Love your girlfriend

>Love your girlfriend
>She's such a qt
>She's so sweet
>She cooks you dinner
>The weekend comes and she has plans
>You encourage that she goes out
>She leaves the apartment, at which you both live - quite contently, too
>Hours later, you receive a call from her friends
>"user, you need to come here now!"
>Worried, you rush over - only to find this --

Would you wipe her ass or would you leave her there?

Last time I left her there like that some random dude helped her clean up and ended fucking her. So now I just clean her up and take her home.

I'd clean her up, but she had better suck me down good in the following days.........
or never again that's what ah say.

you need to find girlfriends that don't shit themselves brah

ikr

Happens when you get to drunk.

>tfw no girlfriend who shits herself

why even live?

That's not just 1 persons shit.

Especially not drunk shit. That stuff's way too solid. Other people have shit on her for sure.

who produces that much shit?

Get a room.
Fags

how could anyone date a person that drinks so hard that they shit themselves?

All the rest of her girlfriends pooped on her too. And they used used tampons as lipstick. And peed in her apple juice.
Later, this older girl breastfed her cuz she was so distraught.

Can someone post an Andy Sixxx? That is a massive shit. Definitely creamy logs in there.

What's bad isn't that she got wasted and shit herself its how much shit came out. She was full of shit. That's a ton. Op no I wouldn't clean her up. I would take pics, get her up take her home let her clean herself up in the morning.

you are an alpha loser

college girls drink until they can show off how drunk they are (but aren't)
Then they hook up and drink more to blot out the loveless sex they're having.
They never really drink that much but they drink enough to get sick.
t. former Chad who drank to not blow his load immediately

This.

No man should have to date a girl that full of shit.

Look how much shit came from her asshole.

If you look closely, you will see that her thong actually split the turd in twain like the blade of a samurai.

I'm more amazed at how much sand is blowing out of your vaginas.

That's beautiful user.

cuck

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I love to ass fuck girls but this chick would shit all over you. After she was done with you well you would be a nignog. It would be bad. So in the morning you need to shit, brush your teeth, shower. Well you going to be waiting a while that girl shits more at one time than most will for the week.

>assfucks girls
>never encountered shit
Nope.

Agreed

dump the bitch....
el oh el

If I was alone with her, I'd pick up some shit, jerk off in the stall with it, clean her up, then take her home. No I don't ever have sex with a chic that's intoxicated. But I'll jerk off watching her.

>bathroom door bursts open as if a bomb went off on the other side
>i enter and see my damsel in distress
>M'LAAAADDYYYYYY i cry
>take 3 swift steps and execute a perfect knee slide
>these floors are no match for my wind-breaker pants
>accidentally underestimate my own strength and slide into her rib cage
>LearnToHarness.exe
>immediately start shit removal, using my hand as a backhoe
>finish cleaning her up and take her to my mom's apartment (mine's under renovation still)
>try to lay her down on the couch
>she wakes up and flips her lid
>pepper spray is dispersed
>she starts to beat the shit out of me
>i'm knocked unconscious from continuous throat punches
>wake up 3 hours later to find out that i shit myself
>CircleOfLife.jpg
>mom bursts through front door
>M'BABY BOOOYYYYYY

...

That is one big pile of shit

no u

It always makes me smile so much when you see girls like that all dressed up slutty,being loud and acting like they are models at the beginning of the night. Then it turns to chaos.

>You encourage that she goes out
Why would I ever do this?

...

Uhh... how often does this happen?

are you really not seeing that other people shit on this poor lady?

It's happened a few times.

My first thought too, but i had a hard time imagining her 'friends' would line up just to take a shit on her

I fucking died

Unlikely friendo, multiple shits would encase a variety of colors and textures. This shit is all one tone and texture. Its either all hers or only 1 person took a shit on her

I would document this with photos, then clean her up. When she is sober and aware again, I would show her the pictures, explain what I did, and let her know it won't happen this way again, because she would be dead to me from then on.

That's a few minus one too may times.
She's broken, you're a sadly desperate idiot.

>shes broken

Come on guy, everybody passes out at a party and takes a collassal shit on themself at one point or another. Its a natural part of life

How is she broken? She likes to go out and party and have fun. Just a few times she's gotten too drunk.

I'd walk up to her, add my own meaty dump to the mound of shit, turn 360° and walk away.

They're lucky she wasn't on her back, this way she can use her legs as a floor for the shit

Yeah or diarrhea.
Could you imagine if she passed out, and only mi utes later you find her with a Mount Vesuvius jet of shit water shooting 3 feet into the air

>Just a few times she's gotten too drunk.
There's your sign.

Do you know what that picture tells me?

That is a LOT of poop.
This tells me that this chick is one of those girls that has a weird poop phobia. She won't relieve herself in public places. She won't go poop when you go camping.(she'll hold on to it for days and make herself and everyone else miserable.)

That picture is her body going "fuck you bitch!" and letting it all go.

This is how it would play out if I were OP

>"user, you need to get down here"
>"Ashley shit herself...again"
>'what do I look like, a fucking turd custodian? leave her there. Dont call me again.

Maybe she just has a massive colon and shits twice is big, but only every other day

why does this turn me on so much.

if i ran into her like this, i'd literally wipe the shit away from her asshole in one motion and shove my dick in there so fast

She gets one of those. Any more and you're obviously with someone who makes very poor choices. It's probably why she's with you in the first place.

You tried

Poorly at best

hilarious

t. feces-whisperer

I'd chow down on the all you can eat shit buffet

...

Clean her up and buy her diapers for the next 0time she shits herself.
Of course fucking not break up with her imediatley

i was a full blown bottle plus a day of vodka alcoholic for a year straight. never shit myself

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Your liver is probabaly 3x normal size

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I would clean her up and take her home

Feast

Sad life. Can't imagine the social rejection and self loathing that ensued

She probabaly does this at every party and it's just a running gag at this point.

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