Work story thread Sup Forums

Work story thread Sup Forums

Not a story, more of a confession

I spend 3 - 8 hours my work week in the bathroom masterbating
Praise Satan for cellphones!

I worked at Archive Systems in Littleton Mass. We did data entry for medical companies. The night supervisor Dave was cool. But the woman who was the day supervisor was an absolute cunt. Miserable and nasty. She would make stuff up out of thin air and then belittle and bitch at employees for the things she made up. She constantly bragged about how fast she was at data entry and how she had to create the system that we used on her own and blah blah blah. Three weeks after I started so many people had quit that there was only one person who had been there longer than me. She was a horrible douchebag with a multitude of medical issues that she would go on and on about. One of the problems was a brain tumor, and in my opinion it might be affecting her behavior.
Miserable bitch.

the story of how I quit my job

>be me
>average joe from a poor background
>from the east coast
>specifically from the west side of Philadelphia
>so being from a poor background I never really had any electrical gadgets
>spend most of my time playing basketball with my pals
>one day a group of about 3 guys approaches us
>we had seen them around here before
>we knew there game they were always up to no good
>one of my friends dared me to insult the biggest guy I the group
>whythefucknot.gif
>you should have seen the guys face
>he went from angry to "imma kill you"
>get into a fight
>it wasn't much of a fight my friends backed me up
>over the past few months me and my moms relationship had been dwindling
>she finally snaps on me after the little fight
>"THATS IT user YOUR MOVING TO YOUR RELATIVES ON THE WEST"
>fuck.jpg
>the next day she storms into my room with a bag and a plane ticket
>"YOUR PLANES IN HALF AN HOUR OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW"
>literally kicked out
>finally after a lot of worrying I get on the plane
>damn they have some nice stuff on this plane
>orange juice in a champagne glass
>this might not be so bad
>finally land and get in a taxi
>after a lot of trouble I finally am at my aunts and uncles house
>over the following months i become known as the prince
>the prince of bel air

I got caught in a storage room having a mannequin orgy for lack of a better term by a lower level manager. He told me that if I sucked his dick he wouldn't say anything. I sucked his cock and then he watched me finish myself off with the mannequin.

I use to go back there and jerk off at least a couple times per week, only got caught the one time.

A lot of women (not all) with any power or authority whatsoever are like that. My theory is that it's the ones who are lesser educated who somehow managed to get into a position of authority. That's been my experience

>work at ups
>throw boxes around

>non english speakers walk in being loud
>a single drop of sweat rolls down my forehead

I had a manager one that was jewish, 400lbs, lesbian, dealt drugs out back, and robbed the store of at least 40k

If anyone cares I can greentext some of her bullshit

yes

Yes, this has also been my experience. Cunts.

Please

I'm a welding shop manager. One of my buddies came in hungover eating some Fiber One bars to get his guts straight. As I was giving him a rundown of his welding project, he did a slight lean to fart some god awful mess from his stomach. As he leaned, his eyes grew wide and he turned and took off to the bathroom. I looked down and saw literally shit on the floor. Motherfucker literally shit the floor. He text me two minutes later- "did you clean that up?"

id read

>Be me, work at noodles and company
>saute and noodle chef
>not a bad gig, started at $8.50 an hour, pretty good for a highschooler
>first manager was a dude, let's call him don
>don's an idiot but at least he isn't an asshole
>work from end of sophomore year to start of junior year
>come in one day in october, say hello to coworkers and whatnot
>"Hey user, the new general manager's here"
>I had no idea don was leaving
>go to the back, there she is
>One of the assistant managers introduces me
>"This is Mel, the new GM"
>Mel is a sphere
>Classic hooked jew nose, I shit you not
>XXXXL manager shirt, sleeves still constricting her arms

i fucking lol'd

was she selling butthash? Cause i'm pretty sure i already bought some from her before, her shit's stellar as fuck fam

I did not clean it up. I did take the picture and text it to everyone we knew. Still send it to him on his birthday every year

>Shake her hand, cold and sweaty as fuck
>Pleasantries, whatever, just let me go do my job now
>GM usually works day shifts, I was still in school so i figure I won't have to interact with her much
>wrong
>Mel stays until 8 PM every fucking day, store closes at 9
>stays clocked in too (illegal)
>hovers over everyone, points out mistakes, gets in the way
>Physically impossible to exit the kitchen if she's between you and the exit
>Reconsider dedication to job
>First time I ever saw her leave, she goes into the walk in cooler with a bundle of clothes
>Mel strips for 30 minutes during out pre close in the refridgerator so she can get in "comfy" clothes for when she goes home
>Emerges in jeans sagged to her knees, backwards baseball cap, hoodie
>What the living fuck is this
>She repeats this ritual every single fucking time she stays late

