Medfags help. My live in gf (20) claims she does not shit...

Medfags help. My live in gf (20) claims she does not shit. She said she has a acid producing chemical in her belly that destroys food. Ok i dont know too much about an anatomy. 3 months now. Wel yesterday after she took a long shower I went in and lifted lid to see a ENORMOUS LOG. She ran in like a milisec after I discovered it and slammed the lid shut flushing toilet. After she said turd was not hers. That I did it last night and forgot. For the life of me I can not remember doing that. She is petite and that was a huge shit. Help.

that's kind of hot, got anymore poop stories

Your girlfriend shits and you're a retard.

Medfag here your gf has a condition known as nopoopyitus..you in fact took that huge turd log the previous night.

She insists it was me legit. But 8 can't recall pushing out something that huge. Who knows. I would hate 2 think my gf would lie.

next time have a camera ready and get a picture of her shit

Let me help you here, user. You guys are clearly fucking children.

She's shitting you. The majority of the digestion process and the absorption of nutrients takes place in the small intestine. On the off chance that she does have super stomach acid then she'd be pretty malnourished and likely taking meds to counter it. And if she's on meds to control it, she will shit.

The more likely situation is that your girlfriend is into anal, secretly or otherwise. She deliberately constipates herself to enjoy the feeling of something long and hard up her ass, stimulating her vagus nerve.

I mean she never goes in bathroom but pee(very quickly)And shower.

Your girlfriend is clearly misshaped and misguided by society to have real deep down shame over the fact that her female body produces stinky smelly piles of fecal matter like all other humans. Pretty fucked yo but honestly hilarious that her female mind is in such denial of a basic human function that she has to make her stupid Neanderthal boyfriend contemplate when he took his last shit for far far to long

Is today gr8 b8 day? This is the third such retard post I've seen.

So when the fuck is she doing it??????

Yeah. One night I had this dream where I woke up lying on my belly. I never sleep on my belly. I felt really full in my butt like I had to take a massive poop. Soon I felt flesh rhythmically slapping against my butt and heard my girlfriend moaning. I caught a glimpse of her in the mirror and saw some huge, dry turd halfway out of her ass. She was bouncing on me, driving her turd deeper and deeper into my butt while she masturbated furiously. I was legit creeped out but it felt kind of good so I pretended to be asleep. When she came she shot the log right up my ass. I guess it hit my prostate because I felt really good and my dick squirted a bit. Afterwards she rolled me over, sucked my cock clean, and put her head on my chest. I always thought it was just a dream, but now I'm not sure anymore.

I'd shit on her feet. Got any pics of your gf without socks on?

Whoa.

OP here. That pic is not my gf.

She's probably using the shower to hide the fact that she shits. I bet she normally unloads in the shower and stomps it down the drain.

If you dont shit for a few days it's gonna build up. Happened to me when I went camping. Didn't crap for 3 days. When I did it was a big long Lincoln log.

...

Hello OP! The smiling OP's imaginary waifu is the looking nubile and needy! It causing the schwanz to arise!

>The schwanz grows erect and rips the hole in the pants
>OP's imaginary waifu is bent over and the schwanz is thrust inside
>Vigorous pleasurey hip shake commence

Ooooooooohhhhhhh yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaahhhh! (in the voice of the kool aid man having the powreful ograsm)

>The schwanz releases the rich and creamy royal seamin
>The OP's imaginary waifu makes the ahegao from the powreful ograsm and is pragnated
>She wants moar!
>The schwanz is insreted into the OP's imaginary waifu's butt, and the anus
>Good time fragrant nostalgia pleasure feeling!

Ooooooooohhhhhhh yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaahhhh! (in the voice of the kool aid man having the powreful ograsm)

>The OP's imaginary waifu has another ograsm
>The schwanz releases endless royal seamin into the OP's imaginary waifu
>She explodes and rains babby all over
>A tear rolls down OP's cheek
>I defecate with power and majesty

Aaaahhhh! It is good to be the king! The schwanz king! ^,^

Im just wondering...

Why the FUCK would you lie about that?..

Nice try, but I know you've got a huge boner under that pillow.

Silly Anons, girls don't poop.

