughing/thinking JUST FUCK MY SHIT UP.
>Why not just kill the bitch? I literally would.
I'm thinking about writing a novel, tentatively called "Lady Killer" about a hitman that does just that. He kills ex-wives who exploit husbands wallets because it's cheaper for the guys to pay him his fee then continue to pay her.
One of the many reasons I'm never getting married.
>"S-sure. We can get a divorce, honey."
>immediately sell all properties
>immediately put all money into a bank in Trinidad
>immediately move to Singapore
>immediately call soon-to-be ex-wife and fart into her voicemail
You will also never get to drive K.I.T.T.
I'd shill for it to be made into a movie. And attempt to get Fraser and Hasselhoff cast
Could literally charge a million dollars a hit, and they'd take it.
That's actually not a bad idea! It sounds cruel and harsh but the point/theme of the novel is how fucked the whole divorce and family court system is.
What if divorce happens and court orders you to pay huge amounts of money to ex wife and you move out of the country and transfer your money to other bank?
Can you avoid paying the alimony that way?
like this
Fuck. Maybe I should marry David Hasselhoff.
>21,000 a month
You think that's bad?
[spoiler]She now gets 72,000 a month[/spoiler]
>Can you avoid paying the alimony that way?
They would send the local sheriff after you.
alimony is best meme
GERMANS LOVE DAVID HASSELHOFF
JUST
>I'm thinking about writing a novel, tentatively called "Lady Killer" about a hitman that does just that. He kills ex-wives who exploit husbands wallets because it's cheaper for the guys to pay him his fee then continue to pay her.
Shitty name.
Lady Killer is the name of about a dozen movies and books.
You need a unique name that is mildly clever, but not too hard to "get".
Try "The Wedding Cleaner"
ONE GIANT STEP CLOSER TO FORMING THE JUSTICE LEAGUE.
plus they were only married for a couple years with no kids. fucking bitch
Though Johnny was smarter than that
I'm gonna go with prenuptial agreements if I marry.
>sister got divorced
>agreed to not take any alimony since she made the same as him more or less
>gave him back the rings amicably
>wishes him luck
My mom is the one who convinced her to give the rings back though. I'm sure itd be different if they split ugly but agreed their jobs weren't good for marriage.
GERMANS ASSEMBLE
it is our Teutonic duty to help David Hasselhoff, after everything he did for our people.
Please donate to him what you can and give something back.
Thank you and good night
prenups don't even work anymore
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This. Hell, make it look like an accident and get only a couple years with manslaughter.
I guarantee it'd be a household name and sell millions.
>prenups
>meaning anything
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAA
Oh, you sweet, sweet, naive child.
>Tfw indian and gf is white
>Tfw I plan on marrying her
>Tfw if I marry her and she divorces me I'll just run away to India with my Jew gold where feminists can't do shit
someone buy that man a cheeseburger!!
if you have that much money and your spouse is worth nothing financially, why even get married?
At least you're safe, Pajeet. Hide it in a loo and they'll never find it.
>tfw mom doesn't approve
>tfw you have to tell Whitey McPrincess goodbye
>tfw when you're sent back to a poo-infested shithole by your parents, lest you dilute your superior Indian seed
i know how this goes
Alimonicide
I was always skeptical about getting married for this very reason, this has sealed the deal for me. Thanks op. I worked hard for my well paying job and I don't want to give any of it up
>Mfw can't tell if sarcasm or just a leaf being super agreeable
He probably hide the money.
good for him if so.
To any of you faggots who advocate that men should get married in this day and age, eat shit.
Not even The Hoff is invulnerable to gynocentrism.
whatcha mean?
Hasselhof USED to have money, and his wife was a Baywatch star, so i would assume she did, too.
i'm not sure why he's paying her so much, though.
>Lady Killer is the name of about a dozen movies and books.
Didn't know that. I got the name from that perk in Fallout 3 haha.
I can go back to the drawning board on the name.
If it's referenced in a fallout game you KNOW it's an outdated overused trope.
that's just fact, user
i mean why bother
marriage is somewhat beneficial to people who don't have lots of money, but if you already have financial security just get married in a lil chapel and fuck the government's involvement
if she loves you she'll stay, if not you'll dodge a bullet
Make the Hoff great again!
Till Death Do You Part
>He probably hid the money.
THIS man:
doesn't have any money, user.
he's gettin' by on cheap vodka and charity cheeseburgers.
If you do call it "lady killer" , you could make the assassin a female.. double entendre
this is a good idea, as are those names
get on with it faggot, it's a great idea for a book, or even a game
>immediately call soon-to-be ex-wife and fart into her voicemail
she wouldn't feature in alimonicide then, faggot
looks like you never heard of outliers
>get married in a lil chapel and fuck the government's involvement
i agree with that 1000%.
government has absolutely no business granting marriage "licenses." before i married my wife, i told her my position on that, and told her i just wanted to have a private ceremony where we exchanged vows.
she sympathized and understood my reasoning, but she didn't bite.
I used to read this comic called "accident man", where he was an assasin that made it look like an accident
pretty good, can't remember what happened to it
Reminder this is the same reason why Robin Williams committed suicide.
Gold digging bitches act like being married is a death sentence for them.
It's a death sentence for hard working men.
I dated a chink and an Arab and a Kurd before this girl, my mom realized I wouldn't date Indian girls a while back so she told me as long as I don't marry a Muslim or nigger it's cool.
India's pretty cool if you have money. I usually just stay in a condo and play video games and get some poor person to get me pizza, weed and alcohol.
Fucking women
"Get married and have kids goy"
This is the result, fuck that shit.