>be me
>doctor
>woman asks me what the best way to weigh her kids is
>water tank, I say
>she brings her son & daughter in that afernoon
>Saturday, as I recall
>both late teens
>ask them if they showered before coming
>neither did
>girl wears tight shorts and sport bra
>boy wears shorts
>get them in the tank
>girl asks if she can tie her hair back
>i tell her no
>she makes like she's gonna tie it back but then doesn't like you sometimes see girls do at the YMCA
>she enjoyed it
>boy didn't enjoy it at all

Kek

>trying to send business owner last nights audit
>click "attach" on email
>night audit isn't on the top of the list
>assume it organized the dates ascending instead of descending
>begin to scroll down
>after three scrolls I am greeted by thumbnails of photos of an ugly female cooworker
>legs up asshole and vagina visible
>pictures of her sucking two different dicks
>chubby beardy man smiling and giving a thumbs up with his face right next to her vagina
>fucking panic and call the manager
>she says "ill take care of it"
>next day
>cooworker in pictures was there and had to work with me
>i text the manager demanding this girls hours be cut around mine so I never have to see her again
>i got fired for this

>After about 2 weeks, one of the assistant managers gets tired of her shit, contacts regional manager
>Regional manager is an obvious tool that never stops fake smiling
>Come into work and watch the show
>middle aged man chewing out my obese hoodlum manager
>Mel is pissed at us for ratting her out
>Stays later each night, usually leaves after everyone who actually works the night shift
>We survive until mid december
>Mel eventually stops giving a shit, stops coming in at night
>praise god
>Get to january
>Come into work, shift is on saute
>check the sauces, usual shit
>check the pesto, unusual shit
>pesto sauce is normally green, lumpy and sticky, like actual pesto
>my pesto sauce today looks like newborn diarrhea
>"What the hell is this" I ask manager on duty
>manager on duty has no fucking clue
>asks other managers, including Mel, nobody knows
>After a week, we see the problem
>runny pesto after Mel's shifts
>she's trying to save money by watering down the sauces
>wierd cuz at this point she was already pocketing cash from the safe, none of us knew yet
>Call regional manager, mel gets more shit, nothing she can do to us though cuz now she doesn't know who told him

>beme autist who fucked school
>never had a job in 3 years of leaving school
> get autistic job from a employment course
> €50 per week working 50ish hrs doing dangerous shit on ladders and with electricity
> leave
> fall back into depression
>cant sleep at night
>come on b at night to occupy me from my mind
>come to this thread and post this
>????

kinda wish i kept doing it even if it was slave labour because it kept me busy.

>be me
>account manager at an Appraisal Management Company
>Call up an appraiser's office to get an ETA on when a report would be back so I can QC it and then send it off to the lender
>Secretary answers
>I say something along the lines of "uhhh crap, i accidentally closed out of the file, can you give me one moment?"
>Bitch starts flipping out on the phone
>"DID YOU JUST SAY CRAP?!?! THAT IS THE MOST UNPROFESSIONAL THING IVE EVER HEAR IN MY LIFE. HOW DID YOU EVEN GET THIS JOB WITH A MOUTH LIKE THAT?! WE WILL NO LONGER DO BUSINESS WITH YOUR AMC BLAH BLAH BLAH"
>Little did she know I had a pretty solid relationship with the appraiser she worked for and I buzzed him on his cellphone and explained to him what happened.
>Receive a call from her later that day apologizing for screaming at me for something so little.
>couple weeks later I heard the cunt was let go for having a go at someone else from some other company over the phone.