Nice try, but I've already done a reverse image search and found her Facebook page. Gonna link her to this thread. Enjoy being single, OP. If she was ever in a relationship with you to begin with.

kek

This, well sort of. This is how it goes down - She turns on the shower, then takes a huge 'i'm-constipated-from-popping-pills' shit, then says aloud 'oh my i had to pee SO bad!', then flushes her gargantuan ass monster, then she showers. You are none the wiser.

...

>huge
let's try to keep things realistic in this thread. It's a serious matter

Wel?

I'm guessing your gf is white and her brand of crazy is just something i have not seen first hand before.
so white girls are crazy, all of them. just act as if she doesn't poop nd that's ok, but know that when she insists she is not cheating on you with Jamal and Jose you will have to believe her as well.

Go to your local library and pick up a copy of "Everybody Poops"

> that insomniarhea

Apples dont poop,ypu dumdum

I'd shit on her feet.

Texted her brother and flat out explain to him. No response yet.

>but know that when she insists she is not cheating on you with Jamal and Jose you will have to believe her as well.
True. If she can make you believe that she doesn't shit ... then she'll also have you believe that her gaping asshole and cavernous rectum are because of ... umm ... genetics.

Yes that is the scientific term for nopoopyitus, insomnarhea is a very deadly disease user...poor user has no clue he poops in the middle of the night..shame

...

...

This guy has the truth of it. Probably speaking from personal experience.

She is holding in her turds. Tell her that you don't care that she poops and that she is free to do that when she needs to.

She will become regular when she starts drinking coffee.

Shit, shower, shave

Words to live by

No response from her brother yet.

Feed her a lot of watermelon and apples for a week. Her story will change to "I'm always shitting."

This

Ok maybe she IS shitting b3fore shower. No smell tho.

that bitch does not shit because she has her ass stuffed with dirty nigger cock every day kys faggot

...

Here brother finally texted back. He just wrote wtf.

...

Screenshot or shens

...

Ahh, the fresh Kyubey dumpling-chan! It is the smiling mouth!

>The schwanz is thrust into the Kyubey dumpling-chan's mouth and thrust frocefully

Ohhhh Kyubey dumpling-chan! The smile mouth sooo good! Hnnnnngh! Aahhhhh! Hooooaaarrgghhh!

>The powreful ograsm is had
>Kyubey dumpling-chan explodes from the rich seamin and regal glory
>Another Kyubey dumpling-chan comes to devour the remains
>The entire race is pragnated
>I defecate regally

Ahhhh! It is good to be the king! The schwanz king! ^,^

How does this guy think that's a picture of op's gf? He's trying to dox op with what is clearly a random internet photo.

Wtf

OP here. It is NOT MY GF. Wth

I'm pretty sure you don't have a girlfriend.

You're a moron?

motherfucker
WHAT!

Everyone shits, you piece of shit.

the wise words of Sup Forums

What's the creative process behind this? I'm genuinely curious, since I'm not a creative person and would like to know what made come up with this scenario in your head.

Schwanz here, not OP. I used to engage in benign shitposting in the waifu threads. At least one of the regulars at the time there was familiar with the anime Kyubey (the creature the dumpling represents) is from, so it was a bit of fan service in one respect.

But aside from that a lot of that post and Schwanz King stuff in general was inspired by looking at typos, speech patterns, etc. that were common in Engrish and coming up with something that felt similar, at least to me. Add in my penchant for general absurdity and there you go.

I'd shit on her feet.

No shit.

I'd shit on her feet.

fucking retard

Truth

Funniest thread ever.

Checked

You OK Bro?

What's so funny? Poop is gross. Guessing about half the posters here are German.

I think he's trolling and you took the bait.

Baited like a nigger.

Why are there so many responses to this?

Fuck christ your gurl is kim jong un

/thread

Is she a nigger? Some niggers don't shit, their nigger body recycles it back to their brain as shit cells.

this is now a log thread, praise andy

I'd shit on her feet.

>American education

What the fuck did i just read

What the actual fuck is this thread

This nigga gets it

A shitty story.

I love this thread

your girlfriend holds her shit and probably poops once every 3-4 days