OOOOOOUT OF TIME
RUNNING IN AND OUT OF TIME
Every girl wants a huge wedding tho, you're literally less of a man if you can't provide your wife with an extravagant wedding.
Don't you think it's sad that something that's legally binding should not be easily thrown out in court? Poor guy never had a chance, at least he knows now.
Tbh movie stars are pretty retarded and deserve this shit, if you don't marry a dumb bitch this won't happen.
JUST is a subhuman Mexican redditor meme and you faggot's need to fuck off.
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You should call it "DIEVORCE!" and have the killer wear a trench coat, and a fedora. His weapon should be a katana... that has been folded a thousand times of course.
>implying the technology in that car was real
>Implying it wasn't
I'm agreeing. I've thought of this myself - that simply killing your wife instead of paying alimony and child support until you die is better in the long-term. Don't even have to feel guilty over it, she was slowly killing you, and you had to survive.
Why is a thousand folds so unreasonable? That's only shaping the metal 10 tines over. Or were katanas forged from cast blanks?
I don't get this point
Why does America even have alimony?
Here the wives of rich guys are constantly nervous wrecks as they try to stay pretty and accommodating for a guy who barely loves them and will trade them in for a new model. They're neurotic as fuck, especially in groups. It's sad and hilarious. Point being, we don't do alimony and divorce settlements will favour the one who can afford the better lawyer.
it wasnt
how is this a problem though? 75k a month = 900k a year. the dude was certainly earning millions of dollars a year
you seriously don't have alimony?
can I move there please, I'm a hard working anglo lad.
Faggots think folding a sword a thousand times meant it was really strong. In reality Japan just had really shitty steel and they had to do it. I think anyway, someone else here would know more about it I'm sure.
>High life, high bills
Unless you have a vagina. Then you get free millions.
dievorce is good
not sure about a katana though, I favor accidents
>how is this a problem though?
It's a problem because it's theft. She doesn't require alimony. They don't have kids. She also produces nothing.
REMEMBER THE ALIMONY
>Falling for the marital Jew
JUST
Yeah it would be like making payments on a car that stopped running years ago.
F
That makes sense. Surprised I got a serious answer and not a shitpost.
>you'd be a legend in prison
People who kill women and children are generally reviled by prisoners regardless of motive.
This was my idea from the beginning
According to who?
his prison boyfriend
You really think that would fly in America?
GRORIOUS NIPPON STEEL
t. tyrone
When it comes to women it's circumstantial, like if she tried to stab you, was a crazy bitch, or as OP said was a gold digging whore who ruined your life financially.
t. Felon
/k/ here, he's a faggot trying to out meme the rest of you faggots.
it's not theft. it's assets they've earned while in marriage, ergo their joint assets. and from the looks of it the judge obviously awarded him majority of marital assets. and the dude kept all the assets he had prior to his marriage.
don't be a tard who falls for le 50% of muh property in divorce meme
>She doesn't require alimony.
first of all I don't think this is alimony, rather a method of how they're gonna divide their marital assets. second, even if it was, vast majority of family laws have articles pertaining to *accustomed lifestyle* though this probably isn't the case seeing as how short their marriage was
>They don't have kids
kids have nothing to do with alimony. child support is different from alimony
I thought I was pretty obvious with the trench coat, fedora thing... No need for fussin' and a feudin'
>it's assets they've earned while in marriage, ergo their joint assets.
The fuck are you talking about? He has to continually pay her. If it was fair it would have been a single payment or sold property, if it was, "jointly earned." Just as is it was, "jointly spent," DURING THE MARRIAGE.
>I don't think...
Nice way to talk right out of your ass.
>le accustomed lifestyle meme
She was accustomed to marriage, too. She should be ordered to stay married.
>child support is different!
No shit. But alimony is supposed to be payment to a woman that can't support herself outside of a marriage. No kids means she chose not to work, she was restricted from working. Which is the fucking point.
And ANY payment over time to a woman is alimony. Period. Stop with the goddamn liberal semantics and tell the truth.
He's being robbed so she can be a slut.
Women no, children yes.
>Reminder this is the same reason why Robin Williams committed suicide.
if you think Robin Williams INTENTIONALLY committed suicide with the purpose of having someone find him in that condition, then congrats. you are officially a giant fucking retard.
So it's going to be The RAPEMAN the book? Well what else after countless movies, manga and OVA. I would torrent the pdf.
Hey Hoff, thank you very much for your help to tear down the Berlin wall!
might as well , common law will get ya anyways
ok.. but how do we save him?
>if you think Robin Williams INTENTIONALLY committed suicide with the purpose of having someone find him in that condition, then congrats. you are officially a giant fucking retard.
Is this about the auto-erotic asphyxiation thing?
Maybe I got women conflated with children or maybe I just made the assumption after hearing about treatment of wife/gf beaters. I'm looking and I can't find anything about the topic online.
If alimony is just, why isn't a fixed percent of annual income? Say you make 5 squid a year, bitch gets 1 squid, you make 5000000 squid, she gets 1000000 squid. For a judge to set down a set amount per year, whatever a person is making, is stupid. If they were still married, they be living through hard times together right now so that should be reflected in the alimony payments. I'm aware this is open to abuse by hiding income but to punish someone for the terrible crime of trying to make a family is abysmal.
>INTENTIONALLY committed suicide
if it was accidental, then it wasn't suicide
I went to go eat dinner and I was literally thinking that as a name. That one works pretty good too.
I get that but I want the struggle of the main character to be uniquely masculine. This about the man's side of the story in this divorce happy shitfest culture.
>mfw richer than a celebrity nearly triple my age.