>mfw

>Mel makes it another month
>during this time, some needles are found in the men's bathroom
>Gee, who could this be
>She denies everything, gets away with it somehow
>Also there's a "skunk" by the dumpster
>Only shits itself during Mel's shift though
>Regional manager buys this somehow, he's still a tool
>Come in early february
>work with several decent chicks, some 6's and an 8
>8 is definitely into me
>Decide to go secret admirer
>Give some sappy shit to assistant manager
>"Hide this and make sure 8 sees it"
>wink wink, he's down
>next fucking day
>come in, 8 works the night shift too but starts an hour early
>"How are you user"
>"Great, how are you"
>"good"
>that's it?
>"anything interesting happen yet?"
>she says no
>what the hell
>investigate, learn that Mel worked this morning
>bitch took my assorted chocolates and tossed the card
>Mel's bottomless maw cockblocked me
>Explain to guy who hid the thing, he says he'll ask
>Mel says she didn't see the card and just assumed
>"Sorry user"
>Sorry doesn't get me laid
>or put $25 back in my wallet
>seriously consider quitting, homicide, etc

reading that makes me really angry

My heart goes out to you Sup Forumsro

>working at appliance store
>staff has no work ethic, delivery drivers are douchebags, etc
>Ramesh the sales manager keeps conning his indian friends to shop there
>Samjeet buys a fridge
>absolutely no problems during purchase or delivery
>six months pass, calls us
>"hey your delivery drivers dented my fridge, send me a new one"
>no
>"why"
>you've got like three days to report damage, not six months, get fucked
>loses his shit once a week at us for literally five months
>try to just take the fridge back for refund just to make him go away, wife refuses pickup, eventually HO sees the paperwork and voids it all
>try to replace it with a new one, nobody will book the delivery with us
>he keeps calling, screams at whoever he gets on the phone, multiple managers have hung up on him, has made various calldesk girls cry or come close to it
>eventually comes into the store in person
>Ramesh has long moved to a different store
>Samjeet yells at us for a while, pretty incoherent, clearly doesn't remember that we've been trying to help him without getting fired
>new manager tells him to go fuck himself and this is way outside policy
>he calls the cops on us "because we're unlawfully withholding his rightfully owned product"
>manager beats him down with harsh truths and indifference
>cop's gaze has all the emotion of a glazed donut
>eventually set up the exchange
>like we've been trying to do for months
>blacklist him
>as he's leaving, whisper in his ear "never shop here again"

>We get to mid April with only minor incidents
>8 and I still get together, Mel tries to employee handbook us but nobody cares
>Upcoming closing shift with only Mel as manager
>try not to shit pants
>walk in day of praying for mercy
>no Mel, only regional manager
>tool has gathered employees (minus Mel) at a table
>"Here's the deal, guys, Mel is a piece of shit and we fired her"
>reads some official statement from way up high in corporate
>we learn that Mel has skimmed cash from the safe for 3/4 of a year, our branch is down $40,000
>she's fled from the state, apartment empty, car missing
>even her girlfriend has no idea where she is
>To this day we don't know where she ended up, only that Noodles is suing her ass for everything she owns

>this

screencap'd for future keks

Good stuff, very entertaining. You have any more stories friend?

>shes found
>sued
>looses shitload of money
>company uses money to hire hit man on her
>never employ a jew again

At the end of all of it I still swapped v cards with 8 and Mel is likely eating shit as I type, but that was basically my junior year down the toilet
That's all I got. If you asked the day shift people I'm sure you'd get 10 times as many stories
We can dream, Sup Forums

Settle in and let me tell you the story of Ranj, Sup Forumsrothers.

>Be me
>Rent-A-Cop.exe
>Not great but pay is surprisingly good
>Work at shitty truck stop, sign in drivers
>Usually chill, have jack shit to do 97.9999% of the day
>Not allowed to leave until someone else shows up to work the next shift or fired
>Get off at 10
>10:07
>Fuckthisshit.img
>10:10
>Shitty Nissan that sounds like a lawnmower trying to give birth rolls up
>Short foreign dude inside
>Hello friend, is dis de... deeeee
>.....
>Ah, yes, I am here for de work for de secuuritay
>Where do I go?


Cont ------>

>Ahhh yes I see you are uniform may I come in
>Open door to let him in, smells like rotten ass and baby powder
>Small talk+Greetings.png
>My name is Ranj I am excited to do the protecting of others
>Give him the run down of the job, not hard, need iq of a brick to do it
>Okay ranj it was a pleasure to meet you do you need to know anything before I leave?
>Yees uh can you provide me with de report on your shift for my collection
>wtfareyousaying.plox
>Your collection?
>Yes I do not know how to read friend
>Mfw he doesn't know how to read
>Mfw my company somehow hired someone who can't read, literally at all
>Mfw when he somehow drove over an hour to get here alone